Madagascar The Musical
By Kelly Riley
*Play and scene begins as the curtain rises to reveal Central Park Zoo daytime set. Penguin exhibit is on left side stage, the zoosters exhibit is on the main central stage, and the chimp's exhibit is on the right side stage. Marty comes out of his little shelter in his pen, waits a few seconds, then the spotlight focuses on him as he begins his song*
Marty (singing) -
"Today is my birthday, yes it is finally here, today is my
birthday, my favorite day of the year. But this birthday is a special
one you know, because I am turning the big 1-0! The big 1-0, one of
the biggest birthdays of all, the big 1-0, my middle age is starting
to call, I'm depressed, so I know I won't have a ball, on my big 1-0!
Now my friend Melman, I know what he will do, he'll find me something
meaningful with a card from me to you. That really is great honestly,
he is a real good friend, but I know exactly what I want this year,
an empty hole that I must mend. But it won't show, on my big 1-0! The
big 1-0, my life is halfway to its end, the big 1-0, at least I'll
spend it with my friends. None of them know the pain that is churning
inside of me, on my big 1-0! Now Gloria, she's a real sweet girl,
Gloria, the coolest hippo in the world, she'll find a way to make me
something like she always does, find a piece of junk and make it
better than it previously was. That's great, don't get me wrong, but
not even she's gonna hear my song, on my big 1-0! The big 1-0, a
whole decade old, the big 1-0, I am trying to be bold. I don't want
them to think that I have turned cold, on my big 1-0! Now Alex, Alex,
he's the best friend I could get. Alex, Alex, he has not let me down
yet. He'll get me one of his own merchandise like his calendar and
dolls, and plates and rubber balls, I even have a tray to make Alex
shaped Ice! But that will not suffice, for what I really need, on my
big 1-0! The big 1-0, the most depressing birthday ever, the big 1-0,
will I get what I want? Never! Maybe they can find it out but I don't
think they're that clever, on my big 1-0! The only birthday wish I
have this year is to run free, but that won't happen, that's the way
it's gonna be. What a great way to say happy birthday to me, on my,
on my, on my one and only, on my big 1-0!"
*Song ends as
Alex, who had come out of his little shelter is his section at the
"Alex, Alex" part of the song, Jumps up in front of Marty and
surprises him*
Alex (spoken) – "SURPRISE!"
Marty (spoken) – "Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming! When the Zebra's in the zone, leave him alone!"
Alex (spoken) – "Come on Marty! I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!"
Marty (spoken) – "Hey man, thanks!"
Alex (spoken, clutching cheek) – "I've got something stuck In my teeth, it's driving me crazy! Can you help me out here please?"
Marty (spoken) – "You came to the right place my friend, Doctor Marty, DDS is in the house! Please hop on the top of my sterilized examination table, if you may."
*Alex jumps onto boundary between exhibits, Marty looks in his mouth*
Marty (spoken) – "I don't see anything."
Alex (spoken) – "Keep looking."
Marty (spoken) – "Okay, just don't talk with your mouth full. Here *Pulls snowglobe out from hiding place near where Alex is sitting* What the heck was this doing in there?"
Alex (spoken) – "Happy Birthday!"
Marty (spoken) – "Thanks man! You put it behind the tooth. You all right!"
Alex (spoken) – "It's not even on the shelf yet! Here, check it out."
*takes snowglobe from Marty, shakes it and gives it back to him*
Alex (spoken) – "Look at that, Look at that, Look at that! It's snowing! Ten years old, huh? A decade! Double digits, the big 1-0"
*pause a second for laughter*
Marty (spoken, a bit depressed) – "Yeah."
Alex (spoken) – "You don't like it?"
Marty (spoken) – "No, no. It's great!"
Alex (spoken) – "You hate it! I should have gotten you the Alex alarm clock, that's the one, that's the big seller!"
Marty (spoken) – "No, no, the present is great, really. It's just that another year's come and gone and I'm still doing the same old thing. Stand over here, stand over there. Eat some grass. Walk back over here."
Alex (spoken) – "I see your problem."
Marty (spoken) – "Maybe I should go to law school."
Alex (spoken) – "You just need to break out of that boring routine."
Marty (spoken) – "How do I do that?"
Alex (spoken) – "Throw out the old hat. Get out there, who knows what you are going to do! Ad lib, improvise, on the fire, You know, make it fresh!"
Marty (spoken) – "Fresh? Okay, I could do fresh!"
Alex (spoken) – "Works for me!"
*opening bell for zoo rings*
Alex (spoken, excitedly) – "Oh, here come the people Marty! Oh, I love the people! It's fun people, fun time!"
*Runs into Gloria's area, and peeks into her shelter*
Alex (spoken) – "Let's go Gloria! Up and at em!"
*Gloria sticks her head out of the shelter*
Gloria (spoken, sleepily) – "What day is it?"
Alex (spoken, sing-song tone) – "It's Friday, Field Trip day!"
Gloria (spoken, sleepily) – "Yes, it's Field Trip day. Let's get up and go! Ten more minutes."
*she goes back into her shelter and snoring sounds are heard as Alex goes and jump on top of Melman's shelter and dances on top of it*
Alex (spoken, sing song) – "Come on, Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up, rise and shine! It's another fabulous morning in the Big Apple! Let's go!"
*Melman comes out of his shelter, with white cone on neck*
Melman (spoken) – "Not for me! I'm calling in sick!"
Alex (spoken) – "What?"
Melman (spoken) – "I found another brown spot on my shoulder. Right here! See? Right there! You see?"
Alex (spoken) – "Melman, you know it's all in your head."
*Meanwhile, on the right side stage, The chimps are in their cage*
Mason (spoken) – "Phil, wake up you stupid monkey!"
*back to the center stage, the guests of the zoo walk onstage, Marty is pacing back and fourth in his cage*
Marty (spoken) – "Oh, I'm gonna be fresh. Straight up off the ground. Tasting fresh. Freshalicious. Zip Lock fresh!"
Announcer (spoken, over intercom system) – "Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages. The Central Park Zoo proudly presents…"
Alex (spoken, jumping up and down in his pen as people gather around) – "Show them the cat! Who's the cat?"
Announcer (spoken, over intercom system) – "The king of New York City, Alex the lion!"
Alex (spoken, along with announcer) – "Alex, the lion! It's showtime!"
Marty (spoken to crowd gathering around his pen) – "Gather around people, big show's about to start! Check out the Zebra make it fresh, that's right!"
*lights dim and scene ends*
*Scene begins in Central Park Zoo daytime set, Rico, Private and Skipper, all played by child actors are in the penguin's pen on the left side stage*
Skipper (spoken) – "Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave. Kowalski, progress report."
*Kowalski, also a child actor pops head up out of trap door on stage*
Kowalski (spoken) – "We're only 25 feet from the main sewer line."
Skipper (spoken) – "And the bad news?"
Kowalski (spoken, holding up oversized broken spoon) – "We've broken our last shovel."
Skipper (spoken) – "Right, Rico, you're on litter patrol, We need shovels, and popsicle sticks, we don't wanna risk another cave in."
*Rico runs offstage and Kowalski ducks back into trap door*
Private (spoken) – "And me Skipper?"
Skipper (spoken) – "I want you to look cute and cuddly Private, cute and cuddly, today we're going to blow this joint."
*Lights dim as scene ends*
*Scene begins in Central Park Zoo daytime set, Marty is in his pen, making farting noises with his armpits, the children in the group of people watching him are laughing, parents are shocked*
Marty (spoken) – "Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet!"
*Parents guide children away*
Marty (spoken) – "Well, shows over folks! Thanks for coming. I hope you thought it was fresh! I'll be here all week, In fact, I'll be here for my whole life. 365 days a year, including Christmas, Hannukah, Halloween, Kwanzaa. Please don't forget to never spay or neuter your pet and tip your cabby, cause he's broke."
*Skipper, Private, Kowalski and Rico pop their heads out of a large trap door in Marty's pen*
Skipper (spoken) – "You, quadruped. Spreken sie English?"
Marty (spoken) – "I spreken."
Skipper (spoken) – "What country is this?"
Marty (spoken) – "Manhattan."
Skipper (spoken) – "Hoover dam! We're still in New York! *pushing other penguins into trap door* Abort, Dive, Dive, Dive!"
Marty (spoken) – "Hey, guys, wait a minute!"
*penguins pop back up*
Marty (spoken) – "What are you guys doing?"
Private (spoken) – "We're digging to Antarctica!"
*Skipper slaps him*
Marty (spoken) – "Anthootica?"
Skipper (spoken) – "Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend?"
*Marty nods*
Skipper (spoken) – "Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City?"
*Marty shakes his head*
Skipper (spoken) – "Of course not. We don't belong here, it's just not natural! This is all some kind of whacked out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antarctica, To the wild!"
*Penguins go back into trapdoor*
Marty (spoken) – "The wild, you can actually go there? Sounds great! Hey! Hold up! *sticks head into trap door* Where is this place? Tell me where it is!"
*Skipper pops back up*
Skipper (spoken) – "You didn't see anything. Right?"
Marty (spoken) – "Yes sir! Sorry, No sir."
*Skipper goes back into trap door, Marty looks up at Alex's cage, where Alex is once again on his pedestal, ready to perform, a crowd around him*
Announcer (spoken, over the intercom system) – "And now, for his last performance of the day, The King of New York City, Alex the lion!"
*people cheer*
Alex (Spoken) – "Thank you, thank you very much! You guys are great. You're a great crowd. Give me something here *catches rose bouquet* Thank you! Thank you! *catches underwear* Oh well, thank you!"
*tosses underwear which lands in Melman's pen, where is simply sitting and relaxing*
Melman (spoken) – "AH! Underpants!"
Alex (Spoken) – "Everyone get home safe! Be careful! Don't forget to watch me on the 24 hour Alex cam, watch me sleep!"
*Lights dim as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in Central Park Zoo, nighttime set. Marty, Alex, Melman and Gloria are all crowded around the center pedestal that divides their four pens, there is an assortment of food and gifts on top, Marty has a present in his hands and is shaking it, the penguin's pen on the left side stage is noticeably empty, while Phil and Mason are still in theirs, eating their dinner*
Gloria (spoken) – "Woo! It's Marty's birthday!"
Alex (spoken) – "Open it! Just open it!"
Marty (spoken) – "What is it? What is it?"
Alex (spoken) – "Come on, Open it up!"
*Marty opens gift and holds up oversized thermometer it contains*
Marty (spoken) – "Yeah, A thermometer! Thanks! I love it Melman! I love it!"
*He puts it in his mouth*
Melman (spoken) – "Yeah, I wanted to give you something personal. You know, that was my first rectal thermometer."
Marty (spoken) – "Mother!"
*spits out the thermometer as his friends get into position for their little performance, Melman blows the noisemaker in his mouth*
Alex (singing) – "Happy"
Melman (singing) – "Birth"
Gloria (singing) – "Day"
Alex (singing) – "To"
Melman (singing) – "You"
Gloria (singing) – "You"
Alex (singing) – "Live"
Melman (singing) – "In"
Gloria (singing) – "A"
Alex (singing) – "Zoo"
Melman (singing) – "You"
Gloria (singing) – "Look"
Alex (singing) – "Like"
Melman (singing) – "A"
Gloria (singing) – "Monkey"
Alex (singing) – "And"
Melman (singing) – "You"
Gloria (singing) – "Smell"
Alex (singing) – "Like"
Melman (singing) – "One"
Gloria (singing) – "Too!"
*They all three laugh, obviously pleased with their performance*
Mason (spoken) – "Well I say!"
*Phil smells his armpits, then faints*
Marty (spoken) – "Well done! You guys are just embarrassing me! And yourself!"
Alex (spoken) – "What are you talking about? We've worked on that all week!"
Gloria (spoken, pushes cake towards Marty) – "Let's go, Let's make a wish baby cakes!"
*Marty 'blows' the candle out*
Alex (spoken) – "What'd you wish for?"
Marty (spoken) – "No, can't tell you that!"
Alex (spoken) – "Come on! Tell!"
