The Wild Thing, a gargoyles fanfic

The Wild Thing

by L. Mouse

Disclaimers: Disney owns the Gargoyles, Agnes belongs to Christine Morgan.

To: Lexington@xanacorp.com

From: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com
Subject: Well?

So do you think they're doing it?

Brook

To: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com

From: Lexington@xanacorp.com

Subject: Re: Well?

Who, Elisa and Goliath or Xanatos and Owen?

So do you think they're doing it?

Lex

To: Lexington@xanacorp.com

From: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com

Subject: Re: Re: Well?

Xanatos and Owen? Ewwwwwww. That's just wrong and perverse, man.

Elisa and Goliath, dummy.

Brook

To: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com

From: Lexington@xanacorp.com

CC: Angelagargoyle@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Well?

Elisa and Goliath, dummy.

I dunno. Maybe Angela knows. Angela? We're trying to decide if our fearless leader is doing the wild thing.

Lex

P.S.

Xanatos and Owen? Ewwwwwww. That's just wrong and perverse, man

And Owen did say that 'service was its own reward', didn't he?

From: Angelagargoyle@hotmail.com

To: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Lexington@xanacorp.com

Subject Re: Fearless Leader

We're trying to decide if our fearless leader is doing the wild thing.

Well, I just asked Elisa. She turned several shades of red and told me they're not. So make of that what you will.

Xanatos and Owen? Ewwwwwww. That's just wrong and perverse, man

And Owen did say that 'service was its own reward', didn't he?

Come on! I'd sooner believe Demona and Macbeth were Doing It. Owen? Does he even know how?

Angela

To: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com

From: Owen.Burnett@xanacorp.com

Subject: Please see attached

Xanatos, I pulled a copy of this off our mail servers. As you requested, I am making you aware of any and all interesting communications sent or received by our guests. Please see attached:

Attachment 1:

|We're trying to decide if our fearless leader is doing the wild thing.

|Well, I just asked Elisa. She turned several shades of red and told me they're not.

|So make of that what you will.

|Xanatos and Owen? Ewwwwwww. That's just wrong and perverse, man

|And Owen did say that 'service was its own reward', didn't he?

|Come on! I'd sooner believe Demona and Macbeth were Doing It. Owen? Does he even

|know how?

|Angela

To: Owen.Burnett@xanacorp.com

From: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com

Subject: Re: Please see attached

Owen? Does he even know how?

Well, Puck certainly does. ;)

Your Fearless Leader

To: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com

From: Puck

Subject: Service is its own reward, indeed

Well, Puck certainly does. ;)

Wheeeeee! And so does your lady wife!

Puck

To: Owen.Burnett@xanacorp.com

From: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com

Subject: Threesomes

Well, yes. Why did you think I married her?

Well, Puck certainly does. ;)

Wheeeeee! And so does your lady wife!

David

From: Lexington@securemail.com

To: Brooklyn@securemail.com

Subject: Please see attached

Hey Brooklyn! Look what I pulled off the mail servers at Xanacorp!

|Owen? Does he even know how?

|Well, Puck certainly does. ;)

|Fearless Leader

|To: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com

|From: Puck

|

|Subject: Service is its own reward, indeed

|Well, Puck certainly does. ;)

|Wheeeeee! And so does your lady wife!

|Puck

|Well, yes. Why did you think I married her?

|Well, Puck certainly does. ;)

|Wheeeeee! And so does your lady wife!

|David

To: Lexington@securemail.com

From: Brooklyn@securemail.com

Subject: Re: Please see attached

Ew. Thank you for that image, brother mine. I'll have you know I was eating.

Brook

To: Brooklyn@securemail.com

From: Lexington@securemail.com

CC: Angela@securemail.com

Subject: Re: Please see attached

Ew. Thank you for that image, brother mine. I'll have you know I was eating.

You're so welcome.

Now, in all seriousness, what are we going to do about Elisa and Goliath?

Lex

To: Lexington@securemail.com

From: Brooklyn@securemail.com

Subject: Re: Elisa and Goliath

what are we going to do about Elisa and Goliath?

Do what?

Brooklyn

From: Angela@securemail.com

To: Lexington@securemail.com, Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Elisa and Goliath

what are we going to do about Elisa and Goliath?

Lexington's right. Those two love each other. But I think Father's scared he's going to hurt her -- emotionally, you know -- or that she doesn't want him. And after what Mother did to him, I think he's a little gunshy, too.

