Title: At Death's Hands
Pairing: Natsu x Lucy
Rating: T for angst, drama and (near-ish) character death.
Summary: Lucy is severely injured during a mission gone awry. While lying in coma, she makes a challenging decision, and a certain member of Team Natsu discovers his genuine feelings towards the dying mage. "Make your choice, Lucy …," he whispered. "Live without magic, or die without sins." NaLu.
My take on the typical "Lucy-gets-hurt-on-mission-and-comes-back-to-life, " narratives.
Disclaimer: Don't own Fairy Tail. Copyright of the following quote belongs to Kids' Health. They're great. Don't sue me.
XXXXX
{Many people believe that when someone dies only the body dies. It is just as if a glass bottle full of water broke, and the bottle became useless. The container is gone, but what's inside — the water — remains. The part of a person that's left after the body dies is often called the "soul" or "spirit." Some people believe the soul is the part of a human that loves, feels, and creates; it's the part that make us who we are.
No one really knows what happens to a person's soul after death. You can decide what you believe.}
~KH
XXXXX
This wasn't supposed to happen.
None of it was.
It started out as an easy, standard mission, with a badass who Natsu could easy dispatch and defeat.
Erza and Gray were occupied fighting the bandit's overwhelming amount of cronies, though they were no match for the scarlet-haired mage's dancing swords that sent her enemies to a spiraling doom, and the dark-haired male's striking attacks built purely from crystallized ice, colliding with his opponents with practiced precision, exploding in a flurry of beautiful (yet dangerous) snowflakes.
The Dragon Slayer was engaged in a battle with the commander of the idiot thug brigade, and was easily whooping his sorry excuse for an ass.
Lucy (battered but not beaten) was protecting the children; her Celestial spirits, Loke and Taurus surrounded the cluster of kids and guarded them against the three crooks that were attempting to re-capture (after they caught them stealing it the first time) the old, leather-bound book a small girl, with azure-coloured locks, held in her fist.
No big deal, right? An effortless feat for Fairy Tail mages, right?
Wrong.
It should have been straightforward.
Erza (since Natsu wouldn't have noticed or even thought of the possibility for even a fleeting second) should've known that the head of the illegal assemblage would have something up his sleeve when he cackled at the sight of Lucy. He had the fucking spell book, for Mavis' sake!
Because then the trodden leader tried to escape.
Natsu made a mistake, thinking that the stupid bastard was unconscious.
Turned out to be a grave blunder in his part, something he realized a smidge too late, because the man scrambled to his feet and yelled out a spell, hands pointed towards the petite girl, whose eyes were wide and trembling with fear as a dark tentacle shot its way to her, completely missing the apparitions of the skirmishing spirits, their reactions delayed as they turned to their master.
Natsu, frozen and rooted on his spot, could only watch with horror as Lucy moved to block the attack.
The world seemed to move in slow motion, his ears ringing as he shouted her name, rushing towards the descending blonde.
Loke and Taurus disappeared in a burst of golden sparkles.
Her arms were spread out like wings, and she fell gracefully, chocolate orbs dimming as she closed her eyes and mouthed his name silently.
He caught her in his arms.
It pierced her heart.
He shook her, begging her for a response, a twitch, a slight shudder, anything.
But alas, her eyes didn't flicker, her hands laid limply at her sides, her body fragile and still.
And she wasn't breathing.
She wasn't fucking breathing.
The Dragon Slayer's roars echoed through the village, full of anguish and sorrow, bringing a sense of agony to all those who heard it.
The Re-quip and Ice-Make mages shocked beyond belief, immobilized immediately upon hearing their comrade's distress, eyes trained on the fallen female in the pink-haired man's arms.
He cradled her, brushing a stray blonde curl from her cheek.
"Don't. Even. Fucking. Think. About it," he growled darkly.
The bandits froze.
Anger and rage coursed through the Dragon Slayer's veins.
He laid the unconscious—because that's what she was; he refused to believe anything else—Celestial mage on the ground gently, before swinging his attention to the cause of her condition.
The contingent "kyaa" –ed and cowered beneath the furious glare of the livid male.
"Natsu—" Erza reached a hand out consolingly, but fell back when she noticed the tremulous that shook his muscular frame.
He needed the release, and she understood, reluctantly giving her acceptance.
The chief of the bandit group was already long gone, had fled as soon as he blasted his magic, but Erza doubted he would get even a hundred metres from the area before the enraged Dragon Slayer tracked him down and gave him the beating of a lifetime for touching what was rightfully his.
As Natsu left to deal with the sumbags, Gray and Erza whisked Lucy back to the guild, arriving in a heartbeat, even in their state of panic and distraught.