Marty (spoken) – "No sirrie! I'm not telling you! It's bad luck, you want some bad luck, I'll blurt it out, but if you wanna be safe."
Gloria (spoken, interrupting) – "Oh Marty, will you just tell us? I mean really, what could happen?"
Marty (spoken) – "Okay, I wished I could go to the wild!"
*Melman 'chokes' on his noisemaker, Gloria starts trying to get it out*
Alex (spoken) – "The wild? Wow!"
Marty (spoken) – "I told you it was bad luck."
Alex (spoken) – "The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea I have ever heard!"
*Gloria gets the noisemaker out of Melman's mouth*
Melman (spoken) – "It's unsanitary, are you sure you're not having a mid-life crisis?"
Marty (spoken) – "I am not having a mid-life crisis Melman, and the penguins are going, so why can't I?"
Alex (spoken) – "The penguins are psychotic!"
Marty (spoken) – "Come on, just imagine going back to nature, back to your roots, clean air, wide open spaces."
Gloria (spoken) – "Well, I hear they have wide open spaces in Connecticut."
Marty (spoken) – "Connecticut?"
Melman (spoken) – "Yeah, what ya gotta do is you gotta go to Grand Central and you gotta take the metro train north."
Marty (spoken) – "So one could take the train? Hypothetically speaking."
Alex (spoken) – "Marty, come on! What would Connecticut have to offer us?"
Melman (spoken) – "Lime disease."
Alex (spoken) – "Thank you Melman. *holds up steak* Look at this Marty, you most certainly do not have this in the wild. This is a highly refined food substance that you do not find in the wild."
Marty (spoken) – "You ever think there might be more to life than steak Alex?"
Alex (spoken, hugging steak) – "Oh, no, he didn't mean that baby, he didn't mean it."
Marty (spoken) – "Doesn't it bother you guys that you don't know anything about life outside of the zoo?"
Gloria (spoken) – "Na."
Melman (spoken) – "Nope."
Alex (spoken) – "Well I mean, come on, that's just one subject."
*Marty sighs sadly*
Marty (spoken) – "Thanks guys. Thanks for the party. It was great! Really."
*He goes to his treadmill and begins to walk on it*
Alex (spoken) – "What's eating him?"
Gloria (spoken) – "Maybe you should talk to him Alex. You know, go over there and give him a little pep talk."
Alex (spoken) – "Hey, I got him the snowglobe! I can't top that!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex."
Melman (spoken) – "I can see where this is going. It's getting late, I guess I'm gonna turn in for the night."
*He goes into his shelter, out of sight of audience*
Gloria (spoken) – "Come on, he's your best friend!"
Alex (spoken) – "All right, All right. Okay."
Gloria (spoken) – "Good night Marty!"
Marty (spoken) – "Good night Gloria!"
*Gloria goes into her shelter, out of sight of sight of audience, Alex goes over to Marty*
Alex (spoken) – "What a day. I mean, it really doesn't get better than this, you know. Oh, it just did! Look, even the stars are out! I bet you couldn't find a star like that out in the wild."
Marty (spoken) – "Helicopter."
Alex (spoken) – "Marty, buddy, Listen. Everyone has days when they think that the grass might be greener somewhere else."
Marty (spoken) – "Alex, look here, I'm ten years old. My life is half over, And I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes."
Alex (spoken, cleverly)
- "Marty, I'm thinking of a song, it's a wonderful song, I'm
sure you're familiar with it!"
Marty (spoken, a bit
frightened) - "Alex, NO!"
Alex (singing
enthusiastically, doing finger thing) - "Da da da da da, da da
da da da, da da da da da da, Start spreading the news, I'm leaving
today, I want to be a part of it, New York, New York."
Marty
(spoken, jokingly, covering ears) - "I'm not listening, la la
la."
Alex (singing, same tone, ignoring Marty) - "These
vagabond shoes, are longing to stray, right through the very heart of
it, New York, New York."
Marty (spoken, irritated) - "I
don't know you!"
Alex (singing, same tone, still ignoring
Marty) - "I wanna wake up, in a city that doesn't sleep, and
find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap!"
Marty (spoken,
confused) - "Heap? What heap?"
Alex (singing, still
ignoring Marty) - "These little town blues, are melting away,
I'll make a brand new start of it, in old New York!"
Marty
(spoken, irritated) - "I don't have any blues man!"
Alex
(singing, still ignoring Marty) - "If I can make it there, I'll
make it anywhere, It's up to you, New York, New York! *spoken* C'mon
Marty! Sing along! I know you know the words!"
Marty
(spoken, unsure) - "Alex really, I don't feel like it."
Alex (singing again, ignoring Marty's comment) - "I want to
wake up in a city that never sleeps."
Marty (spoken,
sarcastically) - "Never sleeps? *scoffs* I'd like to see that!"
Alex (singing, still ignoring) - "And find I'm a number one,
top of the list, king of the hill-"
Marty (spoken,
interrupting Alex) - "What list exactly are you on top of?"
Alex (singing, ignoring the interruption) - "These little
town blues, are melting away, I'm gonna make a brand new start of it,
in old New York! *spoken* Come on Marty! I know you know the words!
Please don't make me sing this by myself!"
Marty (rolling
eyes, singing sarcastically) - "If I can make it there, I'm
gonna make it anywhere!"
Alex and Marty (singing in unison)
- "It's up to you New York, New York!"
*song ends*
Mason (spoken) – "Shut up! Shut up! I'm sleeping here! We're not all nocturnal you know!"
Marty (spoken) – "I'm gonna knock your turnal right off pal!"
Mason (spoken) – "Yeah, you and what army, stripes?"
Alex (spoken) – "You
mess with him, you mess with me, coward! See, Mr. Grumpy Stripes? We
make a great team, you and I, so why would you want to go to
Connecticut?"
Marty (spoken) - "We do make a good team,
Aly-Al, and that's why YOU are coming with me!"
Alex
(spoken, shocked) - "Wha? Whoah, whoah, whoah! Marty, no, nobody
is leaving!"
Marty (spoken, confused) - "Why not?"
Alex (spoken) - "Because, there's, there's too many things
here that are too good to give up, for example... *begins to sing to
up-tempo music* There's the people *two beats* the people *two beats*
cheering us on each and every day."
Marty (spoken,
jealously) - "Cheering you on's more like it."
Alex
(singing, ignoring Marty's comment) - "How could you let the
people go away? Why would you run off all alone, far away from home,
when you have all this here, in Central Park Zoo?"
Marty
(spoken, unsure) - "Alex, man, those people, it's just not
natural, I mean, do you SERIOUSLY think most lions live that way?"
Alex (still singing, still ignoring Marty) - "And then all
the wonderful sounds, in the night, and the cities twinkling lights
there for you, each night through and through, here, in Central Park
Zoo!"
Marty (spoken, frustrated) - "Alex! Seriously,
those lights are electrical man! Haven't you ever wanted to see a
NATURAL star?"
Alex (spoken, as a matter of factly) - "No,
not really!"
Marty (spoken, frustrated) - "Alex,
Really, this is getting ridiculous!"
Alex (singing once
again) - "What about Melman, and Gloria, you wouldn't leave them
would ya? We're a quartet you see, them two, you and me, what would
you do without us three, we're staying here, in Central Park Zoo!"
Marty (spoken, frustrated) - "If you feel that strongly
about it, they can come too the more the merrier!"
Alex
(spoken, also frustrated) - "Marty, have I gotten through to you
yet?"
Marty (spoken, ticked off) - "NO!"
Alex
(spoken, know it allishly) - "Try THIS one on for size! *begins
to sing again* Our special one on one treatment, is the best money
can buy, this is the only place to get that, so why would you leave
that, Marty, why?"
Marty (now singing, but still aggravated)
- "But we're the only animals of our own species in this entire
zoo."
Alex (spoken, laughing) - "So?"
Marty
(singing, frustrated) - "Meaning, there are no other creatures
like us we get to know!"
Alex (singing, happily) - "But
I still have you! There is so much for us here!"
Marty
(singing, ticked off) - "There is NOTHING for us here!"
Alex and Marty (Singing in unison, Marty ticked off, Alex
happily) - "Here, in Central Park Zoo!"
*song ends*
Marty (spoken) – "Well, I guess I'll hit the sack."
Alex (spoken) – "Yeah, me too. Have to rest my voice for tomorrow, seniors day, have to roar extra loud! Give them a little jolt, you know what I'm talking about?"
Marty (spoken) – "Good Night Alex."
*They both go into their shelters out of sight of the audience as the scene ends*
*Scene begins with
Alex, Melman and Gloria are in Central Park Zoo nighttime set, each
in their own cages, sleeping in their shelters, Marty's pen is
noticeably empty. Melman gets up, looks in Marty's cage, then runs
over to Alex's cage*
Alex (spoken, still asleep, sucking thumb) -
"Ahh, my steak, yes, my, my steak, I like a little barbeque
sauce on my, on my steak..."
Melman (spoken) - "Alex,
Alex!"
Alex (spoken, having woken up) - "Huh, wha?"
Melman (spoken) - "You suck your thumb?"
Alex
(spoken) - "What is it Melman?"
Melman (singing) -
"Well, you know how I got this blood infection, I get up every
two hours to pee, that's right, this time I looked into Marty's bed,
which I usually don't do but I did tonight."
Alex (spoken) -
"Melman, what's going on?"
Melman (singing) - "I
didn't see Marty, he's gone. I'm afraid something is wrong."
*Gloria, who was woken by this conversation walks up to her
friends*
Gloria (spoken) - "He's gone? Alex, what did he say
to you? I told you to talk to him!"
Alex (singing) - "I
just don't understand, I talked to him like you planned. He was like
let's go, I was like oh no, and he was like I'm ten years old and
something about black and white stripes."
*Melman goes into
Marty's cage and looks at floor*
Melman (spoken) - "How long
has he been working on this? Marty!"
Gloria (spoken) - "He
wouldn't fit in there! This doesn't make any sense, where would he
go?"
Alex (spoken) - "Connecticut!"
Gloria
(spoken) - "He wouldn't!"
Melman (spoken) - "Oh
no! What are we gonna do? We gotta, we gotta call somebody!"
*Alex grabs phone off hook*
Alex (singing) - "Hello,
missing animals, we've got a lost zebra in the city... you've gotta
find him quickly and *slams phone down* NO! If the people find out
they'll be really mad, and Marty will be transferred far away so
sad."
Gloria (singing) - "You don't bite the hand that
feeds you, I know that's right."
Alex (singing) - "We
gotta go after him tonight, take a tour, a tour of New York! He's
probably lost and cold out there on his own, on his tour of New York
all alone, *spoken* Poor little guy."
*Gloria and Alex climb
out of their cages*
Gloria (spoken) - "Melman, come on."
Melman (spoken) - "You know, one of us should stay here, in
case he comes back."
Gloria (spoken) - "Oh no, Melman,
We're ALL going!"
Alex (spoken) - "What's the fastest
way to Grand Central?"
Melman (spoken) - "You should
take Lexington."
Gloria (spoken) - "Melman!"
Melman (spoken) - "Okay, we should take Lexington."
*As he climbs out of his cage, Mason and Phil run up*
Mason
(singing) - "Can we come? We want to go too, we hear Tom Wolf is
speaking at Lincoln Center, and we want to throw poo!"
Alex
(singing) - "Fine, come along, we're gonna need all the help we
can get on this crazy, stupid, idiotic, insane, dumb, and moronic
tour of New York!"
*all run offstage as curtain closes,
Marty runs onto the left side stage*
Marty (singing) - "This
is the best place I can be, boy am I happy to be me. All the lights
and scenes to see, I should have done this when I was three! I love
my tour, my wonderful tour, my wonderful, amazing, exciting and hair
raising tour, tour of New York!"
*he runs offstage and
Gloria bursts through the door on the right side stage, Alex walks on
after her*
Alex (spoken) - "Are you sure this is the fastest
way to get to Grand Central Station?"
Gloria (spoken) - "I
don't know, that's what Melman said!"
