Coming Home

I don't own these characters. I just like to spend time with them. No other profit to be had.

CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH

"Next stop, Dodge City!" The conductor called as he walked through the cars. "Dodge City, next stop!"

Kitty sat stiffly staring out of the window at the passing scenery, trying hard to slow her pounding heart. "Dodge." She wasn't sure what to expect when she got there. What would things be like? Would it be the same as always, or would there be major changes. After all, she had been gone a year so just about anything could've taken place. People could've come and gone.

Kitty understood that. But she was hoping against hope that one thing, the most important thing, hadn't changed, hadn't left.

The train pulled into Dodge about an hour later. Kitty hesitated for a few minutes, gathering her courage, then rose, squared her shoulders and exited the train onto the platform. No one was there to greet her and she expected no one. She'd told no one that she was coming. Taking a deep breath of Dodge City air, Kitty smiled, remembering the night she'd mentioned that sort of thing to Matt. He's smiled in return and that had warmed her more than anything. Shaking off the memory, she set off towards town.

On the outside, things didn't appear to be too different. The bank, post office, hotel and general store and several other businesses were all where they were supposed to be and open for business, as they should be. The Long Branch was still there and still the best looking saloon in town from the street view alone. The stairs leading up to Doc's office were still there and Doc's shingle was right there hanging on the side of the building. She didn't look down towards the jail, but she had no doubt it was the same as well. Nothing, absolutely nothing was changed. Well, as far as she could tell.

Walking along the boardwalk, she hesitated when she reached the Long Branch. Closing her eyes, memories flooded her mind. She remembered when she'd first arrived in town, a young saloon girl, who knew no one, including the man she'd stayed there for. Bill Pence, who'd been the owner then, had taken a chance on her and she'd worked impossibly hard to make sure he never regretted that decision. He didn't and when she brought up the idea of becoming his partner, he was more than willing to let her.

She remembered the day she'd bought into the saloon and how Matt had been so happy for her. Of course, that memory also brought the one of her father trying to cheat her out of it. But, as always, since they'd connected, Matt had been there to comfort and help her.

Looking at the batwing doors, she thought of all the times he'd hesitated just outside the doors, peeking over and looking in before entering. She knew part of his reason for that was to look for trouble and be ready for it before he even entered. But she also knew his other reason. He was looking for her.

"Buy ya a drink?"

Kitty jumped when she heard those familiar words and quickly turned towards the voice. But the invitation wasn't meant for her or extended to her. It was simply from one cowboy to another. Stepping away from the door, she watched as they entered the saloon before turning away. She wasn't ready to go in there just yet.

Kitty looked down the street and decided that perhaps she would just wander around for a while. No one seemed to notice her as she walked, and she realized she liked that idea. She could observe without being bothered.

The mercantile seemed to be extremely busy so Kitty headed that way. As she walked, she remembered the time Festus had convinced Mr. Jonas and the other grocer in town to advertise in the new newspaper in town. The end result was two businessmen at each other's throat and a surplus of sugar at the Long Branch for a while.

She also remembered the day she and Chester, right outside the store, took on Groat the odious man that had whispered horrible things to her as to what he wanted to do to and with her. Although Chester had given it his all and she'd even taken to him with a scrub board, Groat had almost gotten the better of them before Matt had shown up.

Smiling at the memory, Kitty went in and looked around her. Things inside hadn't changed much. It looked like there was some new fabric in and she spotted a new catalog lying on the counter but most everything else looked the same. Without saying a word to anyone, she left the store and continued on her journey down the street.

Continuing down the street, she paused briefly in front of Percy Crump's Funeral Parlor, Undertaking and Furniture making enterprise. She remembered that awful night that Matt was taken there, at Doc's direction, after Mace Gore's men shot him. He hadn't really been dead but she hadn't known it at the time. And the pain and grief had been horrible.

Until that night, she'd never given much thought to the sad business Percy Crump was in. But she had always been grateful for the help he'd given not only Doc, but Matt as well in that matter. Seeing him come out of his business, she almost spoke to him, but he hadn't noticed her and he seemed in an awful hurry to go somewhere, so she merely stood aside. She planned on being in Dodge for a while. She'd catch him later.