But all you have to do is watch her sometimes. She loves him. Gods! does she love him. But she's not going to make a move because -- oh, I don't know why. Maybe she's scared of what her family will think.

Angela

From: Lexington@securemail.com

To: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

CC: Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Angela@securemail.com

Subject: Fwd: Re: Re: Elisa and Goliath

So Talon, what's your family think of Elisa and Goliath as a couple?

Lex

what are we going to do about Elisa and Goliath?

Lexington's right. Those two love each other. But I think

Father's scared he's going to hurt her -- emotionally, you

know -- or that she doesn't want him. And after what Mother

did to him, I think he's a little gunshy, too.

But all you have to do is watch her sometimes. She loves

him. Gods! does she love him. But she's not going to

make a move because -- oh, I don't know why. Maybe

she's scared of what her family will think.

From: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

To: Lexington@securemail.com

CC: Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Angela@securemail.com

Subject: Fwd: Re: Re: Elisa and Goliath

Huh. I figured they already were doing the wild thing. Elisa's mad about Goliath.

Beth approves. Mom approves. Dad doesn't approve of anyone my sisters date, but that doesn't have anything to do with the wing thing. Aunt Agnes would have kittens, but in the interest of keeping feline offspring to a minimum in this family, I propose we simply not tell her.

Goliath's a vast improvement over her last boyfriend, anyway.

Talon

To: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

From: Angela@securemail.com

CC: Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Lexington@securemail.com

Subject: Fwd: Re: Re: Elisa and Goliath

Goliath's a vast improvement over her last boyfriend, anyway.

Last boyfriend?

Angela

To: Angela@securemail.com

From: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

CC: Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Lexington@securemail.com
Subject: Elisa's Boyfriend

.Goliath's a vast improvement over her last boyfriend, anyway.

Last boyfriend?

Yeah. Tony Dracon. Back in high school. And before that, the captain of the football team. I ended up breaking his nose for her.

So I'm assuming by this line of questioning that ya'll have -- oops, gotta go. Library's opening in a few minutes, I'd better fly before someone sees me.

Talon

To: Angela@securemail.com

From: Matt-Bluestone@nypd.com

CC: Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Lexington@securemail.com

Subject: Elisa's Boyfriend

This is Derek, I'm borrowing Matt's e-mail account. As I started to say, I'm assuming you've established that they're not doing the wild thing. And I think Angela's assessment is dead on. So I propose we meddle and do something about that. I'll take on Goliath -- Angela, you want to work on Elisa?

First guy she's ever been interested in that I like. She's not allowed to chicken out. And if he breaks her heart, I'll break his head.

Talon

To: CC: Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Lexington@securemail.com, Angela@securemail.com, Talon-Derek@hotmail.com

From: Matt-Bluestone@nypd.com

Subject: Elisa's Boyfriend

And this is Matt. And count me in. The girl needs to get laid. She told me to shut-the-f-up today and all I did was mention that King Arthur belonged to the Illuminati. Really.

Bluestone

To: Dominique-Destine@nightstone.com

From: Sevarious@nightstone.com

Subject: Secure Mail Industries

Oh Demona my dear, you remember that ISP that we bought as part of a package to get the Secure Bionics Company? Well, I was looking on their email server, and lookit what I found ...

Attachment 1:

|This is Derek, I'm borrowing Matt's e-mail account. As I started to say, I'm assuming you've established that |they're not doing the wild thing. And I think Angela's assessment is dead on. So I propose we meddle and |do something about that. I'll take on Goliath -- Angela, you want to work on Elisa?

|First guy she's ever been interested in that I like. She's not allowed to chicken out. And if he breaks her |heart, I'll break his head.

|Talon

From: Dominique.Destine@nightstone.com

To: Sevarious@nightstone.com

Subject: Damn her

Got any projects that need subjects?

Demona

From: Sevarious@nightstone.com

To: Dominique.Destine@nightstone.com

Subject: Sleeping Beauty

Hon, as a matter of fact, I do. Howsabout a suspended animation project?

Anton

From: Dominique.Destine@nightstone.com

To: Sevarious@nightstone.com

Subject: Re: Sleeping Bitch

Send the requisition to my office for whatever funding you need. The only caveat I have is that you test a long term suspended animation project, if you know what I mean.

Demona

From: Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

To: Angela@securemail.com, Lexington@securemail.com, Brooklyn@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Talon-Derek@hotmail.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Beth.Maza@nau.edu, macbeth@the-real-king.com

Subject: Project Cupid

Okay, here's the game plan I think we came up with on that conference call last night. I just wanted to email everyone so we're all firm on what we need to do.