*Melman now runs
through door*
Melman (spoken) - "Hey guys, that bathroom has
some nifty little things you can wash up in and look *holds up toilet
air freshener* free mints!"
Alex (singing) - *knocks 'mint'
out of Melman's hands* "This isn't a field trip Melman, This is
a very serious thing, we have to find Marty, and stop this stupid
fling!"
Gloria (singing) - "Where's the train?"
Alex (singing) - "There it is, let's go aboard, come on, we
don't have very long on this scary, hairy, terrifying, spooky, ooky,
mortifying tour, tour of New York!"
*They run offstage,
Melman grabs 'mint' before he does however. Marty walks back onto
left side stage with a cop horse and his cop*
Horse (spoken) -
"What you gotta do, is you go straight down West and it's there
on your left, after the Vander building, if you hit the Chrysler
building, you've gone too far."
Marty (spoken) - "Thanks
a lot officer!"
Cop (spoken, as he and horse are walking
offstage) - "Yeah, a Zebra, right in front of me, can I shoot
it?"
Marty (singing) - "This is still great, the very
best thing. I love this why can't my friend see what I mean? They
just don't get the idea of my happy, pleasant, satisfying, fun,
exciting, dream realizing tour, I love this tour, man I wish they
were with me on my tour of New York!"
*he runs offstage, on
right side stage Alex, Melman and Gloria are now sitting on a bench,
Alex is reading a newspaper*
Alex (spoken) - "Ahh, Knicks
lost again!"
Melman (spoken) - "Well, what are you
going to do?"
Voice over intercom (spoken) - "Next
stop, Grand Central Station."
Alex (spoken) - "Did that
just say Grand Central Station, or My Aunt's Constipation?"
Gloria (singing) - "This is it, this is out stop. Let's hope
this isn't a flop, I want our friend back just as much as you. He's
such a dork taking this deathly, deadly, ready for dying, terrible,
horrible, ready for crying tour; I hate this tour, our tour of New
York!"
*All three go offstage, they then run onto the main
center stage, which still has its curtain down, this time however
Melman has a hat on that looks like a clock was thrust onto his head.
A few people are onstage as well, all but Nana run off when the
animals arrive.*
Alex (spoken) - "This is an emergency
situation, don't panic!"
Nana (spoken) - "How do you
like this?"
*she 'hits' him in groin with purse*
Alex
(spoken) - "Lady, what is wrong with you?"
Nana
(spoken) - "You're a bad kitty!"
*she runs offstage as
Marty walks onstage*
Marty (spoken) - "Grand Central
Station, it's grand, and it's central! *sings* Dang it, I missed the
express; I guess I didn't pass that test. I'll take the local; it's
for the best, on this, my wonderful tour of New York!"
*Alex
grabs him*
Alex (spoken) - "I got him!"
Gloria
(spoken) - "Oh, thank goodness!"
Melman (spoken) -
"Finally!"
Marty (spoken) - "Guys, I'm fine!"
Alex (spoken) - "You're fine? Oh, he's fine! Oh great, hey,
you hear that? Marty's fine! That's good to know, 'cause I was
wondering *sings* How could you do this to us Marty? I thought we
were your friends, leaving us alone like that. We were sure you're
life would end on this horrible, stupid, tour, your idiotic tour of
New York!"
Marty (spoken) - "What's the big deal? I was
going to be back in the morning!"
Alex (spoken) - "Don't
you EVER do this again, do you hear me?"
Gloria (spoken) -
"Do you hear him?"
Melman (spoken) - "Guys, we're
running out of time."
Gloria (spoken) - "Oh Melman, you
broke their clock?"
Alex (singing) - "I can't believe
you did this, I thought I was your friend! My usual trust in you has
certainly reached its end. We are going back right now; you have some
issues to mend. So I hope that you are overjoyed, I hope that around
you toyed, I hope that you enjoyed your tour, your tour of New York!"
*Spotlight goes on them as the song ends, the people have caught
them. Skipper, Kowalski, Private and Rico who have been sitting on a
bench on the main stage, put down the newspaper in front of them with
their arms up*
Skipper (spoken) – "We've been ratted out boys."
*they all jump off the bench and go to where Melman, Gloria, Alex and Marty are*
Skipper (spoken) – "Cute and cuddly boys, Cute and cuddly."
*A spotlight goes on Phil and Mason, who have been disguised as a person this whole time*
Mason (spoken) – "If you have any poo, fling it now!"
Marty (spoken) – "It's the man! Good evening officers!"
Alex (spoken) – "No, no, you don't talk now, okay? You're not so good with the putting your words together and them coming out good thing. Hey! How you doing? Yeah. You know what, everything's cool. We just had a little situation here, that's all. Little internal situation really. My friend just went a little crazy, It happens to everybody. The city, it gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head."
Marty (spoken) – "Hey! Don't be calling me cuckoo in the head!"
Alex (spoken) – "Just shush! I will handle this!"
*Nana runs out, kicks Alex again, then runs back*
Nana (spoken) – "I got him!"
Alex (spoken) – "Would you give a guy a break? We're just gonna take my little friend back home and forget this whole thing ever happened. Alright? No harm no fowl! Oh, no no, don't be scared. It's me Alex, from the zoo! *he roars, people scream* What's the matter with them?"
*a 'pop' sound is heard*
Alex (spoken, woozily) – "Whoah! I feel really weird. Hey! I love you guys, I love you so much."
*ALL lights in the theater go completely off, and curtain goes down*
Announcer (spoken over intercom system) – "Last night's events at Grand Central Station was an example of what Animal Rights have been shouting about for years. These animals clearly don't belong in captivity. Now they're being sent back to their natural habitat, where they will be able to live their lives in the freedom they so clearly desire."
*Scene ends*
*Scene begins in Ship/Control Room set, Alex, Melman, Gloria and Marty's crates are all on the right side stage in the same formation as they were in the film, the lights are mostly dimmed in the theater at this point, if not totally off, Alex's crate is illuminated from the inside. He is inside.*
Alex (spoken) – "Oh, my head! Where? What? I'm in the box! Oh no! No, no! Not the box! Oh no! They can't transfer me! Not me! I can't breathe, can't breathe, darkness creeping in. Can't breathe, can't breathe, walls closing in around me. So alone, so alone."
*Marty's crate is illuminated from the inside, he is inside.*
Marty (spoken) – "Alex? Alex, are you there?"
Alex (spoken) – "Marty?"
Marty (spoken) – "Yeah! Talk to me buddy!"
Alex (spoken) – "Marty, you're here!"
Marty (spoken) – "What's going on? Are you okay?"
Alex (spoken) – "This doesn't look good, Marty."
*Gloria's crate is illuminated from the inside, she is inside.*
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex, Marty? Is that you?"
Alex (spoken) – "Gloria! You're here too!"
Marty (spoken) – "I am loving the sound of your voice!"
Gloria (spoken) – "What's going on?"
Alex (spoken) – "We're in crates."
Gloria (spoken) – "Oh no."
*Melman's crate is illuminated from the inside, he is inside, on his head, he moves so he is upright*
Melman (spoken) – "Oh, Sleeping just knocks me out."
Alex (spoken) – "Melman!"
Marty (spoken) – "Is that Melman?"
Alex (spoken) – "Are you okay?"
Melman (spoken) – "Yeah, I'm fine. I often doze off while getting an MRI."
Alex (spoken) – "Melman, you're not getting an MRI."
Melman (spoken) – "Cat scan?"
Alex (spoken) – "No! No cat scan! It's a transfer! A zoo transfer!"
Melman (spoken) – "Zoo transfer? Oh no, I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Doctor Goldberg at three o clock."
Gloria (spoken) – "Melman."
Melman (spoken) – "I have prescriptions that need to be filled."
Alex (spoken) – "Calm down Melman."
Melman (spoken) – "No other zoo can afford my medical care!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Melman!"
Melman (spoken) – "I am not going HMO!"
Marty (spoken) – "Easy Melman, it's going to be okay. We are going to be o-kizay."
Alex (spoken) – "No Marty, it's not going to be o-kizay, because of you we're ruined!"
Marty (spoken) – "Because of me? I fail to see how this is my fault."
Gloria (spoken) – "You're kidding, right Marty?"
Alex (spoken) – "You, You ticked off the people! You bit the hand Marty, you bit the hand! I don't know who I am, I don't know who I am, I gotta go find myself in the wild!"
Marty (spoken) – "Hey! I did not ask you to come after me, did I?"
Melman (spoken) – "He does have a point."
Alex (spoken) – "What?"
Melman (spoken) – "I did say we should stay at the zoo. But you guys."
Alex (spoken) – "Melman, just shut it! You're the one that suggested this whole thing to him in the first place!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex, leave Melman out of this please."
Melman (spoken) – "Thank you Gloria. Besides Alex, it wasn't my fault we were transferred!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Melman, shut it. Does anyone feel nauseous?"
Melman (spoken) – "I feel nauseous."
Alex (spoken) – "Melman, you're always nauseous! As for you Marty, I was a star in the greatest city on earth! A king loved by my people!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Let's stop this right now!"
Alex (spoken) – "And you ruined everything!"
Marty (spoken) – "Love? If the people loved you, it was only because they didn't know the real you!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Don't make me come up there, I'll get the whooping on both of ya'll!"
Alex (spoken) – "I thought I knew the real you."
Melman (spoken) – "Let's be calm about this."
Marty (spoken) – "They would hate the real you!"
Melman (spoken) – "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"
*Lights dim as scene ends*
*Scene begins in the Ship/ Control Room set, over on the left side stage, the monkey's crate and penguin's crate are set up, like in the film, spotlights are on them, Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private poke their heads out of holes in their crate, Mason and Phil have a big chunk of the upper half of their crate gone, so they are seeable by the audience*
Skipper (spoken) – "Progress Report."
Kowalski (spoken) – "It's an older code Skipper, I can't make it out."
Skipper (spoken, to chimps) – "You, higher mammal, can you read?"
Mason (spoken) – "No, but Phil can read though, Phil? *translating Phil's sign language* Ship to Kenya Wildlife Preserve, Africa!"
Skipper (spoken) – "Africa? That ain't gonna fly! Rico?"
*Rico makes motions like he's spitting up an oversized paper clip, that is hidden in actuality and uses it to open the crate, once he opens in, Skipper, Rico, Private and Kowalski all run offstage as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in the Ship/Control Room set, on the central stage, the control room is set up, Skipper is sitting in the captains seat, the captain is on the floor, passed out, Private is at a computer trying to break a code, Kowalski is attempting to chart a plot, and Rico is just standing there*
Skipper (spoken) – "Progress Report!"
Private (spoken) – "It's tough Skipper, I don't know the code!"
*Skipper goes over to Private*
Skipper (spoken) – "Don't give me excuses, give me results!"
*He slaps Private, Private continues his work, a green light is illuminated*
Private (spoken) – "I did it!"
Skipper (spoken) – "Let's get this tin can turned around."
*Scene ends as they spin the ship's wheel.*
*Scene begins in Ship/Control Room set, A siren is blaring, Melman, Alex, Marty and Gloria all scream as their crates, now unilluminated are pulled apart and Melman and Gloria's crates are immediately pulled offstage*
Alex (spoken, from inside crate) – "Guys? Gloria! Melman! Marty!"
Marty (spoken) – "Alex!"
Alex (spoken) – "Marty?"
Marty (spoken) – "Alex!"
*Marty's crate is pulled offstage*
Alex (spoken) – "Marty! No, wait! Come back Marty! Don't go."
*Scene ends as Alex's crate is pulled offstage*
*Scene begins on Beach Daytime set, Alex's crate is pushed onstage, he gets it open and climbs out, then begins walking around, looking for his friends*
Alex (spoken) – "Marty? Melman? Gloria? Marty? Melman? Gloria? Marty Melman Gloria, Marty, Gelman, Regis and Kelly."
*Melman walks onstage, with his crate still on him, he has only managed to get his feet out of it.*
Melman (spoken) – "Hey! Help! Get me out of this thing! Somebody? Hello! Get me out of this thing right now!"
