Miyuki's Spaced-Out Secret

by Dee "ChakichakiGirl" Eon

Foreword:

Hi! Need your feedback on this pre-doujinshi beta read inspired by the charitably retouched unsigned artwork on Deviant Art's file "Miyuki's Spaced-Out ", this light novel's in the off-the-wall spirit of LuckyStar Murder Case and Pocket Travelers, being super non-canon but remaining faithful to the characters. Well, not all of them...

- - -

"Oh dear, it looks like it's going to rain!" Miyuki Takara said with foreboding at turbid slate skies over the crowded beach and the light pleasure craft dock they were approaching.

Konata Izumi shrugged. "Naw, it'll all blow over, you'll see! Besides I like summer drizzles, tickling so warm and fuzzy all over your skin like sly little fingertips!"

Kagami Hiiragi snickered. "I don't want to know why you liken it that way, like why you're wearing a sixth-grade swimsuit."

"Ah, I wear it with pride! If you notice, Kagamin, it gets me way more gawks than all your two-piecers!"

"That kind of 'gawk' is a sad testament of the state of Japanese morals these days!" Kagami sourly retorted.

"At least it keeps boys from bothering us!" Tsukasa Hiiragi remarked. "Boys make me nervous – especially ones with cameras!"

"You need glasses more than Yuki-chan! How could my appeal keep boys away??" rebuffed Konata as they stepped up on the dock where paddle boats were. An attendant bowed to them.

"Hi ladies!"

"Hi!" the girls replied with a bow. "We'd like to go out together if it's possible," Kagami requested.

"Well, you're in luck!" he said, pointing out a four seater. "That's the last one left. Only thing, I'm afraid your little sister's not old enough. Rules."

Konata's harelipped lip curled even more; "I'm three months older than they are!"

"Older? Really??" the attendant said like it was a joke before he saw the others nod and he sheepishly chuckled. "Oh. My apologies. Well, too bad all the guys on the beach don't know that or you'd all be having a lot more fun!"

The girls tittered except for Konata who glowered at Tsukasa's coy smug smile while Kagami eyed the pedal boats; "Are you sure they're safe, sir?"

"Easy as a bicycle! Just steer by pedaling, which turns paddles in the rear. These Styrofoam pontoons will keep you upright in a tidal wave and won't ever sink."

"Somewhere I heard that before," Miyuki skittishly said, "Maybe I should just sit it out on the beach with peach-flavored iced green tea as usual," she said, pink tresses swirling like a gossamer cape as she turned aside before Konata grabbed her arm.

"Hey, com'on Yuki-chan! Can't be a wallflower all your sweet moe life! Geese, if you're gonna be so shy why come bouncing out in a ravishing bikini??"

"But I – I can't swim, Konata-san!"

"I don't swim so good either out of a swim ring! And even if we somehow fall out we're wearing life vests!"

"I – I break out in rashes in salt water."

"Look, you're sitting high off the water and those big float things will keep us that way better than a rowboat at the park."

"But – suppose something completely unforeseen happens?"

"What's gonna happen? Besides if anything did, if I'm lucky I get to try out some artificial respiration on ya!" Konata lasciviously quipped then slyly glanced over at Kagami. "But if I'm twice lucky, maybe Kagamin can try it on me!"

Kagami smirked. "Pets first!"

Too polite to refuse her friends, Miyuki grudgingly but gracefully bowed and reluctantly joined the others as the attendant passed out inflatable life vests and helped each of them step unto the paddle-boat's high seats. Konata noticed the way the other attendants and beach goers were ogling how Miyuki stuffed and brimmed her peach bikini.

"Man, Yuki-chan! You're just a smile and sly blink away from a free lunch and dinner – and a breakfast if he's really lucky!"

Miyuki blushed and shyly brushed back a stray pink wisp from her cheek. "Beauty's only in the mind of the beholder, Konata-san," she demurely replied.

"Don't be so modest, Yuki-chan! Me and Kagami and Tsukasa got excuses why guys at school don't hit on us; I'm a weirdo, Tsukasa's a ditz and Kagamin's an orc –"

"Hey!!" the twins chorused.

"But you're the ultimate moe eye-candy, yet you keep dodging guys so much they don't even ask anymore. I mean there's shy and there's shy, but you're turning down passes to heaven, babe! I'd kill for just half your moe!"

"I'm just not – interested in any relationship right now, Konata-san," Miyuki uncomfortably replied. "I'm – much too involved just learning about the world."

"Man, I'm NEVER that busy!"

"No, just for video games and amine!" Kagami chided and Konata noticed Miyuki wincing at that.

"Well, I sort of expected Kagami to be rooting for her kind, but I sure could've used a little more cheerleading from you, Yuki-chan, instead of wincing and frowning at all the monsters I was blasting away in the beach arcade!"

"I – I just thought that – there was was a little too much blood-thirsty glee shining in your eyes as you slaughtered them, Konata-san," Miyuki admonished with a tint of bitterness the others found surprising. "Just because they look different doesn't make them bad or monsters. You should have tolerance of beings different from yourself. That's the only way humanity's going to survive in the universe."

"Hey, I fought the Quawik right alongside the Xortzen and they're as bug-eyed as you can get!"

Kagami sighed. "Still don't get it, do you, Mario-brain? Let's get crackin'!"

The attendant pushed them off and wistfully watched their slim legs pump the craft's bicycle-like pedals and off they went.

"This is cool! Let's see how far out we can go!" Konata said, pedaling harder than the others and so skewing their course.

Kagami chided. "Stop Konata! You're making us go in circles!"

They managed to synchronize their pedaling and found themselves churning water further and further out.

"Whoa! We're way out here!" Konata clucked like a psyched-up skydiver at a plane's door. "Wonder how deep it is out here."

"Too deep!" Miyuki nervously said. "Let's start back! It's starting to get too overcast and dark anyway!"

Tsukasa's ears perked. "Listen! Do you hear lots of faint whistles?" she asked and they craned heads and glanced around.

"It's coming from the beach!" Kagami said, squinting hard. "I think they're signaling everybody out of the water!"

"Duuuuummmm-da! Dummmmmm-da!" Konata impishly hummed deep and loud;. "Dumm-da Dumm-da Dumm-da Dumm-da Dumm-da Dumm-da –!"

Miyuki and Tsukasa mewled in fear and Kagami slapped Konata's thigh.

"Stop that, Konata! Besides we're safe from any sharks sitting up here! Now let's paddle back! You made us come out too far anyway!"

Suddenly there was a low steady rumble coming from everywhere, and quizzically Tsukasa glanced around, "What's that, Onee-chan??"

"I dunno. Sounds almost like a – a train!"

Konata scoffed. "What's a train doing out here??"

Suddenly, to their shock and awe and horror, they all saw it.

