A/N: This whole thing is set after episode 10 of Season 5, after the car wreck, and beginning in the hospital. I'm going off of the spoilers out there, and taking major creative license. This is a Chair story, it's going to be heartbreaking, it's going to be dramatic, and it's going to have tasteful smut. I hope you're ready.

BPOV

Black. That's all I could see. A neverending pool of black. I couldn't tell which way was up; there was no gravity where I was. I had never in my life felt so completely alone. The absence of light and sound was enough to make me crazy. I was freaking out, and I tried to scream, but I couldn't even move. Not a sound. I couldn't tell the passage of time, time was nonexistant. So I couldn't tell you how long I was trapped before I realized where my body was. I felt my hands at my sides first. I tried to lift my right hand, just an inch...but nothing happened. It was like I was being held down by something, but there was no touch. Everything was cold, I was so cold. I wanted to shiver so badly, but I couldn't even do that. Then the feeling of having a mouth came back. I tried to move that, too, but I couldn't. Then I noticed that there was something in it. In between my teeth. I focused on it, tracing the feeling down...into my mouth...down my throat...Then I realized air was being forced into my lungs. I tried to swallow, but I couldn't. I knew it would hurt, this foreign object. I felt my face, and the sticky residue on either side of my mouth. Tape. That was the word. It had to be tape.

And that's when it happened. It was like a lightning bolt was shot straight through me. I felt everything. Every inch of skin and bone. Every single pain. I wanted to cry out, and I couldn't. But then I remembered, and suddenly that pain was nothing. Nothing compared to the pain that was shot straight through my heart. Chuck.

My heart started pounding, racing. I could hear, but that didn't matter. Beeps were sounding all around me, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Chuck. He had to be gone. He wouldn't have left me alone. He wouldn't have left me alone in the dark. He couldn't be gone, but I knew he was. Otherwise my hand would not be empty, his would be in mine. He wasn't here. I thought I had just got him back, I thought I knew what I wanted...I never wanted to feel this; the feeling of having everything I ever wanted ripped out of my arms.

I started to hear voices, frantic voices. I couldn't care. I wanted to open my mouth, to speak, to tell them to just stop, please stop, I don't want to be here anymore, just please let me go quietly. But I couldn't. I had no control over my own body. I was being held down by some invisible force. Trapped inside my own mind, forced to endure the pain of my heart in silence when all i really wanted to do was scream at them to stop trying to save me, there's nothing left of me to save.

Cold hands were prodding on me, I felt myself being jostled. Hands came down on my wrists and ankles. I felt something small stab my arm, and a warm fluid passing into me. It felt nice to feel warmth. I was still freezing. And then I realized that it wasn't the hands jostling me. I was moving on my own, and I couldn't stop. I was twitching. Seizure, that's what they would call it. I would call it nothing more than my body's way of telling them to just let me go. Why couldn't they just give up? Why not just let me go? It's not like there's anything left for me. Why would they torture me by trying to bring me back?

As suddenly as it started, it all stopped. My body fell back into a restful position, and the hands came off of my ankles and wrists. It hurt where they had been holding down. I realized there had been something sticking into the back of my hand the entire time. As soon as I realized it, a warm fluid came through me, starting at that spot and quickly rushing throughout my body. It was a relief and a curse at the same time. I was no longer cold, but it brought the pain of my body to the surface. I tried to focus on the pains throughout my body. I couldn't think about the pain in my chest, the one that wouldn't go away, the one that never would go away unless they just let me go. I started at my toes and worked up. There was a stiffness all around my right leg. Something holding it straight. it ran from my back down to my knee. I located the pain. It was mostly in my bone, but it was also in my hip. Two different kinds of pain, a dull throb coming from my hip, and a sharp pain coming from the middle of my thigh. I worked my way up again. I got to my arms before I felt any major pain again. This was at my arm, near my wrist. On my left side, my arm felt like it had been broken in two. Broken. Broken bone? I wouldn't know until I tried to move, until I could see. My head. I could feel my head, and I could feel something painful in my left temple. I felt the tape again. There must be some kind of bandage. Blood. That means blood.

Chuck wouldn't feel pain again.

I couldn't feel anything anymore. The pain in my heart was too much. But I fought. For some reason, I fought. I focused on my eyes. There...a little light. I got the light to get brighter. All of a sudden, I opened them wide, and there was a ceiling above me. A white ceiling. A face blocked my view. I didn't recognize it. I didn't try and listen to what the man said. I just tried to say one single word.

It was muffled, I'm not sure if anyone heard at all. If they would have taken the tube out of my throat, I would have been able to speak. But there was a look on the man's face that told me he knew what I was saying before everything faded to black again, and all feeling was gone.

"Chuck."