A/N:: Okay so I'm totally obsessing over EENE, South Park, and BMS. This is going to be kind of a mixture of the three. The vamp kids and Goths from South Park, EENE characters, and the theme being college football and other college crazy things. If no one has seen BMS (Blue Mountain State) I highly recommend it. It's seriously hilarious. I do hope everyone enjoys the story. I will be updating everything Wednesday or Thursday. Reviews are great to keep me going. Lulu and Chima are my own characters, Nathan Goldberg belongs to c2ndy2c1d. I do not own EENE, South Park, or BMS. I'm really sorry but I know nothing about football, so just bare with me on a few things.
Eddy sucked in the fresh air as he got out of the car, "Here we are Lumpy, Blue Mountain State University." Ed was busy searching through his pants and jacket making sure he got everything. He looks around, "So…where do we go?" Eddy started looking around and shrugged. They walked the grounds and finally found their dorms. It was small but the rooms were big and really nice. Lucky for Eddy, Ed was his roommate so this was going to be an awesome year. Once they unpacked, they set up the PS4 and turned on C.O.D Black Ops 3, "Shouldn't we go and explore the college, Eddy?" Ed opened a beer and took a big swig out of it, "I would really like to fight for that position for the mascot." Ed stared at the screen, shooting zombies and monster. Eddy was thinking while staring at the screen backing his friend up on the game, "You know Ed; good things will always comes to those who wait." Eddy smiled; he was already a part of the football team. Yeah he was short but he shot up to about 5'5" when he started high school. He was the backup quarterback for the team, which was pretty sweet, all he had to really do was just sit on the side line and wait for something to happen to the first quarterback, which was never going to happen. Eddy had it pretty easy, free pass at college because of the scholarship and he practically did nothing. The doorbell went off, Ed and Eddy looked at each other with questioning looks, and they both get up and open the door. Two girls in trench coats smile at them, "Hey does Eddy McGee live here." Ed and Eddy both answer, "I'm him." Eddy looks at his friend who continues to stare at the girls. The girls smile again, "We are here to welcome you to BMS." They take their trench coats off and reveal that they are wearing nothing but the panties, and breast exposed. Eddy grinned really big, "Oh you shouldn't have." Ed was rubbing his face and trying really hard to control himself, he wasn't as innocent like he was when he was younger. The girls pushed Eddy into his room and started kissing and touching him, one unbuttoned his pants and went down, "Ah, God thank you!" Eddy hollered.
Ed knocked on the door,"Eddy let me have one!" Ed was starting to unzip his pants. The girl that was riding Eddy shouted, "NO! Go away you creep." She looks down at Eddy, "What's his problem?" she continued to ride him and started picking up the pace. Eddy squeezed her ass and gave it a good slap, making her moan. The other girl was rubbing on his chest and kissing him, also helping her friend out, by play with her clitoris. Ed was jerking off on the other side of the door, "Hey I'm going to be a mascot. So I'm a part of the team." The girl and Eddy on the other side shouted, "NO!" Eddy was getting irritated, "Ed go away!" Ed whined and just stayed at the door jerking off.
Eddy was smiling big throwing his gear over his shoulder as he walked towards the building where the meeting was for the football team. Ed walked beside Eddy in his make shift goat mascot costume, "I wish you luck man." Eddy put up his first and Ed bumped it, "Same to you bro." They went their separate ways. Once he entered the building he was greeted by the new players and the first quarterback, "Sup McGee! You know bro; I hope you have a good year sitting on the benches, because you will have no chance to play this year." Eddy patted the guy on the back, "I sure will buddy. I'm looking forward to being your back up." He grinned and went off to find his locker, leaving the poor guy dumb founded. Eddy, finding his locker, opened it up and stuffed all his stuff in it, getting ready to head to the field, "Hey." He looked beside him and saw another new comer; the guy totally looked out of place. He gave the dude a grin, "What's up man, first day to?" The guy's expression didn't change, it just looked like nothing, he just had the blankest expression Eddy has ever seen, "Yeah. Name's Michael." He stared at Eddy while putting on his gear. Eddy was feeling extremely awkward at this point. The man had curly black hair and what looked like eye liner on and to top off the creepy aspect he was pale like super pale, like a ghost.