With a whooshing roar, a swirling cone of gray dropped out of the dark overcast and struck the water only a short distance away and turned blue as it began sucking volumes of ocean that rained back in torrents.

"Waterspout!!" cried Miyuki. "A sea-borne tornado!!"

"Pedal everyone! Hard! Harder!!" Kagami cried and they all furiously pedaled toward the far shore, but the storm was quicker and gained behind them. "Get under the seats and grab anything tight!!"

They ducked under the seats and grabbed the legs and struts bolted to the pontoons and held on for dear life and screamed as the roaring swirl grabbed their craft and hurtled it aloft like a leaf. The four screamed as they held on for sheer life in a dark blasting maelstrom trying to tear them away, but fortunately they were also pinned under the seats by terrible g-forces as their craft was whipped around the roaring vortex. Eyes shut tight with terror and prayer, they were flung off in a swift but low seaward trajectory, the craft skimming and skipping atop the water like a flat rock, breaking up with each hit before capsizing to a stop, the disintegrating floats absorbing the impact and crunch that would've fatally been imparted to the girls. Seized by shock for long dangerous seconds, they let go of the shattered metal seats just before they were dragged under with them. Kagami saw nearby Tsukasa and Miyuki clinging to the split pontoons like tiny floats, but no one else.

"Konata!! Konata!!" cried Kagami, anxiously splashing about for any sign then a blue head broke the surface, sputtering and flailing, and with a cry of angst Kagami beat water toward Konata whose life vest had been torn off by the wind.

"Konata! What's wrong??"

"L – L – Leg–!!" Konata sputtered between gulps.

"Leg cramp?? Then hold on to me!!"

Konata did more than that but practically tried to climb on the twin's head and kept pushing her under until Kagami managed to get a head-lock on the tiny panicked tomboy and stroked to the shattered float to the others. Kagami solicitously watched Konata gulp for breath beside her before their eyes met for an uncomfortably reassuring moment then Konata gave a thumbs-up.

"Look!" cried Tsukasa, pointing to a tiny rocky mound just breaking the surface several hundred meters away.

"Paddle!!" Kagami cried, their feet furiously beating water while they clung the platoon halves and after long minutes they crashed among the rounded boulders of a rocky bar that could scarcely be called an island, being even smaller than a tennis court with a center ten-foot mound of rubble and a 'shore' cluttered with driftwood and flotsam and bowling-ball sized clumps of seaweed.

"Everyone alright??" Kagami cried. "Anybody hurt?"

"Woe! Look at all my scratches!" whined Tsukasa at her skinned limbs.

Konata snickered. "Too bad a few broken bones didn't take your mind off all that!"

"Enough, Konata! It's a miracle we're all alive!"

"Yea, we can thank our lucky stars!...er, why you all looking me funny like that? But man, that was one mean Oz express! And check it out -- the sun's already breaking out, like that thing never even happened."

"You could've said thank you to Onee-chan, Kona-chan!" Tsukasa demurely chided.

"Forget it! I would've done it for anyone!" Kagami asserted with a shrug as though not expecting any such courteous thanks from Konata, or somehow timid of being reminded what she did with such passion and panic.

Konata opened her harelipped lips; "I –"

"Don't say anything, Konata. I don't need to hear anything that had to be prompted out of you!"

"I just wanted to say I didn't know you were such a great swimmer, Kagamin!"

Kagami sighed, "Well, you nearly took both us thrashing like that! Maybe now you'll learn to swim better instead of stuffing swim rings!"

"But you really cared about me! You didn't give up helping me even if you drowned! I'm touched! I haven't felt this way since we switched seats at the concert!"

Kagami blushed. "Look, I told you – I would've done it for anybody! Quit making such a big deal out of it!"

"No, this is a debt of honor that must be paid in full! – like any Maskon Knight to his comrades after getting his bacon pulled from the dragon fire! Kagami, for now on I'm your third twin slave!"

"Huh??" Tsukasa squeaked.

"You just ask or snap your fingers and I'll be there, Kagamin! Ask for the moon and the stars and I'll lay it at your feet! There ain't no mountain high enough or river wide enough to keep me from owing up to my best and bravest friend! Polish your shoes, wash your 'jammies, make your bed and warm it too, I'll do anything for you for the rest of our lives! Just ask!"

"Just doing your own homework would be enough!" stated Kagami to a suddenly frozen Konata and Kagami rolled her eyes. "I guess there is one high enough!" she snickered, turning to see Miyuki groping to her feet. "How you doing, Yuki-chan?"

"Not so good I'm afraid, Kagami-san. It seems I've lost my glasses!"

"Oh you poor thing!"

"If I squint hard enough I can make out shapes and faces, but then it starts to hurt."

"Well, there's lots of trash and sharp rocks around here for you to stub a toe on and get tetanus from, so maybe you ought just sit and stay put for now."

"Yes, I believe that's a prudent idea, Kagami-san. Thank you."

Konata groaned. "What a time to get gorgeous and meganekko-moe!"

"Konata, can't you ever be serious??"

"Just keeping our spirits high, Kagamin! You'd be surprised how well some blustery battle hymns can bring your team together when you're lost deep the black forest with Tiamat stalking you!"

"You know Konata, it's a good thing you're tiny so you'll fit the PS2 box you'll be buried in!" Kagami sourly quipped then looked around. "What kind of island is this anyway? It's more like a pile of rocks and garbage!"

"From what I'm able to squint, I believe this must be an outcrop of a barrier reef, not to be confused with the Barrier Reef in Australia," Miyuki surmised (background of banter piano jingle); "In the last months of World War Two, hundreds of boats of all types were scuttled and sunk atop sand bars, shallows and reefs along the coast to retard a main invasion from allied vessels and landing craft long enough to shell their positions from onshore artillery, though most of these obstacles were completely underwater and meant to gut the keel of any vessel. They even used garbage and debris left over from city fire bombings in these barriers as well, but over the decades tides have washed subsurface rocks and stones up on these outcrops that promotes reef building organisms, in addition to an assortment of flotsam and jetsam as you see mixed with seaweed of the Macrocystis pyrifera family, which hosts a variety of crustacean and invertebrate denizens –"

"Time out! Time out! We catch the drift, Miss Wiki-Tiki!" Konata sighed. "Geeze, feels like you just can't get away from education for love or money!"

"At least it's dry land!" Tsukasa said in relief, eying the mainland's shadowy mountains in the horizon. "I wonder how far we were blown away!"

"Well, by the way it looks when we took trips on the Niigata ferry, I'd say we're at least five miles from shore," Kagami declared, shaking her head. "Way too far to swim in our condition and these currents."

"Don't matter anyway; can't swim!" Konata said, "And neither can Yuki-chan, right, Yuki-chan?"

"I – no, no..." Miyuki admitted, suddenly fretfully touching below her neck as though missing something.

Waving her arms toward the distant bumpy horizon, Tsukasa asked. "Maybe someone can see us!"

