This will be a bunch of One-shots I write when I want to with my character Shai and the rest of the party. Mostly attacking Alistairs modesty in various, funny ways ;)
The title is just for fun :D

A/N: Shai is an elven Mage, btw. I think it was her Zevran called "a deathly sex-goddess" first of my characters... I don't know if Beast is her dog though, I wanted to name Shai something else, but that name I'm already using in one of my original stories that I hope to publish some day, plus, in that playthrough the dog is called "Altaïr" from Assassin's Creede so... yeah...

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age (well except for the CD I use to play it with...).
If I did you would be able to jump. And the elves would be tall and rule over the humans... And your character would actually talk...

Mages, bloody Mages

Shai of the Grey Wardens approached her fellow traveller with a cautious glance at the boiling potion in the cauldron.

"Morrigan…"

"Yes Warden?" the apostate looked up from the potion.

"Just call me Shai, ehm, did you spike Alistair's wine at Redcliffe this afternoon?"

Morrigan got a surprised look on her face that then turned into a confused expression. "No, why would I do something like that? Would you like some tea?"

Shai glanced in Alistairs direction. He seemed to be having troubles with his armor. He, in fact, flinched every time he moved.

"Uh, nothing, I just thought that I would ask you since you're the best of us mages at Herbalism… And thanks for the offer but I'm not thirsty…" Shai quickly turned around and went to the fire in the midst of the camp.

Oghren was as usual busy being drunk, Zevran seemed to be working on a trap and Wynne was busy giving Beast a bath. Sten was fiddling with something behind his back and Leliana was off daydreaming somewhere.

"Hello Alistair." Shai sat down on the ground beside him, after looking for any traps of course, she still didn't trust Zevran.

"Oh, err… Hi." Alistairs face went bright red. He shifted uncomfortably and then flinched for no apparent reason. Shai could swear that she heard him mutter "great, just great!" under his breath but decided not to ask why.

"You've been wearing that armor the entire day you know. You could take it off."

"I uh… No, I- I think I'll keep it on. Just in case. You know, if the Darkspawn tries to attack again…" His eyes shifted around camp.

"Okay…" Shai got up and went to talk to Wynne.

"Wynne, do you know anything about Alistairs behaviour today?"

Wynne patted Beast on the head before she looked up and studied Alistair from a distance.

"Oh, I think I've seen something like this before in the Circle Tower, it was a couple of young apprentices who were, well… curious of their teacher. I'm suspecting Morrigans involvement in this, have you talked to her?"

"Yes, and she denies it. Could you come up with a concoction to stop it?"

"Oh no, I'm afraid not. It would be most dangerous to try without knowing the recipe for the brew that caused this." Shai could swear that Wynne had a slight smile on her face.

"Then do you know a way to stop it?"

"I suppose it would be the same way you usually do."

Okay, now she was definitely smiling. "Right… Well then, I guess I'll have to take care of this…" And the she went back to Alistair.

The following day, on their way to Denerim, Alistair was in a very good mood. That was, until Zevran asked if he was tired.

Shai smiled smugly to herself. "Morrigan?" she called back and the apostate hurried forward to her.

"Yes? Is this about last night? I thought you'd like my gift."

"Do you have any of it left?"

"Why yes I do, I could always teach you how to make it if you want."

"We'll have to wait until we camp tonight. In the meantime, could you fetch Wynne? Id like to speak with both of you."

The following day, Alistair was gritting his teeth as he saw yet again how Shai talked to Wynne and Morrigan with their heads close.

He kept himself at the back of the group so that he wouldn't have to speak to anyone about his… problem…

When he saw the look Morrigan gave him in camp later that evening he held back a huff of frustration. Mages, he thought, bloody Mages!

Wiiee! Poor Alistair xD He doesn't know what Shai will do to him next... Mwahahahahaaaaa *chokes on laughter*
Okay, it's not Shai that will do something to him next, but you know, the next time she does something to him...

Ooh I think I'll torture Cullen soon! I just have to come up with an idea, but in the meantime, I'll upload another oneshot (I can't make up my mind on how to write that word...)