Alex (spoken) – "Melman!"
Melman (spoken) –
"Alex, is that you?"
*Alex runs over to him*
Alex (spoken) – "Don't worry Melman, I got you."
*Melman falls on the ground, laying down, with Crate still on, but now, at least his head is free*
Alex (spoken) – "Hang on a second, wait right there! *picks up tree* Aha!"
Melman (spoken) – "Alex, what are you doing?"
Alex (spoken) – "Getting you out of the box!"
*He holds tree like he's going to use it as a battering ram to get Melman out*
Melman (spoken) – "Alex, Stop!"
Alex (spoken) – "Giraffe Quarterback!"
Melman (spoken) – "Wait! Wait! Come on! Wait!"
Alex (spoken) – "Here comes Alex! Hold still!"
Melman (spoken) – "Wait! Wait! Wait!"
Alex (spoken) – "Hold still!"
Melman (spoken) – "No! Come on! Come on!"
Alex (spoken) – "Here I come!"
*Gloria's crate is pushed onstage*
Melman (spoken) – "Look! Look! It's Gloria! It's Gloria! Hey, It is Gloria!"
*Melman faints as Alex runs over to Gloria's crate, He knocks the first five beats of 'Shave and a Haircut' on her crate, Gloria knocks the last two beats back to him from inside the crate, bursting the crate open with the last one, causing Alex to fall on top of Melman's crate, breaking it open. Melman, who has now woken up, is hit on chin with a board, and is knocked out again, Gloria climbs out of her crate*
Alex (spoken) – "Gloria!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex!"
*She runs up and hugs him, Melman wakes up and walks up to them too, Marty, on a table carried by dolphins is brought in from the back of the audience*
Alex (spoken) – "Marty!"
*The dolphins deposit Marty onstage*
Marty (spoken) – "You know, I don't really have anything on me right now. I'll have to get to you later."
*The dolphins do their characteristic laugh*
Marty (spoken) – "*imitates laugh* to you too!"
*The dolphins go back out through the audience, out of sight*
Alex (spoken) – "Marty! Marty!"
Marty (spoken) – "Alex!"
*run towards each other*
Alex (spoken) – "Marty!"
Marty (spoken) – "Alex!"
Alex (spoken, angrily) – "Marty!"
Marty (spoken, worriedly) – "Alex?"
Alex (spoken, angrily) – "Marty!"
Marty (spoken) – "Oh sugar honey iced tea!"
*Alex, who has now reached Marty begins chasing him around in a circle*
Alex (spoken) – "Marty, I'm going to kill you!"
Marty (spoken) – "Hey! Hold on! Hold on!"
*Gloria, laughing awkwardly, grabs Melman, Marty and Alex and pulls them into hug in the same style as the film*
Gloria (spoken) – "Look at us! We're all here together, safe and sound!"
Melman (spoken) – "Yep, here we are! Where exactly is here?"
*Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria get looks of terror on their face as they turn around, still in the hug to look at the jungle behind them*
Melman (spoken) – "San Diego."
*Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria all get out of the hug*
Alex (spoken) – "San Diego?"
Melman (spoken) – "White sandy beaches, cleverly simulated natural environment. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo. Complete with fake rocks *Taps a rock with his foot* Wow! That looks real!"
Alex (spoken) – "San Diego? What could be worse than San Diego?"
Marty (spoken) – "I dunno. This place is Crack-a-lackin! Oh I could hang here, I could hang here!"
*Alex begins chasing Marty again*
Alex (spoken) – "I'm gonna kill you Marty!"
Marty (spoken) – "Take it easy! Take it easy!"
Alex (spoken) – "And then string you!"
Marty (spoken) – "Calm down!"
Alex (spoken) – "Then take you and clone you, and kill all your clones!"
Marty (spoken) – "Can we take a time out?"
Alex (spoken) – "And then, I'm never talking to you again."
*Gloria grabs Alex and holds him still*
Gloria (spoken) – "Stop it! Look, we're just gonna find the people, get checked in, and have this whole mess straightened out!"
*She lets go of Alex*
Alex (spoken) – "Oh great, this is just great. San Diego! Now I have to compete with Shamu, and his smug little grin! I can't top that! Can't top it! I'm ruined! I'm gone! I'm out of the business! It's your fault Marty! You ruined me!"
*Music starts softly playing*
Marty (spoken) – "Come on Alex. Do you honestly think I intended for all of this to happen? You want me to say that I'm sorry? Okay, I'm…"
Alex (spoken, listening to music) – "Shhh!"
Marty (spoken, offended) – "He just shushed me!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Marty look, you just gotta be a little bit more…"
Alex (spoken, still listening to music) – "Shhh!"
Gloria (spoken, offended) – "Don't you shush me!"
Alex (spoken) – "Do you hear that? Don't you hear that?"
*He guides Melman, Gloria and Marty offstage as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in Lemur Clearing set, Alex, Melman Gloria and Marty all walk onstage, with Alex in the back*
Marty (spoken) – "I hear it now!"
Alex (spoken) – "Where there's music, there's people! We'll go right to the head!"
Melman (spoken) – "A sidewalk would be nice."
Alex (spoken) – "Yeah, what a dump, they should call this place the San Dilameo Zoo! First they tell you hey, we've got this great open area thing! Let the animals run around for a while! Next thing you know, you've got long hair and everyone's hugging everybody!"
Marty (spoken) – "This place kind of grows on you!"
Alex (spoken) – "This way guys, come on!"
*He wanders offstage, the music gets louder and all the lemurs, about twenty of them, all played by child actors sans Julien come onstage and dance around, a leaf barrier separates Melman, Gloria and Marty from the lemurs*
Gloria (spoken) – "Okay, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles everyone, Let's get it together. Is that the best you can do Melman?"
Melman (spoken) – "Oh I'm not smiling, it's gas."
Gloria (spoken) – "Okay well great, let's make gas look good."
*She lifts up barrier and the three get a glimpse of the lemurs*
Gloria (spoken) – "It's not people! It's animals!"
Melman (spoken) – "California animals! Dude!"
*Julien, child actor,
walks out from behind tree in middle of clearing and lemurs pick him
up as he begins to sing*
Julien (singing) - "I like to move
it, move it, I like to Move it, move it, I like to move it, move it,
ya like to!"
All Lemurs (singing) - "MOVE IT!"
Julien (spoken, to the rhythm) - "All girls all over the
world, original King Julien, pon ya case man! I love how all the
girls a move their body, and when ya move your body, uno move nice
and sweet and sassy alright? *begins singing again* Woman ya cute,
and you don't need no make up, original cute body you meek man mud
up, woman ya cute and you don't need no make up, original cute body
you a meek man mud up, Woman! Physically fit, physically fit,
physically physically physically woman! Physically fit physically
fit, physically physically physically physically. Woman ya nice,
sweet fantastic, big ship pon the ocean that a big titanic, woman you
nice, sweet energetic, big ship pon the ocean that a big titanic
woman ya nice sweet fantastic, big ship pon the ocean that a big
titanic, Woman you nice sweet fantastic, big ship pon the ocean that
a big titanic WOMAN! I like to move it move it, I like to move it,
move it, I like to move it, move it, ya like to!"
All Lemurs
(singing) - "MOVE IT!"
Julien (singing) - "Woman
ya cute and you don't need no make up, original cute body you a meek
man mud up, woman ya cute and you don't need no make up, original
cute body you a meek man mud up, eyeliner- pon ya face, a meek man
mud up, nose powder pon ya face, a meek man mud up, pluck ya eyebrow,
pon ya, pon ya face a meek man mud up, gal ya lipstick, pon ya face a
meek man mud up, woman ya nice broad face and ya nice hip, make man
flip and bust them lip, woman ya nice and energetic, big ship pon the
ocean that a big titanic, woman ya nice broad face and and ya nice
hip, make men flip and bust them lip, big ship pon the ocean that a
big titanic, WOAH! BOP! WHOAH! BOP! WHOAH! BOP! WHOAH BOP! I like to
move it, move it, he like to move it move it, she like to move it
move it, you like to!"
All Lemurs (singing) - "MOVE
IT!"
Julien (singing) - "We like to move it, move it,
you like to move it move it, I like...*spoken* Oh I did I, Have I
done I? Did I do I like? I think I did I like... we? What about we?
They? They? I did they. Oh, I got it, I got it, I got a new one...
Them? No not them, did I say them or not? *singing* Them like to move
it mov *speaking again* I'm gonna say them! *singing again* Them like
to move it move it, we like to move it move it, *speaking again* Umm
wait, there's gotta be another one, we... we... nope... oh us! Can we
do us like to? *singing again* Us like to move it, move it *spoken*
that's the one! *singing again* Us like to move it move it, us like
to move it move it, us like to..."
All Lemurs (singing) -
"MOVE IT!"
Julien (screaming to the rhythm) - "MOVE
IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! *now spoken* Okay
then, wanna hear, I just wanna tell you a little story this little
story that my daddy used to tell me he was a king as well, I was
born, probably about sixty eight years ago, over by that tree over
there, yeah. And I remember, things changed a lot in those days in
Madagascar, it wasn't so commercial, you know, there wasn't all the
fuss about who's got the latest tree, and what leaves are you
wearing, and who's got the the latest fur on their back, you know,
those days it was just me and a couple of the others you know, doing
the jungle boogie you know, *singing* Jungle boogie, Jungle boogie,
Whoah Whoah Whoah Whoah Whoah Whoah Whoah! I like to..."
All
Lemurs (singing) - "MOVE IT!"
Julien (spoken) - "You
really think this is never gonna end, cuz it is, 3...2...1 *pause,
and after about 5 seconds* Not bad eh? I like it!"
*A new instrumental
song begins, the lemurs continue dancing*
Gloria (spoken) –
"What kind of zoo is this?"
Melman (spoken) – "I just saw twenty six health code violations!"
Marty (spoken, dancing along) – "I'm loving San Diego! This place is off the shizaam!"
Melman (spoken) – "Twenty seven!"
Marty (spoken, still dancing) – "I could get used to this!"
Gloria (spoken, looking around) – "Wait, where's Alex? What happened to him? He was right behind us, wasn't he right behind us?"
Marty (spoken, still dancing) – "I dunno where he's at but he's missing one heck of a party!"
*All music and dancing stops suddenly as six Foosa jump out of the orchestra pit and onto the stage, chaos ensues as all Lemurs sans Mort scream and run and try to find hiding places*
Random Lemur 1 (spoken) – "The Foosa! The Foosa! The Foosa are attacking!"
*Alex walks onstage over to his pals, with a spider web on him, he shakes it off*
Alex (spoken) – "I hate spider webs! Yeah, thanks a lot guys, thanks for waiting up! I appreciate it!"
*He walks past the barrier up to the Foosa who, as a result of the other Lemurs hiding in a spot visible by audience, have taken Mort, child actor, and are pushing him between each other.*
Alex (spoken) – "Hi, we just arrived from New York and we're looking for a supervisor. Because we've been sitting on that beach back there for hours and nobody's bothered to show up. I don't know how things normally run around here but there's obviously been some sort of major screw up, which is cool. So if you could just point us in the direction of the offices or…"
*A spider puppet goes up to Alex*
Spider (spoken) – "Well howdy doo!"
*Alex screams, causing Foosa to scream and run offstage, Mort runs to Julien's side*
Alex (spoken) – "Spider! Spider!
Julien (spoken) – "Maurice, did you see that?"
Maurice (spoken) – "He scared the Foosa away!"
Alex (spoken, as Gloria is using a stick to try and beat the puppet, which is now gone) – "Get it! Get it!"
Mort (spoken) – "Julien, what are they? What are they?"
Julien (spoken) – "They are aliens, savage aliens. From the savage future!"
Maurice (spoken) – "They've come to kill us! *Mort cries* And take our women! *Mort cries harder, putting his head on Julien's feet*"
Julien (spoken, pushing Mort up) – "Get up Mort! Do not be near the king's feet okay?"
