Notes:
▪ Inspired by Persona x Detective Naoto by Natsuki Mamiya.
This story is a Persona x Detective Naoto remix, a different spin on the events depicted in the light novel and manga. Though characterization may differ from it, this story aims to be true to the original work, as well as the Persona series as a whole—there will be very few contradictions. This being a remix, some scenes will be similar to what happens in the light novel. I have permission from the translator to use her lines verbatim, but this will rarely happen.
One thing: though this story only has four chapters, these chapters are divided by days, which may be posted individually. I apologize for any confusion this might cause!
Many thanks to my dear friend Angevon, who took to proofreading this; to Jean, who helped with my research with saintly understanding; to Riss, who inspired and encouraged me to write; to Arietide, a constant shoulder to lean on and let loose; to Chibity, whose designs might be used in later chapters; and finally, to azurillturtle, who diligently translated the entire light novel in her blog, which goes by the same name, and graciously answered my e-mails.
I hope you enjoy it!
MARCH 24, SUNDAY
TWO IN HARMONY SURPASSES ONE IN PERFECTION. That was the guiding principle of the Kirijo Group, which I had investigated one year prior. These poignant words for some reason came to my mind as I reached for my cell phone, carelessly left on the other side of the table. I'd have the same knee-jerk reaction whenever it rang, and this time was no different.
I'd been busy all day looking over a list of possible commissions from the police, having earned much good will since undertaking a certain job—no longer did they treat me like a tool to be used and then discarded, though many would still act condescending thanks to my age; more importantly, though, setting conditions such as that my school life must not be affected, something beyond consideration for me before, actually made the police better consider the cases they would ask for my help with. Yosuke-san called this playing hard to get and likened the police force to a bashful girl, earning him a few disparaging comments and a swift kick to the gut from Chie-san, who afterwards admitted that he had a point.
These fond memories were the reason why, upon listening to the voice mail from my friend and classmate Rise Kujikawa, I immediately cancelled all my plans for that day.
"Naoto-kun!" she had cried in a desperate voice. "I need your help… please, it has to be you."
Of course, that was not the full extent of the message—immediately after, she specified her location, albeit somewhat vaguely—but it was all I needed to know. I headed to YAGOKORO CITY.
My name is Naoto Shirogane, the 5th generation in the Shirogane lineage of detectives. To put it simply, becoming a detective had been my aspiration ever since I was little, and remains my proudest achievement to this very day. I was taught by my grandfather, at first simply assisting him in his cases and later solving some myself. Dedicating my time wholeheartedly to the job, I soon came to be regarded as a genius child and coined the Detective Prince, but in truth, my purpose was lost to me somewhere along the way. I became embittered at the treatment the police would give me despite my contributions, and considered my age, as well as one other thing, obstacles to my dream. That changed when I moved to the countryside town of INABA to help solve a case involving a particularly uncanny string of murders. I made friends with a group dedicated to solving the murders when the police proved ineffective, and the fog of deceit was lifted from my heart.
That sounds rather strange, doesn't it? Regardless, I would ever be grateful to my friends, my very first friends, for saving me from the pain of loneliness and helping me face my true self.
Those thoughts all occurred to me as I arrived at the place specified by Rise-san, a leisure resort on the outskirts of the city. I'd heard of it before; apparently, once inside you could get a taste of summer during winter and vice-versa. Rise-san being in such a place was par for the course considering she was an idol, but what could the emergency be? Everyone leaving the building seemed content enough, and nothing pointed to a disturbance inside…
I had been watching the place for a few minutes already, my hand reflexively reaching for my flank every now and then, as touching the hard spot where my revolver was concealed made me feel at ease, but there seemed to be no immediate danger. I steadied my breath, running over the possibilities in my head, and decided that the best course of action would be to move inside.
Upon taking my forward, however, I was accosted by several men and women, all of whom told me Risette was waiting and led me to a room further in. Once there, Rise-san, whose only attire was a rather immodest bikini, immediately ran up to me and started unbuttoning my coat.
My heart was racing, and so was my mind. I was very briefly glad to see her safe, but had already come to a conclusion concerning her so-called emergency. I clenched my fists, not really listening to what she was saying. The background chat was much more interesting, seeing as the men and women who escorted me were commenting on how they were all fooled by my appearance at first and some were clearly handling cameras.
I pushed Rise-san away in a flash of anger. She tossed my coat aside and put her hands on her hips while pouting. "Hey, watch it!" she said, as though lecturing an insolent child.
I composed myself and adjusted my tie, which she had tried to remove. "Rise-san," I said carefully, not quite managing to keep my voice steady. "Did you call me here to fill in as a model?"
"You got it!" she said cheerfully. "Kanamin couldn't come, so will you help me?"
Kanami Mashita was the idol that rose in Risette's absence. Rise-san was wearing a bikini and there was an entire artificial beach right behind her. I had been called to fill in for a famous idol in a photo shoot… sadly, the absurdity of the situation did nothing to calm me down.
"Did you expect me to sigh and go along with this?"
"Naoto-kun, come inside first!" Rise-san said loudly and dragged me into the changing room by the wrist. There, on the table, was a black leather bikini even more immodest than the one she was wearing. Though it was quite beautiful, my face flushed red the moment I realized that was what she meant for me to wear. "When I saw that model, I thought it would look perfect on you."
