Author's Note:
Kay, well I'm not really a big fan of HSM, but I found the characters could nicely fit into this situation, and there are some characters that I just made up. So just letting you know ahead of time that the storyline has absolutely nothing to do with High School Musical (no offense intended to fans but I would call it 'High School Mucus-al') and I am simply using the character names.
PS ILY3
[who likes my signature?!]
Where the hell was my lighter? I can't go to school without my lighter!!
Most people wouldn't see this as a dilemma. What's the big deal? Why should you cry and scream over something so… so fucking stupid???
"Gah!" I nearly shouted, exasperated. Justin, my ten year old brother, was banging on the door.
"Hurry up, Ella!" he called as his fist pounded faster and faster.
Idiot. Stupid brother. If he had been the Justine that I had been waiting for since the call from the hospital four months into my mother's pregnancy, my life would've been a hell of a lot better… and easier.
And why did he have to keep calling me "Ella"? I hated that nickname. It was a horrible nickname for a fifteen year old girl. A girl who preferred… Bri.
Shar had picked it out for me. I'd ditched the classic 'Gabby', and went for something more teenager-ish for Gabriella.
Oh, right. You want the story, the part where I tell you how I got here, looking for a little metal rectangle that spits out fire for my cigarettes. Well, here goes.
Straight A's and smiley faces were what I always got on my tests. A's and good behavioral comments were what I got on my report cards. Lots of friends and a steady boyfriend were what I had for my life. This and nothing less. But there was one thing I needed.
Sharpay, Monique, and Desiree were three girls that stood out. The 'bad influences', as the principal would name them. They smoked, drank, did drugs, and had walked away from their virginity long ago. They were the kind of people that my kind of people wouldn't dare want to be like.
Well, everyone but me.
I liked their names, how they had a certain zing to it. Pizzazz. And they had nicknames for each other. Shar, Niqi, and Re. How did I know all this? Well, I guess I could say I did my research when I was obsessing over them so much that I now can't even believe how much I loved them.
I liked their clothes, they were dark and mysterious, and totally unique. Monique wore bright colors but had dark accessories, black hair, black makeup, and gray shoes. Sharpay wore all black, and had bright red lipstick on her full lips, that strangely complimented her dirty blonde hair.
Desiree wore red. Nothing but red, except for on her lips, where she was constantly rubbing chapstick on. She had dark red long sleeve shirts that went below her hips, and faded red skinny jeans. Somehow it reminded me of blood.
And they cut themselves. They always had a razor handy, usually working on their scarred arms, hands, or wrists. Sometimes they carved the table they sat at, during lunch, and sometimes they carved the walls.
I would complain about how I wished I was them to my best friend Taylor or my boyfriend Troy, but they wouldn't support me. Jerks.
Anyways, my life hit a wonderful turn, when Sharpay walked by my table to her's with Desiree and Monique, for the very first time.
Oh my god. She's looking at me.
"Taylor," I whispered as Sharpay looked at me over her shoulder, scanning my body from head to toe with an unreadable expression on her face.
"Hm?" she replied, not looking from her sandwich. She obviously hadn't gotten my hint when I whispered her name, something I rarely ever did.
"Sh!" I warned her.
"Why?"
"Ook-lay, at arpay-shay!" I told her in pig Latin.
"What the fuck are you going on about, Gabs?" she nearly yelled.
I glared at her. "Taylor!"
"What!?" she snapped back.
I risked a quick glance at Sharpay, who was nowhere in sight. I looked around, and she was already at her table with Monique and Desiree.
"Ugh," I groaned.
"What is wrong with you Gabby? Why have you been so stressful lately?"
"You just ruined my only chance of being one of them!" I nearly yelled, exasperated.
Heads turned from all around me, and Ms. Cope, the lunch lady shook her head at me.
"Ms. Montez, I would appreciate it if you would keep down." I lifted my head to see a stern looking principal staring down at my head.
"Sorry." was all I could mutter.
"Seriously, Gabs, you've been getting on my nerves. Tell me what's your problem!" Taylor said as soon as he was gone.
"Look, Taylor, you wouldn't understand."
"No, maybe I won't, but you'll feel much better when you tell me."
"Ugh. Fine." I took a deep breath. "Lately Sharpay has been looking at me a lot. I think she's considering letting me join her clique."
"What?!" I knew it.
"What did you say?" Troy asked from across the table.
"Never mind, I don't want to talk about it."
"No, you will tell me. Or Taylor will."
Grr.. I will seriously fuck her up so bad if she tells him.
Back then, I didn't cuss. I never had cussed a single bad word in my entire life. Not even in my thoughts.
"Gabby wants to join Sharpay's group!!!"
