Dean's mind was over worked. He didn't know what to do. Well, he knew what he had to do. But he didn't want to do it. His mind blanked and he felt his heart beat increase to a pace he couldn't comprehend. He wanted it to slow down so he could think properly, but all he could hear was the uneven beat of his heart racing and racing.
BADUM.
BADUM.
BA-BADUM.
Castiel looked to him with frightened eyes, dark eyes. Dean knew the ex-angel was suffering. Suffering horribly. Cas hadn't been an angel for two years and now it was going to end. Someone had attacked him. Bitten him. Castiel was turning. He'd not been able to control the urges flowing through his veins. He cried out into the quietness of the room, Dean's heart beat and flowing blood driving him mad.
"DEAN!" Castiel cried out, causing Dean to jump. He came back down to reality and looked to Castiel. There was only one thing he could do and he didn't want to do it. He loved Cas. His eyes felt swollen and his throat was dry, "Dean, please.. I don't want to hurt anyone. There is no chance of reversing this. I can't hurt anyone else. I know how this works and I know I am doomed to do it again. I have tasted blood. A woman's blood."
Dean shook his head, "No, no, no! There has to be a way, Cas!" he grabbed at his own hair, frustrated, "I'm not killing you! It's not happening!" he kicked the side table next to him as Castiel fell down onto his knees, clutching at the carpet beneath him. He didn't want to hurt Dean. He couldn't do that, but he couldn't kill himself either. He didn't have the will to do so.
"Dean! There's no other way! I must die, but if you will not destroy the monster inside me. I will do it myself," Dean turned around as Castiel said this and glared at him. He would not let the ex-angel kill himself. Castiel could not die. Not after everything they had been through together. It wasn't right!
"Please.. don't make me do this, Cas," Dean pleaded, now kneeling before /his/ ex-angel. The man that he had claimed to be his in the past. Someone he could trust. Someone he had grown to love so deeply. It wasn't fair to have all this happen. He didn't want to be alone. When Dean had set aside his hunting after Cas became human, Sam continued on. He only saw his brother periodically now. He couldn't be alone. He didn't want to be alone.
"There's no other way, Dean.. I can hear you. I can feel you in ways I wish I couldn't," Dean knew what it was like, but not to this extent. Castiel was fighting his urges. His eyes were so dark. A hoarse cough came from the ex-angel has his teeth showed through, "Please.." he grabbed at Dean's shoulder tightly, one hand over the burn mark.
Dean cringed to the touch. It wasn't the same. It wasn't like other times. This was it. This was their final moment together. He leaned in, pressing his lips to Castiel's in a rough manner. He could taste the dried blood still on Castiel's lips, but he didn't care. The ex-angel was shocked, but he returned it in a manner that was less rough. He didn't want to hurt Dean.
When Dean pulled away, his forehead rested against Castiel's and he took in a deep breath, "I don't want to be alone," he mumbled out. He couldn't take the idea of being alone, "And I don't want to go back, Cas." And Castiel understood. He gave a small nod against Dean's forehead, not knowing what else he could say - but he didn't know how much longer he could hang on like this.
Dean smelled so good. So /delicious/. He cringed, withdrawing from Dean instantly and he slid backwards from him, "Dean, you need to do it. DO IT NOW!" Castiel clutched at the ground again, dropping his head as he felt the tears welling up in his eyes. Dean stood, looking down to the man he was about to kill. He couldn't do this.. could he?
Dean turned, grabbing the long blade off the edge of the bed and looked back to Castiel, "It's not fair," he muttered out, raising the blade. He didn't want to do it, but Castiel looked up to him with sudden bloodshot eyes and he knew what he had to do.
"It never is," Castiel said in response, a twisted grin forming across his lips. But from the moment Castiel lost his mind, one thing sprang out of his lips and he began to lunge at Dean, "I love you." Dean was quicker though, bringing the blade down against the ex-angel's neck. The second it cut through and Castiel dropped to the floor, a bouncing sound echoing through Dean's mind, the hunter stopped.
Dean stumbled backwards, falling onto his behind as he looked to the dead man in front of him, "I love you too.." he mumbled out, feeling the guilt wash over him and the tears begin to fill his eyes, "I do.. I really do, Cas…"