Hey there, I'm back! ... For the moment at least :)
So this is just a little something I wrote when I was bored.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything of the One Tree Hill universe, that's all Mark Schwahn's!
Hoping For You
If she hadn't been in such a hurry she would have took a second to laugh at how typically cliché this was. Romantic scene at the airport. It was like something straight out of one of those films that Brooke had often made her watch when they'd had a movie night together. At the memory a small smile tugged at the edges of Peyton's lips as she pushed through the crowd and avoided being hit in the legs by moving suitcases. Brooke was just past the crowd, she knew it, she had seen her behind them before they had decided to start moving. A part of her wished that the crowd would be more considerate and allow her through, the other didn't care, nothing would stop her from getting to Brooke, least of all a crowd of people with suitcases. It was at that moment as she avoided colliding with a young, angry looking pregnant woman that she saw her, her B. Davis. The brunette was currently searching through her bag for something with a look of determination and frustration on her beautiful face. Peyton couldn't help but feel a sudden warmth spread through her body at the sight of the girl that she loved looking so incredibly adorable.
With a deep intake of breath Peyton tried to quell the nerves that raged within her as she walked slowly towards her. Her heart felt like it would rip out of her chest as it crashed into her ribcage with each thump as she approached the girl that she had known for the better part of her life with tentative steps. She couldn't recall a time when she had ever been so scared in her life. This was Brooke, her best friend, and while she tried to convince herself that there was nothing to be scared of she couldn't completely erase the fear that she felt. It was only when Brooke began to take steps away from her that she realised just how little time she had.
Unable to allow her best friend to simply get on the plane and leave Peyton sped up her pace moved quickly, almost jogging, towards the smaller girl. As she got closer she felt ever inch of her skin tingling and her stomach lurched with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. Her eyes studied Brooke's body embedding ever inch of it into her memory, her gorgeous figure, her silky, chestnut hair, her cute little nose and her pouty lips, everything that made her so beautiful and part of what made her so perfect. An uncontrollable smile found its way to Peyton's lips as she closed the distance that remained between them, with her arm outstretched she attempted to grab Brooke's arm and gain her attention. As her fingertips grazed the soft, pale skin she felt something that was almost like electric sparks pass between their skins. Peyton's fingertips grasped the brunettes arm and spun her around. A look of fury that was evident on the familiar face soon dissipated to one of confusion as the girl realised who it was that had grabbed her.
"Peyton?" She uttered her name, unsure whether she was imagining it or whether her best friend really was standing in front her. "What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't let you leave like this, Brooke," A smile graced Brooke's features at Peyton's words and she felt so grateful to have her friend back. It had been a difficult year for them but now they were getting back to how they used to be.
"That's very nice of you P. Sawyer but I thought you were busy," Brooke's dimples appeared ever so slightly as she watched the blonde carefully, happy that she was here but she couldn't help but wonder exactly why she was here.
"It doesn't matter. I had to see you before you left," The words came out in a rush and Brooke was only willing to let it go because she wanted to tell Peyton something now that she was here standing before her.
"Okay, well I actually have to tell you something too. You'll never guess what it is," Her soft smiled turned into a grin and those dimples made themselves properly known. Peyton watched her friend, unable to hold back a small smile of her own as she took in the beauty and hidden innocence of the brunette. "Before I left Lucas kissed me and told me that he wanted to be with me," Peyton's mouth fell open slightly and before she could stop herself she was already speaking.
"He's not good enough for you, Brooke," The words tumbled out of her mouth and instantly a look of confusion crossed Brooke's face, her body tensed and her dimples quickly disappeared. Peyton watched Brooke cautiously, unsure of how the brunette would react.
"Excuse me?" With her eyebrow raised questioningly Brooke stared at Peyton waiting for some sort of explanation of why her friend would say that about the boy she liked. A soft sigh came from Peyton and Brooke almost eased her tense posture seeing how anxious the blonde was.