Rise-san was still holding on to my arm, which was beginning to tremble.
"Rise-san, how much free time do you think I have?" I asked, my voice wavering even more than earlier. "That message, your tone… I thought you were in danger, but it was nothing but a ploy."
Rise-san looked guilty already, so I refrained from saying that I had come all the way from Inaba just to help her. Then again, maybe I should have.
"Naoto-kun," she started, then paused, but only for a brief moment. "Kanamin really couldn't come, and I thought you'd look cute in these. Why are you so upset? You're called the Detective Prince and usually pretend you're a boy, but you're definitely a girl, so you should look the part, because girls look like girls, and girls act like girls. There's nothing weird about that."
I briefly turned my gaze away. I had let my hair grow in the past few months—in fact, it was past my chest line already—precisely because of the reasons she listed. But…
"This is not about my gender!" I yelled in frustration, and pulled my arm away from her.
Rise-san seemed startled. "Naoto-kun?"
"Do you think Yukiko-san would have been comfortable in this situation? Would you have done this to her, would you have faked an emergency to get her to come?"
I didn't wait for an answer. Rather, I was already halfway outside the room by the time I finished shouting my questions. I shoved a confused cameraman to the side as I stomped my way out of the building and to the nearest train station. I hadn't felt that angry in quite a while.
To be honest, it was not the first time that arguing with my friends felt like arguing with my own Shadow. This kind of situation happened often, and usually they would sway me into whatever scheme they thought would make me more comfortable with being a woman.
During my recovery from being thrown into the TV world, I thought long and hard about how to proceed, and the answer I came up with was that, while there were certainly aspects that needed improving, I was satisfied with the person I was. That was when I decided to simply keep doing what I had been doing, and showed up to school the next day in the same male uniform. I was more comfortable with that, even though the rumors were already circulating. I had since advanced to a point where, every now and then, I could go without binding around my chest, but even though it was painful, I still…
Just then, a comment from one of the commuters around me caught my attention. "Whoa, is that boy carrying a gun?" he asked, loud and clear, and several others followed.
I had been walking around without my coat, with my shoulder holster and gun in plain sight. While I had a license to carry a gun, and most of the time mine simply used pressurized pellets, it was still awkward to be seen with it when I looked so young. I rushed back to the resort.
About ten minutes had passed. On the way back to the building, I realized that the photo shoot would have to be cancelled thanks to me, and felt incredibly guilty. Perhaps I had been too harsh with Rise-san, when she was simply trying to turn a bad situation around and help me at the same time. I sighed. That was very much like her, but part of me couldn't help but be upset. Rise-san had considered neither my feelings nor my work when she put her plan in motion, and the last thing she had said to me implied that she disapproved of the way I currently lived. Despite the plethora of uncomfortable situations my friends had put me through, that was a first.
I dejectedly opened the door to the studio and felt the gush of hot air coming over me once again. I decided to quickly go to the changing room, grab my coat and leave, ignoring the stares of the camera crew. Rise-san was nowhere to be seen, so I could only assume she had gone home.
There was someone inside the changing room, however… a very familiar figure.
"Oh, perfect timing," said the woman holding my coat, a confident grin on her face.
I recognized her almost immediately: Touko Aoi, a detective just like me. That was what I would have liked to think, at any rate… to me, she would always be leagues above.
Touko-san looked as beautiful as ever. She was a tall and slender woman in her early thirties, almost wearing her brown hair up in a ponytail. Despite her age, she used little to no makeup and was not one for jewelry except for an amethyst pendant which had been with her since our first encounter, most likely a precious keepsake, and… oh, I apologize. I am not prone to admiring a person in such detail, but Touko-san was special: she was someone I strived to be.
Touko-san was always on equal footing with anyone she chose to, whether they were hardened criminals, hardboiled colleagues or disgruntled higher-ups.
"This is yours, right?" she said, holding out my coat to me. I took it from her hands and put it on before she could comment on my gun in plain sight.
"Touko-san," I finally managed to say. "The last time we met… it was on a crime scene three years ago. This chance meeting of ours seems highly unlikely, to put it mildly."
Touko-san chuckled in response. "This place is in our jurisdiction, you know. I could have simply heard you were around and dropped by."
Despite her remarkable poker face, that would have fooled no one. I knew she disliked bustling places, especially ones as unnecessary as that resort, and during an idol photo shoot, no less. I was, at least, glad that my incredibly rude greeting did not turn her away.
"Touko-san, I was here for about five minutes. I've been in town for thirty minutes at the most. You would need a good reason to come to a place like this as fast as you did."
"I see nothing escapes you," she said, laughing. "Naoto, you haven't changed."
I couldn't help but laugh as well. "You haven't changed either."
Touko-san brazenly walked out of the changing room, and I had no choice but to follow. It seems the camera crew thought she was an actress, so all eyes were on us. I felt a pang of guilt in my chest when someone mentioned Rise-san would be returning shortly. I was ditching her once again… still, whatever Touko-san had to say to me sounded important.
"As you've probably deduced by now, this is about a case," she said on the way out. "I have an official request for the detective Naoto Shirogane from the Yagokoro Police."
Touko-san smiled and started laying out the details of the case before I could even begin to protest. I sighed, but listened closely. There had been a number of disappearances in the area; more specifically, two students from Yagokoro High had disappeared in succession.