"If you flap harder you might even be able to tell them yourself!" Konata quipped, cambering atop the mound and scouting the area. "Geese! Our backyard's bigger than this – and in Japan that's saying something! No way anyone on the beach's gonna spot us!"

"There're bound to be rescue boats and airplanes passing by!" Kagami said. "We have to signal them!"

"With what?"

"We can make a fire!" Tsukasa said and Konata snorted and gestured at the soaked driftwood; "Gotta match?"

Kagami piped in; "How about any mirrors? Or anything shiny?"

"Where??" Konata cackled, waving at their swimsuits; "Except for our teeth, forget it. How 'bout you, Yuki-chan? Any bright ideas? Yuki-chan? Miyuki!"

"Huh?? Oh, I'm – sorry. I...I...no," Miyuki vapidly answered as though disengaged from her reflex encyclopedic response while preoccupied in something infinitely more sober. "If this is indeed a barrier reef, I don't think any boats are going to come near this entire area for fear of running aground. It's bound to be on their nautical charts as an exclusion zone."

"Exclusion zone? That anything like the Twilight Zone??" Konata effused. "Just great! Just great!"

"Don't lose hope everybody! Someone will know we're missing and our folks are sure to send a search party!" Kagami said.

"But how long, Onee-chan??" whined Tsukasa.

"I – I dunno, Tsukasa. Depends on how badly the storm affected the mainland too I suppose. There might be lots of injuries for them to worry about first before they notice we're missing."

"Are you saying we might be here to sundown?"

"Tsukasa, we might be here to moonrise."

"Yo, I didn't truck any Girl Scout gear!" Konata said.

"So we'll just have to rough it till they search for us – unless you whip out your UFO radio to get us picked up on the next saucer!" Kagami quipped, spotting Miyuki moving away and looking around almost anxiously. Sympathizing, Kagami stooped by her.

"Don't be down, Yuki-chan. I'm sorry Konata dragged you into this, but we'll get out of this! You'll see."

"I – I hope so, Kagami-san," Miyuki half-whispered, looking about with foreboding. "I – I don't like this place."

"Join the club!"

"You don't understand. I feel – feel..."

"Feel what, Yuji-chan?"

"I...I..." The pink-blond shook her head. "Forget it."

"Tell us!"

"No, I – I'll wait. Maybe a plane or helicopter might spot us in time."

"In time? What do you mean 'in time'?" asked Kagami and Miyuki blushed and fumbled.

"Uh, er –I meant...meant before we – we run out of fresh water."

"Here's a 4-11 for you, hawkeye; we ain't got ANY fresh water to run out of!" Konata quipped.

"Uh, then – there might be sealed bottles or cans of potable liquids in all this flotsam, and the bottoms of some might be polished to shine sunlight to a plane overhead, and some of this seaweed could be spread to dry in the sun to act as blankets at night, according to the Civil Air Patrol ditching survival tactics manual."

Kagami nodded and petted Miyuki's shoulder. "Now that's the most constructive and encouraging thing I've heard all day! Way to go, Yuki-chan!"

"Yea!" Tsukasa perked, heartened. "Boy, Gilligan's Island sure could've used you, Yuki-chan!"

Humbled Konata blurted; "Hey! If you wanna hear survival tactics, try being buck-naked up a windy mountain peak, all alone up to your butt fighting off hordes of acid-spittin' bug-eyed Deltrax warriors with poison-tipped spears who are all pissed at you just because you flipped their ugly princess!!..."

- - -

For the rest of the afternoon between scanning the skies, Konata and Kagami rummaged the littered shore for plastic bottles and odd trash to pass empty soda and tea cans off to Miyuki and Tsukasa who polished their bottoms as little mirrors while tossing stones at crabs out to nibble their toes.

"Somebody's gotta stand watch while the others sleep or we'll be eaten alive!" Tsukasa rued, a fresh dismay to sob in Kagami's lap while Miyuki sat apart, gazing at the setting sun. She started as Kagami gently touched her shoulder.

"It'll get chilly at night out here. I think we should sleep huddled together for warmth, okay?"

Miyuki looked up then shook her head. "I – I'm sorry, Kagami-san, but I can't do that."

"Don't worry, I'll be between you and Konata."

"It's not that. It's -- It's something else."

"Why not? Look, I know you're scared and frightened, Yuki-chan, but I've never seen you this down."

Miyuki looked up with a pondering look, reluctant and skittish, then she sighed.

"I – I feel something...coming from this mound..." Miyuki fretfully admitted.

"Feel something? What?"

Miyuki chewed her cute lower lip and looked around. "It – It feels like weak sunlight, but it's not."

"What feels like sunlight?" asked Kagami and Miyuki lowered her head, contemplating something both too private to ever share to anyone living but sighing in resignation.

"Al – Alpha radiation."

"Radiation??" the other three chorused.

"It's not enough to hurt you all, but it's just enough to...to...affect me."

"Affect just you? How? More to the point, how could you know if it were so?"

Miyuki demurred. "I – can, that's all,"

"Radiation??" Konata scoffed. "How can there be any here anyway?"

"I was pondering that for the last few hours, and I believe that this barrier reef part just happens to also be comprised of debris and rubble from old clock and watch factories that were destroyed during the war."

"Clocks and watches??" Konata said, rolling eyes at an as quizzical Kagami.

"Yes. In the pre-war era it was common practice to use radium paint for the dials and hands to make them glow at night, but the practice was stopped shortly after the war because the concern of radiation hazard to the workers."

"You're saying we're sitting on all the stuff they used for that?" Kagami said with not a little muted skepticism.

"Yes. Mild alpha emissions, tingling me all over, so it's – beginning," she grimly uttered.

"What's beginning??"

Miyuki looked up with violet eyes more pressured by dread to admit than wanting to; "I – I have a confession to make so that none of you are frightened in case – in case we're not rescued in time."

"'In time'? What do you mean?"

"It's – so very difficult for me to say this because you're all genuinely my friends. In fact, the best I ever had. You make me truly feel like I'm one of you."

"You ARE one of us, Miyuki!"

"No...not – really..."

"Get with it, Yuki-chan!"

"Uh, yes, sorry. You see, it's rather hard to explain."

"Try it! Most the time it's hard understanding you anyway!"

With a hesitant pause, Miyuki waved over herself. "You see, this is not – not actually my true natural self."

"You mean you were once a flat-chested geek?"

"Konata!" chided Kagami. "Go on, Yuki-chan."

"No, I understand. This – might sound fantastically and totally incredible and unreal to you, but...you see...I ...my family...we're ...actually...actually..."

"Actually what?" prodded Kagami with familiar exasperation and Miyuki held her breath and turned aside..

"Mantisoids."

Konata snorted. "What's your religion got to do with it?"

"It's not our faith. It's what we – are."