"Look, I know that you really like him but you can do so much better that him," Peyton's voice was so full of conviction that for a second Brooke almost believed that she could do better than Lucas, that he wasn't enough for her. She soon pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she reminded herself of the goodness and kind nature of the boy they were talking about compared to her bitchy, slutty nature. She had no idea how Peyton could even think that Brooke was better than Lucas. She wondered if this was just some plan Peyton had formulated so that she could get Lucas back again.
"Peyton, what is this about?" Brooke's shoulder sagged slightly as she asked the question. She wasn't sure what was going on with Peyton but she seemed nervous and that worried Brooke.
"It's just that with Lucas you're never yourself. You said it yourself earlier, you were insecure when you were with him. You were always trying to meet these expectations that he had for you and instead of giving you hope that you were the best thing that's ever happened to him, he made you feel like you had to be someone else. He made you into this other person and he never gave you that hope that he could love you just for you and it isn't fair because you're the most amazing person that I know, Brooke. You're amazing just as you are," Green eyes, filled with honesty and sincerity, never broke away from confused and worried hazel ones. Brooke couldn't help noticing the beat that her heart missed or the increased speed that it continued to thump at as she heard Peyton speak these words so carefully and truthfully.
"Peyton, what are you…" Brooke barely managed to stutter out in a shocked daze.
"Sometimes you just need some hope, you know?" Peyton cut her off a gently took the brunettes small hand in her own. "You just need someone to let you know that you're doing okay, that you're not a complete failure even when you think you are. You give me what I need. You give me hope, Brooke. Hope that I'm loved by someone. Hope that I'm worth something. Hope that I won't be alone my entire life. You make me feel like I could be anything I want to be. With that hope you save me, Brooke. With you I don't feel like giving up. Even on the darkest days, the ones that make you feel like it would be so much simpler if you did let the darkness consume you, just gave in to it, even in those dark hours you find me, you pull me towards the light and you give me that hope, that certainty that it'll be fine, that I'll be fine," A smile tugged at the corners of Peyton's lips as Brookes jaw slackened a little and her mouth fell open. As she looked down she could feel Brooke's eyes burning into her and she continued to speak quietly. "When I'm lost in that darkness you find me and I feel like I'm home. You've made me realise that home isn't a constant place. It isn't building or town, but it's with someone that loves you and cares for you and makes you feel like you could take on the entire world as long as they're standing beside you. Home isn't a constant place because home is wherever that person goes," Green eyes darted back to teary hazel ones and Peyton gently rubbed the back of Brooke's hand with her thumb. "I know my home is with you, Brooke. How could it not be? After everything that we've been through, all the heartbreak and bitchiness and drama, you're still the only one that saves me. You're still the only person I'll ever fully let in. And it took a while for me to realise just why I wouldn't let anyone else in, wouldn't let them close to me, why I could never find that love that I wanted and dreamed of," Heart hammering in her chest, Brooke tried to say something but no sound would form. Peyton's free hand found Brooke's cheek and held it gently to ensure that she had the brunette's attention as she continued to speak. "But now I know. Now I've finally figured it out. It's because of you. It's because nobody can save me the way you do. It's because nobody gives me that hope I need the way that you give me it. It's because nobody has ever been there for me so unconditionally like the way that you always will be. And it's because somewhere along the line I fell in love with you and no matter how hard I try to I can't get out. No matter what happens I can't love anyone as much as I love you and I don't ever want to have to because you, Brooke, are all that I could ever want, you're more than I have ever wished for and I know that I don't deserve you but I know that I could ever let you go,"
Her hand never once left Brooke's as she spoke from her heart leaving her best friend stunned with her mouth slightly open. Both stood in silence for a few moments, both staring at each other, hands still twined, but both very distant. Peyton was giving Brooke time to process and Brooke was trying to comprehend everything that she had just heard. After a few failed attempts at trying to formulate some sort of reaction Brooke decided to take another minute to just stare at the tall blonde, completely dumbfounded.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ambushed you like this when you're going away for the entire summer but I couldn't just let you go without telling you that," As she dropped her hand from Brooke's cheek, a soft sigh escaped Peyton's lips and Brooke felt shivers crawling up her skin at the sweet sound. It wasn't a sad sigh or an angry sigh but rather a tired sigh full of relief.