Walking further down the street, she looked into the post office. There were a couple of people in line to gather their mail and she suddenly remembered Festus picking up everyone's mail one time and bringing it to them at the Long Branch. They, of course, had to exchange what he'd given them with everyone else for their own mail. Bless his heart; Festus had at least tried.

For the next couple of hours, Kitty continued to roam the streets of the town she'd called home for so many years. At many places, she'd pause and a memory would come to her regarding it. Like the watering trough, where she'd fallen in when fighting off the amorous advances of the buffalo hunter that had punched Doc, the day that horrid widow came to town.

Glancing at Delmonico's she remembered the first time she'd eaten there and the big man she spied across the room who'd convinced her, without a word to her, to give Dodge a chance. She smiled thinking of the many meals she and Matt had shared there, seldom alone and seldom uninterrupted. But alone or in other's company and no matter how brief, they'd been enjoyable.

The whole town, in truth, held memories for her. There wasn't an inch of it that she hadn't seen or been in. For the most part the memories were good but there were a few that were as bitter and painful as could be.

Memories like those that assailed her when she finally gathered enough courage to approach the jail. All too clearly, she remembered the many times she stood outside its doors and watched Matt ride off, knowing it could be the last time she ever saw him. She remembered going there, the night she'd had dinner with Billy Crit and asking for his help to stop the boy and leaving angry, when he wouldn't give it.

She remembered marching down there, wanting him to do something about Doc, when that horrid Dr. Betchel had showed up in town and was taking Doc's patient's away from him. Matt had done something then and she was proud of him for it. Or another time when she'd marched down there to tell him she was no longer going to look after young Cale for him, after the kisses the boy had stolen from her.

She thought about another day she'd marched down to the jail and stood angrily inside, telling Matt how sick he made her because he continued to make a target of himself even when it was clear someone was trying to kill him. Of course, that time, even though she was angry at him, she was also proud as well that he hadn't taken the cowardly way out and left town.

She remembered the night she'd gone to him, asking him to claim what she'd given him long ago, wanting him to tell her to say no to Will Stambridge. But he didn't and when she'd left the jail that night, she'd never been more heart sore.

Still, even in the jail, there had been some good memories. She remembered sharing Chester's awful coffee with Matt and stealing the occasional kiss when it was just the two of them there. Though normally a place of hardness, they had occasionally been able to find softness there too.

Shaking all that away, Kitty turned and headed back the way she came. There was one other place she wanted to visit before she finally made her way back to and inside of the Long Branch. When she reached it, she came to a dead halt on the boardwalk, allowing the memories, good and bad to wash over her.

She thought of all the times she'd rushed up those stairs to find someone she cared about, usually Matt, lying on Doc's table and fighting for life. With a quick intake of air, she remembered the few times she herself had woken up in Doc's office, hurt and scared to find the old man sitting beside her, watching and waiting. Matt was usually already gone, chasing after whoever it was that had hurt her. But that one time, the one time she really needed him to be there; he had been, holding onto her hand and her for dear life.

Kitty suddenly turned away from Doc's stairs as other, horrible memories of why she'd been up there, tried to invade her mind. She didn't want to remember that and with a will, she pushed it away, concentrating instead on other times she'd spent in Doc's office.

Time's she'd gone to him for advice, or headache powders for herself or one of her girls and they'd shared coffee. She remembered the time she'd gone up for those same powders to find Matt teasing Doc about Mrs. Prudlin's pills. Or the time she'd gone up to see if Doc would have supper with her, thinking Matt would probably be too busy, only to find Matt there, reading a book and trying to stay out of the jail while Chester cleaned. Or passing Chester on the stairs, while he held his side and clutched tightly to the pills Doc had given him for his indigestion.

She remembered working alongside Bess Ronniger taking care of triplets that Bess and her husband Will eventually adopted. Of course, it wasn't just babies, Kitty had helped with, up in those offices. She'd helped Doc nurse a many of his patient's, especially his biggest and most often patient, Matt.

Looking up those stairs, she also remembered being a young saloon girl sitting on the stoop at top, side by side with Doc, watching the world go by. And she remembered looking down into the bluest eyes and most handsome face she'd ever seen as he looked up at her, telling her how pretty she looked at night.

Deciding against going up those stairs, Kitty instead turned again towards the Long Branch, deciding it was finally time she went in.