"Are? What do you mean?"

"See, we're – originally from a different world sixty-nine decimal four light-years away, called Fzwjqlcbvx."

"Man, even my harelip can't curl up double 'nuff to say that, less spell it! 'Different world'?"

"Yes. Very different, though we've been living and hatching on Earth so long that we almost regard ourselves as dual-citizens."

"'Hatch'??" Konata asked.

"Er, yes, we chose to propagate in our native state instead of in our human forms to help keep our species identity."

"I – see..." Kagami said with wary gentleness. "You're saying that – that you're really some kind of – alien?"

"Awesome!" Konata blurted, starry-eyed.

"Oh, we don't really feel like we're 'aliens' since we've been here for over seven hundred centuries when a – a colony of us were left here."

"Seven hundred centuries??" Konata blurted. "And all that time you all were living here and eating here and having fun and doing jobs no one else wants to do and nobody never caught on that you're aliens??"

"No, in our human form we're totally undetectable."

"Of course..." Kagami politely concurred, touching over Miyuki's head. "Er, does it hurt anywhere here like after sensei wakes Konata in class?"

"I know how it must sound to you, but it's important you understand what's going to happen if I'm exposed any longer to this alpha radiation."

"Well, just what does it do?" asked Konata, rapt at a good story.

"You see, it could trigger my cells to lose their induced metamorphized state."

Puzzled Tsukasa asked. "But you left your cell in our beach hotel!"

Kagami rolled her eyes. "She means body cells! Go on Yuki-chan!"

"I'll simplify it," Miyuki said. (background of banter piano jingle) "See, a Mantisoid's cells contain a dual unused DNA element which can be programmed with the DNA pattern of other life forms by way of a device called the metamorphic-trans-stator. This way, our cellular structure can assume the physiology of any other mass-compatible life-form, much how like the cells of a caterpillar are rearranged into a butterfly, but at a greatly accelerated level without causing damaging heat or cellular confusion and without affecting our mnemonic structures."

Tsukasa uttered; "'Oh.'"

Konata was starry-eyed with video-game fascination. "Cool! So not even our school nurse or your dentist can tell you're any different, uh?" she asked while Miyuki and Tsukasa winced.

"Only deep DNA analysis, although metamorphization isn't perfect and there are often tiny flaws, like bad eyesight and weak teeth and slight cerebral deficits like clumsiness and pink hair."

"Figures! So you're saying that this radium radiation can undo all that – stuff?"

"Yes, it could mimic the same radiation frequencies the metamorphic trans-stator's Zelta crystal uses and by ionization deactivate our programmed dual DNA element, in which case our native one reasserts itself to reshape our natural physiology."

"Zelta crystal! Cool!" Konata said while Kagami smirked at her. "So, what do you 'Mantisoid' dudes really look like, uh?"

Miyuki demurred. "This will sound strange, Konata-san, but I can't entirely recall right now."

"Can't remember what you look like??" asked Kagami with a tinge of concern.

"Oh I will little by little till I'm – fully de-morphed. See, amnesia is a safety measure that keeps us from unwittingly exposing our true selves, and our Mantisoid subconscious only kicks in full awareness for mating and emergencies as this."

"Man, that sounds like it'd make one awesome dating sim!"

"Konata, shut-up! Miyuki –" Kagami asked with almost ginger softness. "Er. Yuki-chan, we're getting off this pile, you know that, right? We'll be back in school before you know it!"

"But suppose not in time??" Miyuki ruefully sighed at the setting sun. "This outcrop is far too small for you all to hide, so – meeting me can't be avoided. But whatever you see, I won't hurt you – I swear to you. As – as horrible as I might look."

Konata quipped at Miyuki's form. "If that's 'horrible' I'd be happy with being just bad anytime!"

"If you're frightened I'll understand, and even though Mantisoids are instinctively savage fighters, I won't hurt you if you attack me out of fear, I promise."

Kagami gently patted Miyuki's shoulder and very, very gently said; "I understand, Yuki-chan. You can sleep alone if you wish, but if you feel chilly come into our huddle, okay?"

"You're so kind, Kagami-san. I'm so happy we were friends!"

Kagami nodded and left Miyuki's side and gestured the others aside and Konata clucked; "O Wow! Isn't that hyper-awesome! Miyuki-san's really an alien! I always knew the truth was out here somewhere! Just never thought it'd been THIS close!"

"You little ditz! Can't you tell??" Kagami harshly whispered, "Yuki-chan's lost it! She's fantasizing in fear to escape the reality of what's happening to us!"

"You really think so??" Tsukasa asked and Kagami rolled her eyes to keep from whacking her.

"I'm afraid so. She's been buried in books so long that she doesn't know how to handle a crisis in the real world so she's retreated into a safe fantasy world."

"But Kona-chan seems alright."

"I guess because video games fight back and books don't!"

"Hey!" Konata rebuffed. "Sims can prepare you for the real world! Ask any airplane pilot!"

"I'm sure JAL doesn't use Mintendo!" Kagami wryly said.

- - -

Come dawn, Tsukasa's shriek of terror woke Kagami and Konata's spooning cuddle for warmth as she ran back besides her startled sister, much to Konata's smirk of exasperation as she quickly drew her sly busy warm palm back to her side.

"Tsukasa!" Kagami cried, partly relieved by a legitimate excuse to stop feigning sleep and ignorance of groping strokes through half the night. "What's wrong??"

Shuddering in stark terror, Tsukasa was barely able to speak. "I – I – I went behind th – th – the hill to take a cra– er, to – to go to th – th– the bathroom and saw – a – a – !!"

"What 'a', Tsukasa?"

"A – A big bug lying back there!"

Kagami's purple eyes rolled. "A bug?"

"A BIG bug, Onee-chan!! Big as a house!!"

Vexed Konata snickered. "House?? You couldn't hide a car back there! Look, I'll kick it back into the drink so that you can go back there to take your sweet time unloading one so me and Kaggie could – er, get some sleep!" she muttered while Kagami blushed as she sauntered to the mound.

"No Kona-chan!" Tsukasa shrieked. "Don't go back there!!"

Konata disappeared behind the mound . "HOLY CRAP!!" came her yell only moments ahead of her tearing right back. "Holy friggin' turds of Mars!!"

"What?" Kagami cried.

"It's a huge friggin' IT!"

"What??"

"Said there's a BIG friggin' IT lying back there! Like a bad transform 'tween a beetle and a lobster!"

"I've seen big beetles before."

"Taller than you??"

"Oh no!!" Tsukasa glanced about in dismay. "Where's Yuki-chan??"

"She's gone!" Konata said. "Shoot! She must've seen it first and took off!"

"She can't swim, remember??"

"Shoot – I'd be a fast learner!"

"Besides, it's way too far to swim back! It's too far and cold, and she'd – she'd drown!"