1. I'm going to remind the big guy that it's Elisa's birthday in two days, and tell him that Elisa's had a rough week -- which is true, incidentally; every nut in the city seemed to chose this week to commit a weird crime -- and suggest that he take her out somewhere, just him, rather than plan a big party.

2. Angela, Talon, Beth, you're going to work on Elisa. Angela, you're going to tell Elisa how much Goliath cares about her. Talon, you're going to make sure you think she knows you approve. Beth, you're going to casually ASK her about her boyfriend.

3. Brooklyn, Lex, Broadway, you're going to gang up on Goliath and make sure he takes roses and champagne for her birthday if you have to sit on him and make him cry uncle first.

So -- on your mark, get set, go start Project Cupid!

Bluestone

From: Goliath@securemail.com

To: Elisa.Maza@nypd.com

Subject: Dinner

Dear Elisa,

Your partner has advised me that it is your birthday tomorrow. I understand if you already have plans, but if you do not, would you like to meet me at the Aeryie Building's tallest tower for dinner? Broadway has volunteered to cook, and Owen somehow determined that it was your birthday and has provided a bottle of champagne for the meal as an, I quote, 'small token of Xanatos' regret for all his errors in the past.'

I should like to see you again; we so seldom have time to spend together these days. And with all due respect -- you work too hard.

With sincerity,

Goliath

To: Goliath@securemail.com

From: Elisa.Maza@nypd.com

Subject: Re: Dinner

Goliath, I'd love to meet you for dinner.

Frankly, I figured at first that my family was planning a surprise party like they do every year. But I suppose they've just forgotten. ;);););)

Elisa

To: Elisa.Maza@nypd.com

From: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Stuff

Hi Elisa! Just thought I'd drop you a line to let you know how things are going here. I just got an 'A' on biology test and we went hiking up the San Francisco Peaks.

So how's that boyfriend of yours doing?

Beth

To: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

From: Elisa.Maza@nypd.com

Subject: Re: Stuff

What boyfriend? If you mean Jason, he turned out to be a homicidal fanatic out to kill my friends. But he's getting better.

Elisa

To: Elisa.Maza@nypd.com

From: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Re: Re: Stuff

No, not Jason. Tall, dark and brooding with wings. You know, the one we can't tell Auntie Agnes about for fear that Maggie won't be the only mother of felines in the family.

Beth

To: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Hey idiot child!
BETH!!!

Forget Agnes! I can't tell my boss about Goliath either so I'd appreciate you not emailing me at work about him!

Your pissed sister,

Elisa

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

From: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Re: Hey idiot child!

Sorry. But how is he?

Beth

To: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Re:Re: Hey idiot child!

Goliath is not my boyfriend. He is, however, fine. We're having dinner together tonight.

Elisa

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

From: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Boyfriends

Goliath is not my boyfriend.

So does this mean he's fair game, then?

Beth

To: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: Boyfriends

Touch a hair on his head and die, idiot child!

Elisa

Goliath is not my boyfriend.

So does this mean he's fair game, then?

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

From: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Re:Re: Boyfriends

I knew it! I knew it! Nyah! So what's it like to kiss someone with fangs?

Beth

Touch a hair on his head and die, idiot child!

Elisa

To: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Boyfriends

He's not my boyfriend, really. He's just ... a very good friend. We can't be anything more than that, obviously. Can't you just see Dad's reaction?

Elisa

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

From: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Re:Re: Re: Re: Boyfriends

What do you care what Dad thinks? You never did before. And hell, he's an improvement over Tony.

Beth

To: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Boyfriends

Oh, by the way, he's a good kisser.

Elisa

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

From: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Re:Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Boyfriends

Who, Goliath or Dracon?

Beth

Oh, by the way, he's a good kisser.

To: Beth.Maza@nau.edu

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Boyfriends

Who, Goliath or Dracon?

Oh, both. But Goliath has a better butt.

Elisa

To: Goliath@securemail.com

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: I think they're up to something

Hey Goliath, has everybody been acting weird, or what?

Angela made a point of catching me before work and telling me that you really, wink-wink, like me. My sister keeps bugging me about, 'how you're doing.' And Derek told me point blank that he approves of you. I smell a conspiracy, big guy.

