Their only monument the asphalt road And a thousand lost golf balls. - T. S. Elliot
"Oh yeah! Go Teal'c! I reckon that was your best shot in about an hour!" Jack cried as Teal'c hit his golf ball through the open 'gate.
Earlier, on Alaris, a force of Jaffa are gathering. They bear the mark of a little know Goa'uld, Ma'at. A single ostrich feather tattooed into their foreheads.
"Jaffa! The time has come to make these lowly Tauri bow to the Law of Ma'at. Will you fight for your God?"
Ma'at stands at the head of her Jaffa army and smiles as they cheer. Suddenly the 'Gate opens behind her. Only the fast reaction of her First prime saves her from being engulfed as the wormhole opens.
"What is this? Who dares try to come here? Jaffa! Kill anyone who steps through the Gate of Osiris!"
Then without warning a small, white ball shoots through the 'gate at extreme velocity and strikes the First prime of Ma'at squarely between the eyes. He immediately falls unconscious. The Jaffa fall silent. What is this strange weapon that Tauri have deployed against their God?
"Well don't just stand there! Do something!"
More of the white balls shot through the 'gate. Jaffa fall left, right and center. Struck by these little balls of destruction. The Jaffa of Ma'at looked at their God. Was she serious? How could they fight such things? As another ball shot through the 'gate they gazed at their God in horror. Some few Jaffa gather their shattered courage and face the 'gate again but are quickly dispatched by the terrifying barrage of white balls that continued to emerge from the 'gate.
"My Lady! We cannot fight this! Please come away from the Gate of Osiris until this evil has ceased. We can launch the attack as soon as they stop."
As the Jaffa spoke the 'gate shut down and an eerie silence fell over the Jaffa still standing.
"Jaffa! Dial quickly! We must stop these godless rebels!"
One of the Jaffa cautiously approached the 'gate. Wary of flying balls he began to dial. Just before he completed the process a new wormhole established and the white balls began to fly again knocking him straight into unconsciousness. The other Jaffa stood in shock as a ball shot from the 'gate and flew straight and true towards Ma'at. The ball made contact with her forehead and she slumped to the ground. The wormhole disconnected and once again the Jaffa stood in shocked silence. There were only 3 of 300 left standing.
On Earth
"Colonel O'Neill, what the hell are you doing?"
"In the middle of my backswing!"
And that, folks, is why you should always be wary of lost golf balls!
THE END