*Mort giggles embarrassedly*
Julien (spoken) – "Shh, we're hiding. Be quiet everyone. Including me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again!"
Alex (spoken) – "Stop! Stop! I think you got it!"
Melman (spoken) – "Yeah, she got it."
Alex (spoken, shivering) – "Ugh! I hate spiders!"
Gloria (spoken) – "It's okay, it's gone."
Mort (spoken) – "They're savages!"
*he cries again, and puts his head on Julien's feet, again, Julien quickly pushes him up*
Julien (spoken) –
"The feet! I told you! Didn't I tell him about the feet?"
Maurice
(spoken) – "He did tell you about the feet."
*Mort giggles embarrassedly*
Julien (spoken) – "Wait! I have a plan!"
Maurice (spoken) – "Really?"
Julien (spoken) – "I have devised a cunning test to see if these are savage killers."
*He pushes Mort out of the hiding place, Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria see him, and walk over to him*
Marty (spoken) – "Hi there!"
Alex (spoken) – "You let me handle it. Alex handles it. Marty does nothing. *overemphasizes* Hi there!"
*Mort begins to cry*
Alex (spoken) – "Oh sorry! No! No!"
Melman (spoken) – "Alex, what did you do?"
Alex (spoken) – "Stop, stop, it's okay. It's okay, I'm just a silly, just a silly lion."
*dances to emphasize his 'silliness' causing Mort to cry even harder, Gloria kneels down in front of Mort*
Gloria (spoken) – "Oh you poor little baby. Did that big mean lion scare you?"
Mort (spoken, cutely) – "Uh huh!"
Gloria (spoken) – "He did? He's a big bad old puddy tat isn't he? *opens arms* Come on, Momma hold you!"
*Mort runs into her arms, she envelopes him in a hug*
Melman (spoken) – "They are so cute from a reasonable distance."
Gloria (spoken) – "You are the sweetest little thing. I just wanna dunk him in my coffee!"
Julien (spoken) – "They're just a bunch of pansies!"
Maurice (spoken) – "I don't know. There's still something about that one with the crazy hair that I find suspicious."
Julien (spoken) – "Nonsense Maurice! Come on everybody! Let's go and meet the pansies!"
*All the lemurs run out of the hiding place, Gloria lets go of Mort and stands back up, Maurice walks up in front*
Maurice (spoken) – "Presenting your royal highness, out illustrious King Julien self proclaimed lord of the lemurs etc. etc. hooray everybody!"
*Julien comes out from behind the bright bird feathers he has been standing behind*
Marty (spoken) – "This guy's got style!"
Alex (spoken) – "What's he like, king of the Guinea Pigs?"
Melman (spoken) – "I think it's a squirrel."
Julien (spoken) – "Welcome giant pansies! Please feel free to bask in my glow!"
Alex (spoken) – "Definitely a squirrel."
Melman (spoken) – "Yep, squirrel."
Julien (spoken) – "We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the Foosa."
Gloria (spoken) – "The Hoosa?"
Julien (spoken) – "The Foosa. They're always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off."
Alex (spoken) – "Yes, sounds good. Look, we're just trying to find where the people are."
Maurice (spoken) – "Oh my! What big teeth you have! Man!"
Julien (spoken) – "Shame on you Maurice! Can't you see that you have insulted the freak? You must tell me, who the heck are you?"
Alex (spoken) – "Well, I'm Alex. The Alex. And this is Gloria, Marty and Melman."
Julien (spoken) – "And where are you giants from?"
Alex (spoken) – "Well, we're from New York and we…"
*Julien puts his hand up to stop Alex*
Julien (spoken) – "All hail, the New York giants!"
All Lemurs (cheering) – "New York giants!"
Alex (spoken) – "What are they? Some sort of inbreeding program? I say we just gotta ask these bozos where the people are!"
Julien (spoken) – "Excuse me, we bozos have the people of course."
Melman (spoken) – "The bozos have the people!"
Alex (spoken) – "Oh, well, great! Good!"
Julien (spoken, pointing up to a skeleton in tree) – "They're up there. Don't you just love the people? Not a very lively bunch though."
Alex (spoken) – "So, do you have any alive people?"
Julien (spoken) – "No, only dead ones."
Maurice (spoken) – "I mean, if we had a lot of alive people here, it wouldn't be called the wild now, would it?"
Marty (spoken, happily) – "The wild?"
Alex (spoken) – "Hold up there a second. You mean like, live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf type wild?"
Julien (spoken) – "Who wipes?"
Gloria (spoken) – "Oy vey!"
Maurice (spoken) – "Oy vey everybody!"
All Lemurs (cheering) – "Oy vey!"
Alex (spoken) – "Would you excuse me for a moment?"
*he runs offstage, Melman, Gloria and Marty follow him as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in the beach daytime set, Alex runs onstage*
Alex (spoken) – "Get me out of here! We gotta get out of here!"
*Gloria runs onstage and grabs him*
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex!"
Alex (spoken) – "Help!"
Gloria (spoken) – "What are you doing?"
Alex (spoken) – "I'm swimming back to New York! I know I can't swim but I have to try!"
Gloria (spoken) – "You're right, you can't swim! There's other ways!"
*Melman runs onstage with vines on his head*
Melman (spoken) – "Nature! It's all over me, get it off! I can't see! I can't see!"
*Gloria, while still holding Alex, pulls the vines off of his head*
Melman (spoken) – "I can see!"
*Marty comes dancing
out onto the stage, doing summersaults, jumps, flips, etc... The
actor being Marty needs to go ALL OUT for this performance!*
Marty
(singing at the top of his lungs, jovially) - "Born free, na na
na na na na, To be finally born free *pauses, then after a second of
thinking* To be born free! Born free, as free as the wind is, the
rain and the sky is, they all are born free! Born free, where noone
can diss you, all the hot girls kiss you, because you're born free!
Born free, na na na na na na, I don't know the words, but I'm born
free!"
*He goes into a split for his 'big finish'. Once he
notices that Alex, Marty and Melman were watching him with 'what
the?' looks on their faces this entire time he blushes, Gloria, who
is still holding Alex, shakes her head*
Gloria (spoken) – "Okay look, there's obviously just been a little mistake. I'm sure the people didn't dump us here on purpose, as soon as they realize what has happened, they'll come looking for us, right?"
Alex (spoken) – "Yeah, right!"
*Gloria finally lets go of him*
Gloria (spoken) – "You know something? I bet they're already on their way!"
*lights dim as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in Boat/Control Room set, Skipper, Private, Kowalski, and Rico are all in the Control Room area on the left side stage, driving the boat.*
Skipper (spoken) – "Well, we're getting close men. Looks like it's gonna be ice cold sushi for breakfast!"
*The penguins cheer as
music starts up*
Skipper (singing) - "When we're in
Antarctica, its going to be great, lot's and lots of fish to eat will
be upon our plate!"
Skipper, Private, and Kowalski (singing
in unison) - "Antarctica, the place we'll call our home,
Antarctica, where we are free to roam."
Kowalski (singing) -
"Six months of daylight means tons of time to research... in-"
Skipper, Private, and Kowalski (singing in unison) - "Antarctica,
the place we'll call our home, Antarctica, where we are free to
roam."
Private (singing) - "The southern lights will
lull us to sleep when it is time for bed in -"
Skipper,
Private, and Kowalski (singing in unison) - "Antarctica, the
place we'll call our home, Antarctica, where we are free to roam."
Rico (spoken) - "Kaboom?"
Skipper (spoken) - "Yes
Rico, when we're in Antarctica, you can make things go kaboom all you
want!"
Skipper, Private and Kowalski (singing in unison) -
"Antarctica, the place we'll call our home, Antarctica, where we
are free to roam."
Skipper (singing) - "There will be
no people to boss us around, it will be great in-"
Skipper,
Private and Kowalski (singing in unison) - "Antarctica, the
place we'll call our home, Antarctica, where we are free to roam."
Kowalski (singing) - "No other crazy animals to distracts us
from our work in-"
Skipper, Private and Kowalski (singing in
unison) - "Antarctica, the place we'll call our home,
Antarctica, where we are free to roam."
Private (singing) -
"We will have fun to the end, there'll be other penguins to
befriend in-"
Skipper, Private and Kowalski (singing in
unison) - "Antarctica, the place we'll call our home,
Antarctica, where we are free to roam."
Rico (spoken) -
"Kaboom?"
Skipper (spoken) - "Rico! I told you
already; wait until we're in Antarctica, BE PATIENT comrade!"
Skipper, Private and Kowalski (singing in unison) - "Antarctica,
the place we'll call our home, Antarctica, we're there so let's all
roam!"
*Penguins all cheer, even Rico, as they leave the
boat control room set on the left side stage and enter the main
center stage where the Antarctica set is present, lights are dimmed,
wind sounds are going, etc*
Skipper (singing) - "This place,
is not what I imagined at all, is this really-"
Skipper,
Private and Kowalski (singing in unison) - "Antarctica, the
place that we'll call home, Antarctica, where we are free to roam."
Kowalski (singing) - "Where is the sunlight, I can't find it
at all in-"
Skipper, Private and Kowalski (singing in
unison) - "Antarctica, the place that we'll call home,
Antarctica, where we are free to roam."
Private (singing) -
"The wind is causing me to fall, also, I can't see anything at
all in-"
Skipper, Private and Kowalski (singing in unison) -
"Antarctica, the place that we'll call home, Antarctica, where
we are free to roam."
Rico (spoken) - "Kaboom?"
Skipper (spoken) - "No Rico, I think it's too darn cold to
kaboom anything here!"
Skipper, Private and Kowalski
(singing in unison) - "Antarctica, we're freezing of our butts,
Antarctica-"
Private (spoken) - *Looks around a bit... then
speaks* "Well this place sucks!"
*lights dim and
curtain goes down as song and scene ends*
*Scene begins in the
Beach Nighttime set, Alex, Melman and Gloria are on stage, Melman is
sitting in a grave made by indenting the stage*
Melman (singing)
- "Since I'm left to die, on this island, So cruel and wild, I
just can't take it, this natures to much for this giraffe to bear, at
least I will be out of your hair and I can rest in peace, rest in
peace. Gloria will get a third of my estate, she can choose which
third, just choose fast I don't have time to wait, I'll be gone soon,
up past the moon, and I can finally rest in peace. Marty also gets a
third, this is kind of his fault, but I have the last word. He is
still my friend, so he deserves this prize while I finally rest in
peace. Alex will get a third as well, which third, only he can tell
*Alex's part of the will is pulled offstage, spoken* Oh, sorry Alex!
*singing again* But you will still get something while I rest in
peace."
*Marty walks onstage*
Marty (spoken) – "Hey! A latrine! Nice work Melman, Outdoor plumbing!"
Alex (spoken) – "No, it's not a latrine, it's a grave! You sent Melman to his grave! Are you happy?"
Marty (spoken) – "Oh come on! This isn't the end! This is a whole new beginning! This could be the best thing that's every happened to us!"
Alex (spoken) – "No, no, no, no no. This is not the best thing that's ever happened to us!"
Melman (spoken) – "Yeah! You abused the power of the birthday wish and brought this bad luck on all of us! Why did you tell your wish? You're not supposed to do that!"
Marty (spoken) – "Wait a minute, I didn't want to tell you, remember? You guys made me tell you!"
Melman (spoken) – *scoffs* "Oh, yeah!"
*Alex grabs a tree and begins to make a line on the ground separating him, Gloria and Melman from Marty*
Marty (spoken) – "Besides, this isn't bad luck! This is good luck! Look around! There's no fences, no schedules. This place is beautiful!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Okay, this is ridiculous."
Alex (spoken) – "This is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can jump and prance around like a magical pixie horse, and do whatever the heck you wanna do all day long. And this, this is the good side of the island, for those who love New York and care about going home."
Marty (spoken) – "Come on."
Alex (spoken, stopping Marty from stepping over onto their side) – "No, No, Back, back!"
Gloria (spoken) – "You know what? This isn't good."
Marty (spoken) – "Okay! You all have your side, and I'll have mine. And if you need me, I'll be over here, on the FUN side of the island, having a good old time!