"ALRIGHT LADIES!" the guy yelled, "I am you captain! Name's Kevin! Welcome to your first year at BMS pussies. Our team is the top college football team in the state, we are like brothers and we tell our deepest and darkest secrets to each other." Everyone just kind of look at each other, "Bro, this dude is crazy." He whispered to Michael. Michael just stood there he then lifted his hand up, "That sounds seriously gay. Do we all scrub each other in the showers too?" Eddy covered his mouth, trying not to laugh. Kevin looked over at Michael, his lips pressed together and bottom jaw sticking out, "It's not GAY!" Eddy then started up, "Well you just told us to tell our secrets and feeling to each other. That's pretty gay." Kevin looked all crazy, "FINE! You and me McGee! Tonight! On the field!" Kevin then turned around, "NOW GET YOUR PUSSIES ASSES OUT THERE FOR PRACTICE!" Everyone started jogging their way to the field, "What do you think that's going to be about?" He looked at Michael, "From what I know it will be a race. I don't really know what kind though." Michael's expression never changed. When they got to the field Eddy stood on the side line watching everyone else, "You know about this college or something?" Michael didn't look at him, "I have friends." With that Eddy just shrugged and watched everyone. He was then tackled, "EDDY! I made it! I am the football Mascot!" Ed was really excited. Eddy gave his friend a pat on the back and told him awesome work.
Lulu watched carefully as the team practiced, "They are all a bunch of girls, Chima. They have no experience on the field or in the bed. They have no idea how to make a man feel good." Chima just covered his face with the clip board; "Coach that language is not needed." he blushed a bit at the comments. Lulu shrugged, "OKAY SISSIES!" All the players ran over to the coach, "As I was watching you I realized, all of you are virgins. You have no real experience." He was cut off, "Coach! Go sit down and have some water you are sweating and acting all crazy. They don't even know who you are." Chima took over the meeting. He looked through his paper, he had been taking notes during the practice, "Okay so some of you are actually really good and have the ability to be better. Then there are some who have the ability to be amazing. Because there are some new comers, I am assistant coach Chima. Your actual coach, who is losing his mind because of this damn heat, is Lulu. You we prefer to us as your coaches, not your moms. You will not come to us over your booboos and your drama. We are a team, that doesn't mean we have to really like each other, but we have to respect each other, you have to listen to your captain's orders, you have to communicate. Now get to the showers, we will be doing practice every day this week to get you guys use to the field and everything." Everyone retreated to the lockers and stripped. Smacking each other with wet towels and talking about the day. Eddy knew he was going to have the best time of his life here. Kevin came into the locker room while everyone was getting dress, his second half following behind him, "Okay pussies! There is a party at my house, which is the Goat house. Everyone be there and be ready to party your dicks off." Eddy shook his head; this dude is like a complete idiot, but whatever he's always down to party. Ed came in, back into his normal clothes, "All the cheerleaders love me Eddy." He was covered in lip stick kisses on his cheeks and neck, "Ha-ha! I am glad you are getting some action Lumpy." He smiled at his friend.