"Or maybe it's – it's eaten her!" Tsukasa wailed. "Poor poor Yuki-chan!!"

They gasped to see a mottled green triangular head with two huge compound eyes and grossly operating mouth parts rise from behind the rocky mound, spindly and taller than a man and looking like a furry praying mantis with four rear legs and two long spiny forearms tipped with serrated claws.

"Omigosh!!" Kagami cried after her piercing scream, witlessly signing the cross over her chest before Tsukasa seized her tight.

"We're doomed! Just like poor Yuki-chan!" Tsukasa sobbed while Konata scrambled for a piece of driftwood with protruding rusty nails as a club.

"Aw man! Where's Gort when you really need him??"

The creature canted its head like it noticed Tsukasa's distress and looked around and saw a large flat gray rock and scraped the sharp tip of one of its claws over the slate-like surface.

Kagami cried; "What's it doing?"

"Sharpening its claws!" Tsukasa wailed and Konata brandished her nail-spiked makeshift club.

"Well, a couple of whacks from this and it'll need a school-full of tetanus shots!"

"Don't go near it, Kona-chan!!" cried Tsukasa as Konata warily moved toward the beast.

"Can't let'em see you're scared or they'll pounce you, ladies! A mock offense is always the best defense! I can handle this! Just like the Zerkons!"

"Konata, this isn't any game!!" scolded a terrified Kagami, "That thing's big as a bear and those claws!"

"Claws. Right..." Konata paused then looked around and grabbed flotsam cans and bottles and pitched them at the beast.

Tsukasa cried; "Stop! You'll only make it mad!"

"Hey, better than burping!" Konata replied, throwing rapid-fire power-underhand pitches that rained trash at the ducking thing which to their surprise started backing up into the water. "Alright! No sweat! Got it on the swim!!"

"Be careful, you lil' idiot!" Kagami cried.

"Chill, princesses! Your blue knight's got everything under control! Yea! Easy tank! Bad looks and no bite! And you're gonna owe me big time, Kagamin!"

"Owe you? How?"

"Can't say now. There're minors listening!"

"Huh??" squeaked Tsukasa.

"Yea! Let's do some surfin' freak! Man! This ugly's one real wimp!!"

Noticing how Konata's missiles were bouncing off the beast's shell, Kagami wondered aloud; "That's not really hurting it! So why isn't it coming after us?"

"Maybe it's – it's full!" Tsukasa bemoaned, huddling with Kagami while Konata, effecting a giant knight, moved closer to hurtle even larger trash.

"Who cares! We got it on the run!" Konata cackled. "Yea! Go 'back the black lagoon, ya freak!"

"Just don't get too close!" warned Kagami, but slightly encouraged to see the beast floundering waist-deep in the water. "You know what? I don't think it can swim either!"

"Right! Maybe I can push off far enough so it'll drown!"

Kagami wondered. "But that doesn't make any sense, it can't swim! How else did it get here??"

"Maybe it came outta a cave from all that reef junk under us or fell off a meteor or a mother-ship or something, who knows? I don't know where it came from but I sure know where it's going!"

The beast waded along the tiny reef like it was looking for another landing but Konata's missles weren't having anything of that keeping it at bay. Kagami eased Tsukasa off and joined Konata in pitching stones, and Tsukasa, with morbid curiosity, wandered apart and looked at the flat rock the beast was scratching upon and surprise gripped her. "Uh??"

"What is it?" Kagami said.

"I – I dunno! It – looks like an 'M'!"

"Just scratches that look that way, Tsukasa."

"No, take a look! It's awesome penmanship!"

"Penmanship??"

"Yes! Even better than yours, Onee-chan! It spells M...I...Y...U..."

Kagami gasped. "No! Can't be!"

Noticing Kagami's surprise the giant mantis nodded and emitted a piercing whistle sound.

"Hey! Where's my backup??" Konata yelled as Kagami broke off to join Tsukasa and inspect the stone.

Kagami shook her head in bewilderment; "I – I – don't know. But it looks like it was trying to write – Miyuki!"

"What?? Naw, that's a fluke of scribble!"

"I wish your scribble looked half this good! In fact – if I didn't know better, it almost looks like...like...Miyuki's writing!"

"Now you're crazy as a cow!!" Konata blurted and gasped and jumped back as the beast dashed ashore to grab some seaweed balls and kicked its four legs high and waved both claws in a odd rocking dance.

"What's it doing??" Tsukasa cried.

"Maybe it dances before before it dines, like the Slug-Men of Gothos!" Konata said.

"That – That rhythm! Those steps!" Kagami scratched her chin. "You know...the way it's bouncing around and swinging its claws, it's almost like it's – it's doing our OP!"

Konata snickered. "Be serious, Kagami! Geeze, imagine ME saying that!"

"Look closely, stupid! How it's kicking its legs and shaking those seaweed balls like pom-poms! It's doing our dance!"

"Com'on!"

"She's right, Kona-chan!" Tsukasa gushed in awe. "It's got our beat down pat – and without any rehearsal!"

"Naw, it's a fluke! It wasn't on our line-up, so how would it know??"

Kagami groped the most incredible thought. "It's almost like...like it's trying to tell us that...that..."

"That what, Onee-Chan?"

"That maybe – what Miyuki said was – is true! About her – really being an alien. Maybe it – it really is Miyuki!!"

The beast stopped dancing and vehemently nodded. Konata snickered;

"What?? You crazy??"

"Why not? You were lapping up her story like a starved sow before!"

"Yea, but there's not a stitch of moe in that thing!"

"So how do you explain it doing a routine that'd put the Rockettes to shame?"

"All it means is when it chowed down Miyuki that it also absorbed her brains and memory like the Slug Overlords can–!"

Tsukasa wailed and started climbing the tiny rubble mound behind them.

"–In which case we can't trust a thing it does!!"

"Look Konata, I have a gut feeling that it could've put you away faster than a goldfish getting sucked by a sumo wrestler! And if you recall, Yuki-chan was on night-watch last night so it could've jumped her without breaking a sweat and the rest of us would've been easy pickings, so why weren't we?"

"You're gonna tell me the ultimate moe's a big bug??" snickered Konata, facing the beast while brandishing her driftwood club. "If it's really you, Miyuki, say something!"

Kagami snickered. "If it could talk, it would've long ago! Not surprising what that – that mouth thing."

Suddenly Tsukasa's footing atop the mound slipped and she cried out, starting to tumble on the sharp rocks when the beast dashed forward and caught her in its cupped claws.

Tsukasa's eyes went wide then lights out. "Ohhhhh!..." She fainted.

"Tsukasa!!" Kagami screamed, grabbing a rock and pelted the beast. "Let her go! Put her down!!" she screamed but the beast was cradling Tsukasa in its fore-claws while one tip of one claw delicately touched Tsukasa's forehead.

