A/N: Okay...hello people. We - being Yunie and Yuffie - have thought of doing this for a while...and have now done it. This is a parody about Artemis Fowl, Tidus and their girlfriends.
Artemis Fowl: Those of you who haven't read the books, this is a short summary of the personality of Artemis Fowl. Artemis Fowl is cold hearted, arrogant, intelligent beyond belief, rich, Irish, lives in a manor in Ireland, is mostly emotionless and is a criminal. Those of you who don't know...I - being me Yuffie - have written afew fics about Artemis Fowl with an 'other' character named Yuffie (in which I got the name from FFVII - so I don't own it). She changes him slightly...but he's still cold hearted most times...but in this parody...she is WITH him. Also, in the books there are parts about the fairies and the LEP...I'm not sure whether we're going to be mentioning them in this parody...but I'll just say that they are a race of 'fairies'...not the fairies that have wings and flutter around with fairy dust...no...these fairies cover a whole range of mystical creatures. Trolls, elves, gnomes, dwarves and pixies. Any hoo...there's a breif description of Artemis Fowl.
This is supposed to be a 'humerous' fic...but there will also be romance too.
I think Tidus and Yunie (Yuna) goes without saying...you all know those two!
In this parody...Yunie and Yuffie know each other and subsequently live with each other at Fowl Manor, at Yuffie's request. Artemis has reluctantly obliged due to the fact that he loves Yuffie. Read on and you'll find out more!
The Fowl and The Fool
Fowl Manor, in the Study, 12 PM
Artemis was sitting at his computer, when suddenly his door slammed open with a bang. Artemis did not jump. He merely swivelled his head toward the person who caused the noise and sighed; clearly annoyed.
"Hey Art Man!" exclaimed the blonde, blue eyed man.
Artemis didn't respond to this childish greeting. He simply stared at the person who had disturbed his concentration, hoping that the icy glare he shot towards him was enough to intimidate the young fool.
But this certain blonde took no notice. He did however make his way over to where Artemis sat, gazing around the study in complete awe.
"Man this place looks boring!"
Artemis sighed again; his temper rising. He looked away and massaged his temples. He suddenly swivelled his leather chair around to fully focus on the tall blitz ace towering before him.
Artemis closed his eyes and rose from the chair to stand at eye level; a frustrated look on his face.
"Can't you see I'm busy Tidus? I've told you time and time again…DO NOT DISTURB ME WHEN I AM FORMULATING A PLAN!" he responded firmly, his voice slightly rising.
Tidus gave Artemis a weird look, but then shook off the icicles that were left from Artemis's stare.
"Whatever...now that you're up and about, lets do something," said Tidus cheerfully and full of hope that Artemis would oblige to his request.
Artemis continued to stare coldly toward Tidus and replied: "Are you deficient? Are you deaf? I said in my previous response that I am in the middle of form…"
"Hey…Art Man…I know what you said…it's just I really don't care. I mean…what's with the skin? Say it with me…sunlight," interrupted Tidus, who noticed Artemis's very light complexion, due to the amount of time he spent inside; devising evil and illegitimate plans.
"For the last time…my name is Artemis Fowl the Second. I do not wish to be called 'Art Man' – where ever you came up with that name will be the death of me…and that is very unlikely…which encourages me to come to the conclusion that perhaps you do it to annoy me – but getting back to the point…I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRUCIAL ELEMENT OF MY PLAN THAT NEEDS INTRICATE ATTENTION TO DETAIL!" exclaimed Artemis, coldly.
Tidus gazed at him, as he tried to take in everything Artemis had just said.
"Okay, I got the name and I heard 'plan' a few times…or maybe just once…but anyways…other than that; you've lost me!" Tidus said, scratching the back of his head, somewhat confused.
Artemis closed his eyes and tried to not lose his cool…which basically never happened.
"Well, let me put it into words that only a deficient, unintellectual person would understand. GO AWAY!" exclaimed Artemis.
Tidus grinned somewhat evilly, folded his arms and said: "Well I happen to know for a fact that you're supposed to be 'nice' to me while I'm here," said Tidus, almost slyly; emphasising the word 'I'm'.
"Oh? And who informed you of this? I 'bow to no one' as the saying goes, though I suppose you'd know nothing of literacy…would you Tidus?" asked Artemis, smiling slyly and hopefully successfully changing the direction of the conversation.
"I'm just gonna block out the last part. Anyway…Yuffie told me that if you don't act civil with me then you won't be getting 'any' for a long, long time!" Tidus replied, as he raised his eyebrows, with a cheeky smile.
Artemis, who had turned around to face the window with his back toward Tidus, suddenly widened his eyes. 'How could she say such a comment to the likes of…him?' thought Artemis.
"She wouldn't be able to resist me even if she did express that request," said Artemis slyly as he turned to face a surprised Tidus.
Tidus looked a little shocked at Artemis's statement. Usually he wouldn't ever comment on something so personal. But Tidus decided to jump in at that exact moment, thinking that maybe the guy was finally loosening up.
"Hey, that's what I'm talking about. I knew there was a bit of a normal human being in there somewhere Arty!" he laughed, as he patted Artemis on the shoulder playfully.
Artemis rolled his eyes and brushed Tidus's hand off his shoulder.
"Yes, yes…now leave," drawled Artemis, coldly.
Tidus walked back a bit and held his hands up defensively.
"Okay…I'll leave…but I'll be making sure to let Yuffie know how irresistible you are."
He then closed the dor and left Artemis to his schemes.
A/N: Well, what did you think? Please read and review...even if you think its pathetic...though...we thought it was funny when we wrote it at school...so...until next time. Stay tuned!
Yunie Tidus and Aurum Potestas Est (being Yunie and Yuffie)