Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, not Gundam Wing nor the PlayStation 2.
Don't sue me, pretty please.
Notes: Based on a true story, me and my friends and family playing my current favourite game, Tekken Tag Tournament on the PS2.
**************************************************************
~~~ A Nice Friendly Game ~~~
aka: Don't Underestimate the Chick with the Sassy Bow
or: How Violence in the Media Leads to Violence in Society – A Documentary
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Another day, another safehouse. The story begins in the living room. Duo is sitting on the floor, with his nose about three inches from the TV screen, frantically pushing buttons on a PS2 controller.
Duo: Come on, come on, baby, you've almost killed him… just… no… goddamn! No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *slumps pathetically* So close!! So bloody close!!!!
Enter Wufei. Who sits on the sofa and starts reading.
Duo: Alright, okay, I can do this. We can do this!! Come on, baby! *paws TV screen* We can do this!!!! We're going to beat those unholy sons of bitches this time!
Wufei: *raises eyebrow*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later…
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *falls over backwards with a despairing scream*
Wufei: *throws sofa cushion at him* Do you get any NOISER, Maxwell?!?
Duo: I'm dying! Ah God, why!???!
Wufei: Would you shut up already?!? I'm trying to read!
Duo: I was here first! Why aren't you reading in YOUR room?!!
Wufei: *pales* Uh, well, you know how my room is right next to the one that Quatre and Trowa are sharing?
Duo: *nods*
Wufei: Um, well, they're currently in their room, doing… *blushes* Something noisy.
Duo: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I seeeeeeeeeee. *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Wufei: -_- *goes back to his book*
Duo: *goes back to his game* Okay, buddy, we've had some setbacks in the past, but this time we're going to make those bastards regret the day they were born!!!
Wufei: *raises eyebrow again and starts watching, since he can't read with Duo making THAT MUCH noise…*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later…
Duo: Shit!! No, no, don't do that, please God no!!!! Ahhhhhhh, don't dead leg me – NO!!! You MOTHERLESS SON OF A BITCH!!! *tugs at hair* SHIT!!!!!!
Wufei: …Remind me how it is that you got to be a Gundam pilot, Maxwell?
Duo: _ I'd like to see you do any better, WUFFLES!!
Wufei: …Is that a challenge?
Duo: You bet your skinny ass it is, LITTLE BUNNY FEI FEI!!!
Wufei: -_- Bring it on, Baka-Boy.
************************************************************************
Ten minutes later… Duo vs Wufei.
Wufei: That roundhouse kick was really sloppily performed. I could have done a better one myself.
Duo: Will you stop CRITIQUING their FIGHTING STYLES??! And besides, when you're fighting as that guy, it's not CALLED a roundhouse kick. It's called the Circle of the Leopard.
Wufei: -_- Of course. Excuse me while I Circle of the Leopard your head.
Duo: That was so cheap! I was just getting up!! What happened to justice and honour?!
Wufei: Which and what? All's fair in love, war and arcade gaming.
Duo: I'm going to make you regret that.
Wufei: I'd like to see you try.
Duo: Hn.
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… the battle rages on.
Wufei: K'so!! Oh, you – ITAI!!! That HAD to hurt.
Duo: How do you like THAT, huh??! How about some of THIS!?
Wufei: Cute trick. But then I can do THIS!!!!
Duo: Holy flying shit monkeys! *winces*
Heero: *kicks the door open and enters, gun drawn*
Wufei: *glances up and blinks*
Duo: *takes the opportunity to bitch slap the hell out of Wufei's character*
Wufei: Kisama!!
Duo: HA!!!!! :P
Heero: *holsters gun again* Are you two trying to compete with Quatre and Trowa in some kind of noisiness contest I haven't heard about?
Wufei: *strangles Duo with his controller cord* No, just having a little FRIENDLY game…
Duo: O_O *going pale*
Heero: Hn. I thought someone was being murdered in here.
Duo: *points to himself*
Wufei: Why don't you play too, Yuy?
Heero: Why?
Wufei: Improve your reflexes, renew your competitive edge, enhance your button pushing abilities, get new ideas for hand to hand combat…
Duo: *turning blue*
Heero: Hn. Nimru ryokai.
Wufei: Excellent… *releases Duo*
Duo: Oxygen!! Sweet oxygen!!
Heero: *picks up Duo's controller and prepares to fight*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Wufei vs Heero.
Wufei: I've always wanted to fight you.
Heero: *eyes narrow* What are you up to, Wufei?!
Wufei: Are you in the right?
Heero: What?
Wufei: I'm asking, are you in the right?!
Duo: What the hell are you two on?