"Y-you love me?" It was all that Brooke could manage to stutter out. Her tearing, glassy eyes watched Peyton's face as a small, soft smile graced the blonde's lips. Brooke couldn't fight the thoughts that dominated her mind at that moment, the ones that told her that that smile was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, the same ones that she got every time that smile was on Peyton's face. "You…fell in love…with me?"
"Yes," With the same smile on her face Peyton answered Brooke in a confident, self assured tone that she hadn't felt comfortable using around the brunette for a long time, since before she was confused by her feelings for her.
There was another long silence between the two, it was neither awkward nor comfortable. Neither of the girls really noticed it, both concerned with allowing Brooke to process the information again.
"What about Jake?" Brooke's eyes were fixated on the floor as she asked. Though she knew there was no reason for it, she was scared of the answer being something she didn't want to hear.
"I realised before that it wasn't him that I wanted. Losing you for just the summer seemed more unbearable to me that losing him forever," There was a momentary pause where the sounds of the airport filtered through and Brooke tilted her head up slightly to look up at Peyton sensing that there was more the blonde needed to say. Gently bringing her hand back to rest on the soft, pale cheek of her best friend Peyton added quietly as though afraid of the consequences of saying what she was thinking. "I thought it was him that I wanted but it's not, it's you,"
"What about everything that happened with Lucas?" Although she tried to keep it out of her voice as she mentioned him and acknowledged what had happened between them, there was still pain and jealousy lacing each of Brooke's words. Another sigh left Peyton's lips, this one was sadder than the last, guilt and anguish evident in the soft sound. Though she knew better than to feel this way Brooke couldn't help but felt a twinge of guilt at making Peyton feel such emotions, even if she did deserve to feel them.
"I was confused and jealous. And I thought I was jealous because you had him but I wasn't. I was jealous because he had you. It's always been you that I wanted, Brooke, it was never Lucas or Jake or anyone but you," Staring into those deep green eyes Brooke knew that Peyton was speaking every word truthfully. It made her heart skip and sink to know that this whole situation with Lucas and every feeling of pain she had felt in the past few months had been due to Peyton's love for her. It still burned inside to think of Peyton's betrayal and now to know it was because of love made it more difficult for Brooke to comprehend. Yet it was always Peyton's betrayal that meant more to her than Lucas'. It had hurt more losing her best friend than it had losing the first boy she thought she truly loved.
"Peyton, I…" In a nervous, timid voice that she wasn't used to hearing out of her own mouth, Brooke began to speak, intending on letting Peyton know everything she was feeling, the way that Peyton had for her moments before. Secrets had been kept for too long between them and it was only going to further damage their barely stable relationship if they continued to keep them.
"Its okay, Brooke, you don't have to say anything," Before Brooke could utter anything further Peyton had interrupted her and pulled away from her so that their hands were no longer twined and her hand was at her side instead of resting on Brooke's cheek. "I know that you would never see me as anything but you best friend, I wasn't expecting you too, I just wanted you to know,"
"Would you stop?" A few people glanced over at them at the sudden loud volume of Brooke's voice. The two best friends stared at each other, confused green eyes watching teary hazel ones intently.
"What?" Peyton asked softly though Brooke could hear a defensive edge to her voice. She had also noticed how the blonde had stiffened and hated that she felt bad for making her tense.
