A/N: I do not own How I Met Your Mother. Really I don't
"Haaave you met Ted?"
Somehow those four words altered her entire New York existence. Somehow the result of this unusually bizarre pickup line, secured her a place in one those tight cliques of friends she thought only existed on television. She liked the three of them at once. Marshall and Lilly and Ted, Ted especially. Ted, who after one date fancied himself in love with her. She'd laughed it off then. He didn't know her, she rationalized, he was in love with the idea of her. And part of her hated that she wasn't in love with the idea of him. He was in the right age bracket, he had a good job, he was attractive in a John Cusack sort of way, and he wanted to settle down, to make a commitment, to start a family. Part of her was terrified that she didn't want any of those things, but the other part knew wholeheartedly that she didn't, at least not now. She though that his infatuation with her would fade, he would realize that she wasn't his perfect girl, she couldn't be the perfect girlfriend or the perfect wife. She figured that he would move on, and she would want him to, and he would love her as only a friend. Because that's all she could handle from Ted. But here she was, they were friends for one year, and dating for seven months, and he still looked at her with the same adoration he had that first night when he'd uttered perhaps the most frightening phrase she'd ever heard. And now she loved him too, he'd broken down her defenses enough for her to admit that. She loved him. But she was not as disillusioned as he. So now she was distraught and heartbroken because they had tried and it hadn't worked. And she was forced to realize her actual greatest fear.
She had liked the three of them when she met them, Marshall, Lilly, and Ted. Marshall had a certain goofy charm, it was obvious that he loved Lilly and cared about Ted like a brother. Lilly was fun and beautiful and caring, and loved Marshall back just as hard, despite her lapse in judgment. They both realized that Ted held them together in a lot of ways, he'd been there for their entire relationship and they really could not cope without him. When she first met them, she didn't realize there was another member of this group. They were so close knit, relied so exclusively on each other, where would anyone else fit. She was so wrapped up in this presumption that she forgot that the voice behind the infamous "have you met, Ted?" was not Marshall's. She was not prepared for Barney. Somehow, he fit into the group so effortlessly, despite his differences. She often wondered where he came from, why he was such an integral part of the group against all reason. Ted told her the story once, about how Barney had just decided that he would teach Ted how to live. And just like that with one line he was into the group. And with one line, he'd gotten Robin in too. When she saw Barney she sometimes saw some of herself in him, that's why she resisted getting too close. Part of her was inexplicitly drawn to him. One night of hanging out with him, when it was Marshall and Lilly's 9 year anniversary and Ted was trying to sleep with Victoria, she saw what it would be like to let herself succumb to Barney's life style, and she mostly loved it. But back then she still had the possibility of Ted, and she knew that if she yielded to Barney she could never have him. So she pulled back. And again when her break-up with Ted was so new, and she's so disheartened that it didn't work out, as she caught Barney's eye at Marshall and Lilly's wedding, she felt herself being seduced into his world. So she ran to Argentina, to try to change and get over Ted, and she comes back convinced she's a new person. But she finally comes to her senses, dumps Gael and does what she wants. She suits up, and meets Barney for a drink.