"Roxas, I'm sorry. I love you, you know I do, but... just... not in the same way anymore. I think it'd be better if we were just friends, okay?"
I turned my head up from against my knees and looked towards the clouds. It'd been a week since Xion broke things off with me, and I hadn't talked to her ever since. I'd been a mess. Or, in Axel's words, I was a zombie. The slight shadows under my eyes proved his point.
I hadn't seen Axel since before I broke up with her, either. I was in it alone.
Lately, I'd been sitting on top of the clock tower alone eating sea salt ice cream. Everyday. It was probably an unhealthy habit, but in that week, I'd been like a girl on her period. Just a lot weepier and eating a lot less substantial food. Ice cream just never got old to me, though. Even when I was just a bundle of raging emotions, I still had a taste for it.
Soon, I was left with a bare ice cream stick. I frowned slightly; I'd been thinking so hard that I didn't really even taste it.
My hand tangled in my hair and I closed my eyes with an exasperated sigh. I tossed the stick behind me disinterestedly. What now?
"You shouldn't litter, Roxy." I heard behind me, the familiar voice making me sit up and whip around. The first smile to show on my face all week stretched across my face and my entire demeanor changed.
"Axel? Hey, wait. I thought I told you not to call me that." I answered, then remembered my annoyance with the nickname he refused to stop calling me.
"Your point? It's already stuck, I can't just stop calling you Roxy." he grinned at me and sat on the edge of the tower next to me with two sticks of ice cream, one of which I took. "I seriously don't get how you haven't gotten sick of this stuff yet." he added, biting off the edge of his. I just shrugged with a slight grin of my own.
"I heard about you and Xion. How're you holding up?" he asked in a more serious tone. I visibly deflated at the mention of her name.
"Okay, I guess. Haven't seen her in a week, which is probably a good thing." I muttered, turning away from him and looking towards the clouds again. I knew I'd have to face her sooner or later, but I had a tendency to procrastinate. A lot.
"What, you aren't going to try and stay friends with her?" he furrowed his eyebrows at me.
"No, I will. I just need a break." I sighed. "And where the hell were you when all this happened?" I grumbled, turning to glare at him.
"Hey, hey! It gets boring being a third wheel all the time. I didn't think you guys would be done sucking face so soon." he said, swinging his legs slightly.
"We never left you out of anything, Axel. You weren't a third wheel." I muttered, looking down at the city below.
"Whatever. I just miss the days when we were all just friends. Of course, I was never satisfied with the two of us just being that much, bu-" he cut himself off and paled, as if he'd said something wrong. I replayed his last broken sentence in my head and felt my eyes widen when I understood what he was saying.
"Wait, you..." I started, pointing a finger at him and then letting it drop. Well, that was a shocker. I never would've guessed he thought of me that way. But I guess I am sort of oblivious when it comes to that sort of thing.
"Never mind. Forget I said it." he said quietly, shocking me. He was never quiet. Axel was the fiery, loud, obnoxious one. He wasn't the type to clam up.
"You honestly think I can just forget you said that?" I asked, and he actually winced slightly. "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"
"Because. I knew you didn't feel the same way. I knew you probably wouldn't want to be friends if you knew how I felt." he muttered, looking obviously uncomfortable.
"...Idiot." I whispered, crossing my arms and looking straight ahead again.
"What?" he asked, immediately phasing back into his slightly too-loud voice. That was good.
"I said you're an idiot!" I hissed, looking over at him with burning cheeks. In all honesty, I'd always liked Axel 'that way'. Even when we first met, I knew there was something special about him. He made me feel... like I had a heart.(1) He made me happy. I'd covered my feelings, as he'd seemed like he always just wanted to stay friends. I forced down my feelings for him, tried to distract myself from them. And to hear that he felt the same way and had hidden it for so long... It pissed me off, no matter how hypocritical it was.
"Why am I an idiot?" he asked, looking honestly confused.
"What, you still don't get it?" I grumbled, holding my cold gaze. "Why would you hide that for so long? Why didn't you tell me? You could've kept me from going through a lot of crap if you'd just told me!" I cried angrily, feeling tears in my eyes. No way was I going to cry. Why were my eyes watering when it wasn't even something worth crying over? It just frustrated me more.
"What are you saying, Roxy?" he asked, a small smile pulling at his lips.
"I'm saying that I love you!" I said finally, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. So much time holding those words down, and now they'd finally left my lips. It was... liberating. "I love you, and I have for a long, long time. I loved Xion, but never like I love you. I tried to fall in love with her, but it was only because I wanted to quit thinking about you that way." I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, feeling warm tears roll down my cheeks before I opened them again. Great, now I was crying in front of him, too.
"Roxas..." he trailed off, using my real name for once. He stared at me a moment, then wiped away the tears on my cheeks. "Why're you crying? You should be happy. I know I am." he grinned widely at me, proving it. He was right, I should've been happy. I was thinking of how I'd felt before, sure he'd reject me if I told him. But, thinking about it, he didn't reject me. He was sitting there, right in front of me, telling me that he accepted my feelings for him and also felt them for me.
"Okay." I responded, rubbing at my eyes. I blinked a few times at him, a small smile creeping onto my face at the look he was giving me. He'd always had this goofy smile that was extremely contagious.
"Hey, you actually listened to me for once!" Axel said happily, looking at the sky and jutting a fist into the air.
"Shut up." I responded jokingly, pulling his face down with both hands and pressing my lips to his, simply because I could now.
"I love you too, Roxy." he said once we stopped for breath.
"I said don't call me that!"