Elisa

P.S. -- I'm going to kiss you again when I see you. *evil grin*

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

From: Goliath@securemail.com

Subject: Re: I think they're up to something

I do believe that they are matchmaking. The trio threatened to tickle me if I didn't bring you flowers. Not, of course, that I wasn't planning to do so anyway. What do you propose that we do about this?

Goliath

To: Goliath@securemail.com

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: I think they're up to something

The trio threatened to tickle me if I didn't bring you flowers.

You're ticklish? Hmmm ....

Give me a call on my cell phone when you get this. I've got an evil idea for how to take advantage of this. They deserve a lesson in why they shouldn't meddle ...

Deviously,

Elisa

From: Brooklyn@securemail.com

To: Lexington@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Angela@securemail.com, Maggie-cat@hotmail.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: Well, that went over like a lead balloon

So that worked wonderfully. Note the sarcasm. Goliath dropped to one knee and tried to give Elisa those damned flowers in the Great Hall, and she dashed them out of his hand, started sobbing, and told him, "I TOLD you I'm not interested in a romantic relationship! Can't you get that through that thick skull of yours? If you can't keep this friends only, I never want to see you again!" And I think she called him a bastard, too. And he pointed out that he couldn't be a bastard; the term's not applicable to gargoyles.

And then she stomped off. And Goliath snarled and stomped off the other way and flew off and I haven't see him all night. He's probably off brooding somewhere.

Glumly,

Brooklyn

From: Goliath@securemail.com

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Where are you?

My Dearest Elisa,

I thought we were going to meet at your apartment? I tried your phone when you were not there; I just got your voice mail.

Looking forward very much to that promised kiss,

With deep affection,

Goliath

From: Goliath@securemail.com

To: Elisa.Maza@nypd.com

Subject: Elisa? Please let me know you're okay.

You never responded to my email last night, and I'm quite worried now.

With deep affection and concern,

Goliath

From: Goliath@securemail.com

To: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

Subject: The whereabouts of Elisa Maza

I am writing you to ask if either of you have seen Elisa recently. I have not seen her in two days and her cat was not fed. I fear something ill may have befallen her.

With concern,

Goliath

From: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

To: Goliath@securemail.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

Subject: My sister

Actually, from what I understand, my sister told you to buzz off and that she wasn't interested in you. So buzz. It's none of your business where she's at, as far as I'm concerned.

If she wants to be left alone, you sure as hell better leave her alone or we'll find out just who's the better warrior.

Talon

From: Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

To: Goliath@securemail.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

Subject: Elisa

Actually, we just filed a missing person's report. Elisa never reported to work last night, and she was supposed to.

Any chance she's not just real upset and playing hooky somewhere?

Matt

From: Goliath@securemail.com

To: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

Subject: Re: Elisa

There is no chance that Elisa is hiding from the world solely because of something I said, and anyway, that is not how she would react were she mad at me. She's more likely to, ah, I believe the term is 'whoop ass,' if she is upset.

Elisa and I are on quite good terms, actually and she is not mad at me. Derek, if you'll rouse the labyrinth, I'll get the clan to searching. Matt, please keep me posted on any developments that might turn up.

With much concern and fear,

Goliath

From: Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

To: Goliath@securemail.com, Brooklyn@securemail.com, Angela@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com

CC: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com

Subject: Luck?

Anyone have any luck? It's been three days now.

From: Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com

To: Goliath@securemail.com, Brooklyn@securemail.com, Angela@securemail.com, Broadway@securemail.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

Subject: Re: Luck

None here. However, I might like to point out that Secure Mail is owned by Nightstone Enterprises. I understand the clan's concern about using Xanacorp mailboxes for e-mail, but might I suggest that if you do not trust us, you at least use another provider such as Hotmail?

Of course, Xanacorp does not have a spam problem. The Puck has ... ways ... of dealing with spammers.

Owen

From: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com

To: Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com, Goliath@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

Subject: Re: Elisa

Okay, who here thinks that Demona's behind this shit with Elisa disappearing?

Even if she's not, I'm thinking she needs her butt kicked again on general principles. Who's with me?

Brooklyn

From: Goliath@xanacorp.com

To: Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com, Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com

Subject: Re: Re: Elisa

If Demona has harmed one hair on Elisa's head, I shall 'whoop ass' on Elisa's behalf. Aaaaaaugh! I should have never let her get away last time!

Alas, it is too late tonight, but tomorrow we meet at Nightstone at one half hour past dusk.

Goliath

From: Clawguy@hotmail.com

To: Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com, Goliath@xanacorp.com, Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com
Subject: Demona

Yeah, but what were you going to do? Kill her?

