AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay so I'm posting this fic of mine that I've been posting over at "Forbidden Love", the brilliant EJami fan board because what began as a simple idea has snowballed into something else altogether. Obviously on an EJami fan board we are all EJami fans and obviously with there is a lot of disappointment with the latest Sami shooting EJ story line – more disappointment than usual. The writer's do love to stick it to us. This go round though they've done some huge damage to what I believe is the fundamental characteristics of Sami. There is a lot of anger towards the writing of her at the moment that goes far beyond her jumping on what's his name every chance she gets. No, they've torn away at the core of Sami Brady with this story line and as EJami fans who need Sami to be Sami for our love story to work that has created a lot of resentment towards the story line and writers.

Now I've told you all that guff simply to give you an idea where this fic is coming from. I think I was unconsciously trying to redress the balance between EJ and Sami as she plays EJ's poor little justified victim when she was the one who plugged the unconscious EJ with a bullet to the brain. What started as giving us what we felt we needed in the beginning began to change as people became more involved in the fic. In the course of the last four days I've written this and it has ultimately become about Sami's remorse and redemption and what it would need to be like for us to forgive her.

I've written it solely from Sami's POV so far. We all know how EJ feels – it's Sami who has always been the wild card. But as I wrote, again, it became more than that. EJ didn't need a voice in this fic because I found out we, the EJami fans were EJ in this story – the ones betrayed and let down by Sami, the Sami who never lets us have a chance at our couple. We knew how EJ felt because we were EJ. It was Sami who had the 'splainin' to do. Lol

Now if you're just a casual EJami fan you'll read all of that and go whatever – sounds a bit over the top. If you're someone who really loves the thought of this couple and want so badly for them to get together and just feel bitterness and resentment how you and your couple have been treated by the writers than this might well be the fic for you. Lol

Alright, enough jibber jabber, just read and make up your own minds eh? Comments always appreciated but not expected of course. :D

Wayward

Chapter ONE

"It's good to be home," EJ announced, looking around his bedroom and smiling, "I don't think I could have stayed in that hospital another minute without losing my mind."

Sami gave a weak smile and shifted her weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably. It was hard for her to be back here, so near to the scene of the crime – the scene of her crime.

"I'll go and check on the children and let you get settled in," she said quickly, anxious to be out of this bedroom which suddenly seemed too small when EJ was standing there with her.

"Alright sweetheart," he said with an easy smile.

Sami hurried from the room unable to believe the mess she'd gotten herself into this time. Here she was, back at the DiMera mansion, posing as EJ's wife all to keep her secret safe. In so many ways it would have been easier if EJ had just died that night and Sami would have been free of him at long last, or at least that was what she told herself. But the DiMera that he was EJ hadn't died and now she just had to deal with it. Rafe was furious with her that she'd let the charade go so far as now being forced to have to move back in with EJ pretending to be his wife so that he wouldn't become upset. Only Sami knew though there was more at stake then EJ's good health but she couldn't tell Rafe that and so there was considerable tension between them.

"I'm looking forward to waking up beside you tomorrow morning," EJ told her just before she left the room.

Sami turned in the doorway and stared at him wide eyed.

"Wh-what?" she asked shakily, her heart beginning to beat wildly.

Sami swallowed hard before answering.

"I-I thought you'd want the bed to yourself," said Sami unevenly, "You've just gotten out of the hospital and all and I was just going to sleep down the hall, closer to the children."

"Don't be ridiculous Samantha," said EJ with an indulgent smile, "Nothing is going to speed my recovery more than being able to share my bed with my gorgeous new wife."

Sami gave a pale imitation of a smile at that statement but couldn't think how to talk her way out of it.

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Sami gave a happy sigh in her sleep, her body feeling strangely good and alive – a slow throbbing sensation in her lower body penetrating even the fog of her sleep soaked consciousness. She wasn't sure how long the sensations went on for but eventually she forced her eyes open coming ever so slowly awake. A dark head was at her breast, the hair closely cropped so Sami knew instantly who it was, no dream like state allowed to linger as the reality of what was happening to her body and by whom instantly hit her. EJ was completely naked, she could feel that much as his body was lined up along hers – naked and as hard as a rock – everywhere.

EJ had one of her nipples in his mouth, teasing and suckling at it mercilessly, his skilled mouth working this erogenous zone on Sami's body, her tank top pushed up. One of EJ's hands was between Sami's legs and working on her from deep inside and Sami made two equally amazing observations at the exact same moment. One was that EJ had somehow managed to remove the little boy leg pants Sami had worn to bed the night before and two, he'd gotten her so wet while she'd slept that it was dripping down her thighs and soaking the bed sheets beneath her. Sami flushed at that realisation, embarrassed that her body should betray her so badly.