I frowned. That was suspicious, but it did not seem like the kind of case the police would request my cooperation for, and I told her as much. Touko-san then explained that, even though it had been a week since the disappearances, the police lacked any strong leads and, perhaps more importantly, were overworked pursuing another important case.
"Touko-san, wait just a minute," I managed to say. "You are acting as though I've already accepted. Please consider that I might not."
I couldn't deny that I was interested in the case and in helping out Touko-san, but that was my last year of high school. I had planned to take a break as a detective and prioritize spending time with my friends. Though, when thinking about that, my argument with Rise-san came to mind.
"Naoto, you know how I am, right? Do you honestly think I would allow you to refuse?"
The reply had been immediate.
I intended to respond with a bitter smile, but felt my brows furrowing instead. For the second time that day, my feelings were not being taken into consideration.
Touko-san paid no mind to my expression and smiled triumphantly. "There's something else, too," she said, turning only her head to me. "Naoto Shirogane is a detective, isn't she?"
Upon hearing those words, my emotions overcame me and my heart thudded furiously.
Yes. Naoto Shirogane was a detective. I'd reach out to the truth and bring peace to the hearts and spirits of the victims. That was my calling, and so I found myself nodding to Touko-san.
"I will wait for you in the police station, one week from now."
I was no match for her, and could only watch as she then crossed the street, leaving me in the dust. This, too, had happened in the past, but there was a new feeling now, a cold desperation coming from the depths of my heart. I had accepted the case and followed my calling, but felt no satisfaction from it, no smile forming on my lips. I felt as though in a cage.
MARCH 31, SUNDAY
I spent a rather bittersweet week in Inaba before heading back to Yagokoro. Rise-san did not call or message me, and was away on business as well. Though the latter was not unusual, we would always exchange messages during the night, and I worried that I had damaged our friendship beyond repair. I could not bring myself to call her, however. I thought about it, and even dialed the number once, but in the end, the days went by without contact between us.
The police had been handling all the necessary preparations, and I was fairly accustomed to travel, so my departure on March 31 was quick and quiet. I would be enrolling in Yagokoro High as a transfer student and living in the dorms, the latter a decision that was made for me, bringing about some resentment, as a hotel room would have served me just fine. I hoped to solve the case and return to Inaba as soon as possible.
Inaba citizens referred to Yagokoro as a big city, but in truth, it had no more than 400,000 inhabitants—the big city vibe came from its many commuters, and there was a distinct gap between the modern buildings close to the station and the residential areas. I had visited it many times, but always on some business or another, and so I'd never paid any attention to the feel of the city on more than a technical level. I decided I would do just that on the way to the police station.
There were a great many cars crowding the roads. Accordingly, the traffic had come to a complete halt. Career women and salarymen carrying suitcases busily walked to and from the station, and teenagers enjoyed their last day before school. The side roads, in stark contrast, were almost deserted, painting an unfavorable picture regarding the recent disappearances. I made a mental note out of every suspicious location I came across, and soon after arrived at the station.
The police station was a quaint Taisho era building completely at odds with the surrounding skyscrapers, though the streets forming the intersection where it was located were lined with cherry trees, adding to the dissonance and making for a surprisingly charming combo.
I went inside. Regarding the atmosphere, it was the usual hustle and bustle, with a great number of phone calls in the background and many people running around. Touko-san was an assistant inspector, a member of the Criminal Investigation Bureau, so she would not be around street level. I'd heard she was being considered for promotion, too, though her current position was already somewhat prestigious considering the circumstances. I approached a nearby policewoman and inquired about her location.
The policewoman regarded me with an expression best described as skeptical, but managed to keep her voice even as she asked, "Who might you be?"
"Ah. I am the detective Naoto Shirogane." I'd gotten used to walking around Inaba, where everyone would always recognize me. It was only logical that a larger precinct such as the Yagokoro Police Department would have more important matters to concern themselves with.
"Detective Prince?" came the non-reply from the policewoman, bringing the whole station to a complete halt. …I would strive to maintain a more pessimistic outlook in the future.
Soon, all the eyes previously focused on important work were set on me. Unflattering comments reached my ears from all sides, while the young policewoman, previously composed and suspicious, pulled my hand into a frantic handshake and whispered:
"Naoto-san, the truth is, everyone in my family is a fan of yours. Oh, myself included," she added in a conspiratorial tone. I could only stare blankly at her.
The fact that she was whispering confirmed that most of the Yagokoro Police did not see me in a positive light. I'd imagined things had progressed on that front. I suppose working with groups such as the National Police Agency and the Shadow Operatives did not do much for my reputation among the regular police force, I thought to myself and took a deep, resigned breath.
Just when she was starting to prod me with questions, a man loudly cleared his throat right behind the policewoman. Judging by her startled reaction, he was her superior.
"Hey, you…" the man said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "I might be wrong, but weren't you supposed to be on duty right now?"
I quietly stepped back.
"Please excuse me," said the policewoman, respectfully bowing her head one last time before going away. I had a feeling I would be seeing her often in the coming days.
The man introduced himself as the assistant chief and cut right to the chase. "Aoi mentioned you'd be coming. Right now, she should be at the fifth basement floor."