Wufei: No, really. I can't tell if I'm the fighter on the left or the right. What in the name of justice is going on? Why did we both have to pick the same character?!
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Heero vs Duo.
Duo: FRY IN HELL, SOLDIER BOY!!!!!
Heero: Hn!
Wufei: Yuy… try using the Bloody Fist of Fiery Doom.
Heero: Acknowledged. *uses attack*
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, you were too young and beautiful to die!!!!!
Wufei: Maxwell, that's a male character.
Duo: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!?????
Wufei: And according to the character profiles in this book, he's 57 years old.
Duo: *sniffs* Youth and beauty are in the eye of the beholder.
Wufei: …
Enter Quatre and Trowa.
Quatre: What's everybody doing?
Duo: It's a tournament of button-mashing skill! Care to join us?
Quatre: …What?
Wufei: We're beating the crap out of each other in pretty graphics. Mindlessly violent and entertaining.
Quatre: How long have you been doing this?
Duo: Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. *glances at watch* Lunchtime! Food! *throws down controller and runs for the kitchen*
Heero: … *eyes the abandoned controller, then Trowa*
Trowa: … *accepts the silent challenge and picks up the controller*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Heero vs Trowa.
Heero: Hn.
Trowa: …
Duo: Holy crap!! That looked painful. *eats fistful of chips*
Quatre: Is that even physically possible?
Wufei: Yes.
Quatre: …I'll take your word for it.
Heero: Hn!
Trowa: … *blinks*
Duo: That was the Holy Lightning Double Whammy of Serious Pain!! I thought you needed three hands to push all the buttons and pull that off!
Trowa: *looks slightly smug*
Heero: *glowers*
Wufei: *kicks Heero out of the way* Admit defeat, Yuy. Bring it on, Barton.
Trowa: *nods*
Quatre: *sighs*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Trowa vs Wufei.
Wufei: ITAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!
Trowa: …
Heero: That was cool, I have to say.
Duo: How in the hell did you do that??!
Trowa: That was the Gregorian Cheddar Attack.
Duo: I KNOW what it was! But how the heck did you do it?!! FINGERS AREN'T POSITIONED on the right angles to push all the buttons for that attack! I should know, I've TRIED. I almost sprained my wrist.
Quatre: Trowa's got really good hands.
Others: …
Quatre: *blinks* Ummm… I think I'll go… get some more snacks… *shuffles out to kitchen, blushing*
Heero, Duo, Wufei: *stare at Trowa*
Trowa: *shrugs*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Trowa vs Duo.
Duo: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Trowa: …
Wufei: Coooooooooooool…
Heero: *smiles sadistically*
Quatre: *winces*
Duo: GOD DAMN!!!!! Okay, it's okay; I'm not out of this fight yet…
Trowa: *pushes a button*
Heero: Now you are.
Wufei: Nice shot.
Trowa: Thank you.
Duo: Do they really have to do multiple instant replays of me getting my ass kicked? It hurts to watch.
Wufei: There is no mercy for those being destroyed.
Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Others: *throw various foodstuffs at Quatre*
Quatre: *sulks and starts picking potato chip fragments out of his hair*
Duo: Right, that does it. I'm bringing out the big guns.
Heero: Who's "the big guns?"
Duo: Just you watch. *picks new character*
Heero: …
Trowa: …
Quatre: …?
Wufei: An ONNA?! Your best fighter is an ONNA!!?
Duo: Don't even start! She may not look like much but this girl kicks ass!
Heero: Whilst wearing pink.
Quatre: Are those high heels?
Wufei: I'm loving the hair accessories.
Duo: Will you quit with the sarcasm already??!?!
Wufei: No. A nice fluffy headband, with a sassy little bow. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce… Maxwell's feminine side.
Duo: Fine, laugh it up. Just you wait. You'll be laughing out the other side of your face by the time we're through.
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… and still they fought.
Trowa: …
Heero: …
Quatre: …
Wufei: …
Duo: How'd you like THAT, huh?!? How about some of THIS!!!! And one of THOSE!!!
CRASH, THUMP, WHACK
Others: *wince*
Duo: And then one of THESE!!!! And then we go in for the kill – the Flowery Serene Arm Breaker of Ouch!!
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
Trowa: *winces violently*
Heero: *takes notes*
Duo: *throws his arms up and starts swaying to the music* I am the CHAMPION, I am the CHAMPION, NO time for LOOOOOSERS, coz I am the CHAMPION… of the world!
Wufei: Right, that tears it. *jumps on Duo and starts pounding the crap out of him*
Heero: *wanders off to try out his new moves*
Trowa: *pets the TV screen and his very dead character, then buggers off*
Quatre: *eats a fistful of popcorn* Damn… I put too much salt on this…
~~~ OWARI ~~~
Notes: Based on a true story, me and my friends and family playing my current favourite game, Tekken Tag Tournament on the PS2.
