Hullo! So, this is basically something random that popped into my head one day. I was watching Top Gun, my computer was on...and as a result, I have this odd piece of writing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Top Gun, Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer (sadly...well, not so much now, but twenty years ago!), or the characters they play. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

Maverick is considering his Iceman-fixation when he is interrupted...by himself?

(Oh, just to give a heads up: regular type is Maverick, italics is his brain).

And now for something completely...the same!

This is bad. An obsession like this cannot be healthy.

Oh, don't worry, you're not obsessed.

What the hell?

Hello there.

Um. I have a voice in my head…Does that mean I'm crazy?

Nope.

Would you tell me if I was?

…Nope.

Didn't think so. I think maybe I should see a shrink or something…

Never mind that. As long as you've got a voice in your head, might as well put it to use, right?

…

Of course you should!

Will you be going away anytime soon?

Nope!

(huff) Fine, I'll call a psychiatrist tomorrow.

Now, now.

So, if I'm not obsessed, then what am I?

For being such an arrogant man, one would assume you were more intelligent than this.

Hey!

Okay, okay. Let's think about this logically, shall we?

I'm talking to a voice in my head; I hardly think logic is a factor here.

Shut up. As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted: You constantly think of this man, yes?

…(mumbles) yeah.

Mmhmm. In a less than professional manner?

…

(nods sagely)

How can you nod if you're a voice?

Buddy, it's your imagination, I'm just the vehicle for rational thought. And you are trying to avoid the conversation.

Am not.

Are too.

Am not.

Are too, you obnoxious, petulant child.

…

…

That was harsh.

Harsh, but true. Now, do you or do you not think about this man in extremely inappropriate situations?

I dunno if I'd call them "extremely inappr--"

Is he naked?

…yes.

Then, they're extremely inappropriate. Answer the question, if you please.

…yes, I do.

You do what?

You're kidding, right?

I think you and I both know I'm not.

I'm really beginning to hate you.

Thrilled to hear it. Now, what do you do?

IthinkaboutIceininappropriatesituations.

See? That wasn't so hard, was it?

Shuddup.

Oh, that's mature.

(glare)

Okay, okay. When you think about Mr. Kazansky--

"Mr. Kazansky?" (snort)

May I continue, please?

Sorry.

No, you aren't. Ah well, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Just go on.

When you think about him like that, do you only feel…how should I put this?

Horny?

Not exactly the word I would have used, but yes.

What do you mean "only feel?"

I mean, do you sometimes get emotional, or think about him in a non-sexual way?

Emotional? (snort) No…but I guess I have thought about stuff other than sex.

Such as?

Sometimes I just picture his face in my head, or his smile.

That's nice. (smile)

…

Oh, right, sorry. Am I mistaken, or do you also picture things like him running a thumb over your bottom lip?

HEY! ARE YOU PEEPING INTO MY THOUGHTS!?

…Of course not.

YOU ARE! YOU PERV!

Calm down, Peter, you're overreacting.

…(seethes)

Can you really not add all this up and come to a conclusion?

Uh….

You love him.

(blink) Nuh-uh.

…Did you really just say that?

Fine then. No, I don't love Ice.

Yes, you do.

No…I can't. I mean, I can't stand him.

That's often the case between lovers.

We're not "lovers."

That's true. You only wish you were.

No I do--Okay, maybe I do. But I don't love him.

You don't have to listen to me now, but you'll realize it soon enough, Peter.

Why do you call me Peter?

That's your name, is it not?

Maverick. That's what everyone calls me. Hell, I introduce myself as Maverick. And you called Ice "Mr. Kazansky."

So?

So, why do you do that?

Well, it's rather like a method of distance.

What?

Since I have seen, in your mind, of course, you and Mr. Kazansky…in --

"Extremely inappropriate situations?"

Exactly. I feel it's best to distance myself.

You're a voice. In my head. How could you--

I'm tired. I think I'll have a nap now.

Hey, wait!

…zzzzzzzz…

Fine, thought-peeper. But I don't love…at least, I don't think I do. It might…make sense…wait, no!

This is complete randomness and I may or may not continue it, depends on whether or not my brain spits out anymore craziness for Mav.

Hope it gave someone a good laugh, at least.

Review if you'd like. I always appreciate them, but I won't beg!

(Much.)

Lornfaer