I was surprised that such an old-fashioned building would go so far underground, but did not comment on it. I'd had a good first impression of the assistant chief—he had started rambling about a man called Tetsuma Tsuge, supervisor of the Special Forensics Division, and was telling me about how he had come to the station from the outside, yet immediately started placing absurd demands, such as requesting permission to set up a laboratory in the basement and wanting all the doors leading up to it to be on keycard access. Though the assistant chief was technically leaking info, this indicated a certain degree of trust which I greatly welcomed.
The assistant chief led me to a fairly new mechanical sliding door, opened it with a keycard so as to demonstrate the apparently insanity of the man he'd described, and told me to hit the elevator to get to level B5, advising me not to stay there too long.
"One last thing, Shirogane," he said suddenly, for some reason checking his surroundings very carefully. I wondered what else he could have to tell me. "The truth is, my wife and daughter are fans of yours, so do you think you could give me your autograph later?"
I smiled. I could only smile at the assistant chief, bashfully scratching the back of his head after handing me a blank card. I promised him I would sign it once my business there was done.
To be honest, I had never handed out autographs before. I was too worried about looking cool and aloof, and would not concern myself with such childish frivolities. I did not want to be seen as a celebrity or even as a genius, but rather as a fellow detective. But the assistant chief had helped me out of an uncomfortable situation and, to an extent, treated me as one of their own; surely there was no harm in indulging in his request, was there? I would at least entertain the thought.
I pressed the call button for the elevator and waited a few minutes before realizing the display above the door was suspiciously stuck on B5. The most likely explanation was that they were loading cargo into the elevator; it was unnecessary large, taking up the entire wall at the end of the corridor. Considering the size of the station, I could not envision such a large elevator packed full of people, but despite reaching the logical conclusion, my apprehension only grew stronger.
I ended up taking the stairs, two steps at a time. There was something about that situation that did not sit right with me. What was the Special Forensics Division? Tetsuma Tsuge seemed to be an overly cautious man—as the assistant chief had said, every door on the way down was locked on keycard access, meaning you could only get to level B5 unauthorized via elevator or by taking the stairs from the ground floor. This degree of security was usually reserved for arms lockers, making me wonder just what they were hiding, as well as its relationship to the case I had accepted.
For several minutes, the relaxing sound of my own footsteps was the only BGM. I'd thought it weird that, even at my pace, it was taking me a long time to reach level B5—either there was more than one floor per flight of stairs, or the floors themselves were unusually tall; honestly, my impression of the police station was starting to become rather warped.
Then, it happened. The previously well-lit staircase fell into darkness as a tremor shook the whole building. I instinctively reached for my gun. I had only the faint red emergency lights to guide me now, but my destination remained the same.
Voices echoed from below. I could not make sense of what they were saying, but the urgency in their tone was evident. I could, however, distinguish one word: Genesis. The voices were shouting it constantly, and it seemed to be the cause of the commotion. Soon afterwards, a mass of people in lab coats passed by me, evidently fleeing from the scene. I stopped one of them.
"What is going on?" I asked, holding his arm tightly.
The man looked at me as though I was a dangerous object and wasted no time in answering: "Genesis is going berserk! You should get out of here, too."
Satisfied by his answer, I released my grip, and the man climbed up the stairs at full speed.
I was finally getting a clear picture of the situation. The man had confirmed two of my suspicions. First, that Genesis was indeed the cause of the commotion and was something that could act—after all, it would be unable to go berserk otherwise. It was most likely a machine or creature capable of independent thought. Second, that the people in lab coats were scientists not directly affiliated with the police force. I had a fairly weak grip. I might have resented it, but it was the truth. The fact that my weak grip was able not only to stop but to intimidate the man meant that he was not used to physical confrontations, matching his scrawny physique. Thus, it was highly unlikely that he was a police officer. Considering this Genesis currently going on a rampage, it was also unlikely that he was a forensic scientist. I could be jumping to conclusions, but it seemed more and more likely that the Special Forensics Division was a cover for something else entirely.
Touko-san, why did you call me here?
I would find the answer soon. I had arrived to the bottom of the stairway and was facing a dreary stainless steel door not unlike the ones seen in morgue cabinet freezers. I could hear loud roars coming from the inside, but opened it without pause. On the other end of the corridor were double steel doors much larger and thicker than the one I had just opened, one half bent with blows from the inside and the other lying on the ground; the other side of those doors were much in the same state, and it became clear to me that Genesis was not going berserk, but rather, was trying to break out. I took a few steps forward, and could at last see it: a large, black figure looking down on a woman. "Touko-san!" I yelled in surprise, but she did not hear me.
I could hear what she was saying very clearly, however.
"You dare raise your hand against me, you impertinent brat?" I'd heard that tone of voice before. That was, without a doubt, Touko-san, and it followed that the large figure was Genesis, so I tried to take a closer look. It was shaped like a human, albeit a fairly stout one; it completely dwarfed Touko-san in both height and width. There were wheels behind its legs—a robot, perhaps?
I took a single step forward in an attempt to find a better vantage point. That was the moment when it turned its head towards me. I felt it immediately, the intent to kill coming from its eyes, bright red like laser pointers. Genesis had a human head, a male one at that, and its torso was also rather human, dressed in a large black vest; however, its red arms and legs were extremely bulky and obviously mechanical. That name, and those features, brought to mind…
…!
