Copyright: Take what you will from this, but I own nothing...sadly...

How not to write an Evangelion Romance Fanfic

-Inspired by sentinel28's story: How Not to Write Evangelion Fanfics

As much as we might fight it, all of us have a healthy respect or regard for love stories. The classic tale of two people joining together emotionally, spiritually, and physically has appealed to us for ages.

So you're probably thinking of giving a go at it...right? But you don't know how to make it believable.

To do this, you have to treat the situation based on an observance-detail. What was it about other romances that drew you in? Why do you hate the romance of Twilight? What is it about Mary-Sue that pisses you off so much that when she ends up with the main hero/heroine, it makes you ready to destroy your computer?

So there you go. Start with what you hate about the bad romances and shipping fics that you read and decide not to go that route.

To help you, I've compiled a list of things you shouldn't do when writing a romance fanfic, here we go now!

1. Drastically changing a character's personality without reason.

This is fanfiction, true, but even fixer or peggy sue fics have a transitional period where the change is explained and for what reason the change occurred. When done right, those fics managed to change something about the character without betraying their fundamental personality traits.

Example: Shinji describes to Hikari why he didn't go out with anyone else over a simple drink chat.

"Shinji...you're not serious..."

"Oh I wish that I wasn't, but it did happen."

"Rei had a giant cake delivered to your apartment and then she was inside of it naked with whip cream written on her...chest asking you to lick it off?"

"Exactly...and then there was Asuka..."

"Yeah...when did she..."

"Become a Jehovah's Witness? Good question..."

"Is that why you won't let her in, Shinji-kun?"

"Exactly why I won't let her in."

2. Unrealistically demonizing the third romantic option.

If you have a favorite pairing, then fine. If you have something against the other romantic option, that's alright to. But if you're going to bash the other option, then you better know what your talking about. AKA, bring up an interesting and convincing argument from canon on how the other pairing wouldn't work out and treat the character fairly.

Make it clear that your couple is the main one, but that the other character isn't bad by themselves...most of the time.

Otherwise, you'll discredit yourself and your story and put-off readers from finding your writing interesting.

Example: How one could solve the potential love triangle of Shinji-Hikari-Toji...badly...

"Shinji!" Hikari dived through the open door and clung onto Shinji as the young man held her while Penpen closed the door.

"Hikari..." The girl was a mess, her clothes were completely torn up and blood sipped down from her mouth, "What happened?"

"Toji..." That bastard! Shinji's teeth clenched in anger. Why couldn't that jock just leave them alone?

"You look terrible...Did Toji try to rape you?" Hikari nodded her head, though it hurt due to an ugly bruise on her neck.

"Did he hit you?" At that Hikari shook and began to cry loudly, "It's okay! You're safe in my skinny malnourished arms!"

"Hey!" A loud and evil voice yelled from outside, "Get that bitch out here so I can hit something!"

"Go away!" Hikari screamed before she clung to her beloved all the more tightly, "It's those damn steroids...ever since I chose you, he's been taking them like hot tomales."

"I'll get my gun." Shinji found that he didn't need to. Penpen handed the boy his Rapid-Fire DMR and watched as Shinji stepped outside and closed the door behind hm. Gunshots rang and a demon roared before all grew quiet again and Shinji reentered covered in cuts, "Monster."

"Hope he burns in hell..." Hikari muttered as she hugged her lover and kissed his cuts before kissing him on the lips.

Growing bored with the scene, Penpen just wobbled out to collect dinner for the week.

3. A rapid transition from friend to soulmate-lover without context.

There are only two places where characters who have hardly interacted should get hitched on sight. 1) Disney movies who can get away with that. 2) Vegas.

Since you are mostly likely not in either place, you should set a pace for the bond and let it grow gradually or at a pace fitting for your kind of story. It's simply more realistic, two people on a simple date don't make-out for two hours, especially if it's the first date.

Example: Hikari wanting to have Shinji's babies after he gives candy to a little kid.

"Here you go." Shinji patted the little boy on the head and smiled as the child ran off with a candy bar. Little did he know that a class rep. in the heat was watching him.

"Shinji..." The pig-tailed girl whispered in the boy's ear, "You...me...that alley...Right now!"