Imagine the Fairy Tail's reaction when they saw their favourite Celestial mage, broken and injured in the Ice wizard's arms.
Even Juvia was crying, overlooking the fact that her "beloved Gray-sama" was holding her in a bridle-style embrace.
Cries of "Lucy!" was heard as Makarov called for Porlyusica at once, who arrived without delay, and ordered Gray to follow her back to her home in the East Forest, where she instructed him to set her down in the makeshift bed.
The healer commanded him to leave and give her space as she began to examine the blonde.
When Natsu finally returned not long after, holding an almost-burned-beyond-recognition figure tied together with thick ropes and was stark naked, Erza bleated realized it was the male who had kil—hurt (she couldn't. She just … couldn't) Lucy.
The pink-haired Salamander immediately demanded to see his partner, in which Makarov denied in a calm voice.
As expected, the Dragon Slayer exploded and began ranting and smashing furniture as he raged, in which the Master merely watched with an unfathomable look in his eyes.
Eventually, when Natsu calmed down enough to speak rationally, he began to pace, muttering inaudibly under his breath, onyx orbs darting towards the entrance of the guild every five seconds.
The building was quiet, lacking of the usual disruptiveness of the members (meaning Natsu and Gray), and was instead the air crackled with tension as sobs and whimpers occasionally broke the silence.
Happy slumped against the table he'd been sitting on with a crying Wendy, not even bothering to glance at the fish that was lying enticingly next to him in a bowl. He was absent during the mission due to his acceptance to joining a job with the Sky Dragon Slayer and his secret crush, Carla.
Natsu halted when, at last, the doors to the guild creaked open, and all eyes zeroed in on the tall figure that stood solemnly at the front.
"Combined with the wounds she received before this assault, she is rigorously damaged. The spell she was attacked by is one of the ancient magicks of the Dark Arts, created specifically for Celestial spirit summoners, and judging by the keys she had attached to her waist, I assume she was?" They nodded at Porlyusica's enquiring gaze.
"The spell is designed to seal every Zodiac spirit she owns into the spirit world," she continued, "and therefore sealing her own magic."
Natsu inhaled sharply.
"The risk of pursuing the profession of a mage is that the very magic you wield becomes your life source. Her life is slowly draining from her with every passing moment as we speak. I cannot heal her. There are no known antidotes or reverse spells for this curse. I will continue to try and find a solution … but there are no guarantees. My efforts will most likely be futile, but I will attempt," with those final words, the crimson-eyed healer strode out.
The Fire Dragon Slayer's almost animalistic howl of pain and misery drowned the shocked and appalled gasps from his guild mates, shaking the structure to its very foundation.
In a flash, he was no longer positioned in front of them; the area where he previously stood was burned and scorched.
Makarov could, without doubt, deduct where the pink-haired male was headed, and his enlarged fist stopped the rest of the association from following him.
"Give him some time alone," he said quietly before retreating to his study.
Almost involuntarily, Erza choked down a sob that threatened to escape her, gripping her sword so tight that her knuckles began to whiten.
The Ice-Make mage paled and trembled where he was situated, unable to take in what had just been declared.
There was a stressed silence before—
"Yada! Doushite Lu-chan?!" cried Levy, causing Wendy to burst into tears, Cana to fling her barrel of alcohol across the room in fury, Gajeel to look down regretfully, and the remaining rational members mourning mutely or seeking solace in others, and the ones blinded with grief began demonstrating their uncontrollable anger and desolation at losing a teammate by breaking inanimate objects (entailing a furious Gray and distraught Erza—something none of the guild has ever encountered before, but consented to her behaviour because it was something they all wanted to do).
The Iron Dragon Slayer moved towards the hysterical bluenette and patted her on the back somewhat awkwardly. She leaned against his comforting figure and closed her eyes miserably as his arm wrapped around her waist.
Predictably, no one commented on the gesture, either too troubled or too distracted by the heartbreaking news.
XXXXX
Don't you see, Lucy? If you're happy, we're happy. It's the same thing when you're hurt. We're a family, and on nakama's pain is another. Return to us, Makarov prayed, feeling pity for his children and misery for their dearly-loved Celestial mage (some more than others), watching as Fairy Tail began to fall apart.
A death was rare in magical guilds, but it did happen.
However, the toll against the living affiliates was harsh, and pain lingered, always nagging at them from the back of their mind, the ache never really fades.
XXXXX
The ground was soft where she lay.
Lucy's irises gradually adjusted to the bright scenery.
She rose to her feet as she surveyed her surroundings.
