Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, of course. :) Also, I snagged the title from a John Mayer song. Hope he doesn't mind too much either. ;) Oh yeah, I got most of my information about Esme's past from TwilightLexicon(dot)com.
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She stayed in the room all day and all night for the past five days. Once Carlisle had found that she taunted Royce King and his friends, he asked Rosalie to stay in the house. Esme was surprised she managed to stay inside all the while, and she knew the girl was hurting. She felt an indescribable connection with the eighteen-year-old despite there being few words spoken. Rosalie kept to herself though, locked in her own room and staring in the large mirror. What could she possibly be thinking? Esme wondered to herself. She wondered what she could say to bring comfort to her new daughter. Carlisle brought her in so suddenly, and it took a few days of Carlisle's compassion for the two to figure out what happened to the girl. Esme instantly felt sorrow for her.
Whether Rosalie heard Esme or not, she didn't turn around. Instead of staring into the mirror, today the blonde-haired beauty was staring out the bay window, sitting quietly on the windowsill. Her legs were pulled close to her chest and her chin rested elegantly on her knees. Rosalie managed to make the simplest dress look regal. Today she wore a simply navy blue dress with white fringe at the neckline. A chignon rested at the nape of her neck, decorated with tiny faux pearls Esme thought Rosalie would like.
"Rosalie," Esme began, "we're going hunting. Would you like to come?"
"No, thank you," Rosalie said.
"All right." Esme turned to walk away, but then decided against it. Her dead heart ached for Rosalie. She felt they had things in common, but wasn't exactly sure how much yet. She had been so quiet ever since Carlisle changed her. "Rosalie, dear, are you all right?"
This was the first time Rosalie had looked anyone straight in the eyes. The animal blood began to change her eyes amber and Esme knew they would be golden soon enough. "I'm fine."
Esme furrowed her eyebrows. "I do not mean to pry at all, but would I be correct to say you are not telling the truth?"
Something flashed across Rosalie's face—too quick that Esme couldn't determine what it was. "I'm fine, really."
Esme bit her lip. "Please do not think we hate you, Rosalie. We love you dearly, no matter what you have done. I speak for Carlisle and Edward as well."
Rosalie scoffed. "Edward shows disdain for me."
"He will come around, I promise." Esme hoped for that at least. Carlisle's idea of Rosalie as a companion for Edward was a far-fetched plan. Edward tolerated her, unable to deal with the thoughts emitting from her. Esme took a seat on the nearest prop—the bed. She crossed her legs and waited for Rosalie to respond. She heard footsteps approaching the bedroom and with quick vampire speed, she went to the door to see Carlisle.
"Esme—" he began.
She placed a finger on his lips. "I'll be there. Can you give me a few minutes?"
Carlisle glanced at the unmoved Rosalie and nodded. He kissed Esme quickly on the cheek and left.
When she heard the door shut, signaling the departure of Carlisle and Edward, Esme returned to her spot on the bed.
"I wanted him to be scared of me. I wanted him to feel exactly how I felt," Rosalie said. Her words were muffled as she talked with her mouth in her dress.
Esme wondered if the sudden flow of words were due to Carlisle and Edward's absence.
"I told myself that he didn't mean it. He was drunk and so were his friends. But that is such a lie, Esme," she said. "Why do I hurt so much? It shouldn't be like this. I loved him…"
Esme knew if Rosalie were still human, she would be in tears. She got up from the bed and took a seat next to Rosalie. Surprisingly, Rosalie made room for her.
"We were supposed to get married. We talked about having a family with lots of children. And then we would grow old together. That wasn't too much to ask for, was it?" Rosalie asked, looking at Esme.
Esme shook her head. "No, dear. Unfortunately, things do not always work out the way we want them too."
"And now I'm this—this thing, and I can never go back." She began crying the empty, tearless, choking sobs of a vampire.
"Rosalie, I believe we are very similar people." She waited for Rosalie to respond, but she didn't so Esme continued. "I wanted to marry a kind and loving husband, but my human husband was anything but that… He had a different persona in private. Of course, I didn't know that until after I married him. My parents pressured me to marry him. Our wedding night was a complete disaster. I had never despised anyone so much in my life. I asked my parents for help, but they told me to keep quiet and be a good wife.
"It was a difficult thing to do. Charles was … abusive, and I felt worthless when I was with him. I shouldn't have been thrilled when he was drafted to fight in the Great War, but I was—"
"You and Carlisle…?" Rosalie began, genuinely curious.
Esme held up a hand. "Yes, I'm getting there."
"When Charles came back, the War had definitely changed him for the worst. I became pregnant soon after, but how could I raise a child in an abusive home? What a silly notion. I ran away—first with a second cousin and then further north. I gave birth to a son. He was more than I could have dreamed off, but he was sickly, and he died a few days later from a lung infection."
"Oh, Esme," Rosalie said.
"I was horrified, as you can imagine. I had been so excited to have a child—someone to call my own and someone who would genuinely love me." Esme shook her head. She hadn't told her story to anyone but Carlisle. It was a relief to tell someone else. "I felt as if there was nothing to live for… I jumped off a cliff in an attempt to take my own life. Carlisle found me in the hospital. All the other doctors thought I was dead…"
"But Carlisle heard your heartbeat."
"Yes, he did. There's a funny story behind Carlisle though… I met him when I was still a human. I was sixteen and I had broken my leg. He was the doctor in town so he set my leg and that was it. I never saw him again. That doesn't mean I forgot about him though." She smiled, remembering. "I never stopped thinking about him, even when I was married to Charles."
"You must have been overjoyed to see Carlisle again," Rosalie said.
"Yes, I was… Do not think what has happened to you is for naught. Your heart is kind, Rosalie—whether others see it or not. Don't build up walls. Eventually, someone will want in. Now I see Edward as my son…"
"You don't want me as a daughter, Esme," Rosalie said.
"Why would I not?"
"I'm a selfish being, human or not."
"We are all selfish beings, Rosalie. You're too harsh on yourself."
Rosalie relaxed her legs, spreading them in front of her. "I won't ever have the chance to have children or grow old… Esme, this is all wrong."
Esme bit her lip. She felt as if she wasn't able to make Rosalie understand. She was still a new vampire. Carlisle said every one adjusted differently. "I thought so, too."
"And you have someone like Carlisle now. Who do I have?"
"I would like to think you had me, Carlisle, and even Edward."
Rosalie said nothing, but went back to staring aimlessly out the window.
Esme sighed to herself as she stood. She placed a hand on Rosalie's. "If you need to talk, Rosalie, I am here for you. Please remember that." She walked to the door but before she could leave, Rosalie stopped her. Esme turned to face her.
The embrace was unexpected. Rosalie wrapped her arms tight around Esme. "Thank you, Esme."
She smiled as they released each other. "I'll hunt with you later if you'd like."
"No," Rosalie said, "I'd like to go now."
Esme allowed Rosalie to lead the way.
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Author's note: I always wanted to write a Esme/Rosalie story. I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks this, but I honestly believe Esme and Rosalie have a lot of things in common. They lost what they wanted the most, and they can't ever have it back. I wanted Rosalie to still be in pain from what happened with Royce, but also be defiant (after all, she's only 18), yet still have some sort of compassion. I have felt nothing but pity for Rosalie since I read Eclipse. Please review and tell me what you think. :)