"Shit! It's gonna suck her brains like 'Starship Troopers'!" yelled Konata, swinging her driftwood club but the beast dodged then splashed some sea-water on Tsukasa's face whose eyes fluttered open and she cringed, but less from fear than surprise as the beast released her on her feet and backed off.

"Get away from her you bastard!!" Konata cried, hurtling another rock but Tsukasa jumped in her way.

"No! Stop that!"

"What's wrong with you!"

"It is Yuki-chan! I can – feel it!"

"What – like ESP?"

"I dunno! The way it touched me. Like Yuki-chan does when she's trying to soothe you when you're down!"

"You'll be down it's hatch if you believe that! It might be a trick!!"

"No! It is! The way it touched me, it was just like Miyuki!" Tsukasa gingerly walked up to the beast.

"Tsukasa!!" Kagami cried out.

"I – I'm sorry I'm so afraid, Yuki-chan!" Tsukasa gently and sheepishly said and the mantis bowed low before her, and speechless, Kagami moved up besides her.

"No, I – I can't believe this!"

"It's true, Onee-chan! It's Yuki-chan! She won't hurt us! She wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"You mean she wasn't out of her head with that – that alien story??" Kagami said, not to bested by Tsukasa's courage standing up to the beast, easily within its reach but it showed no threatening moves. Indeed, it was even bowing to each of them and making claw gestures.

Incredulous and grimacing from a gross sight, Kagami shook her head. "I – I can't believe it! Come over here, Konata!"

"Yea, well I'll take my chances!"

Kagami snorted. "Some great video warrior! Don't ever expect me to be anyone's bride!"

"Bride??" Tsukasa baffled squeaked but Konata winced like her pride had been slighted and she warily moved up with the two and the beast found another flat stone to scratch in elegant cursive writ which Kagami read; "'I'm sorry you were so frightened. I profusely apologize.'"

"Yea, that's Miyuki alright!" Konata clucked. "Can't believe it! The ultimate moe princess's really a big bug! Man, you went to the wrong school! You ought join the S.O.S. Brigade!"

"I wouldn't blame her for sucking your brains out some!" Kagami snickered then fell abashed and squeamishly apologized to the Mantisoid. "I – I'm sorry, Yuki-chan. I – I mean –"

"Try not to puke, Kagami!" quipped Konata. "I can't believe this! A real live alien was hanging around us all this time, and we couldn't tell the difference!" she japed and noticed Kagami's wry look, "Don't say anything!"

Tsukasa nodded in jittery fascination. "No wonder Miyuki's so smart! She's an alien!"

"I'm sure it has a lot more to do with studying hard –!" Kagami chided then glanced over at Konata "– and doing homework!"

A high pitched whistling sound like clicks emitted from the beast.

"What was that??"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say it was laughing!" Tsukasa said with a chuckle then contritely caught herself. "Oh! I mean 'she' was laughing, not 'it', sorry Yuki-chan."

The Mantisoid started scratching on a flat rock in lovely cursive script; "It says, 'you must leave quickly'.

"Isn't there any other way to change you back??" Tsukasa desperately asked and got a scratched answer she read; "'Meta-morphizer at home. Call mom."

"Sure, but how??" Kagami asked and the Mantisoid spun to a pile of dry driftwood, and with its claws acting as pliers and hammers, it plucked the rusty nails out to re-bang them together into planks and in five minutes created a crude raft resting on pieces of shattered pontoons and plastic jugs full of air, and its claws snipped oars from some planks like scissors.

Konata was impressed. "Awesome! No wonder you scored a hundred at the science fair!"

"But there's not enough room for all of us!" Tsukasa noticed and the Mantisoid canted its head in a way that touched Kagami's heart. "Miyuki! You're not coming??"

"How can she?" Kagami wondered aloud with sudden concern; "If anyone sees – her like that, Godzilla would be jealous of the panic scene!"

Konata nodded. "And knowing Cousin Yui, the cops will shoot first and ask questions later."

"But – we can't just leave her out here like this, Onee-chan!"

Konata walked behind the Mantisiod. "Hey! These folded wings too? Can you fly? Maybe you can get help!"

A claw scratched a flat stone which Kagami read. "Air too thin on Earth to fly."

"Great! All dressed up and no where to go!"

Scratch. Scratch. "She says, 'you must leave now'."

"Why do I feel rushed??" Konata asked. "I want off this rock bad as the next guy, but it's like you can't wait to get rid of us!"

The Mantisoid paused then – Scratch, Scratch on a flat stone which Kagami read; "'Reverting to basic instincts. Can't control it. Go. Quickly.'"

Tsukasa asked, "Can't control it'? What's that mean?"

"If that's anything like real mantises, suddenly I don't wanna know!" Konata quipped with sincere trepidation, suddenly noticing the mantis trembling slightly. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Scratch. Scratch; "'Hot. Sun."

"Are you saying you're drying out?" asked Kagami.

Scratch. Scratch; "'No shade.'"

"Or you'll bake like a lobster in its shell?" Konata quipped.

Kagami grimaced; "Boy, Konata, you can sure overdose on some tact! Yuki-chan, can't you swim and cool off?"

Scratch scratch scratch; "She says – 'Sea water toxic! Weakens more.'"

Konata snickered. "No, it ain't! Polluted maybe, but not toxic yet!"

"For it – er, her it is!" Kagami said. "No wonder she had a thing against being underwater!"

Tsukasa was fretful. "But what'll we do? There's no shade here!"

"Then we gotta make some for her! We must!" Kagami said.

"But how??"

Mulling this, Konata spotted Miyuki's bikini parts on the rocks and snatched them up. "I got it!" she cried. "Do like a banana and peel!"

"What??"

"We can put them together as a covering over Miyuki-It!"

Kagami snorted. "Kidding? There's barely enough between us to cover it's – her head! Including that sick garment you're wearing!"

"Seaweed!" Tsukasa cried. "We can cover her with seaweed like a blanket too!"

"Yea! Like a clambake!" Konata agreed then bit her tongue and sheepishly apologized; "Er, sorry, Yuki-chan."

The girls shed their clothing and ripped into them flat tied into a shawl, and Kagami half-shut her eyes and fought against cringing as she draped them around the Mantisoid's bowed furry head and huge faceted eyes which she sensed noticed her grimacing face.

"Sorry, Yuki-chan," Kagami apologized and Konata cackled; "Yea, like even insects under a magnifying glass gross her out!"

The Mantisoid motioned at the raft and a claw gave Konata a rough shove toward it. "Aw right, aw right, don't get pushy! I don't need any incentive getting off this rock; radiation hasn't done my height or mom's family any favors from way back! We'll be back with your ma in no time! I miss your moe already!"

Naked as jaybirds, Konata and Kagami and Tsukasa climbed onto the raft and the Mantisoid gave it a massive push out.