Don't think that would work very well. Though -- I'm inclined to suggest that we find out what would happen if we quartered her and sank the pieces into the deepest parts of four different oceans.

Claw

From: Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com

To: Goliath@xanacorp.com, Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Demona

Though -- I'm inclined to suggest that we find out what would happen if we quartered her and sank the pieces into the deepest depths of four different oceans.

Demona would be quite upset when the pieces finally found each other. Might slow her down, though, for a few years.

Owen

From: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

To: Goliath@xanacorp.com, Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com
Subject: Re: Demona

So what if we used a wood chipper?

Derek

Though -- I'm inclined to suggest that we find out what would happen if we quartered her and sank the pieces into the deepest parts of four different oceans.

Demona would be quite upset when the pieces finally found each other. Might slow her down, though, for a few years.

Owen

From: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com

To: Goliath@xanacorp.com, Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com
Subject: Re: Re: Demona

Remind me, Derek, to stay on your good side, from now on.

Xanatos

So what if we used a wood chipper?

Derek

Though -- I'm inclined to suggest that we find out what would happen if we quartered her and sank the pieces into the deepest parts of four different oceans.

Demona would be quite upset when the pieces finally found each other. Might slow her down, though, for a few years.

Owen

From: Derek-Talon@hotmail.com

To: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Demona

Good side? As far as you're concerned, I don't have a good side. You're just lower on my priority list than a few other people right now.

Did I ever mention I have the most interesting pictures of you two and Fox doing the Wild Thing?

With so much affection,

Derek

Remind me, Derek, to stay on your good side, from now on.

Xanatos

From: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com

To: Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Lexington@xanacorp.com

Subject: Yay! We rescued her!

Oh my gods you guys, did you see Goliath? I thought he was going to tear Sevarius into little pieces!

And Demona -- I can't believe she actually said, "Curses! Foiled again!"

From: Angela@xanacorp.com

To: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Lexington@xanacorp.com

Subject: Re: Yay! We rescued her!

Oh, that wasn't the best part. The best part was when Goliath pulled Elisa out of that suspended-animation vat, and she was asleep still, and he kissed her, and she woke up. It was like something out of a fairy tail, I tell you!

Did you see the way she looked at him?

And Demona -- I can't believe she actually said, "Curses! Foiled again!"

Angela

From: Lexington@xanacorp.com

To: Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Brooklyn@xanacorp.com

Subject: Re: Re: Yay! We rescued her!

Did you see the way she kissed him before he flew away with her? So do you think they did it?

Lex

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

To: Brooklyn@xanacorp.com, Angela@xanacorp.com, Broadway@xanacorp.com, Maggie-Cat@hotmail.com, Clawguy@hotmail.com, Derek-Talon@hotmail.com, Matt.Bluestone@nypd.com, Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com, Beth.Maza@nau.edu

Subject: In answer to your unspoken questions ...

Yes. We did it. I know you've all been wondering, even if it's really none of your business. But we did it. The horizontal mambo. The two-headed beast. The Wild Thing.

Happy now?

And thanks for the rescue.

Grinning,

Elisa

From: Puck

To: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com

Subject: Oooooooooohhhhh

Hey David,

Think they'd be willing to join us?

Puck

Yes. We did it. I know you've all been wondering, even if it's really none of your business. But we did it. The horizontal mambo. The two-headed beast. The Wild Thing.

From: Fox@xanacorp.com

To: Fearlessleader-Xanatos@xanacorp.com, Owen.Burnette@xanacorp.com

Subject: Not on your life!

I will have you know I am not sharing with Elisa,

With a great deal of sincerity,

Fox

Hey David,

Think they'd be willing to join us?

Puck

From: Goliath@xanacorp.com

To: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

Subject: Beloved

My beloved Elisa,

I look forward to a lifetime of nights like the last one. You are the light of my life, the sun in my starlit skies. Shall we meet again tomorrow?

With love,

Goliath

From: Stonefriend@hotmail.com

To: Goliath@xanacorp.com

Subject: Beloved

I look forward to a lifetime of nights like the last one.

You are the light of my life, the sun in my starlit skies.

Shall we meet again tomorrow?

And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Love you, big guy.

Elisa

~The End~

This demented fic brought to you by L. Mouse's creativity demons, which reared up and insisted I write the damn thing in One Day when I was really supposed to be working on an original story. Oh well. Hope you laughed. I amused myself ...