EJ must have felt the sudden tension in her body because he lifted his head from her swollen teat and looked at her with bleary brown eyes. Sami knew this was the moment she should express outrage or at least find some way to make him stop, expressing health concerns on EJ's behalf. She was engaged to Rafe – this just wasn't right. Sami expected EJ to say something, comment on what was happening between them and try and draw out her emotions as he always did. Instead before Sami knew what was happening EJ had pushed her legs further apart and mounted her in one effortless stroke.

Sami gasped, her hands flying out to EJ's arms in shock over the sudden movement. She bit her bottom lip hard as her body frantically tried to accommodate his vast size. It had been so long that Sami had forgotten how big EJ was but he was reminding her now. Her nails dug into his arms as EJ gave her no chance to adjust to his impressive girth, simply beginning to thrust powerfully into her. It was only because he'd gotten her so wet that Sami could take him all at once like this and it was such a stark contrast to the other two times they'd made love.

Both times EJ had solicitously waited until Sami was comfortable before proceeding – even that first time. Not now though, now EJ had simply penetrated her and was riding her hard. Her body, over the initial shock, was being completely compliant now, meeting each one of EJ's increasingly hard thrusts. EJ's uneven breathing filled the air as he strained inside of her, holding himself just above her, watching her face as he drove himself relentlessly into her again and again. Sami could only stare back at him wide eyed, trying to work out how this had happened.

She told herself this didn't count; it wasn't cheating on Rafe as long as she didn't cum. Her addled brain clung to that thought as she valiantly did battle with her body. Her body wasn't interested though as EJ suddenly grunted and stiffened against her and Sami felt him flood her with his hot seed. Instantly the sensation made Sami climax, a sharp, short orgasm tearing through her body. Sami tried to swallow her pleasure and not let EJ see it but there was no way he could be in doubt as her body convulsed around his. Sami closed her eyes and gave a low groan, horrified that had just happened.

Already she was justifying it, trying to find a way to make it not what it was. She'd had to do this to keep her secret, it was the only way. She'd been half asleep and not aware of what she was doing, EJ had tricked her. The list quickly grew in Sami's head, knowing she'd need them all to find a way to live with herself for doing what she'd just done. At least it was over now and Sami could work out a way to make sure it never happened again. She steeled herself for EJ's loving afterglow conversation, knowing he'd be wanting her to tell him that she loved him and how special it was between them. Sami figured she could do that, say what he wanted to hear as long as it got her out of this bed as quickly as possible.

Her eyes flew open as she felt EJ begin to move inside of her again. She stared up at him wide eyed as EJ gave a little grunt, beginning to work on her body again with his. Sami realised to her horror that EJ was still as swollen and hard inside of her as he'd been when he'd first penetrated her. Clearly that first release hadn't been enough for him and he was intent on taking more pleasure from her body. Sami wanted to scream at him to stop, that she didn't want this but instead her legs hooked themselves around EJ's waist, driving him deeper into her. It was like her body had a mind of its own and had been denied this too long.

EJ had her twice more in that position before he was finally done and each time he climaxed Sami came right along with him and the last time Sami had almost lost consciousness from the force of her release. The whole time EJ hadn't spoken beyond increasingly excited grunting when he was getting close to cumming. When he was done at long last EJ had simply pressed a kiss to Sami's forehead and pulled out of her, rolling off the bed and heading towards the bathroom. Within seconds Sami heard the shower running as she lay there, still trying to catch her breath and work out what the hell had just happened.

She couldn't understand why EJ wasn't still holding her, crooning that he loved her and coaxing her into saying the same. EJ always wanted to talk, always and Sami didn't know what to make of this silence. She glanced over at the clock and was shocked to see that over an hour had passed since she'd woken up. EJ had been labouring away inside of her for over an hour and that thought was a wanton one for Sami and made her blush violently.

It made her feel whorish that she hadn't protested even once and the fact that the bed sheets she was lying on were soaked with the juices of their combined arousal only reinforced that thought for Sami. No one could see the bed in this state – it was bad enough the room was thick with the smell of sex and sweat. That thought galvanised Sami into action and she went to roll out of bed and remove the linen from the bed herself. She tried to stand up but her legs were too weak and she ended up on all fours beside the bed, her body a shaking mess.

"Never again," Sami vowed through clenched teeth, "Never again."