"We'll be back quick, Yuji-chan! Promise!!" Tsukasa cried, paddling with the improvised oars toward shore.

Konata shook her head. "Man, this so weird! We're all angst up over an oversized bug-lobster!"

"Miyuki's inside that – alien!" Kagami snapped with a slight shiver. "Really! For someone used to battling next to bizarre creatures in video games I'd thought you'd be more tolerant!"

"Yes, like Onee-chan!" Tsukasa chimed in; "I never thought I'd live to see the day she'd even touch anything looking like a bug, forget a huge one!"

Kagami blushed then faced the island. "It's – she looks – gross, true...but I feel for her. Poor Yuki-chan's probably more terrified than I am, all alone and sacrificing herself so we can save ourselves."

"Huh? What do you mean, Onee-chan?"

"She's baking in the sun and starving herself to keep us safe! She's starting to 'revert', remember? Maybe she starts forgetting she's human and acts more – savage like her kind. I bet that's why she wanted us out in a hurry."

"If she starts forgetting she's Yuki-chan, will she be the same when we come back with help?"

"I'm sure her mom will know what to do!" Konata shook her head. "Unreal! Her ditzy mom's really like that too?? Man, but in some weird way that makes her even extra-moe than before!"

Tsukasa excitedly said; "I can't wait for her to change back so I can really ask her things! How long do you think it'll take for us to reach shore?" she asked and Kagami scouted the horizon.

"It might take a half a day at this rate. Then grabbing a bus to a train home –"

"And buying threads first!" Konata chimed.

"Oh, yea, forgot about that. But all be told, it'll be dark before we get home, so we couldn't get back till morning."

"Couldn't we get help to go faster?" asked Tsukasa. "Maybe the police can help!"

"Who in their right mind would believe us, Tsukasa?"

"Yea, they'll think we're just more kids on crack!" Konata said.

"But that's a long time for her to be alone like that..." Tsukasa murmured aloud toward the receding reef. "Hope no one finds her. Like, a hunter or a fisherman..."

Kagami thought with a shudder. "Who have knives and spears..."

"And guns and harpoons..."

They exchanged looks.

"Paddle faster! Hurry!!"

They landed on the rocky shore the beast stood looked perplexed. "You're coming with us, E-T!" Konata snapped.

"But how??" Tsukasa said, gesturing the bed-sized raft.

"Slam a couple more more pieces of driftwood on the raft and she lies down and we sit on her like a sleeping pony!"

"What??"

The Mantisoid vehemently shook its head and Kagami moved up before it and held her stomach down as she held its spiny claws. "We know why you want us out of here. But we're friends and friends don't desert another! You're coming with us, Yuki-chan else we're staying here!"

Tsukasa and Konata exchanged looks but said nothing.

"We know what that means too. Yuki-chan, and you wouldn't want that. Especially knowing how Konata must taste. They'll be lots to eat on-shore, so help us with the raft, Yuki-chan!"

"Yes!" Tsukasa insisted. "Your love's way stronger than any instincts to eat us!!"

The nonplussed Mantisoid suddenly reared up with vehement hissing and shrieking and menacingly brandished its snapping claws but the trio stood firm and it settled down in resignation and the others breathed easier.

Konata nodded. "Okay, now that that's outta your system, let's get started!"

Resigned, the beast turned and made short work of pounding additional driftwood planks to the raft, including some buoyant plastic bottles and Styrofoam blocks then slumped on all fours like in exhaustion.

"Miyuki!!" the Hiiragi cried, startled as the Mantisoid's forearms lightly touched each their foreheads and suddenly, ghostily superimposed the Mantisoid's form, was a totally bare Miyuki – or rather her twin brother as was made plain uncovered by only ear-length pink hair.

Tsukasa cried. "Yuki-chan!! Uh...Mi – Miyuki??"

"Creating this mental projection of my self-image saps my strength even more, but I must talk sense to you!" the boy's soft echoey voice issued inside their heads. "You're in great danger from my Mantisoid instincts in my natural form."

Kagami asked, "But – who – who are you?"

"Miyuki."

"But – But – you're a – a boy??"

The boy suddenly looked familiarly sheepish. "Um...er...I...er..."

"Don't tell me!" Konata cried, shaking her head. "You're not only really a big bug-lobster alien – you're a boy one too! Geeze! Talk about two for two! Man, Haruhi would go crazy meeting you!"

"Konata!" Kagami chided.

Tsukasa abashedly turned her face. "Uh, can't – you look like a girl again?"

Boy-Miyuki shook his head; "That shift takes much more concentration, because when Mantisoids assume alien physical forms it's coupled with their native brain states as well."

"You mean when you're Yuki-chan you're also a girl in mind too?" Kagami asked.

Konata asked. "But if you're really a boy – bug, why are you posing as a girl?"

"Uh, that's a little complicated to explain now, but I must correct you if you think that I'm just 'posing' as Miyuki, because in human form we don't know we're really Mantisoid so we won't accidentally reveal ourselves."

Kagami nodded. "That amnesia thing again?"

"It allows us to live incognito among humans as humans without fear of accidental exposure, except in emergencies when our Mantisoid subconsciousness emerges when we're about to de-morph."

"Like for mating?" Konata reminded and the projected boy blushed.

"Er, yes, and for being laid."

"Laid??"

"He means as an egg, Konata!" Kagami chided. "They're hatched, remember?"

Tsukasa mulled aloud; "Gee. That must've been rough on your mother!"

"No, we're in our native form for laying and mating, but outside that I was raised like any other human by a human family which doesn't know anything about its own truth except for our subconscious. Please understand, my human self would be just as surprised of my truth as you were."

Kagami nodded, somewhat pleased beyond relief. "I see! So in a way, you're still the same Miyuki we know whether you were born human or hatched because you – she doesn't know she's an alien, right?"

"You mean there's no difference at all even though Yuki-chan's really a bug and a boy??" Tsukasa asked.

"No, not if even her own family didn't even know they were Mantisoids, Tsukasa! Alien truth or human, she'd still been the same kind and clumsy Yuki-chan we know and love either way!"

Konata snapped her fingers. "Ultra-cool! I knew Miyuki was way too moe to fake – much less by any guy!"

Tsukasa wondered. "So you're saying when you change back to normal –"

"She IS normal now, Tsukasa!"

"I mean – when you get to change back into Yuki-chan, you won't remember any of this at all?"

"No," Boy-Miyuki said, "It'll be like it never happened – and you mustn't ever tell me. But I'm only sorry you all will know. It'll probably change how you feel about me forever, huh?"

"I can't see why!" Kagami issued. "Believe me, there're kids in school with family lives way more bizarre than your truth!" she said, glancing at Konata. "No, Miyuki, I'm glad I know your awesome truth. It's made me face my fears and bias and humility."

"Thank you. You're such stubborn but loyal friends. But I'd really feel much better if you left now."

