The MBDTA: The Break Room

This little one shot popped into my head while typing a chapter of The Return of the Power Hungry Monarchs

I may or may not continue this one, it is open to interpretation, being without a sizable plot, but conataining many allusions

Kelsey sat quietly in the break room of the Fantasy department one late Tuesday morning . . . or early afternoon, depending on which you would prefer to think of it as, munching on the pan fried pavenders someone from the Narnia sub department had donated to the break room.

It doesn't get much better than this she thought to herself, digging her fork into the fish. She had just brought her fork to her mouth, when the door bust open with a flurry of snow and Mr. Tumnus walked in.

"Good Morning." He nodded to her and headed for the microwave with his bag of popcorn.

"I rather think it's closer to tea time." Kelsey replied mildly, glancing at one of the multiple clocks that lined the walls.

There was a clock for every world in the department, which was why fantasy had split off from the classic fairytales several years ago. The Narnia clock stated something about eight o'clock in January, but the Lord of the Rings clock which Kelsey lived off of was closer to tea time.

"Whatever time it is, I'm starving." Mr. Tumnus unwound his muffler, "Jadis is getting grumpy – she wants some payment. If you guys have a Mary Sue come in, send her our way – even one of them is better than a grumpy Jadis."

"You don't have any particularly yummy elves." Kelsey told him, "That's why you aren't getting that many people."

"Now where are we to get some then?" Tumnus asked with a sigh.

Just then, Mandy and Glorfindel walked in, chatting about something or other. Mandy seized Tumnus's popcorn and stuck it in the microwave, since he didn't seem to want it anymore – he tended to freak out a bit when Jadis was angry.

"I'm telling you, Glorfindel, I know these things! You have to be pretty with young women who claim Legolas is blonde." Mandy's voice rose above Tumnus's harsh breathing.

"But-"

"Yes, I know Legolas is blonde, but the point is, that – as Nickel pointed out – the books don't say anything about Legolas being blonde. Therefore, she's Movie bias and we don't have a department for Movies! You go to universal pictures for that!"

"I know that, Mandy, but don't you think she could just be biased because of confusion?"

"We are a literary organization and that is that." Kelsey interjected, "Remember the time the Philosophy Department let that boy visit Plato's The Republic? It was a mess, because he had no clue what was going on and got lost between the words. They finally found him in the Allegory of the Cave and he was sensitive to light for ages afterward. There was a huge lawsuit over it."

"Anyways," Mandy added, "If she's another one of those Mary Sues, our paychecks, as well as you and Elrond's compensations are going down the drain when we have to cut off an alternate universe and seal it. Making new story worlds is hard."

"If you have a Mary Sue," Tumnus piped up, "You can send her our way. Jadis is looking for another Daughter of Eve to temp – and Sues are her favorites."

The Microwave beeped

"Poor Tumnus!" Mandy cried out, edging toward the microwave, "Of course, we'll just have to tell her Legolas is on vacation there . . . or working as her tour guide or something."

Tumnus perked up and snatched his popcorn from Mandy's grasp, "Oh good, thank you, Daughter of Eve!" He left the break room, skipping along.

Mandy gazed after the popcorn as the door swung shut.

"Pavender?" Kelsey offered.

"No." Mandy sighed, "I'll go talk to Legolas about being her tour guide – the silly chit won't even notice she isn't in Middle Earth."

"Too true." Glorfindel sighed, "The business has gone downhill over the years; nobody is interested in architecture or scenery anymore."

"That's what movies with hot actors do to books." Kelsey sighed.

Nicole walking in then, hauling a pile of books, "You know what the Mythology Department did to me?" She asked, "That idiot, Zeus, was hitting on me again!" She dropped the books into a corner, "And while I was carrying this pile of allusions too."

"Again?" Glorfindel and Kelsey asked.

"This is what, the sixtieth time?" Kelsey asked.

"I'll let you know when I tally it up in my cubicle." Nicole muttered angrily, "It might take me a few years though."

The three laughed at that, Zeus did, after all, hit on everyone who entered his department.

"So what exactly did the department itself do?" Kelsey asked, polishing off her rapidly cooling lunch.

"They insisted on us researching every allusion in our sub department and hand out pamphlets. And you know upstairs is going to think it's brilliant, though I think it's wasteful."

"Of time or paper?" Glorfindel asked.

"Both." Nicole glared at the pile of books, "And we're way too understaffed to do it without losing our social lives."

"We should apply for a raise." Kelsey commented, wistfully, "Though they'd probably just throw more work on us and cut our paycheck if we did."

"Not that we're exactly underpaid." Nicole said, "Though considering the workplace hazards. . ."

Everyone lapsed into a memory of their least favorite workplace hazard. Nicole, still angry at Zeus brought his image to mind, glaring at the Dark Materials clock. Kelsey was remembering the variety of highly stressful lawsuits that came with sending people into books. Glorfindel mentally battled an army of Mary Sues. There were many workplace hazards at the M.B.D.T.A.

"Well, I'd best get started, before upstairs gets wind of this new project and decide to spread it to the other department and include applied philosophy." Nicole sighed.

"I'll help you," Glorfindel offered, "Elrond's ring of power went missing this morning and I don't want to go back just yet. Especially since I know where it is."

"Oh?" Kelsey asked, "Where is it?"

"It his jewelry box – the one he avoids looking at that Arwen made when she was five." Glorfindel laughed, "The twins hid it there."

"It doesn't have any power though, does it?" Kelsey asked, rather worried.

"No, but he likes to think it does." Glorfindel and Nicole left the break room, chuckling to themselves.

Kelsey looked around for any tea bags, but seeing none, decided on a drink of water from one of the many water filters. She chose a cup of the sweet water of the eastern sea in Narnia and headed back to her cubicle to finish arranging a field trip for some Harvard students to look at Mount Doom.

Thanx for reading, now reveiw

For more to read, that's what I'd do.

-Nickel of the MBDTA