Genesis charged at me at incredible speed, bouncing from wall to ceiling as a red and black blur. I immediately switched gears and rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding being hit, and pointed my gun at him. There was no time for hesitation. This machine was out to kill me, and I had to defend myself, even though I was friends with two like him. I fired.
Surprisingly, he jumped to the ceiling and avoided the bullet entirely, but I was quick enough to adjust my aim and shoot one more time. This one was right on target, but Genesis seemed unaffected. I resisted the urge to empty the magazine into him, instead opting to shout a warning to Touko-san. That moment of hesitation was all it took.
Genesis charged at me from the ceiling and pinned me to the ground. I could feel the weight of his body crushing the marble floor, and his cold fingers were one step away from snapping my neck. I would normally be able to get out of such a hold, but not against an enemy like that. Genesis was holding my arm down, my gun was out of reach… there was nothing I could do. I was, for the first time in quite a while, fearing for my life. The last time had been… it had been inside the TV world, before I obtained my Persona. Persona, my other self, a manifestation of my psyche and a repressed side of me, tamed.
I was able to summon a Persona.
For a long time, I thought it was impossible to summon a Persona outside the TV world, but meeting Mitsuru Kirijo, leader of the Shadow Operatives, changed everything. The incident one year prior proved that there were many Persona-users out in the world, and though some used special technology to summon their other selves, it was possible to do so without it.
I had to think. Kirijo-san and the others used something called an Evoker, a tool that looked like a gun. I had received one from her as a gift, but did not carry it around, deeming it unnecessary to my everyday life, though that wasn't exactly the truth... see, you had to point the Evoker to your head and shoot to summon a Persona, actions which went against every instinct in my body.
I was having trouble breathing. Genesis was trying to strangle me, though he was being slow about it considering his strength. That thought made me even more desperate.
Why did the Evoker look like a gun? Why were such actions required to summon your Persona outside the TV world? The key was mental stress. Kirijo-san had said you could summon your Persona by concentrating, but your awakening—your very first summoning—would most likely be caused by mental and perhaps even physical stress and a strong resolution.
I closed my eyes and envisioned a card, the blue card I could so easily manifest inside the TV world. That card was my Persona, and my resolution was this: to survive.
I opened my eyes. The corridor, previously illuminated only by the few emergency lights the android hadn't destroyed in his rampage, was now covered in a bright blue fog. Genesis was still pinning me down, so I was unable to turn my head up and see it, but I could feel it, a presence that filled me with confidence and power. Sukuna-Hikona, my other self.
Genesis briefly looked up. Though his expression was robotic, he seemed to know what Personas were. I needed to weaken him somehow. If my guess was right, he would be a fearsome opponent even to a Persona-user.
To my surprise, a wave of energy suddenly engulfed him. I could feel it emanating from my Persona. Sukuna-Hikona had responded to my thoughts. Was it a new power?
Genesis weakened his grip on my neck, allowing me to breathe normally once again. I tried to push his arm away, but even though his mechanical body was clattering, he was still too heavy for me to do anything. The only solution was to… huh?
I could suddenly move my head again; the weight of his arm had left me. I tried to look at my Persona, but my vision was blurry. I could faintly recognize his distinctive sword, and a trail of energy, but nothing more. I tried once more to push the arm away, and again to my surprise, it fell to the side and hit the ground with a loud thud. I immediately rolled from under him and recovered my gun, and only then took a good look at the situation.
Genesis screamed with pain as my eyes widened in shock.
Sukuna-Hikona had… my Persona had severed his arm.
There was something wrong with my Persona. Now that the threat had passed, it was obvious. I felt danger emanating from him, and my eyes wouldn't focus on his figure even though I was no longer dizzy. "What is this feeling?" I murmured, clutching my chest.
"I am thou, and thou art I."
I heard the voice from the depths of my mind.
Then, a different voice, a childish voice… my own voice. "But, would you look at that, you're even less sure of what you are than before."
There was a sudden shift in the atmosphere. The corridor itself became indistinct to my eyes, but I could finally see my Persona, or rather, his previous self, a being which I had thought I would never lay my eyes upon again: my Shadow, half-human and half-machine, neither man nor woman, hovering above the blurry and motionless Genesis, which seconds later faded from view alongside the entire room. "What in the world is this?"
The answer came to me instinctively. I was in the realm between consciousness and unconsciousness, the sea of my soul.
I felt the urge to pinch my arm, but resigned myself to merely blinking. During that single instant, my Shadow reverted into the same form it had used to confront me almost two years earlier. Short hair, bright yellow eyes and an oversized scientist attire. I remembered it well.
"You've changed," my Shadow said with an amused smile.
"If so, then that means you have changed as well," I replied.
"I suppose so," my Shadow said in a contemplative tone.
I closed my eyes for a moment. To be acknowledged by one's Shadow was a strange experience, but I felt that was only the beginning. When I opened my eyes again, it had changed its form to my current self… apart from the longer hair and a slight increase in height, not much was different, though I had stopped wearing my blue cap and cardigan coat in favor of an overcoat or plain business suits, changes which my friends had deemed strange. Of course, the Shadow lacked my silver eyes and wore a vicious expression I'd never want to mimic.
There was only one question I wanted answered: "What happened?"
"Ah, right to the point," my Shadow said. I noticed it had dropped the childish mannerisms entirely and was speaking in a tone much closer to my own. "You called for me. That part should have been quite evident, but it has been a while, hasn't it?"
