MOMENTS

"As I feel myself fall, make a
joke of it all." –one direction

spring

We were in a field near our houses; I was picking wildflowers while Zach watched, lying spread eagled on the picnic blanket that we'd bought along. A basked sat next to him, overladen with sandwiches, fruits and drinks. Zach chuckled at me as I tripped over my own feet trying to grab onto a particularly eye catching purple orchid.

"Shut up," I laughed, plucking the flower from its roots. Content with the bunch I had in my hand, I walked back over to where Zach had sat up, staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

I returned it and started giggling when he pulled the silliest of faces. He pulled me to him, my back against his chest, watching the warm breeze blow bits of dandelion away. He plucked one of the flowers from the bouquet in my hand and placed in the crook of my ear.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, his warm breath fanning my neck. I turned to look at him, and the first thing I noticed was the sparkle in those magnificent blue-grey eyes of his.

Blushing, I looked back down, feeling vulnerable at the intensity of his gaze. He lifted my chin up so I stared right at him before pressing his lips to mine gently.

summer

I was surrounded by noise. Firstly, there was the chattering of the carefree beachgoers around me, their laughter mimicking the crash of the waves and the chirps of the seagulls. Adding to that was the sound of cutlery clinking against plates as we passed the busy cafés along the side of the road, the retail stores practically spilling with people trying to get their hands on last season's sales. And finally, the noise of the cars and buses on the roads zooming down the street, honking at every turn.

Some people would hate all this noise.

I absolutely loved it.

I clenched my hand tighter in Zach's as we took in the scenery; the lovely tanned people, the children brandishing ice creams, the dogs yapping at small discarded bits of food on the concrete pavement while their owners struggled to pull them ahead.

"Did you want ice cream?" Zach asked me as we passed several stands. I nodded and we headed into a gelatissimo, admiring the portraits of Italian landscapes on the wall. He bought the ice cream, paying before handing my cone to me. "Let's eat this outside," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist and guiding me to a bench placed on the top of the cliff.

We sat down, both enjoying the ice cream before Zach turned to me, "This is probably the best summer I've ever experienced. I love you, Cam."

A blush crept up my cheeks as I returned his piercing gaze, our faces moving closer to each other. A wicked grin crossed my face as an idea sprung to my head and I pushed my ice cream against his mouth, laughing as his expression changed to that of shock.

"What was that for?" he asked, spluttering. He looked pissed off, to be honest but his face brightened when he noticed me cracking up on the bench. "I'll get you back for that!" he exclaimed, brandishing his ice cream like a weapon towards my face.

I squealed, running away from him, but not before he caught me around the waist. His ice cream had disappeared somewhere on the grass behind him, lying forgotten as he pulled me in.

"I really am the luckiest guy on earth," he whispered, curling a lock of my hair around his fingers. Using that, he pulled me closer and pressed an urgent kiss against my lips.

I felt like I was living a fairy tale.

autumn

"Cammie! I don't think this is right!" Zach yelled down the hall. I rushed towards the kitchen, curious as to what he could be doing.

When I reached the doorway, I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Zach was standing there, sporting a colourfully pink apron while holding a spatula in one hand. Every inch of him was covered in flour or eggshells or some other substance that I couldn't decipher.

"Shut up," he mumbled, brushing a bright pink. He turned back down to the recipe book, studying it for a while before looking over to the mess he'd made on the counter.

"What are you trying to make?" I laughed, walking over and wrapping my arms around his waist, leaning against his back.

"A cake," he said softly. "I wanted to do something special but not too extravagant for our one year anniversary," he said, giving me a dimpled smile.

I pretty much melted inside.

Speechless, I turned him to face me. "You seriously did this for me? For us?"

"Yeah," he said, biting his lip. I pulled his face down to press a soft kiss against his lips before turning away and studying the batter.

"Well, this seems to be irreversible, so help me clear this up so we can start again," I laughed. He still looked surprised by my sudden kiss but happy nonetheless.

winter

I gazed in horror as I stood in the ER, watching the nurses wheel the gurney down towards the operation room. I tried to follow them, tried to grab onto one of the doctors, tried to demand their attention, but nothing worked. They ignored me. I watched the lifeless form of my boyfriend rush past me, looking stark white against the sheets. They were covered in blood.

I clasped a hand against my mouth as I tried to follow them into the room beyond those double doors; desperately clinging on to the metal brackets of the bed as they pulled him away from me.

My soul mate.

I couldn't lose him. I slid down the wall until I hit the ground, fresh tears replacing the ones that had already made tracks on my cheeks. A few people passing by shot me sympathetic glances, tried to talk to me, but I didn't want their pity. I didn't want their comforting words, their silk-laden voices trying to convince me that everything was alright.

Because it wasn't. Nothing was. I knew he wasn't going to make. No one could survive a crash like that. Even a miracle would be too late right now.

I sat there for hours, trying to mentally prepare myself for the two words that would come out from the doctor's words. The two words that I could feel coming.

I could hear the machines whirring in the next room. I didn't know how I heard them, but I just did. I heard the sound of electricity building up, the sizzle as it ran through the cords of the defibrillator, the shock it sent as it hit human flesh. The quick beeping turning into a long, droning noise. The doctor staring at the clock and calling time. The scene played in my head as if it were real.

And it was.

When the doctor, looking exhausted, came out of the double doors, he had a saddened expression his face. I looked up at him, ready for the words.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head.

And that was that. My whole body numbed, the whole world shook as I thanked the doctor, getting up from the floor, rushing past the people sitting in the waiting room, outside. I breathed in the chilly winter air, my breath creating mist in the air.

I rushed towards the road, the horns beeping as I made my way across carelessly. I didn't have a care in the world right now. Headlights flashed, car tyres screeched, the slamming of metal against metal reached my ears, and yet it didn't affect me. The profanities coming out of the drivers' mouths, all just a buzzing noise to me.

I reached the side of the bridge, my destination. Gazing down at the cold, murky waters below, I felt everything go numb. It would be so much better down there, where the cool water could embrace my skin, pulling me down into the depths of the sea.

I whipped off my scarf and tied it against a post. The drivers had evidently noticed me now, but it was too late. They were yelling at me to stop, but I didn't. Just gave them a small smile and fell backwards into the water. The last thing I felt was Zach's lips on mine.

And everything went black.

"You know I'll be your life, your voice,
your reason to be, my love, my heart, is breathing for this
moment in time, I'll find the words to say
before you leave me today."

::

Fin.