When she once again approached the saloon, she smiled as she looked at the chairs sitting just outside the door. She remembered several nights where she'd gone outside and took a break in those very chairs. Leaving the cowboys, noise and smoke and clamor behind for a few moments while she rested her weary back and feet and occasionally caught a few quiet moments with Matt.

As she looked at the On Draught signs, beside the doors, she thought of the poor little man that had carved them before he'd first lost his hand and then his life. Sighing at the sadness of it, she squared her shoulders, raised her chin and finally moved forward, up the steps and through the bat wing doors of the building that been the only real true home she'd ever known.

Pausing just inside the doors, no one seemed to notice Kitty as she stood and took in the room. Just as it was outside, the inside hadn't changed much either. Of course, she wasn't sure why she was surprised. She'd only been gone a year. But that year had seemed like a million to her when, each day she awoke in someplace other than Dodge, other than home.

She was rather pleased as she looked around. Hannah had so far done a good job of taking care of the place just as she had done for so many years. The floor, though it would never be completely clean was in good shape, the bar and stair bannister were polished, the tables and chairs in good repair and the green felt, atop the tables, clean and unstained.

Spying a certain table, Kitty thought of all the times she and Matt, often joined by Doc, Chester, Festus, Quint, Thad or Newly would sit and talk, sharing a drink or a cup of coffee. Sometimes, little was said at all. But whether words were exchanged or not, the love and affection between all of them was always there.

Glancing up the stairs, she remembered walking down them to happily meet Matt at the bottom. Once, she'd worn a dress she'd saved a long time for, one that was extremely daring and drew the attention of every man in the place, except Matt's. When he finally did notice the dress, it was four months after she'd bought it. Shaking her head, she now grinned thinking of the guilty expression he'd worn. That memory brought others of dresses she'd had to point out to him.

Like the day he'd followed her up those stairs to her room, telling her how it was his job to go to Topeka and leave her there to go to the sociable with Doc and Chester. Oh, she'd been angry that day as she pulled dresses out of her wardrobe and calling them rejections. She hadn't wanted to go with Doc and Chester and she'd tried to explain that to him but he either didn't see it or didn't want to. Dropping her head, she remembered the impulsive choice she'd made in response to Matt, Doc and Chester's attitudes and the trouble that had come of that.

Pushing that particular memory aside, she looked around the room again. All too clearly, she could see Sam standing behind the bar, pouring a drink and ready to do anything he could to help and protect her. She missed that man a lot. Closing her eyes, she focused on the many memories that polished piece of wood held for her.

Times when she and Matt would lean against it and have a drink and talk over the day's problems or console each other for something that they'd gone through. Like the time she'd had to practically debase herself in front of her patrons in order to keep Billy Crit from getting himself killed. Or after that horrible night that she, Sam, Doc and dear sweet little Louie sat up all night with a gang of cutthroats while the leader of that gang tried to humiliate Louie by making him crawl across the floor. But Louie had showed him what a real man was.

She remembered saying once that there had been some roaring times in that bar and there had been. Gunfights, fistfights, arguments, sweet talk, loud talk and quiet whispers of love. People had died in that bar and more than one person was shot that didn't die, herself and Matt included. There had been big money made and lost and small money exchanged from one person to another in whiling away a hot afternoon over a game of cards.

She had changed from a saloon girl who did whatever she had to, in order to make a living, to a respected business woman who could hold her own with anyone and quite often did. She'd gone from the almost shy young girl, who loved a handsome young Marshal from afar to a bold woman who gave that man everything he asked of her, including her body and soul when he wanted it.

It was at the Long Branch that she and Matt had exchanged their first, furtive kiss and their last passionate night together. It was at the Long Branch that they'd had their first major fight and their last minor squabble. The Long Branch had born witness to just about everything that had happened to her in those nineteen years she lived there, good and bad alike. People had tried to burn it down and shoot it down and tear it down, but it still stood. Like its owners, former and present, it was tough.

Former owner. Those words were bitter to her. She'd never wanted to be the 'former owner'. She loved that saloon but she'd sold it and left in a moment of weakness and anger and grief. And now here she was, wishing she could go back and change that. Go back to being Kitty Russell, proud owner of the Long Branch saloon and acknowledged woman of Matt Dillon.

Closing her eyes again, she swallowed back bitter tears at its loss and despite the impropriety of it, cried out in agony. "Oh, God, I'm sorry."