*He walks over to the other side of the stage*
Alex (spoken) – "This is the fun side! This is the fun side! We're all gonna have a great time surviving until we get home! I love this side! This side is the best! That side stinks! Your on the Jersey side of this sess pool!"
Melman (spoken) – "Well now what do we do?"
Alex (spoken) – "Don't worry Melman, I have a plan to get us rescued!"
*Lights dim as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in the Beach Nighttime set, Marty is over on the left side of the stage, with his stuff, Alex, Melman and Gloria are on the right side, Alex has the Lady Liberty statue onstage, Melman is still in his grave, and Gloria is modeling for the statue.*
Alex (spoken) – "I can't wait to see the look on Marty's face when he sees this! Just look at him! He's helpless without us!"
*Marty puts up roof on his shelter, it looks amazing, Alex looks at a basketball on his sculpture*
Alex (spoken) – "Shut up Spalding!"
Gloria (spoken) – "I've been standing here for hours man! How long do I have to pose like this?"
Alex (spoken) – "She is finito! I defy any rescue boat within a million miles to miss this baby! When the moment is right, we will ignite the Beacon of Liberty, and be rescued from this awful nightmare! Whaddya think? Preety cool huh? How's the liberty fire going Melman?"
*Melman, who is holding two wooden boards is having problems with the fire*
Melman (spoken) – "Great! Idiot!"
Alex (spoken) – "I heard that!"
Melman (spoken) – "Why can't we just borrow some of Marty's fire?"
Alex (spoken) – "That's wild fire! We're not using wild fire on lady liberty! Now rub Melman!"
Melman (spoken) – "I've been doing that! I can't do it! I just can't! I can't do it!"
*He slams boards down in front of him, and pyrotechnic effects create a small fire on them.*
Melman (spoken) – "Fire! Fire! *scared* Fire! Fire! AAAH!"
*He lights the lady liberty on fire, in an even more impressive pyrotechnic effect, then goes and dumps boards in a hidden water container, putting them out*
Gloria (spoken) – "Jump Alex! Jump! Don't worry, cats always land on their -"
*Alex jumps off of statue, landing on his face*
Gloria (spoken) – "Face? Man, what kind of cat are you?"
*The pyrotechnics on the lady liberty turn off, leaving it charred and nasty*
Alex (spoken) – "You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!"
Melman (spoken) – "Can we go to the fun side now?"
Gloria (spoken) – "Come on Melman."
*Melman and Gloria walk over to Marty as the scene ends*
*Scene
begins with all the lemurs in the Lemur Clearing set, Maurice is
standing by the throne, which has it's back facing the audience*
Maurice (spoken) - "Hey! Hey! Everyone calm down! *singing*
Now presenting his majesty... King Julien!"
*Throne spins
around to reveal that Julien is sitting in it*
Julien (singing) -
"Hello Everybody! Now, what do you think of the New York Giant
Pansy Freaks?"
*One lemur raises his hand*
Julien
(spoken) - "Yes Willy?"
Willy (spoken) - "I like
them!"
Mort (spoken) - "I like them! I like them! I
liked them first. Before I even met them I liked them!"
Julien
(spoken) - "Yes, yes."
Mort (spoken) - "You hate
them compared to how much I like them!"
Julien (spoken) -
"Oh, shut up! You're so annoying!"
*Mort giggles
embarrassedly*
Julien (singing) - "Now as long as we can
remember, the Foosa have been our enemy!"
*Lemurs all
scream*
Random Lemur 1 (spoken) - "The Foosa!"
Random
Lemur 2 (spoken) - "The Foosa are attacking!"
Random
Lemur 3 (spoken, holding up "To Serve Lemur" book) - "It's
a cookbook!"
Maurice (spoken) - "Ya'll, the Foosa
aren't attacking us this very instant."
All Lemurs (spoken)
- "Oh."
Maurice (spoken) - "Honestly, can a guy
get a good song in without being interrupted? Continue, Julien.
Julien (singing) - "So, this is my plan, we will have Mr.
Alex protecting us! He'll chase away the Foosa, so we don't make a
fuss! It'll be great to see what we can do, with Mr. Alex, we won't
be Foosa food!"
*Lemurs all cheer*
Maurice (singing) -
"Julien, I don't think that plan is gonna work. Why were the
Foosa scared of Alex? Did they he want to hurt? I can't help but
feel the heebie jeebies when he's around, I think this is a really
bad plan, I think that it will go down!"
Julien (spoken) -
"Maurice, you did not raise your hand, therefore your heinous
comment will be stricken from the record."
*Notetaking Lemur
takes a sheet of paper off of his/her notepad, crumples it up and
throws it to the side*
Julien (spoken) - "Does anyone else
have the heebie jeebies? No? Good! So shut up! *singing* When the
freaks wake up they will find they are in a paradise! *spoken* Now,
who would like a cookie?"
*all lemurs cheer as curtain goes
down and song and scene ends*
*Scene begins in Beach Nighttime set, Melman and Gloria are sitting on chairs In Marty's hut on the 'fun side' or left side of the stage, Alex is on the right side or 'good' side of the stage, sitting in front of his newest plan, a huge "HELP" made of tree trunks. Marty walks over to him*
Marty (spoken) – "Al, Melman and Gloria are over there having a good time. There's room on the fun side for one more."
Alex (spoken) – "No thanks."
Marty (spoken) – "Look, I've been thinking. Maybe if you give this place a chance, I dunno, you might even enjoy yourself."
Alex (spoken) – "Marty, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I just wanna go home."
Marty (spoken) – "Could you just give it a chance? Think about it. It really isn't the fun side without you."
*He walks back over to the 'fun' side, the tree trunks making the circle part of the "P" in "HELP" fall off, making Alex's "HELP" sign say "HELL" instead. Alex buries his face in his hands as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in Beach Nighttime set, Marty, Melman and Gloria are all sitting inside Marty's hut on the 'fun' or left side of the stage, Alex walks over to the doorway into the hut, and knocks on it*
Marty (spoken) – "Shh, it's him! *he goes to the door* Who is it?"
Alex (spoken, sarcastically) – "It's the pizza man! Who the heck do you think it is?"
*Marty opens the door a crack*
Marty (spoken) – "Can I help you?"
Alex (spoken) – "Can I come to the fun side?"
Marty (spoken) – "Beg your pardon?"
Alex (spoken) – "I've been kind of a jerk Marty. But I've been thinking about what you said and, I'm sorry."
*Marty opens the door completely*
Marty (spoken) – "Welcome to Casa Del Wild! Take a load off!"
*Alex walks inside, Marty closes door*
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex!"
Marty (spoken) – "Mi casa es su casa!"
Alex (spoken) – "Very impressive!"
*Marty runs behind his bar, picks up a tray with four half-coconuts on it, he gives one each to Melman and Gloria then walks up to Alex*
Marty (spoken) – "Here, have a drink! It's on the house!"
*Alex takes the cup; Marty takes one for himself and puts the tray back on the bar. Alex takes a sip then spits it out*
Alex (spoken) – "This is sea water!"
*Marty takes a drink and spits it out*
Marty (spoken) – "Oh, you don't swallow it. It's just temporary till the plumbing gets done."
*Alex, Melman and Gloria put their drinks down, with concerned looks on their faces*
Marty (spoken) – "Hey, you all look hungry! How would you like some of nature's goodness?"
Gloria (spoken) – "You have food?"
Marty (spoken) – "The fun side special, coming right up!"
*He runs back behind the bar and takes up this other tray that has four sticks with green fruit roll ups on it*
Marty (spoken) – "Seaweed, on a stick!"
Melman (spoken) – "Seaweed?"
Marty (spoken) – "On a stick! Won't love it till you try it!"
*Melman, Gloria and Alex each take one, Melman and Gloria eat theirs, pleased looks on their faces, Marty eats his with the same reaction. Alex however, eats his, and acts like it's the most disgusting thing he's ever eaten*
Gloria (spoken) – "So good."
Marty (spoken) – "Thanks! It does kinda hit the spot doesn't it?"
*Alex is still spitting out the remaining flavor on his tongue*
Marty (spoken) – "Well, maybe it could use a little lemon."
Alex (spoken) – "No, it's great! Really, it's great! Doesn't get any better than this!"
Marty (spoken) – "Oh, but it does! Check this out!"
*Part of the roof of the hut opens up, the Alex, Melman, Gloria and Marty all look up out of the hole*
Melman (spoken) – "Wow!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Would you look at that!"
Alex (spoken) – "It's like billions and billions of helicopters."
Marty (spoken) – "Oh! A shooting star! Make a wish, quick!"
Alex (spoken) – "How about a nice, big, juicy steak?"
Marty (spoken) – "You know what Alex? I promise, I'll find you that steak tomorrow, if it kills me!"
Alex (spoken) – "Thanks Marty!"
Melman (spoken) – "It's getting late, I guess I'm gonna hit the sack."
*He walks over to the bed area of the hut and lays down*
Gloria (spoken) – "I think I'm gonna hit the sack too, good night everyone."
*Gloria, Alex and Marty all walk over to the bed area of the hut and lay down, after a few seconds, Alex, obviously in a dream takes Marty's tail and puts it in his mouth, Marty immediately wakes up and notices*
Marty (spoken) – "Alex!"
*Alex wakes up*
Marty (spoken) – "What are you doing?"
*Alex quickly spits Marty's tail out of his mouth and acts like he was counting the stripes on it*
Alex (spoken) – "twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty. Thirty black and only twenty nine white. Looks like your black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved, good night!"
*Alex and Marty go back to sleep and the curtain falls as the scene ends*
*Scene begins with the curtains remaining down, Julien and Maurice walk onstage*
Julien (spoken) – "You see Maurice, Mr. Alex was grooming his friend. He's clearly a tender loving thing. How can you have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex? Look at him! He's so cute, and plushy!"
Maurice (spoken) – "I don't think he was grooming him Julien! It looked more like he was tasting him to me!"
Julien (spoken) – "Suit yourself, no matter. I don't care! Soon we will put my excellent plan into action. All we have to do is wait until they are deep in their sleep. *waits for five seconds* HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE?"
*he storms offstage, with Maurice following him as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in the Lemur Clearing set, all the lemurs, including Maurice, Julien and Mort are crowded around the still sleeping Marty, Alex, Melman and Gloria, Alex is sucking his thumb, Julien walks up to him*
Julien (spoken) – "Wake up Mr. Alex. Wake up Mr. Alex! Rise and shining! Wakey, wakey Mr. Alex! Wake up Mr. Alex!"
*Alex wakes up*
Julien (spoken) – "You suck your thumb?"
*Marty, Melman and Gloria wake up*
Marty (spoken) – "What the heck is going on?"
Gloria (spoken) – "What is this?"
Julien (spoken) – "Don't be alarmed giant freaks. While you were sleeping, we simply took you to our little corner, of heaven. Welcome, to Madagascar!"
Alex (spoken) – "Madawhoha?"
Melman (spoken) – "What?"
Julien (spoken) – "Not Whoha, Ascar!"
Alex (spoken) – "Marty, it's…"
Marty (spoken) – "Just like my mural, back at the zoo!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Oh no fellas, that's the real deal right there!"
Julien (spoken) – "Look at that! That's not a bad view!"
Alex (spoken) – "I mean, that's the thing that you were always looking at, but it's actually there, that's like the real version of…"
Marty (spoken) – "How about a run? Let's get our blood pumping, Get those lungs breathing all this fresh air, who's with me?"
*Julien raises his hand*
Alex (spoken) – "Ah, no. I really, I don't think I can. *tags Marty* You're it!"
*they begin to run around, playing*
Marty (spoken) – "Hey, wanna play around? *tags Alex* got you there!"
Alex (spoken) – "Come here!"
Marty (spoken) – "Ahh, stop it! Ahh, you're crazy!"
*Alex stops running, out of breath*
Alex (spoken) – "Okay Marty, I'm it, I'm it, you win."
Marty (spoken) – "Aww, come on Alex!"