**************************************************************
~~~ A Nice Friendly Game ~~~
aka: Don't Underestimate the Chick with the Sassy Bow
or: How Violence in the Media Leads to Violence in Society – A Documentary
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Another day, another safehouse. The story begins in the living room. Duo is sitting on the floor, with his nose about three inches from the TV screen, frantically pushing buttons on a PS2 controller.
Duo: Come on, come on, baby, you've almost killed him… just… no… goddamn! No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *slumps pathetically* So close!! So bloody close!!!!
Enter Wufei. Who sits on the sofa and starts reading.
Duo: Alright, okay, I can do this. We can do this!! Come on, baby! *paws TV screen* We can do this!!!! We're going to beat those unholy sons of bitches this time!
Wufei: *raises eyebrow*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later…
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *falls over backwards with a despairing scream*
Wufei: *throws sofa cushion at him* Do you get any NOISER, Maxwell?!?
Duo: I'm dying! Ah God, why!???!
Wufei: Would you shut up already?!? I'm trying to read!
Duo: I was here first! Why aren't you reading in YOUR room?!!
Wufei: *pales* Uh, well, you know how my room is right next to the one that Quatre and Trowa are sharing?
Duo: *nods*
Wufei: Um, well, they're currently in their room, doing… *blushes* Something noisy.
Duo: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I seeeeeeeeeee. *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Wufei: -_- *goes back to his book*
Duo: *goes back to his game* Okay, buddy, we've had some setbacks in the past, but this time we're going to make those bastards regret the day they were born!!!
Wufei: *raises eyebrow again and starts watching, since he can't read with Duo making THAT MUCH noise…*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later…
Duo: Shit!! No, no, don't do that, please God no!!!! Ahhhhhhh, don't dead leg me – NO!!! You MOTHERLESS SON OF A BITCH!!! *tugs at hair* SHIT!!!!!!
Wufei: …Remind me how it is that you got to be a Gundam pilot, Maxwell?
Duo: _ I'd like to see you do any better, WUFFLES!!
Wufei: …Is that a challenge?
Duo: You bet your skinny ass it is, LITTLE BUNNY FEI FEI!!!
Wufei: -_- Bring it on, Baka-Boy.
************************************************************************
Ten minutes later… Duo vs Wufei.
Wufei: That roundhouse kick was really sloppily performed. I could have done a better one myself.
Duo: Will you stop CRITIQUING their FIGHTING STYLES??! And besides, when you're fighting as that guy, it's not CALLED a roundhouse kick. It's called the Circle of the Leopard.
Wufei: -_- Of course. Excuse me while I Circle of the Leopard your head.
Duo: That was so cheap! I was just getting up!! What happened to justice and honour?!
Wufei: Which and what? All's fair in love, war and arcade gaming.
Duo: I'm going to make you regret that.
Wufei: I'd like to see you try.
Duo: Hn.
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… the battle rages on.
Wufei: K'so!! Oh, you – ITAI!!! That HAD to hurt.
Duo: How do you like THAT, huh??! How about some of THIS!?
Wufei: Cute trick. But then I can do THIS!!!!
Duo: Holy flying shit monkeys! *winces*
Heero: *kicks the door open and enters, gun drawn*
Wufei: *glances up and blinks*
Duo: *takes the opportunity to bitch slap the hell out of Wufei's character*
Wufei: Kisama!!
Duo: HA!!!!! :P
Heero: *holsters gun again* Are you two trying to compete with Quatre and Trowa in some kind of noisiness contest I haven't heard about?
Wufei: *strangles Duo with his controller cord* No, just having a little FRIENDLY game…
Duo: O_O *going pale*
Heero: Hn. I thought someone was being murdered in here.
Duo: *points to himself*
Wufei: Why don't you play too, Yuy?
Heero: Why?
Wufei: Improve your reflexes, renew your competitive edge, enhance your button pushing abilities, get new ideas for hand to hand combat…
Duo: *turning blue*
Heero: Hn. Nimru ryokai.
Wufei: Excellent… *releases Duo*
Duo: Oxygen!! Sweet oxygen!!
Heero: *picks up Duo's controller and prepares to fight*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Wufei vs Heero.
Wufei: I've always wanted to fight you.
Heero: *eyes narrow* What are you up to, Wufei?!
Wufei: Are you in the right?
Heero: What?
Wufei: I'm asking, are you in the right?!
Duo: What the hell are you two on?
Wufei: No, really. I can't tell if I'm the fighter on the left or the right. What in the name of justice is going on? Why did we both have to pick the same character?!