"Almost a year, I believe." I was making small talk with my own Shadow… in truth, it might have been because I was dreading what would inevitably come next.
"Yes, and a year is a long time; none of us can remain in stasis forever. Those were your words to your precious senpai, correct?"
I nodded, somewhat hesitantly. Those had been my words, indeed, but seconds earlier I had been musing about how little I had actually changed. I could already spot the thread my other self was going to pick on, and it made me extremely anxious.
"I am you. Therefore, we both go through the same changes. Sukuna-Hikona became unsuited to serve as your mask; your current resolution fails to sustain him."
"To survive?" I asked, remembering my thoughts as I summoned him, but the Shadow shook its head. From that, I could infer that he meant a deeper resolution.
What was my current resolution? I could remember embracing my love for mysteries and desire to help people, deeming them more important than seeming aloof, but that, too, had been…
"To become a woman," the Shadow interrupted my thoughts, and I took a step back.
That was my resolution?
"You might not have realized it, but I have, because I am you," the Shadow said, calmly stroking its hair. "This was an accident, was it not?"
"No," I answered firmly. "I let it grow out because I wanted to."
"I see. Then, it was a decision you made of your own accord?"
I hesitated. "I… my friends encouraged me."
"Your friends have encouraged you a great deal towards your goal," the Shadow said with perverse glee. I feared it would come to this.
"Yes, they are supportive, as friends should be." An honest sentiment, but not an honest answer by any means; the Shadow grimaced.
"Shadows and Personas are two sides of the same coin, just as you and I are one and the same. Do you intend to deceive yourself once again?"
I knew what it was talking about. Rise-san, and Yosuke-san before that. Teddie, Yukiko-san and even Chie-san… they had all done it at some point.
"You are desperately afraid of losing your precious friends," the Shadow continued, now wearing a bitter expression. "Those who accepted you when you needed it the most, those who helped you overcome your hardships, and you theirs.
But you've come to realize that the person they accepted… was not you.
You vowed to be true to yourself, because no one would accept you otherwise! You tried more and more to become a woman, just as you had once tried to become a man and an adult. You gave in to their unreasonable ploys in hopes that it would make you accept what you had been denying for so long, and in doing so, you achieved precisely the opposite: you came to deny me."
One year earlier, I had been told that the human heart was frail, and its weaknesses were never truly vanquished. Given the opportunity, it could betray you and return to darkness. I had never given much thought to those remarks, yet they were coming true before my very eyes.
"Quite ironic," said my other self, walking towards me. I could not deny that, much like in the past, there was truth to its words. "Tell me now, are you a man or a woman?"
"Things are not that simple! I can… my preferences are not mutually exclusive with my gender," I argued, but in truth, my heart was not in it. I thought about how hard it had been, a mere week earlier, to push Rise-san away, even though her plan was absurd. Could she have been simply reacting to the image I was putting forward? I turned my gaze to the ground. I could not bring myself to look my Shadow in the eye when such thoughts clouded my mind.
My other self changed its form once again. I noticed its bare legs and immediately raised my head. This time, its hair was tied up in a ponytail, and it was wearing a daring black leather bikini. Though it took me some time to remember it, it was definitely the model Rise-san had picked out for me, the one I refused to wear. My heart was racing.
"Is this the new you, the true you?" my Shadow asked, fondling its exposed breasts.
I knew what would happen should I refuse to acknowledge it. I knew it, but still had to stop myself from saying the wrong words. I clutched my head; the pain was immense.
"You are me, so please…!" I pleaded, just barely keeping myself awake.
"Yes, I am you," my other self conceded, chuckling darkly, "but who are you?"
I blacked out.
On the way out of the realm between dream and reality, mind and matter, my other self continued to speak: "I shall give you one clue. Can you solve the puzzle, Detective Prince?"
I was drenched in cold sweat and breathing heavily. Genesis had stopped screaming and was slowly getting up, his sights still set on me. No more than ten seconds had passed.
Sukuna-Hikona was nowhere to be seen, but I knew it had not been a hallucination. My mind was calm, and one name was clear in my thoughts.
"Amatsu-Mikaboshi!"
Once again, a bright blue fog filled the corridor. I let the accompanying gust of wind wash over the despair I had been feeling moments earlier, and looked at my new Persona.
Amatsu-Mikaboshi… he was a dignified presence akin to a conductor, an elegant mess of spiral patterns and black lines over blue, white and red. Compared to my other Personas, he was both beastly and feminine, with wide hips and large shoulders, and a yellow pronged head that brought to mind a praying mantis. Amatsu-Mikaboshi, my one clue. I would use it well.
I directed my gaze to Genesis; at that very moment, a sharp noise filled the corridor, and my entire body started to tremble with each heartbeat.
I'd read about that strange feeling before… our Personas were resonating.
Genesis, who must have been more human than he seemed to have a Persona, stared at me in apparently disbelief. Our eyes met, his not as robotic as they had seemed before, and he unexpectedly ceased to function, going completely limp like a toy with dead batteries.
The battle was over. I fell to my knees, exhausted.
"Quick, restrain him!" a gruff male voice shouted, and several people immediately rushed into the room like ants. I did not bother to look at any of them. My senses were on overdrive; the sound of their footsteps was too loud, and even the darkness of my mind too bright.
"What was all that?" I heard one of them whisper.