"As much as this is very uncomfortable and sporadic for me..." As much as Shinji thought that the nasty in the alley wasn't exactly sanitary or safe from perverts, he found himself unable to resist to the draw of a beautiful woman wanting him to take her, "I am completely okay with this."

*One Hot and Kinky Lemon involving bondage and a really unrealistically big "lance" scene later*

"I love you Shinji." The girl said before she passed out on her lover's chest as they lied on the strangely comfortable floor of the alleyway.

"I love you too." Sure it was completely sporadic and neither of them had made in preparations for unwanted surprises.

But they loved each other, isn't that what mattered?

4. Having one of the characters do something and the other never calls them out on it.

Humans are flawed creatures, so we're prone to making mistakes. But sometimes, we need others to point out to us are faults because we may not see them. In a pair, there's going to be a few hiccups. One character might be very extroverted and loud and the other is probably shy and reserved. If neither ever gently nudge the other to either become a bit more open about their feelings or curb any vice that they have, then you set a precedent for an unhealthy relationshp.

In real life, unhealthy relationships never end well. Never.

Example: Hikari denying Shinji's habit for senseless murder despite the evidence brought up by Rei.

"You have not slept, class representative."

"Don't worry about me Rei."

"Is it Shinji?"

"No! Of course it isn't Shinji..."

"I saw him with five hookers near my apartment."

"That wasn't him-"

"When he left the room he took them to, he was covered in blood."

"You're probably imagining things Rei! Shinji would never-"

"Then how do you explain your scarf?"

"This thing? He gave it to me after-"

"Penpen went missing."

"That doesn't mean-"

"And your scarf matches Penpen's coat."

"What a coincidence!"

"And they call me a doll."

5. Pointless Drama for the sake of Drama.

Remember when Elizabeth had a crush on Jake Sparrow even though she was engaged to Will? Then she kissed him to distract him and handcuff him to the mast? And when Will found out, he and Liz had a strain in their relationship for most of the third movie?

Drama is great, but too much drama or drama for the sake of drama can put off readers because it doesn't add anything to the main plot. When something happens, it better add to the status quo. This type of drama usually either ends stupidly, or resolves in a way that made it unnecessary to happen in the first place.

Example: I just gave one! Fine...Asuka trying to seduce Shinji...after he declares that he loves Hikari.

"Wanna make out Shinji-kun?"

"Not with you..."

"Wanna play with my breasts and make them expand?"

'Not with yours."

"Wanna give me your baby-"

"Hell no."

"Come on...just a quickie..."

"NO!"

"What? Why not? Afraid that mommy will see you in heaven Shinji?"

"Asuka...hello? I'm in love with Hikari! She's the first person in this f%$king town who loves me without some bullshit condition and has actually told me this...to my face! Why would I do anything to f#k that up?"

"Because I'm a red-head with big breasts for my age and I go for what I want?"

"Really? What about the fact that Hikari is the only person here who doesn't hate your ass? And you really want to flirt around with me?"

"Don't be such a-"

"I mean...I already know what's going to happen! If I give in, I'll feel guilty and probably try not to tell Hikari about it! And I'm a terrible liar so she'll know instantly and we'll break up! I'll be emotionally distraught and tormented! Maybe even set myself up to get more manipulated by my bastard father! He might even choose Hikari to pilot an infected Eva and I'll have to fight her and probably either kill her or horribly injure her somehow because of some evil AI that my dad will turn on! Then if Hikari survives, she'll recover, we'll make up and you'll be seen as the bitch that you are because I bet that you wouldn't have the common courtesy to even try to apologize because your so damn arrogant and proud! You'll probably even fall in love with an angel disguised as a cute albino boy who I'll crush and you'll be pissed off at me for it. Maybe even push off the catwalk as I'm getting out of Eva and cause me to fall really far down, break a bunch of bones, get a concussion and fall into a coma just as the JSSF arrives to kill everyone while you wallow in your Eva-"

"Alright fine! You're not even that hot anyway!"

"I wouldn't have minded a threesome...but you're too much of a bitch!"

"What was that?"

"I said that your a bitch!"

Author's Notes:

Take from this whatever you will, I was honestly having fun with it.

If I think of anything else, you'll find it here, till then, enjoy these first five tips.