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Heero vs Duo.
Duo: FRY IN HELL, SOLDIER BOY!!!!!
Heero: Hn!
Wufei: Yuy… try using the Bloody Fist of Fiery Doom.
Heero: Acknowledged. *uses attack*
Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, you were too young and beautiful to die!!!!!
Wufei: Maxwell, that's a male character.
Duo: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!?????
Wufei: And according to the character profiles in this book, he's 57 years old.
Duo: *sniffs* Youth and beauty are in the eye of the beholder.
Wufei: …
Enter Quatre and Trowa.
Quatre: What's everybody doing?
Duo: It's a tournament of button-mashing skill! Care to join us?
Quatre: …What?
Wufei: We're beating the crap out of each other in pretty graphics. Mindlessly violent and entertaining.
Quatre: How long have you been doing this?
Duo: Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. *glances at watch* Lunchtime! Food! *throws down controller and runs for the kitchen*
Heero: … *eyes the abandoned controller, then Trowa*
Trowa: … *accepts the silent challenge and picks up the controller*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Heero vs Trowa.
Heero: Hn.
Trowa: …
Duo: Holy crap!! That looked painful. *eats fistful of chips*
Quatre: Is that even physically possible?
Wufei: Yes.
Quatre: …I'll take your word for it.
Heero: Hn!
Trowa: … *blinks*
Duo: That was the Holy Lightning Double Whammy of Serious Pain!! I thought you needed three hands to push all the buttons and pull that off!
Trowa: *looks slightly smug*
Heero: *glowers*
Wufei: *kicks Heero out of the way* Admit defeat, Yuy. Bring it on, Barton.
Trowa: *nods*
Quatre: *sighs*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Trowa vs Wufei.
Wufei: ITAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!
Trowa: …
Heero: That was cool, I have to say.
Duo: How in the hell did you do that??!
Trowa: That was the Gregorian Cheddar Attack.
Duo: I KNOW what it was! But how the heck did you do it?!! FINGERS AREN'T POSITIONED on the right angles to push all the buttons for that attack! I should know, I've TRIED. I almost sprained my wrist.
Quatre: Trowa's got really good hands.
Others: …
Quatre: *blinks* Ummm… I think I'll go… get some more snacks… *shuffles out to kitchen, blushing*
Heero, Duo, Wufei: *stare at Trowa*
Trowa: *shrugs*
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… Trowa vs Duo.
Duo: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Trowa: …
Wufei: Coooooooooooool…
Heero: *smiles sadistically*
Quatre: *winces*
Duo: GOD DAMN!!!!! Okay, it's okay; I'm not out of this fight yet…
Trowa: *pushes a button*
Heero: Now you are.
Wufei: Nice shot.
Trowa: Thank you.
Duo: Do they really have to do multiple instant replays of me getting my ass kicked? It hurts to watch.
Wufei: There is no mercy for those being destroyed.
Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Others: *throw various foodstuffs at Quatre*
Quatre: *sulks and starts picking potato chip fragments out of his hair*
Duo: Right, that does it. I'm bringing out the big guns.
Heero: Who's "the big guns?"
Duo: Just you watch. *picks new character*
Heero: …
Trowa: …
Quatre: …?
Wufei: An ONNA?! Your best fighter is an ONNA!!?
Duo: Don't even start! She may not look like much but this girl kicks ass!
Heero: Whilst wearing pink.
Quatre: Are those high heels?
Wufei: I'm loving the hair accessories.
Duo: Will you quit with the sarcasm already??!?!
Wufei: No. A nice fluffy headband, with a sassy little bow. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce… Maxwell's feminine side.
Duo: Fine, laugh it up. Just you wait. You'll be laughing out the other side of your face by the time we're through.
************************************************************************
Five minutes later… and still they fought.
Trowa: …
Heero: …
Quatre: …
Wufei: …
Duo: How'd you like THAT, huh?!? How about some of THIS!!!! And one of THOSE!!!
CRASH, THUMP, WHACK
Others: *wince*
Duo: And then one of THESE!!!! And then we go in for the kill – the Flowery Serene Arm Breaker of Ouch!!
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP
Trowa: *winces violently*
Heero: *takes notes*
Duo: *throws his arms up and starts swaying to the music* I am the CHAMPION, I am the CHAMPION, NO time for LOOOOOSERS, coz I am the CHAMPION… of the world!
Wufei: Right, that tears it. *jumps on Duo and starts pounding the crap out of him*
Heero: *wanders off to try out his new moves*
Trowa: *pets the TV screen and his very dead character, then buggers off*
Quatre: *eats a fistful of popcorn* Damn… I put too much salt on this…
~~~ OWARI ~~~