"Stop telling me what I want and what I don't want. Just let me speak and listen to me," Brooke's voice was quiet and husky now. She was trying to remain calm, trying to help Peyton relax a little as she spoke. Mimicking Peyton's earlier actions Brooke took the blondes hand in her own and looked up into her eyes as she spoke. "Peyton, you have no idea how much it hurt when you and Lucas went behind my back. It didn't hurt because he cheated. It hurt because you betrayed me. My best friend betrayed me. I trusted you so much and you threw it all away over a boy," Feeling the guilt Peyton looked at her shoes on the airport carpet not wanting to look into those pain filled eyes that she could get so easily lost in. It was only when she felt familiar soft fingertips on her cheek that she looked up seeing those very eyes soft and full of forgiveness. Forgiveness that she didn't believe either she or Lucas deserved. "But you promised never to hurt me again and I forgave you, and I don't know why I let you back in so easily but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't feel right without you and I only figured out why when Lucas was gone and it was just the two of us again. I realised how much I need you, how much you meant to me. In that time without you I felt like dying, not because I lost Lucas but because I thought I'd lost the most important thing in my life, I thought I'd lost you, my best friend," Tears were falling freely from Brooke's eyes and Peyton tried to catch them with her free hand while focusing on holding her own back. In a few moments of silence Brooke was sure she heard an announcement for her flight. It didn't matter right now. She didn't plan on leaving Tree Hill until she said what she needed to. "This past year has been so hard on us but we came through it and we found each other again. We found our way home. Because you're right, my home is with you. It always has been. You give me safety and security and love, all the things that make a real home. You make me feel like I'm worth something more than just my looks and my body. You give me hope too, Peyton, hope that I can be better, something more than I am. You're the only person that's ever done that for me. You see through the confident mask that I wear to the world and you see how vulnerable and scared I really am. And that should terrify me but it doesn't because it's you that can see through it, nobody else. It's you, the person that makes me feel safer than anything else ever has and when you see through that mask I feel so grateful and hopeful because I know that you care," While she had been speaking Brooke's hand had found its way to Peyton's curls. Brooke's eyes snapped shut as she took in a deep breath and absentmindedly allowed her fingers to tangle in the soft hair. In that one deep breath she had inhaled everything that was Peyton, every smell that combined to make up the familiar scent of her that Brooke had missed so much when they had been apart. Fluttering her beautiful hazel eyes back open she felt a surge of strength and continued to speak, careful to not once break eye contact with her blonde best friend. "I realised something a long time ago and I guess I've just been too scared to say it out loud because I didn't want to risk losing you again but now you need to know. You need to know that you haven't ruined us by telling me how you feel and you need to know that I'm always going to be there for you because I love you, Peyton. I'm in love with you,"
Peyton blinked long, hard blinks as though she was afraid that this was some dream that was designed to torture her and in a moment of hope she believed the blinks would wake her. After a few seconds Peyton began to realise that this wasn't a dream, that she had in fact confessed her feelings to Brooke and apparently Brooke reciprocated them. Brooke, the girl she had been best friends with since she was eight, who she had fallen in love with and couldn't bare to be apart from, Brooke who was beautiful and damaged and prefect felt the same way about her.
Rooted to the spot, with her mouth agape in disbelief, Peyton didn't move when Brooke moved closer to her and brought her face close to hers.
"I mean it, P. Sawyer," Her warm, sweet breath made Peyton's skin tingle in ecstasy. The familiar guilt that Peyton would normally feel in accompaniment with this pleasure was absent which was a relief and worry to the blonde. If this was all a misunderstanding then guilt would feel twice as heavy after having the possibility losing it completely. These worries were quickly banished from Peyton's mind with three strong and timid but honest words from the smaller girl. "I love you,"
They stayed in their close embrace, just breathing one another in, refreshing every recognizable scent that they had embedded into their memories years ago. People where beginning to stare at the pair who had not yet moved an inch from the other. Neither of them cared though. Neither had to be careful of their feelings around the other now, it didn't matter anymore. Right now it was just the two of them in a perfect bubble that no one could break through.