"Genesis really is a failure, losing against a brat like that."
"Hey, you two, get back to work," said a voice that must have belonged to Touko-san, sounding upset. "Tsuge-san, reboot that oversized child as soon as possible, will you?"
"Got it," answered the gruff voice, apparently Tetsuma Tsuge. "Though, the boy really did a number on him... s'gonna take a while to fix his arm. How are we supposed to explain that?"
Touko-san scoffed. "Naoto was unexpectedly fierce, but it was still his own damn fault."
I raised my head to look at Touko-san. "You two, stop talking as though this was nothing more than an unfortunate accident," I said, too tired to measure my words.
Touko-san looked at me with a strange expression, but it was Tetsuma Tsuge that spoke first: "It was you that barged in here, boy—don't go blaming us for this!"
I glared at Tetsuma Tsuge, a stout man not unlike those populating detective fiction, with unexpected anger burning inside me.
"Touko vouched for your future, at any rate, so there was nothing to worry about."
"Touko-san?" I muttered helplessly. Vouched for my future? What could that mean?
"Naoto, when you are near me, what do you feel?" Touko-san asked.
That was an unexpectedly bold question, and one I was not prepared to answer. Touko Aoi was the woman Naoto Shirogane strived to be. She had been a role model for me ever since our first meeting many years earlier, proof that I could succeed as a detective, though I had never been able to measure up to her. I looked at Touko-san, the boastful and proud Touko-san, and…
Realized that my heartbeat was accelerating. There was a faint noise reaching my ears, the same noise that had filled the corridor minutes earlier, though lacking in intensity.
Then: "Answer, Kushinada-Hime."
…Touko Aoi was a Persona-user.
"I doubt there is any need for me to tell you what a Persona is, considering your flashy actions today," she said. Kushinada-Hime was a maiden clad in a green ballroom gown, with an elaborate hairstyle that brought to mind a sorceress. Rather unnervingly, she had a porcelain face only barely hinged to her head, leaving a large empty space and an eerie light where her eyes would have been. I realized her eyes were most likely the pair of goggles she had been gracefully holding in front of Touko-san. The image was strikingly similar to that of Rise-san and her Persona.
"I see. Through your power, you were able to vouch for my future. I assume your Persona is unsuited for battle, but has some sort of special ability?"
"As always, you are quick to grasp the situation." Touko-san seemed satisfied, and dispelled her Persona. "Kushinada-Hime has the power to see ten minutes into the future."
From her appearance, I deduced that the goggles Kushinada-Hime carried were how Touko-san was allowed to see ten minutes into the future, and immediately wondered just what was the extent of that power. What did she see through those goggles?
"When that brat went berserk, I immediately used my power, and saw that the three of us would be drinking coffee in the break room. That was eight minutes ago."
What a roundabout way of inviting me for coffee… still, I did need something to keep me up for the ensuing explanation. "I am eager to hear the details of this situation."
Touko-san and I headed for the break room while Tetsuma Tsuge bossed around a few of the scientists from earlier, complaining loudly that so much would need to be fixed before anyone came down. The interior of the room on the other side of the corridor was clearly a laboratory, and a rather stereotypical one, I might add, with countless digital gauges and strange devices spread around. I felt uncomfortable; it looked too much like my dungeon in the TV world.
Touko-san poured me a cup of coffee, but told me we needed to wait for Tetsuma Tsuge before she could explain anything to me. One minute later, he entered the room.
"Does this fulfill your prediction?" he asked after pouring his own cup and taking a sip.
"Yes," Touko-san said, seeming somewhat relieved. The evidence about her predictions being just that, and not entirely reliable, was piling up. "Naoto, does the name Kirijo ring any bells?"
"Stop dancing around the subject. That we both are Persona-users is too much to be a coincidence. You've looked into my past, so please, just get to the point."
Touko-san narrowed her eyes. I may have said too much, but truly, I was not in the mood for mind games after going through such a harrowing experience.
"Hey, we should leave this for tomorrow," Tetsuma Tsuge interjected. "Genesis should probably be present for this conversation, and you two need to rest. Especially you, boy. I dunno how much you know, but awakening to a Persona is s'posed to take you out for at least a week afterwards."
I wanted to argue, but it was true. I was exhausted… I'd briefly wondered what they had seen of my confrontation with my other self and found it too tiring to give further thought, which was completely against my nature and training as a detective.
My curiosity had been piqued as well. Genesis was obviously a Kirijo weapon… had the relationship between the police and the Shadow Operatives advanced so much in a single year that a regular police station could be equipped with a laboratory and old secrets? Kirijo-san had assured me that, though they had an active lab for maintenance purposes, the Kirijo Group no longer manufactured mechanical maidens. From this, as well as the fact that his design was rather clumsy and very obviously robotic, not to mention male, I could deduce that Genesis was an outdated model, perhaps a generation predating Labrys, though she was supposed to be the earliest surviving model. Regardless, the pieces were slowly falling into place.
Tetsuma Tsuge, who had demonstrated next to no surprise regarding my Persona and seemed to be in charge, was probably a former Kirijo researcher.
Smiling in quiet satisfaction, I conceded: "All right. Touko-san, Tsuge-san, I will come back here tomorrow morning, before classes start. I expect to hear the full story then."
I gulped down my coffee and left without saying another word.
