Author's note: The characters in this story are all property of J.K.
Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien. In fact, everything belongs to them. Some of
the movies I ripped off in writing this fiction besides Harry Potter and
Lord of the Rings are:
Texas Chainsaw Massacre You Got Served The Shining
I also do not own Kurt Cobain or Weird Al Yankovic. That is all.
"The beacons have... wait," said Aragorn Elessar, "This doesn't look like Mordor!"
And indeed, it was not Mordor. Aragorn and his army had taken a wrong turn, and landed near the entrance of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"Is there a problem, boss?" inquired Legolas.
"No, not at all. We're only stuck in some weird place with no chance of escape, my friends," replied Aragorn, facetiously.
"Nothing new, then," added Gimli in a sullen tone.
"I was saving this speech for Mordor," Aragorn muttered under his breath, "but I suppose the time has come sooner than I expected."
"He won't come in here, now. Not since... Well, he knows better than that, doesn't he?" came a voice, interrupting Aragorn, "why don't you have some tea, my dears?"
"W-what?" asked Aragorn, "Are you talking about Lord Sauron? Thanks for the offer, miss, but I don't believe we have time enough for tea."
"Now, now, my dears," said the woman, appearing from the darkness ahead, "please have some tea. I assure you this, my loves, it will calm you down a bit."
"Please, ma'am, we're in a hurry," grunted Gimli, who was playing with his beard idly, "We are in a hurry to get to Mordor to help Frodo destroy Lord Sau-"
"Please, my friends, have some tea. It will calm you down," the woman insisited.
"LADY, WE DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING TEA. LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE!" belted Gandalf.
"Well, if you're going to be that way, my dears, I'm afraid I have nothing for you," replied the woman, "Please exit now," she commanded.
"But we're not even in," thought Aragorn aloud.
And then...
"LET'S SEE YOU DANCE, SUCKA, YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON ME!" A man's yelling voice was multiplied by at least ten as young children dressed in black and green robes with a snake on them appeared and began dancing.
"What the—"Aragorn was cut off by one of the kids.
"Oh, I think he's getting served!" a black haired boy said.
"Damn straight!" a tall blonde boy with pale skin replied.
"Ooooh, he's getting' served all over!" said a girl with a face the shape of a pug.
What's going to happen to our heroes? Will they ever help Frodo and save Middle Earth? Will they ever even get back to middle earth? THAT IS WHY YOU MUST WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! Mwuah. Review, please.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre You Got Served The Shining
I also do not own Kurt Cobain or Weird Al Yankovic. That is all.
"The beacons have... wait," said Aragorn Elessar, "This doesn't look like Mordor!"
And indeed, it was not Mordor. Aragorn and his army had taken a wrong turn, and landed near the entrance of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"Is there a problem, boss?" inquired Legolas.
"No, not at all. We're only stuck in some weird place with no chance of escape, my friends," replied Aragorn, facetiously.
"Nothing new, then," added Gimli in a sullen tone.
"I was saving this speech for Mordor," Aragorn muttered under his breath, "but I suppose the time has come sooner than I expected."
"He won't come in here, now. Not since... Well, he knows better than that, doesn't he?" came a voice, interrupting Aragorn, "why don't you have some tea, my dears?"
"W-what?" asked Aragorn, "Are you talking about Lord Sauron? Thanks for the offer, miss, but I don't believe we have time enough for tea."
"Now, now, my dears," said the woman, appearing from the darkness ahead, "please have some tea. I assure you this, my loves, it will calm you down a bit."
"Please, ma'am, we're in a hurry," grunted Gimli, who was playing with his beard idly, "We are in a hurry to get to Mordor to help Frodo destroy Lord Sau-"
"Please, my friends, have some tea. It will calm you down," the woman insisited.
"LADY, WE DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING TEA. LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE!" belted Gandalf.
"Well, if you're going to be that way, my dears, I'm afraid I have nothing for you," replied the woman, "Please exit now," she commanded.
"But we're not even in," thought Aragorn aloud.
And then...
"LET'S SEE YOU DANCE, SUCKA, YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON ME!" A man's yelling voice was multiplied by at least ten as young children dressed in black and green robes with a snake on them appeared and began dancing.
"What the—"Aragorn was cut off by one of the kids.
"Oh, I think he's getting served!" a black haired boy said.
"Damn straight!" a tall blonde boy with pale skin replied.
"Ooooh, he's getting' served all over!" said a girl with a face the shape of a pug.
What's going to happen to our heroes? Will they ever help Frodo and save Middle Earth? Will they ever even get back to middle earth? THAT IS WHY YOU MUST WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! Mwuah. Review, please.