In all the time they had known each other, Malik had made a number of suppositions about Altaïr's character, however, there were only two things about Altaïr that he was completely and utterly sure of: i) that Altaïr was a novice; and ii) Altaïr was not only a novice but the most infuriating, irritating, abhorrent novice to have ever been inducted into the Assassin's Order.
Had anyone ever required proof of the latter fact, Malik would have just directed them to:
i) The abundance of stray cats that currently filled his bureau, all of which had come crawling in deftly from the roof's entrance (which Altaïr had left open), enticed by the scent of raw fish (that Altaïr had helpfully left in plates all over the place) wafting from his bureau;
ii) The fact that his entire library had inexplicably been replaced with The Many Bawdy Adventures of the Great Thief Ali al-Fakir, Volumes 1 to 137; and
iii) The mysterious disappearance of his compasses and assorted cartographic tools, which he later discovered, after being hit on the head by a thankfully blunt protractor, were now stuck to his ceiling.
And yet the novice had the absolute gall to saunter into his bureau later (very much later, just after he had shooed the cats out of his bureau, re-acquired his precious, precious books and maps from a rather terrified merchant, and removed all the rather deceptively dangerous implements from his ceiling) and say, "Safety and peace, brother. Today was a great day, Malik. For once, I managed not to rouse an entire army of Templars into chasing me around the city. And how was your day, brother?"
The doctor was the sort of man who thought he had seen it all. Over the years, he had dealt with injuries on every single part of the human anatomy that could be injured, but he had never seen a wound like this one. It appeared, to him, less like an accident and more like an attempted murder by compass.
He tilted his patient's head back to examine the wound further.
The doctor's notes on that particular patient would, in time, come to be known as the most revered and ridiculed medical accounts to have ever existed, for it recounted the story of such a peculiar man that it had to be seen to be believed, for not only did that man survive having a compass jammed up his nose, and ostensibly into his brain, he would later become known as one of the greatest assassins to have ever lived.
Notes: I originally started writing this for an AC prompt somewhere, but then it turned into this. I'm considerably new to the fandom and I'm aware that Altaïr and Malik are terribly out-of-character and the writing is also probably horrible, so I really welcome any constructive criticism.