"What?! Gabs, you can't do that!"
"Well what do you know? I think they're cool."
"No, Gabby, as your boyfriend, I want what's right for you. And they're not!"
"Yeah, Gabs, stop telling yourself that you think that they're so great. Because they're not."
"You know what, I don't want to talk about this right now. See ya." I got up and waved, only to be stopped by Sharpay.
"Hi, Gabriella!" she said in a strangely happy voice. Well, almost happy, at least.
"Ummm…" what the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I talk clearly?
I cleared my throat.
"Hi Sharpay! What's up?" I managed to stammer out.
"Well, the girls and I were talking," she looked over to Monique and Desiree, "And we've decided that we think that you're a perfect fourth girl to our clique!"
My mouth dropped.
"Seriously? That's great!"
"Yeah, so come by to my locker after school. See ya!"
"Um, bye!"
And I did.
And I got my first razor.
And I got my first cut.
And I got my first whiff of cigarette smoke.
And that's how I got here now.
Finally!
I reached over to the top of my medicine cabinet and shoved the lighter into my pocket.
I opened the door and shoved Justin out of the way, jogging down the stairs.
Mom and Dad didn't even know I was emo. They just knew that I wore dark clothes and was failing all of my classes.
"Bye Mom! Bye Dad! See you later!" I called, gulping down the last of my orange juice and running out of the door and all the way to the corner of my street.
"Hey, Bri!" Niqi called from our usual spot.
"M-hm," I sighed.
"Tough night?" Re asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah," I answered, taking the cigarette from her hand and taking out the lighter.
I clicked the button, and a flame popped out. I brought it close to the end of my cigarette, which sparked and started smoking.
I breathed in the smoke.
"Mm…" I muttered. "I needed that."
"Ahh," Shar moaned, the blood from her fresh cut dropping to the cement. She put away the blade swiftly into her backpack.
"Can I borrow your's? I left mine at home." Sharpay knew what I was talking about.
"Sure- Ow!" she gasped as the cut started to sting.
"How much?" Niqi asked.
"Awesome," she breathed.
"A ten?" Re clarified.
Shar nodded and handed me her razor.
I took it and pushed it into my arm deep.
The pain swirled around in my arm, I was gasping for breath. The blood gushed out and splattered on my shoes.
"Ah!" I gasped, pulling out a white cloth that was stained with blood from past bleedings. I wrapped it around my arm tightly, and then pulled out the cigarette that was in between my teeth so that I could let out a puff of smoke from my mouth.
"Eleven," I muttered under my breath.
Brrring!! The school bell rang loudly as Shar, Niqi, Re, and I slowly walked into our first class.
"Class, please be seated," Mr. Mora started saying, and then I just droned out after that.
A note landed on my desk. I lifted the flap.
Gabriella. I need to talk to you at lunch.
Troy.
Troy was getting really distant from me. It kind of bothered me, and that's why I was cutting more often lately.
I scribbled down a short reply underneath his neat handwriting.
So talk to me at lunch.
Bri.
I tossed it over my shoulder without looking back, I knew it would land on his desk. I heard him open it and sigh.
"Bri!" Shar whispered.
"Hm?" I whispered back.
"We're ditching at lunch. Are you coming with?"
"Could we wait for about ten minutes?"
"Sure, whatever."
Troy grabbed my arm while I was getting out of class. I squirmed out of his fingers in response.
"Gabriella, I really need to let you know something."
"So get on with it!"
"I want to break up."
"What the fuck?"
"Yeah, I do. You're not Gabriella Montez anymore. My Gabriella Montez."
"Excuse me?"
"So… bye."
"Wait! Troy! You have no idea what you're saying!"
"Yes. I. Do!" he growled.
"Fine! Whatever! I don't need you!"
"Yes, you do! But I can't help you anymore. You're in too deep."
"Bye!!" I screamed.
"See you around, Gabriella."
I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.
"Bri, are you sure you don't want to?"
"No, Niqi, I don't want to cut right now."
"Tequila, then?"
"No. I, I can't."
"But Bri, it'll feel good." Re pleaded, not understanding my strange behavior.
"Okay, alright, give me a cigarette."
"Okay, here." Re said, handing me the little white cylinder.
After my smoke, I was still depressed.
"It didn't help at all."
"What? Are you sure? Not even a little bit?" Niqi asked, astonished.
"No! Emotionally, I'm a little bit worse."
"Damn, girl, you really are down!" Re said, as amazed as Niqi.
"You know what she really needs?" Shar said, with a really mischievous grin on her mouth.
"What, Shar?" Niqi asked.
"Her first night of good, hard, hot sex!"
My eyes widened. I was going to lose my virginity?