"Kitty?" Matt's anxious voice sounded in her ears and desperately, she tried to open her eyes so that she could see him.

"Kitty?" He called again. "Honey, it's okay. It's okay. You're going to be alright. Doc?" Matt looked at Doc hopefully as the physician hurried in from the other room.

Doc quickly shuffled over to her side and took her wrist in his, checking her pulse then gently listening to her heart and checking her pupils. "She seems to be doing a little better, Matt." He smiled for the first time in three days. "I thought for a while there that…" Doc stopped and let out the breath he'd been holding. "She's doing better."

Kitty woke to the sound of birds chirping outside and Matt inside, sitting beside her, her hand in his and a worried look on his unshaven face. His clothes were rumpled as was his hair and he didn't look like he'd had sleep in a long time.

"Matt…?" Her voice was soft and raspy and the mere acting of saying his name caused her a fit of coughing.

Quickly, Matt reached over and retrieved a glass of water from her bedside table and held her head so she could sip at it. "It's okay, honey." He smiled, so happy to see her awake. "Just take it easy. You're going to be alright."

Kitty looked curiously at him for several moments before trying again to speak. "Al… right?"

"Yeah," Matt nodded. "You've been awful sick, honey. You were hurt. We weren't sure if you'd make it or not."

"Well, he wasn't." Doc grinned as he entered the room and came over to the bed, after hearing them speak. "But I knew with my excellent skills as a physician you'd pull through just fine."

Kitty looked at both men with a frown. She didn't understand what they were talking about. "Sick?" She coughed again, only lighter this time and Matt gave her another sip of water. When she felt like she could, she spoke again. "I got sick after I came back?"

Doc and Matt exchanged glances before Doc bent down and checked her temperature. "Well, your fever's gone, so it's not that."

"It's not… what?" She was now more than ever confused. "What…" She coughed again, even lighter this time and struggled to sit up. "What…"

"Now, Kitty, don't." Doc shook his head at her. "You've been an awful sick little girl and I will not have you making yourself worse. So you just lie back there and rest. You hear me?"

Giving up the struggle, Kitty complied with his request to lay back but she wasn't about to rest until she understood what was going on. "Tell me… what happened." She demanded to know. "How'd I get here? Why am I here?"

"Well," Doc took a scrub of his mustache. "For heaven's sakes, Kitty. You were hurt. Where else would you be other than in your bed?"

"My bed?" She questioned, looking around her for the first time and realizing it was her bed, her room and her things she saw. "But… but how?" She looked back at the two men before her. "Did Hannah send me my things?"

"Hannah?" Both men questioned in unison.

"Kitty, who is this Hannah? What are you talking about?" Matt asked.

"Hannah!" Kitty restated as though it was obvious. "The woman I sold the Long Branch to… a year ago."

"Sold the…" Matt stopped and again looked up at Doc, worry clearly written on his face. "A year ago?"

Doc smiled in understanding. "Kitty, you didn't sell the Long Branch."

"But I did." She insisted. "I sold it to Hannah and I moved back to New Orleans. I only came back here because Hannah told me Matt was hurt and maybe wasn't going to make it. She said…" Kitty suddenly looked back over at Matt, seeing exhaustion on his face but no wounds on his body. "You… you're not…"

"No, Honey." Doc said kindly. "Matt wasn't hurt and you didn't sell the Long Branch and you've not been away from here, at least not physically. But you have been out of your head with delirium for the last few days. You dreamed all of that."

"No…" She wet her still dry lips. "No. I was gone, Doc." She tried to convince him before turning pleading eyes to Matt. "I'm sorry I left, Matt." Her voice was choked with tears. "When you took your badge back and your arm was still hurt, I lost it. I didn't want you to leave but when you came back, I thought you would quit for good. You know that. I couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't know what else to do. That's why I sold the Long Branch to Hannah and…"

"Kitty." Matt took her hand to calm her. "I have no idea what you're talking about. You never sold the Long Branch and I have no idea who this Hannah person is. And I never hurt my arm."

"No!" She shook her head adamantly. "Not hurt, shot. It was shot in the bank hold up, Matt." She was becoming very frustrated at the total look of confusion on both his and Doc's faces.

"Kitty," Matt sighed. "Honey, I was never shot during a bank hold up. You were."

