Are You Shitting Me?
Author: sashik
Summary: Hermione lets something slip… Will she regret it?
A/N: Thank you to… Jeffy (my personal sex on a stick), Mr. Braman (for the wonderful duct tape comment… we'll miss him), Kasey (She knows why).
The class started out perfectly normal, with Draco interrogating Snape.
"Professor Snape, how do you do it?"
"Duct tape, Malfoy, why?"
"Well, who else to ask for sex tips, but the great and only Potions master?"
"Malfoy, if I knew any better, I would take points of for insolence. But I don't, so I won't. Now go back to your seat.
"Now, students. Let the wonderful and not at all boring presentations begin."
The students, feeling the overwhelming feeling of doom went to their seats, clutching see through scrolls with their presentations. Hermione, of course, went up first.
"And this wonderful potion, which is super-duper advanced level, will provide a cure for cramps. And because this is a situation EVERYONE can relate to, I made it my 7th year project. And now if you would kindly listen to these testimonies of satisfied customers…" Hermione rambled on about her wondrous new potion.
But of course, something had to go wrong…
"You do know the sound doesn't work on this fancy projector thing, right?" a voice came from the back of the classroom.
"Are you shitting me!?" Hermione let out a loud scream.
The whole class stopped breathing for a second, after which it seemed to come alive again with a loud gasp and a simultaneous turn of heads in the direction of the towering Potions master, who was reviewing the presentation in the back. The sounds of snickers and laughter were already heard through out the auditorium. The muscles of the teacher tensed up a bit, and his eyes started sparkling, but he didn't make a motion towards laughing.
Hermione, on the other hand, clutched her hands to her mouth, as if wanting to bring the words back… but alas, she couldn't.
"I shit you not" came the same voice.
That's when the class couldn't handle it any longer… Everyone erupted into fits of laughter, including the unbreakable Potions master… Who actually put his head down on the table and whenever he raised it, there were tears in his eyes… The students around Hermione were laughing in fits, not being able to stop.
When the laughter seemed to die down a little bit (bringing down the tension with it), Snape looked up from his desk once again and noted, "25 points from Gryffindor and a detention… with me."
Hermione had Arithmancy next, and apparently, word traveled fast at Hogwarts, because on her way to the Great Hall for lunch, she was grabbed by Fred and George and dragged to the Gryffindor Common Room.
There, great festivities awaited them… complete with Gryffindor banners and butterbeer for everyone. Everyone was very excited that someone finally brought excitement into the least-then-interesting potion presentations. And of course, it took courage (if not stupidity) to mouth off to Snape.
Everyone was celebrating… except for the Golden Boy, who felt resentful that he was not the center of attention anymore. He had to get it back somehow… So he yelled,
"Well, you've still got detention with him!"
Hermione paused celebrating and a thoughtful look passed over her face… but then she shrugged it off and continued getting drunk.
Harry, still eager for attention, exclaimed, "Well, it was me who told her to do it anyway!"
"Oh…" sighed the crowd and they swarmed towards the Boy-Who-Lied.
"No! He's lying!! It was me!! It was my insolence!!" shouted Hermione, but it was pointless… the gullibility of the crowd brought the end to her 15 minutes of fame. Harry stuck out his tongue at her as she rolled her eyes at the easily manipulated crowd.
After all, she still did have that detention to look towards.
And boy, was she excited.