"Miyuki, stop acting like an ass and save your strength! We're trying to help you!"

"You won't hurt us, Yuki-chan! Even if you don't mean to!" Tsukasa asserted.

"Yea!" Konata chimed in; "Your heart's too gentle and you're way too brainy to let the dark side take over! Just concentrate! Concentrate! Concentrate!"

"Who are you, Svengali??" Kagami chided. "Yuki-chan wouldn't even slap a mosquito, and I know that compassion runs deep, so I trust her!"

Tsukasa ran over and hugged the beast. "Come Yuki-chan!!"

Boy-Miyuki sighed; "Very well. Maybe I can hold off till we land so I can nibble a bear or a deer..."

"WHAT??" the twins chorused while Konata clucked with rabid anticipation.

"But even if we do make land, the authorities will grab me soon as we do and lock me up down some secret lab under a thousand microscopes and needles and drills, then all Earth will know we're here and set panic for a witch hunt to exterminate us."

Tsukasa cringed; "Drills?? Oh no! we MUST save you from that!!"

"Don't worry, we won't let that happen, Yuki-chan. Promise!" Kagami asserted. "We'll go ashore somewhere far from people and call your mom in secret and wait!"

"If we're not picked up for indecent exposure first, Kagamin!"

Boy-Miyuki sighed. "Unfortunately. mother will only think you're teasing."

Konata snickered. "Com'on, she can't be all that ditzy!"

"No, I meant she doesn't know."

Kagami groaned; "That amnesia thing again?"

"Only my native sight or smell can trigger her Mantisoid subconscious and awareness, nothing more."

"But – you told us to call your mother when we reached shore before! Yuki-chan...you – you – lied??" Kagami blurted with astonishment bordering shock.

"You said that so we wouldn't stay here with you, didn't you?" Tsukasa said, tears dripping. "Oh Yuki-chan, you're so – so unselfish!–!!"

Konata shrugged. "Hey, no change of plans! We'll just phone her mom to pick us up because we ran out of money and when she takes a peek at you, problem solved – except for strapping you to the top of the car."

Almost sheepishly, Boy-Miyuki shook his head. "Uh...we can't do that."

"Don't worry. We'll lash ya down tight."

"No, I mean meet."

"Why the hell not??"

"See...I'm not Miyuki now. I'm a boy."

"So?" Konata shrugged, "You're her son now. Kinda. Like Harisu in reverse."

"I mean I'm a male Mantisoid now."

"So what?"

"She'll smell my scent."

"She'll get over it too."

"You don't understand, Kono-chan. She'll – start to revert her native form in kind unless the trans-stator's nearby – and she won't know about that unless she's first aware of me in this form."

"Uh?? But what difference does it make?"

"Uh...see, Mantisiods don't – have the same – social order humans have..."

"What are you trying to say?" asked Kagami the abashed image.

"That...our species, in its evolution to survive if reduced to small numbers, doesn't – er, acknowledge parentage or offspring in our native states as procreative... limits..."

"Huh??" the three chorused, thoroughly bewildered, and Boy-Miyuki sighed and faced Konata.

"It's like – the old 'Lensmen' pulp series," he cryptically uttered with abashed softness and Konata's puzzled frown vanished with surprise and amazement;

"WHOA!! Kiddin??"

"No, that's about it."

"Geeze! And Kagamin thinks I'M kinky! You sure my dad's not one of you all??"

"What? What??" asked Kagami and Konata whispered in her ear and blushing Kagami's jaw dropped in appall; "No!!"

"What? What??" Tsukasa asked, leaning an ear but the two others shook heads.

"Er, I'll explain later once we get on shore. Your innocence's precious to me, Tsukasa," Kagami demurred, hurriedly turning to Boy-Miyuki; "Uh, er – well, how about others like you? Are there any in these parts who can help?"

"They would – but we don't know or could tell another either."

"Great!" Konata said. "We'd need a stealth cloak to sneak you home like this!"

"There MUST be a way!" Tsukasa cried, slapping palms together to pray.

Kagami sighed. "Tsukasa, answers like that don't fall from the sky! We have to think!"

The boy and Mantisoid's heads perked. "That's it! She's right!"

"Who?"

"There might be a chance!"

"Chance? What chance?"

"The Zelta crystals which energizes our metamorphizer trans-stators can also be found as trace particles in meteorites. If my form were exposed to even those it might stimulate my dual DNA's human pattern just enough to re-morph as human for a very short period."

Kagami asked; "Short period – like long enough to throw you in back of a cab?"

Konata snorted; "Man, that's gonna be some fare if the cabbie stays in the car!"

"Really, Konata!"

"Just thinkin'! So you mean, you'll be able to be Miyuki again?"

"Only for a very short while and likely only partially so."

"But passable, right?" asked Kagami to a nodding head.

Konata was starry-eyed; "Awesome! Man, this is one henshin I can't miss! From bug to babe! But where are we gonna find any star rocks??"

They all sighed with dismay.

"Wait! I know where!" Tsukasa cried, falling abashed at their startled looks. "Pebbles from Heaven!"

Konata blinked. "Pebbles from Heaven?"

Brightening, Kagami snapped her fingers. "But of course! Pebbles from Heaven!"

"Er, clue me in, Kagamin?"

"See, often meteorites are kept as sacred objects and charms in shrines! There's bound to be a few shrines along our way back home!"

Konata balked, "Wait! You mean we might have to hike and hitch and shrine hop back home 'tween switching him – er, her, er – it – whatever, back and forth like this all the way??"

"It's called 'love', Kona-chan!" Kagami chided with a smirk. "We'll have to call our parents and tell them that we're okay and that we won't be home for a few days so they don't send out anyone to search for us."

"But what do we say??" Tsukasa asked and the two others shrugged.

"I guess we'll have to dream up one on the way to shore," Kagami said, facing Boy-Miyuki. "We promise you, Yuki-chan, we'll get you home and take your secret to the grave! Right, Tsukasa?"

"Right on, Onee-chan!"

"Right, Konata?"

"Uhh..."

"Konata!!"

"Just thinking 'bout movie rights! Alright, alright, I won't say a thing...except how can you morph to twice Yuki-chan's size and just how many Mantisoids are here and just how savage are your instincts and just why are you all REALLY here and–"

"Don't answer manga-mind, Miyuki! Save your strength and cut the holo show! We'll get you home safe!!" Kagami said and Boy-Miyuki bowed and blurred out and the girls hurriedly rolled the Mantisoid on the raft and pushed and shoved it off and cambered aboard with the oars and sat astride the Mantisoid like on a sleeping horse.

Konata shook her head. "Man, sure hope no one catches sight of us before we reach shore! Three buck-naked chicks saddled an overgrown lobster-bug that's really a guy one passin' for a moe princess! Sheesh! This is getting more confusing than Macross!"

- - -