Kitty's eyes widened and she looked at him and Doc in surprise. "Me?"

"Um, hm." He nodded. "Don't you remember?" Kitty shook her head. "Kitty, you and I were having coffee. You got up with your bank bag and were heading over there to make your deposit when you saw the new banker walk by. But you no sooner went out the doors of the Long Branch then a shot rang out. The next thing I saw was you falling back inside the saloon with a bullet in your stomach. You've been up here ever since."

Kitty glanced down, feeling, more than seeing, the heavy bandage across her middle. "I… I was…" She looked back up at Doc and Matt. "ME?"

"Yes. You." Doc answered with a soft smile. "Honey, you've been fighting for your life for a couple of days now. Until your fever broke a little while ago, you were delirious. I couldn't make out most of what you were saying, but you called Matt's name several times."

Kitty closed her eyes. She knew Matt and Doc wouldn't lie to her but it had all seemed so real. She could still see, in her mind, Matt being felled by those men and then his riding out and the bandits coming back for him and…

"Those men?" She looked at Matt. "They…"

"They're dead." Matt answered flatly. "I got two of them coming out of the bank; Festus & Newly got the others. They didn't get away and you were the only one they hurt."

"Yeah, and that was one too many." Doc put in as he turned for the door. "I'm going to get something to help you sleep, young lady, and when I do, that's exactly what I expect to happen. You're going to need all the rest you can get. Matt?"

"I'll get out of here in a minute, Doc." Matt told him and waited until Doc left the room before looking back at Kitty. "Honey, I don't know what all you dreamed while you were out, but I promise you, I wasn't shot in the arm and I didn't leave town or give up my badge and then take it back. I've been right here, worried to death about you. Believe me?"

Kitty nodded. "You wouldn't lie to me. I guess no matter how real it seemed; it didn't happen."

"Well, not all of it anyway." Matt gave her a sly smile.

"What do you mean?" Kitty frowned. "What really happened?"

"I did really give up my badge." Matt's smile widened. "Only, I didn't take it back and I don't intend to. I contacted the War Department and recommended Newly for the job, with his approval. As of late last night, I am officially retired as a US Marshal."

"You are?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Matt, you… you quit?"

"I did." He confirmed. "I realized as I watched you struggle for life, again, that I couldn't do this anymore. I don't know what the future holds, but it's gotta be better than that. And when you're better, I think we ought to discuss our future, yours and mine."

"Together?" She was now beginning to wonder if she really had woken up and was perhaps still dreaming.

"That's my hope." Matt answered.

"And my hope is that my patient will take her medicine without protest and get some rest." Doc stated as he re-entered the room. "And also that a certain retired citizen will go take a bath and get some sleep himself." He looked pointedly at Matt. "Get my hint?"

"I get ya, Doc." Matt sighed as he gave Kitty's hand a soft tug before releasing it and getting to his feet. But before moving away from the bed, he leaned down and softly kissed Kitty on the lips. "We'll talk later, Kitty, when you feel better. But in the meantime, I want you to think about us together, without a badge or a saloon between us. Okay?"

Kitty swallowed hard and nodded as she watched Matt turn and leave the room.

"Here." Doc presented her with a glass of murky looking liquid. "I want you to drink this and then close your eyes and sleep."

Kitty accepted the glass but before drinking looked back up at Doc. "Doc, was I really shot?"

Doc nodded. "Um, hm, and we weren't sure you'd make it. I'll tell you the truth. Matt was scared, really scared. It made him really evaluate what he wanted in his life and for once, his badge came up the loser."

Kitty listened without comment, not sure what to say or even think. She didn't remember being shot. She had been so certain, so sure that it was Matt that had been shot and she'd sold the Long Branch and left when he wouldn't give up the badge. And yet the reality of it was, the entire year, she thought she'd been gone from Dodge, had actually been a dream.

After swallowing the contents of the glass and letting Doc take it from her, she sank back against her pillow, unable to do anything more but close her eyes and thank the man above that it had been a dream and the future that was sure to be a reality with be with Matt.

The End.

AN: Yep, you are correct. In my view, all of season 20 was a dream and in the S19 episode, The Disciple, Kitty was shot not Matt, and dreamed up S20 in a state of delirium. Makes so much more sense to me this way.