That night the party was insane. Eddy saw Kevin, take a shot out of some girl's belly button, snorted coke off her chest, and then kissed her, taking the acid out of her mouth, "WOOOO! I AM THE KING!" He yelled and everyone cheered, so barbaric. Ed and Eddy stood there watching everyone, Ed got a couple looks and he would chase after them and then come back with a phone number. Eddy, was just looking for sex, he didn't want to be tied down. He got his fair share of looks but wasn't interested, until someone across from the bar looked at him. She was cute, her black hair was up in a bun and she was waiving at him, it was kind of strange, because she was trying to get him to come over to her. So he did, he went over and sat next to her, "Sup sexy?" the girl looked at him strange, she cocked a brow at him, "Really Eddy? You don't recognize me?" Eddy froze, this wasn't a girl. The guy looked him, smiling and giggling, his hair was falling around his face giving a girlish look to him, he was also kind slim not a lot of muscle mass. Eddy was a little embarrassed, he didn't know who the guy was and now he just referred to him as a sexy female, "Eddy. It's Edd, you know from peach creek. We grew up together." The guy gave him a worried look, but Eddy snapped when his memories started coming back, "Holly fucking shit! Edd? Double D?" Edd nodded several times, Eddy then jumped up and gave him a hug, "Oh my god, it's been years man. How come you never kept in touch?" Edd giggled, "I lost everyone's numbers. My phone got stolen and you know I have never done the whole social media thing. So I just kind of waited to run into someone here. Since I know you are in the football team." He laughed a little and took a sip out of his drink, "Man sock head, we missed you so much bro, it was so boring without you there. Ed and I pretty much just smoked pot the rest of the school year. So what have you been doing?" Edd smiled and look at his friends, "Well, I'm gay and I am the captain of the swim team." Eddy blinked, did he just hear right, "I'm sorry. What was that again?" Edd leaned in a little closer, "I'm gay. Which I'm guessing that was what you were referring to." Eddy shook his head and gave his friend a hug. He pulled back and looked him in the eye, "Bro, I don't care. I love you man and I always have. You are like a brother to me." Edd was little shocked at this, Eddy so quickly accepted the fact that he was gay, even after not seeing him for three years. He smiled, "Thank you Eddy. You don't know how hard it's been." Eddy went to open his mouth, "McGee! ON THE FIELD NO-!" Kevin shut his mouth the minute he saw Edd, "Uh-mm..Sorry. How you doing Edd?" Kevin scratched the back of his neck, not making eye contact with Edd, "I am fine Kevin. How are you?" Edd smiled. Kevin looked to the side more, Eddy was really curious as to why Kevin so suddenly got all quiet. Kevin turned away pulling Eddy with him, Edd waived, "Bye Eddy! Have fun." Double D smiled and laughed.
Getting out to the field Kevin had made him and Ed strip to their underwear. Lucky for them it wasn't cold. Kevin stripped down to his underwear and stood next to Eddy, "Okay pussies, we race all the way to the other side, but with this between our butt cheeks." He pulled out three Oreos, "Whoever loses eats their Oreo. The same for whoever drops it while running." Eddy just looked at him in horror, was this really about to happen, "Dude. That sounds fucking gay." Kevin turned his head quick to look at Eddy, "STOP SAYING THAT! I'm not gay!" he put his attention back on the field. He took a deep breath and looked at the Oreo, "Alright pussies! You ready? Insert Oreo now." All three inserted the Oreo in the ass cracks, Eddy watched Kevin shove his deep in there. He couldn't believe it; they heard the horn and they were off. Eddy struggled to keep his Oreo in and so did Ed but it didn't really matter Kevin was already ahead of both of them.
On the bleachers sat Michael and his friends, Pete and Henrietta. They watched the show, smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee, "Do you think you can get me into the cheerleading bitch squad. I'm sure my mom would love to see me cheer myself to death, I wish she would just die already, I will have to rip my eye balls out of my eye sockets so I don't have to watch her humiliate me." Michael took a long drag of his cigarette, blowing it out in her direction, "I can see. Maybe I can work something with the head cheerleader." They all put their cigarettes out and walk back to the Goat house.
Meanwhile, Kevin had won the race, of course, "Alright..Eat those cookies! Eat them!" Kevin and his crew watched as Eddy and Ed ate their cookies, both of them trying hard not to vomit. Kevin laughed and stared walking back to the house, while pulling out the Oreo from his ass; he looked around and then ate it when no one was looking.
A/N:: So I actually looked up to see what Eddy's last name was and it came up as it is possible that McGee is his last name, since there was an episode where Ed said it one time. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter, there are many more to come. Please review so I can stay motivated. Also this chapter is kind of based off the first episode of BMS.