After some time Brooke moved to create some distance. Though it was only momentary she pulled back from the blonde and looked up into her eyes. Any trace of sadness or pain that was previously in them was gone and replaced by love and bliss and adoration. Brooke felt her heart swell. Her true love, the person she had waited so long to find, had been in front of her the entire time and felt the exact same way that she did. The person that she thought she could never have was there before her, completely in love with her. Even if she had not wanted to be open with their relationship, Brooke wouldn't have been able to help herself at that moment when Peyton was looking at her as though she was the most perfect and unique creature in the universe. With one hand still nestled in the blonde curls Brooke pulled Peyton's face closer to her own. It was the first time in her entire life that Brooke could recall being nervous to kiss someone. It had always come naturally to her. It hadn't ever intimidated her but then it hadn't ever really mattered before.
Very slowly Brooke closed the distance between Peyton's lips and her own. She could feel the blonde trembling slightly beneath her hand that was pressed firmly against her back, the other still comfortably rested in the curls. It was a strange kiss to Brooke, one that she'd never dreamed that she would experience with her best friend, shy and hesitant at first but full of a tender passion. Soon enough Brooke felt Peyton's tongue lightly brushed against her lower lip, seeking entrance into her mouth which she instantly granted. The kiss became more hungry and deeper than it had been yet it was still just as perfect. Neither girl noticed or cared that there were now many people staring at them, they weren't concerned with the young men that where practically drooling over them or the mothers that had to advert their children's vision. Nothing else mattered at that moment other than the fact that they were together and in love.
Although reluctant, the two girls parted lips, regaining their breath with deep intakes of oxygen as they stared silently into each others eyes, foreheads and bodies still pressed firmly together so not to entirely lose the contact which they so fervently desired.
"Did you have to wait 'til now to tell me, Peyton?" The brunette smirked sadly, while Peyton rubbed gentle circles on Brooke's lower back where her hands had been resting.
"Sorry," Looking away from her friend and creating some distance between the pair, Peyton gave a short half smile which Brooke noticed held some guilt. Of course her broody, emotional blonde would feel guilty for springing this upon her at such a time. Though Brooke had meant the comment to be taken in jest, the blonde clearly felt it held some truth.
"You can just make it up to me," In an attempt to lighten the mood that she had cast the taller of the two girls gave a mischievous grin and arched her eyebrow as she spoke in the low, husky tones that she noticed, for the first time in her life, drove Peyton crazy. With a hard swallow the blonde took a deep breath and tried to control the Cheshire cat smile that had spread across her face at Brooke's words.
"Well…" Peyton raised her eyebrow prepared to reply with her own mischief.
"This is the last call for flight 218 to Los Angeles," A loud, feminine voice called out over the speaker system and broke through the bubble that the two girls where currently in. Peyton looked down at Brooke with sorrowful eyes and a pained expression. Everything that she had wanted she now held in her arms and an unwillingness to let it go drove her actions as she tightened her arms around the beautiful brunette, bringing their foreheads to rest together as they had before.
"You have to go," The words were a whisper the passed between them as though if they were said any louder it would instantly banish her love from her arms and eliminate the possibility of any time that they could have left together. Brooke tightened her grip around Peyton and moved to rest her head on the blonde's shoulder.
"God, this summer really is going to suck," There was contempt evident in Brooke's voice and Peyton knew that she was thinking about her parents. In that moment, as she held Brooke close to her rubbing circles on her back, she found herself hating the brunette's parents more than she ever had before. Neither of them were ever there for their daughter, at least not in the time that Peyton had known her. She could recall her mother being around when she had first become friends with Brooke but soon after she disappeared too, leaving the young girl with an old nanny that they had both come to quickly despise. Now they were forcing her to stay with them in L.A for the whole summer when they knew very well that she could just stay with Peyton like she had done for the most part of her life.
"What am I going to do without you?" She had said it more to herself than Brooke but the brunette still pulled away, separating their bodies entirely, and looked her in the eye with a serious expression.
"Not hang out with Broody and give him ideas about a possible relationship with my P. Sawyer?" It took Peyton a second to process what Brooke had said, her actions and the serious expression momentarily confusing her. A soft chuckle escaped the blonde's lips and a smile that revealed her dimples came easily to Brooke's.