Alex (spoken) – "I
haven't eaten in two days; my blood sugar is real low. I just
don't have the energy."
Marty (singing, up-tempo) - "C'mon
Alex, I know you can, show all these lemurs you are the man, the
strongest lion in the whole land, who's the cat? YOU the cat!"
Alex (spoken) - "Marty, really."
Marty (singing,
up-tempo) - "You just gotta get on all fours, and run as fast as
you can, then when you look back you will be surprised at just how
far you ran... who's the cat? YOU the cat!"
Alex (spoken) -
"Marty, really, you're just going to embarrass yourself."
Marty (spoken) - "No way buddy! I'm not stopping until you
really try, trust me, it's Crack-A-Lackin! *begins to sing again*
Once you got it it's real hard to get it out of your head, just look
inside what is in your heart, instead of what is in your head! Who's
the cat, YOU the cat!"
Alex (spoken) - "Well, maybe I
can give it a go..."
Marty (singing) - "That's the
spirit Alex, now come on let's run, trust me you will have a blast,
you've been holding it in for way too long, it's time to lose some of
that class! Who's the cat? YOU the cat!"
Alex (spoken) -
"Ok, here I go!"
*He begins to run (moving background)
and is very good!*
Marty (singing) - "See what I told you,
now I was right, now let it take over your mind, find the goal that's
in your sight, and then get ready for it you'll find... cause Who's
the cat, Who's the cat, Who's the cat?"
Alex (spoken) "I'M
THE CAT!"
*He goes nuts as the song ends, he eventually
catches up to Marty and runs in front of him*
Alex (spoken) – "Surprise! Ha ha! You're it! You're it! Can't catch the cat, cat's too quick! I feel like a mile high pastrami on rye from the deli in the sky! Let's go wild!"
Marty (spoken) – "Now you're talking!"
*The two run offstage, laughing. Meanwhile a lemur walks up to Melman, who coughs, the lemur looks a him perplexed*
Random Lemur (spoken) -
"What's wrong with you?"
Melman (spoken) - "What's
wrong with me? What's wrong with me? I'll tell you what's wrong with
me! *begins to sing* I've had, Torticollis, Onychomycosis, Psoriasis,
Osteoporosis, Onycholysis, Episcleritis, Gingivitis, Viral
Pharyngitis, Sinusitis, and Arthritis!"
Same Lemur (spoken)
- "Is that all?"
Melman (laughs, spoken) - "I
wish! *sings again* I have, Koniophobia, Helminthophobia,
Verminophobia, Bacteriophobia, Insomnia, Tapinophobia, Misophobia,
Molysmophobia, Ataxophobia, and Acrophobia, which is the fear of
heights! That's what's wrong with me! So what about you?"
*lemur backs away slowly then runs offstage, a new lemur comes
onstage*
New Lemur (spoken) - "What's wrong with you?"
Melman (singing as he and the lemur walk offstage) - "I've
had, Torticollis, Onychomycosis, Psoriasis-"
*the curtains
go down as the song, and scene ends*
*Scene begins in the Lemur Clearing set. A majority of the lemurs are dancing and having fun, about two of them are giving Melman a well earned massage while Gloria is sitting down on a rock, sunbathing, Alex and Marty run onstage, laughing*
Alex (spoken) – "Man, I feel great!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Marty! Marty! Marty! Like you said baby, this place is…"
Alex (spoken, interrupting) – "Crack-A-Lackin! Ain't that right Melman?"
Melman (spoken) – "Oh yeah! I'm in heaven!"
Julien (spoken) – "You see Maurice. Alex is now our friend, and the Foosa are nowhere to be seen. It could be said that my plan is working in a very good working kind of way."
Alex (spoken) – "I feel good! I feel like a king again!"
*Julien walks up to Alex*
Julien (spoken) – "You, a king? Very unlikely my friend, because in these parts…"
*Music starts up*
Julien (singing) - "I am the king *4 beats* I am the king *4 beats* I am the king, I am the thing, I am the king! I am a member of a royal family *4 beats* it was me my mum my sister and my daddy *4 beats* we did everything together happy as can be, my daddy was king, he was the thing, he was the ruler of this clan, they listened to all his plans, he was the king! I am the king *4 beats* I am the king *4 beats* I am the king, I am thing, I am the king! One day while my pappy was walking all around *4 beats* some fossa came and gobbled him up, then threw his bones onto the ground, my family was sad, me mostly, I'd lost my dad! worst of all, they were left without a king, sooo.... I am the king *4 beats* I am the king *4 beats* I am the king, I am the thing, I am the king. Yes they made me king, quite quickly they made me king, they needed an attractive king who could dance as well as sing! So they made me king, the king of everything, to prove just what our society could do, they made me king! I am the king *4 beats* I am the king *4 beats* I am the king, I am the thing, I am the king. I was the greatest ruler ever, the best that they had seen, all of them were cheering, Julien we love you you sexy thing! I was happy as a king could be, because the very best king in the world, easy and unfurled, *3 beats* IS ME! I am the king *4 beats* I am the king *4 beats* I am the king, I am the thing, I am the king. So now you come along, claiming to be a king, I tell you Mr. Alex, you is wrong with that thing. I am the king here, don't you dare forget, and if you want to fight with me, I'm sure that we can bet, OOOOH- I am the king *4 beats* I am the king *4 beats* I am the king, I am the thing, I AM THE KIIIIIIIIIIIIING! Yah!"
*Song ends, Marty walks up to Alex*
Marty (spoken) – "Okay then, Alex, why don't you show them some of your act?"
Alex (spoken) – "No, I really don't think I can… ok!"
*He gets ontop of a nearby rock, and the lemurs, Melman and Gloria all get into position to watch his show*
Marty (spoken, through a curled up leaf) – "Ladies and Gentleman! Primates of all ages! The wild proudly presents, the king! Alex, the lion!"
*Lemurs all cheer as the show begins, after about a minute of creative and humorous improvisation on the actor playing Alex's part, Marty walks up closer to his pal's production*
Marty (spoken) – "The roar man, the roar!"
*an incredibly LOUD roar is heard, at least twice as loud as any others Alex has done*
Marty (spoken) – "Wow! I've never heard that one before! Yeah! Go wild man! Come on! Bring on the wild!"
*Alex, having gone completely crazy, jumps down and chases Marty offstage, a loud scream is heard from Marty before he runs back onstage panicked, clutching his behind, with Alex running in, much calmer now behind him*
Marty (spoken) – "Excuse me, You bit my butt!"
Alex (spoken) – "No I didn't!"
Marty (spoken) –
"Yes, you did!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex, what did you do?"
Marty (spoken) – "He bit me on the butt!"
Alex (spoken) – "No I didn't! Did I?"
Melman (spoken) – "You kind of did."
Marty (spoken) – "You just bit me on the butt! What the heck is wrong with you? Why'd you bite me?"
Maurice (spoken) – "Man, that's because you are his dinner!"
Gloria (spoken) – "What?"
Marty (spoken) – "Excuse me?"
Melman (spoken) – "That's dumb!"
Julien (spoken) – "Come, come, Maurice. What is a simple bite on the buttocks among friends? *puts his tail near Maurice's face* Come on, give me a nibble."
Maurice (spoken) – "The party's over Julien. Your brilliant plan has failed."
Melman (spoken) – "What are you talking about?"
Maurice (spoken) – "Your friend here is what we like to call a deluxe model hunting and eating machine, and he eats steak, which is you."
Marty (spoken) – "Get out of here!"
Julien (spoken) – "Okie Dokie Maurice, I admit it. My plan has failed. All is lost! We're all doomed! The Foosas will come back and gobble us up with their mouths because in the end, we are all steak!"
Mort (spoken, enthusiastically) – "I'm steak! Me, me, me, me!"
Maurice (spoken) – "Mr. Alex cannot stay here. He belongs with his own kind, on the Foosa side of the island."
Julien (spoken) – "By the power vested in me, by the law of the jungle, blah, blah, blah, blah, be gone!"
Marty (spoken) – "What? Come on! Alex, do I look like a steak to you?"
Alex (spoken, having gone crazy again) – "Yeah!"
Marty (spoken) – "See? I told you I don't look like… wait. What did you say?"
Alex (spoken) – "Oh, yeah!"
Mort (spoken) – "He's going savage!"
Julien (spoken) – "Run for your lives!"
*All lemurs, Marty, Melman and Gloria run offstage leaving Alex alone to run to the left side stage as the scene ends*
*Scene starts with no
set except for flowers, sharp rocks, cactuses and trees on the
stages. Alex stands on the left side stage. The curtains are all
down*
Alex (spoken) - "Guys? Guys, I'm so sorry. *puts hands
on his head, then takes them off slowly with a pained expression on
his face* Owwww! *Sings* What is wrong with me? What is it inside
that causes this side of me to be? I don't understand what is
happening here, what have I done to make my friends fear me? I'm so
confused, I don't know what to do or who to go to at all, I don't. I
guess that I'm a monster, that must be what I am, I'm a monster, not
quite what I had planned, but there is no other choice for me to
do... I am a monster; I am a monster through and through. *begins
trying to walk through sharp rocks, singing* I've never *ow* done
anything like that before, I don't know where it came from *ow* but
that hunger I could not ignore *ah* I know that it's hard, to try and
see, but I had tried so hard to throw that urge away, but I failed
and I almost killed him today. I don't understand why that had
happened to me, I couldn't see! I'm a monster, that's my only answer
here, I'm a monster, something that you need to fear, I'm guilty of
many many crimes, I'm a monster and for that I'll do my well earned
time. *gets to the flowers on the left side of the main stage, sings*
Maybe, someday, I will find a way, to get over this form of me that
I've never known, perhaps I can conquer it, and stay with my friends,
and not have to worry one little bit about being the solitary reason
that their life would have to end. I know I can do it, I just have to
try because, I am a monster, but I think I can conquer it, I am a
monster, but this new personality just won't fit into my life, it has
to go away forever, be strong Alex, it's your greatest endeavor!
*goes into the cactus area on right side of the main stage, sings*
NO! I don't think I can do it, be strong, like I should be, It's not
easy, to have self control when you are hungry as me, I can't do it
*cactus on back, he rips it off* I can't do it! I can't be the lion
I'm supposed to be, I must stay this way, It's the only option for
me. I am a monster, that what I'm meant to be, I am a monster, scary
as can be, as a monster I'm terrifying and my friends they could be
dying, the monster here is me. *goes into tree filled section on the
right side stage, sings* I have to get away, so I can't hurt them. So
far away, they'll never see, So far away, I'll be lonely, but that's
a good punishment for me, for what I did to my friends, I always made
their end, I was lucky to get away when I did, when I did. I'm a
monster, It's what I'm meant to be, I'm a monster, terrifying as can
be, Just who is the monster here, the answer's quite easy. The
monster here.... IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *tree falls on him,
spoken* OW!"
*lights dim as song and scene end*
*Scene begins in the Beach Daytime set, Marty, Melman and Gloria all walk onstage, looking very depressed*
Marty (spoken) – "What have I done? This is a nightmare! It's all my fault! Now because of me we've lost Alex."
Melman (spoken) – "What are we gonna do?"
Gloria (spoken) – "We're gonna find a way to help him, that's what we're gonna do! Come on, we're New Yorkers, right? We're tough, we're greedy, we're adaptable, and we are not going to lay down like a bunch of Melmans!"
Melman (spoken) – "No we are not!"
*A bullhorn is heard*
Marty (spoken) – "Oh, Gloria!"
Gloria (spoken) – "That wasn't me ok? That was the boat."
Marty (spoken) – "The boat?"
Melman (spoken) – "The boat!"
Gloria (spoken) – "The boat's come back for us! Come on guys, we're gonna flag it down."
Marty (spoken) – "There it is, over there!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Come on, give me a lift!"
*Melman puts her up on his shoulders*
Marty (spoken) – "Help! Help!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Help! Over here!"
Melman (spoken) – "My head, my head guys."
Gloria (spoken) – "Over here! Over here!"
Melman (spoken) – "You have no idea how much this hurts!"