I had much to ponder, but not enough energy to do so while moving. Therefore, my walk to the dorm was both uneventful and mechanical.
The police, not knowing the truth about my gender, had assigned me to a male dorm, a decision which, in hindsight, I was surprisingly comfortable with. The dorm was a tall building with large windows on the ground floor, located a train ride away from Yagokoro High. Upon entering, I was greeted by a responsible-looking elementary schooler who introduced himself as Tohru Momochi and offered to lead me to my assigned room on the third floor. I accepted, and we made small talk as we passed by several carefree teenagers on the lounge and stairs.
"This dorm houses all ages," he said, no doubt noticing my puzzled expression. "Though everyone calls it Yagokoro High, the school even has a kindergarten."
Yagokoro High was the only private school in the region, and very prestigious. That dorm was reserved to its students, then. "As expected, the elite private school fails to disappoint."
"Us elementary schoolers get the first floor, while middle schoolers get the second floor and you guys get the third. We sleep in bunk beds and shower together, but you lucked out—your room is single and even has a bathtub!"
…Perhaps the police had more hindsight than I'd given them credit for.
I looked at Momochi-kun, who was staring at me with a mix of resentment and admiration plain in his face, and sighed. "If you want to, you can use it. I will not be here very often."
While that was certainly true, I wanted him to refuse, since it was but a lighthearted courtesy. Unfortunately, I had yet to master the art of keeping my expectations at minimum.
"Really?" he asked, his eyes sparkling. Well, he seemed responsible enough, so I thought it would be ok. I nodded, and hoped no trouble would come of it.
Momochi-kun escorted me all the way to my room, which was at the end of the hallway, a very easy location to remember even though any would have been fine. I then realized that I had yet to ask him how he knew about me, and immediately did so.
"Kurogami-senpai told me you'd be coming. Our teachers haven't arrived yet, so she's stuck as our dorm mother for the time being. I think she's working now, though."
I exchanged goodbyes with Momochi-kun and entered my room, seizing my notepad from my coat. Kurogami… the name ringed familiar, yet I could not place it. I wrote it down for later reference, blaming exhaustion, and proceeded to lock the door.
Too much had happened in a single day… first and foremost, I had summoned my Persona in the real world through sheer willpower. Of course, we had all tried it at some point, but even Souji-senpai hadn't been successful. Kirijo-san told me that that was due to the fact that summoning your Persona inside the TV world was no more difficult than shifting your focus from the background to the foreground. On the outside, it was significantly harder unless you had a special power. I'd thought the comparison inaccurate at first. Kirijo-san was significantly more resilient than a regular human being. To her, who had spent years acting during a hidden hour in which only people with the potential to use a Persona could function, it followed that summoning a Persona in the realm reflecting the human heart would be easier, but to us it was still draining. That had been my reasoning, but now that I had actually summoned my Persona in the real world, I could see her point clearly. I would have to apologize to her later.
What else was there to go over? I slowly undid the bandages binding my chest while pondering. Touko Aoi was a Persona-user. I could scarcely believe it, but the power to see ten minutes into the future would explain her incredible confidence when dealing with criminals and difficult situations, as I had witnessed many times in the past. That she had looked into my past and specifically called me, a fellow Persona-user, did not bode well for the future.
Then, there was my suspicious awakening to consider. Sukuna-Hikona had acted strangely before revealing itself as my Shadow; it responded to my indirect thoughts and displayed a skill unfamiliar to me, namely the one that weakened Genesis. Upon summoning a Persona, you were instinctively made aware of its capabilities and potential… in hindsight, it was similar to the reaction I had felt from both Touko-san and Genesis, the feeling that could only be described as a resonance. Touko-san had a non-combative Persona, and the same feeling had emanated from Genesis, therefore that was likely the case with him as well. Reading resonances could prove useful when dealing with Persona-users in the future, so I wrote it down after changing into my pajamas.
In any case, it was strange that my Persona would use a skill unknown to me. Perhaps the reason behind that discrepancy was that I had summoned my Shadow from the start. If so, then why did it protect me, why did it respond to my thoughts at all? During our confrontation, it was not particularly hostile either—its cruel words were plain truth, not exaggerations like they had been in the past. If my heart had been going berserk, then would I have been able to awaken to an entirely new Persona? Amatsu-Mikaboshi was pointedly different from Sukuna-Hikona. There had to be some significance to its mythological origins and abilities.
That was the clue given to me by my other self.
The problem could not be that I was denying my Shadow. If that had been the case, it would not have assumed a new form. I outright said the words, but nothing happened… was it because, on some level, I did not believe them? Maybe it was more complicated than the usual. Facing yourself and accepting the truth was hard, but not knowing the truth at all was unfathomable.
I picked up my phone. Souji-senpai or Kanji-kun could help me solve this problem, the former being completely reliable and the latter having experience with problems that would not simply vanish upon accepting your other self. Though, all of us were like that to an extent.
"You are desperately afraid of losing your precious friends." Those were the words spoken by my other self, and they ran through my head before I could dial any numbers.
No, I decided. I had to solve the puzzle myself. I'd never noticed it, but perhaps I had been acting in an overbearing manner towards my friends. I recalled how quickly I would pick up the phone in hopes that it was one of them, now seeing it in an entirely different light. How come my Shadow had said all those things, when none of them had occurred to me?
Musing on that, I slowly drifted into sleep.