"I'm really going to miss you, Brooke," There was a bittersweet sound in her soft voice, love and sadness evident there. Before she realised that she had moved, Peyton's hand found Brookes and held it tightly.
"Be safe, P. Sawyer," Absentmindedly the smaller girl entwined the fingers of their joined hands and gave a sweet smile to her best friend. "I want my girlfriend to be in one piece when I get back,"
"Girlfriend?" The question was laced with excitement and hopefulness, and the smile that Peyton was giving made Brooke's heart thump faster inside her chest.
"Damn right, you're taken now, so don't let anyone get any ideas about fun times with my Blondie," As she raised her eyebrow in an accusatory manner she pulled her lips into a pout which Peyton couldn't help but find adorable. The tall blonde wrapped her arms around Brooke's waist and looked her in the eyes with the same accusatory look on her face.
"Fine as long as no one gets any ideas about 'fun times' with my B. Davis," The smaller girl gave Peyton an impossible to resist smile that she soon found herself planting a long but tender kiss upon. The same smile remained on the brunettes face after the kiss had ended and with a content sigh she found herself entranced by Peyton's own smile.
"It's a deal, girlfriend," Brooke nodded, loving the fact that she could call the blonde that, before pulling Peyton into a warm embrace. The blonde nestled her head into the crook of her girlfriends neck while Brookes hands tightened around her waist, holding her as close as she possibly could. Time seemed to stretch on for what seemed like hours and neither girl could think of anywhere else they would rather be, both just content with breathing in the other, holding each other so close that they were almost one being. It was only when she remembered where she was that Brooke pulled away from the embrace. "I guess I have to go,"
"I'll see you soon," Peyton said sadly as she stood with her arms hanging awkwardly at her side, watching Brooke pick up her bag and, after she had found her boarding ticket, place it over her shoulder now completely ready to go.
"Yeah, only three months to go," Brooke offered a short, half smile in an attempt to make herself and her girlfriend feel better. Neither girl was sure what they should do. They didn't want to say goodbye. Peyton watched Brooke carefully while she stared at the ticket in her hand, wishing with everything that was inside her that she didn't have to use it in a moment. Their eyes met once more as Brooke lifted her gaze from the ticket and let it settle on the wide, green ones that she loved so much. Tears fell from them freely as they did from her own hazel eyes, and Brooke suddenly felt like there was an enormous weight being placed on her shoulders at the sight of her girlfriend crying. Instantly Brooke moved and placed a lingering kiss on the blonde's lips, easing some of the weight away as she elicited a smile from the taller girl.
"I love you, Brooke," Peyton said softly, unaware of the now increased beating of the brunettes heart at these four simple words.
"I love you too, Peyton," In a soft voice of her own Brooke spoke the words back so only her girlfriend would hear. She enjoyed the intimacy that they had together and hated the idea of anyone intruding on these few precious seconds that they had left together. With a small smile the brunette girl backed away slowly and turned, unable to look at Peyton any longer and leave.
Everything inside her urged her to stay but she knew she couldn't and she knew that if she continued to look at the woman she loved standing there looking back at her with those beautiful green eyes that begged her to stay then she would certainly not be able to go so easily. It only took a few long strides until she had boarded the plane and she could feel those eyes on her the entire time. Peyton fought every impulse that she had to run to Brooke and demand that she stay. As her heart hammered in her chest she decided that she would let the brunette go and wait until they would be reunited when she came back. It was only three months after all and as much as she wanted to spend summer with her girlfriend, she knew that they could get through this. Their love had survived so much already that she was certain it could withstand anything, that nothing would break them apart. Not now or ever.
Okay, I'm not really sure what this is exactly, I just started writing one day and here we are!
This is really just something that I did to ease off my writers block so that I can continue with my other story. (Hopefully the chapter 7 will be up soon!)
D'ya like? Yay? Ney?
Well let me know what you think of this randomness, reviews are love ;)