I guess I needed to do this.

I've been cutting recently, and I need to stop. (Although I don't want to.)

So I figured writing would help.

None of my friends would have a full conversation with me this break, despite my best efforts.

I want to tell someone, but no one will listen.

Please don't leave me behind.

Feliciano's POV

I woke up, snuggled into Germany.

"He's still not awake..." I mumble to myself, feeling a spark of joy.

I smiled for once.

Not one of those overly-happy, not to mention, sickening smiles, that I used to be able to feel as much joy as the smile showed.

It seemed like forever that I had been staring at him.

A peaceful look was on his face, unlike his usual angry expression, which I have caused much more than anyone else.

I suddenly felt a stir and closed my eyes, trying to look as if I was still asleep.

It worked, it seemed.

He shook me violently, "Italy, Vhat have I told jou abovt shleeping (Yes, that is how he pronounces it) in my bed!?" He scolded.

I 'awoke', feigning a shocked look.

"Ve! I'm-a sorry Doitsu! Please don't-a hurt me!" I yelped. (Just because he's depressed doesn't mean he's lost all of his character :c)

After a long series of scolding, I put on my clothes and was forced out of his room.

'Ah, I'm such a bother.' I thought.

But that wasn't all.

'He doesn't want me around'

'I feel like he's done with me'

'It's best if I go...'

'I wish I just never came here'

'I'm unwanted here'

'I'm unwanted everywhere'

'Nobody wants me around'

'Everyone is done with me'

'It's best if I died'

'I wish I never existed'

I shook my head, tears brimming in my eyes.

'No! It's not like that! No! I'm okay. I'm... not... okay...' I thought, mentally crashing.

The mental crash made me want to binge-eat.

Out of habit, I skipped to the pantry, and pulled out pasta.

It seemed time went by so quickly, for the pasta was already done.

Germany had entered the kitchen, and I being unprepared, I turned the other direction, humming a tune to make it seem alright as I strained the pasta.

I put on that dense and happy smile and turned around to pour the pasta into a bowl, mixing the sauce with pasta.

"Pasta again? Vell, it's nicht vike I should ve surprised." Germany said, sighing. I mixed faster after hearing his complaint.

He raised an eyebrow, but decided not to say anything.

I looked as if I was in a daze anyways. He must've thought I was getting excited over something I was daydreaming about.

I filled two bowls with pasta and handed one to him.

He started eating without looking up at me.

I stared at the pasta I used to love so much, losing my appetite.

Hesitantly, I forced myself to eat the pasta.

As soon as he looked up, I grinned at him.

"Hey, Italy, is there vomething bothering jou?" Germany asked, concerned, for he thought his companion had been frowning at his beloved food.

"Ve~ I'm fine." I said, a bit too sugar coated.

He shrugged his shoulders and dropped the subject.

'You would hate me if you knew...' Was the first thing I thought.

But not the last.

Definitely not the last.

SO HOW WAS ITTT?

I think I did a great job on this. I'll add more chapters if you want to.

I'm going to sleep. It's 12:54 and I'm having period cramps.

(I do not own Hetalia ;-;)