*Gloria gets off his shoulders*
Gloria (spoken) – "Look, it's turning, it's coming back, it's coming back!"
Marty (spoken) – "You guys flag down that ship, I'll go get Alex."
*Gloria grabs Marty*
Gloria (spoken) – "Hold on there, you can't go back there by yourself!"
Marty (spoken) – "Come on, I know Alex. When he hears we're rescued, he'll snap right out of it."
Melman (spoken) – "The people are coming, they can help us!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Melman's right. The people will know what to do!"
*Marty runs offstage one Gloria and Melman look back at the boat front that is pushed onstage, Skipper, Private, Kowalski and Rico walk out from behind it*
Skipper (spoken) – "Now this is more like it!"
Gloria (spoken) – "You? Where are the people?"
Skipper (spoken) – "We killed them and ate their livers. Got you didn't I? The people are fine babe. They're on a slow life boat to China."
*penguins exchange high fives*
Skipper (spoken) – "Hey, I know you two. Where's that psychotic lion, and our monochromatic friend?"
Melman (spoken) – "Marty, he's right …"
Gloria (spoken) – "Where did he go?"
Melman (spoken) – "He was right behind us."
Gloria (spoken) – "He went back for Alex! He's going to get himself killed!"
Skipper (spoken) – "Boys, our monochromatic friend is in danger. It looks like we have a job to do. Captains log. *Private digs out oversize notepad and red crayon, acts like he is writing this stuff down* We've landed in a hostile environment. Kowalski, we'll need to win the hearts and minds of the natives. Rico, we'll need special technical equipment. We're going to face extreme peril, Private probably won't survive."
*Privates crayon breaks as he gets a look of terror on his face. The lights dim as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in the Foosa side of the island set, with a big boulder sitting on the right side of the stage, with spears sticking out around the left side of it, Alex is sitting to the right side of it, hidden behind the rock, Marty walks onstage from the left*
Marty (spoken) – "Alex, come on Alex! The boat's here, we can go home!"
*Alex carefully and slowly creeps out from behind the rock*
Marty (spoken) – "Alex!"
Alex (spoken) – "Marty?"
Marty (spoken) – "Snap out of it Alex. The boat came back; we can get out of here! We can go back to civilization and everything will be just like it used to be!"
*He begins to crawl over the spears, Alex stops him*
Alex (spoken) – "Stay back, please. I'm a monster."
Marty (spoken) – "Alex, you're no monster. You're my friend. We're a team you and me, remember?"
*Alex, still a bit disoriented, swipes at Alex and gives a roar, then looks at his friend sadly*
Alex (spoken) – "I don't want to hurt you."
Marty (spoken) – "Alex, I'm not leaving without you."
*Alex runs back to the right side of the rock, Marty stares sadly for a bit, acts like he is going to leave, then smiles, like he has a good plan, and turns around, and walks back up to the rock*
Marty (singing,
Happily) - "Ain't nothing in the world that could tear apart,
you my friend. Ain't nothing in the universe that could come, in
between us. If your feeling down, I'll pick you up and bring you
back, to who you are. Anything that you need, I'm there for ya.
Whenever I need to breathe, I'm there for ya. If your hurt and it
aint cool, I'm there when you need me. Need a shoulder to cry on,
it's here for ya. Need a friend to rely on, I'm there for ya. It's
well known, I want ya to know your my buddy, and my bestest friend.
Ain't nobody better say nothing bad about, my friend. Ain't no kind
of ice you can spread around, that could change my opinion, they can
make you, they can talk back trash, I know I am, I know you are.
Anything that you need, I'm here for ya. Whenever I need to breathe,
I'm there for ya. If you're hurt and it aint cool, I'm there when you
need me. If you need a laugh, I'm there for ya. If you need a place
to crash, come on, one condition though, I want you to know your my
buddy, and my bestest friend. Yeah you my bestest friend. I know you
know your my bestest friend."
*song ends, Foosa come onstage
and sneak up on Marty*
Marty (spoken) –
"Alex? Come out here for a minute. Hey Alex, a little help.
*Begins running around with Foosa chasing him* Help me! Help!
Alex! Somebody help me! Anybody!"
*Melman sweeps in onstage on
a vine, grabs Marty and pulls him out of the grasp of the Foosa*
Marty (spoken) –
"Melman?"
Melman (spoken) – "That's right baby!"
*Gloria runs out from a hiding place onstage and joins them*
Gloria (spoken) – "Run!"
*They run and stop at the left side of the stage*
Marty (spoken) – "What's the plan?"
Gloria (spoken) – "This is the plan!"
Marty (spoken) – "This is the plan?"
*Skipper, Private, Rico and Kowalski all run onstage*
Skipper (spoken) – "Foosa halt!"
*The Foosa stop as
Skipper 'fires' a gun, and pyrotechnics appear on stage, like a
flare. The Foosa are amazed.*
Foosa (spoken, in unison) –
"Foosa oooo, Foosa aaah."
*Private, having put up the pole and the ships wheel on it, hides for a second and puts on a hat that looks like he has whipped cream and a cherry on his head, he jumps on the wheel, which spins and goes up the pole*
Private (spoken) – "Come and get it!"
*The Foosa hit their head on the pole, causing them to faint, Private jumps off, and then runs to the side, taking hat off*
Kowalski (spoken, fighting) – "There's too many of them Skipper!"
Skipper (spoken, fighting) – "It's been a real pleasure serving with you boys."
*Alex runs over to the fight, causing it to stop still*
Gloria (spoken) – "Alex?"
Alex (spoken) – "That's my kill, mine! Alex hungry. Alex eat."
*he walks up to the cowering Marty and leans close to him*
Alex (spoken) – "psst, it's showtime! Thanks for not giving up on me Marty."
Marty (spoken) – "Man, you almost gave me a heart attack! You can't just come up here and sneak up on me!"
*Alex covers Marty's mouth*
Alex (spoken) – "We're getting out of here. Guys, just go with me on this. Like I said, it's showtime! My kill! They're all mine!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Aah! It's the king of the beasts!"
Marty (spoken) – "Please leave us Mr. Lion!"
Melman (spoken) – "There's not getting through to him!"
Marty (spoken) – "I'm too young to die!"
Alex (spoken) – "And you!"
*Alex points at a Foosa*
Gloria (spoken) – "You'd better run for your lives!"
Marty (spoken) – "Somebody call a cop!"
Melman (spoken) – "He's psychotic!"
Alex (spoken, to Foosa) – "This is my territory, understand? I never ever wanna see you on my turf again! *All Foosa but one run offstage, Alex turns to the one left* Boo. *that one runs offstage*"
Gloria (spoken, hugging Alex) – "Yeah, I got my boy back!"
*Julien and Maurice run onstage*
Julien (spoken) – "I did it! Give me some love! The plan worked! I am very clever! I'm the one baby! Come on, time to robot! *does robot dance and does next few lines in robotic voice* I am very clever king, I am supergenious, I am robot king of the monkey thing."
Alex (spoken) – "So, what's for lunch?"
*the curtain goes down as the scene ends*
*Scene begins in the Beach daytime set, all the extra Lemurs, Julien, Maurice, Mort, Skipper, Private, Kowalski, Rico, Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria are all sitting at a big banquet table set up on the left, or 'fun' side of the stage all with half coconuts, Alex has his eyes closed and Rico is getting some food ready for him*
Skipper (spoken) – "Close those eyes!"
Alex (spoken, peeking) – "Why do I have to close them?"
Skipper (spoken) – "Do it!"
Alex (spoken, eyes closed again) – "They're closed!"
Skipper (spoken, Alex peeking again) – "Tighter!"
Alex (spoken, closes eyes) – "Yes sir."
Skipper (spoken) – "No peeping!"
Alex (spoken) – "All right, they're closed."
Skipper (spoken) – "Rico!" *Rico comes over to Alex with sugar sushi* Open that hatch *Alex opens mouth* Fire in the hole! *Rico throws sushi in, Alex opens eyes again and begins chewing* Now chew! Chew like you mean it!"
Gloria (spoken) – "And?"
Marty (spoken) – "Well?"
Melman (spoken) – "Pretty good, right?"
Julien (spoken) – "There's always plan B!"
*He puts his arm around Mort, who giggles embarrassedly*
Alex (spoken, thoroughly pleased) – "This is better than steak! I love it! I love it!"
Skipper (spoken, high fiving Rico, Kowalski and Private) – "The kitty loves the fishy!"
Marty (spoken) – "Can I propose a toast? Now, he may be a pain in the butt at times, *Turns around to show bandages on his rear end* trust me, I know. But this cat, to me, without a doubt, has a heart as big as his stomach. To Alex!"
Everyone Sans Alex (spoken, toasting) – "To Alex!"
*All take swigs of their drinks and spit it out at each other, going into a full on spit fight. After one too many sprays from Maurice, Julien looks at him*
Julien (spoken) – "Enough!"
*when everyone stops, Julien sprays Maurice*
Marty (spoken) – "Well, what do you guys think? Should we head back to New York?"
Alex (spoken) – "I don't know Marty. I mean, this is your dream, you sure you wanna leave?"
Marty (spoken) – "I don't care where we are. As long as we're together, it doesn't matter to me."
Alex (spoken) – "Well, in that case. Yo Rico! I'll take three hundred orders, to go!"
*Rico gets to work*
Julien (spoken) – "Yes. Yes. But before you leave, I have an announcement to make. So shut up everyone please. Thank you. After much profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. And to make you feel good, I'm gonna give you this lovely parting gift."
*he gets up, walks up to Alex and kneels down as he gives his crown to him*
Alex (spoken) – "No, I couldn't really, I can't take your crown."
*Julien pulls out Stevie crown, and puts it on*
Julien (spoken) – "That's okay. I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it. Look at him shake! Go Stevie go!"
*He dances offstage with other Lemurs as everyone else looks at eachother and shakes their heads as the scene ends*
*Scene begins on the Beach Daytime set, the boat front that the penguins arrived in is back onstage, with Phil and Mason ontop with Alex (who is wearing Julien's old crown), Marty, Melman and Gloria. Skipper, Private, Kowalski, and Rico are all sitting on lawn chairs off of the boat holding tanning boards faces hidden, Julien, Mort and Maurice are also standing on the beach, along with the other lemurs, who are all yelling their farewells*
Alex (spoken) – "Bye little fuzzbuckets! Thanks for everything!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Bye bye now!"
Mort (spoken) – "Bye Bye!"
Maurice (spoken) – "Toodle-loo!"
Marty (spoken) – "After a while, crocodile!"
*Julien suddenly stops waving*
Julien (spoken) – "Maurice, my arm is tired. Wave it for me!"
*Maurice takes Julien's arm, and begins waving it for him*
Julien (spoken) – "Faster, you naughty little monkey!"
Alex (spoken) – "You know, by the time we get back to New York, it's gonna be the middle of winter. So I was just thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few side stops along the way. Maybe Paris!"
Gloria (spoken) – "Oh, you just read my mind!"
Alex (spoken) – "Let's think Spain!"
Marty (spoken) – "What about Fiji?"
Melman (spoken) – "Oh! Canada, Can we? Cheap meds, huh? Huh?"
Alex (spoken) – "You know, I wouldn't mind coming back here for a visit sometime."
Marty (spoken) – "Yeah, I can do that."
Gloria (spoken) – "You can say that again!"
*Skipper, Private, Kowalski and Rico all put their boards down to reveal that they are now hopelessly sunburned*
Private (spoken) – "Skipper, don't you think we should tell them that the boat's out of gas?"
Skipper (spoken) – "Nah, just smile and wave boys, just smile and wave!"
*The curtains go down as the scene and play ends*
*"Move it, Move it" plays on the loudspeakers as the characters come out for their individual bow in this order*
All twenty of the human characters.
The six Foosa.
All twenty of the random lemurs.
Julien (with stevie crown on), Maurice and Mort.
Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, Private, Phil and Mason.
Gloria.
Melman.
Marty (carried out by the dolphins of course).
Alex.
*Everyone bows as the bow ends*