Lush trees stood tall behind her, swaying in the light breeze that ruffled her blonde tresses. The grass was emerald green and fertile as different species of flowers bloomed across the plains.
She could see mountains in the distance, and the sky was a vibrant blue, occasional wisps of condensed water formed small clouds that drifted through the atmosphere.
It was peaceful, breathtaking, and beautiful.
Lucy peered into the lake that dipped from the edge of the land, eyes widening at the sight.
Red. Red everywhere …
It was a mirror image of this place, but the crimson colour gave it a more hostile and aggressive aura.
"Lucy Heartfilia."
She whirled around, tensed and alert as she crouched in defence.
The figure was cloaked in darkness, raven-black wings curved from its shoulder blades, face concealed with shadows, holding a scythe.
"I am Death," it spoke, voice flat and monotone.
Lucy slowly straightened.
"As to the customary afterlife guidelines, your heart will be weighed and your place will be decided as per to the evaluation of your life as a human."
A scale appeared next to it, polished and perfectly balanced. Several engravings were carved into the sides, which the blonde distinguished as the primordial Runes of Creation.
From the depths of its shroud, the Reaper revealed what she presumed to be her heart.
It wasn't the literal thing, like she'd expected. Instead, it was a feather. A golden feather, and oddly enough, it was streaked with a bright red, almost like fire.
A representation, she assumed.
She unconsciously held her breath and waited patiently as the Shinigami placed the quill on one scale …
XXXXX
"I'm sorry, Luce," Natsu caressed her cheek, burning with shame and despondency.
Her usually vibrant hair was dull and stringy, darkening to a dirty-blonde, her expression was serene despite the amount of bruises and cuts she'd obtained from both the stupid spell (more so from that, actually) and from previous confrontations before she was … defeated.
Her creamy complexion was marred by the sheer number of injuries that had to be wrapped in gauze and bandages, including one around her forehead.
She looked graceful and elegant, even in coma.
But fucking shit, it wasn't supposed to be like this!
Lucy was supposed to be laughing along with them as they returned together from the mission.
Lucy was supposed to blush and scold Gray when he somehow lost his clothes again while they rode back.
Lucy was supposed to comfort Natsu while he turned a sickening purple due to his motion sickness.
Lucy was supposed to be standing next to him right now—smiling her gorgeous smile that would take his breath away—, laughing and complaining about her rent money.
Lucy was supposed to be screaming and chiding Natsu and Happy for barging in her apartment again the next day.
Lucy was supposed to be with him.
How could she leave when he haven't even mustered up his courage and confessed to her yet?
Lucy was supposed to spend the rest of her life here, alive, together with Fairy Tail.
Because god dammit, he couldn't survive without her.
It was a common fact, something everyone knew.
She was his solitary confidant, and he was the shoulder she could lean on whenever she was sad or lonely.
Ever since meeting her in Hargeon, they'd become inseparable, the best of friends.
Something that could've been so much more.
What right did those fucking bastards have to take away his sun away from him?!
He was angry. Angry at those assholes who tried to take her away from him, but most of all, he was angry at his own incompetence. He was supposed to be Lucy's Dragon! He was supposed to save her, protect her from all potential danger!
"I'm sorry, Luce. Forgive me," The Dragon Slayer closed his eyes as a tear slid down his cheeks silently, filled with regret and sorrow.
XXXXX
Natsu was vaguely aware, a few hours later, of the voices that whispered in his sleeping presence.
"Poor Natsu," he recognized the slightly childish accent of his blue Exceed companion.
"Does he even realize his feelings for her?" this steady one was Erza's.
"Knowing the flame-brain, he probably doesn't know crap about mushy romance," Gray's was hoarse, and he could smell the salt of his dried tears.
"Lucy-san, Natsu-san …" mumbled almost indistinctly, it was definitely Wendy's.
"They would've been so happy together," murmured a sombre one. Mirajane, he thought hazily.
Wait … "could've"?!
Consciousness slipped into his mind as a gruff voice sighed, "Dragons only mate once in their life. Something like this can only break their sanity."
"Lu-chan …" a female voice sobbed. Levy.
"Shut up!" Natsu's head shot up from his position next to Lucy's divan.
The six turned to gap at the furious pink-haired male.
"Natsu—" the white-haired Take-Over mage wiped the droplets that had gathered in the edges of her eyes and tried to touch the Fire Dragon Slayer's shoulder in a (failed) attempt to placate him, but he snapped his glare at her.
"She's not dead," Natsu hissed, onyx eyes flashing.
They were taken aback by the vehemence in his voice.
"She's not dead!" he shouted at their apprehensive and skeptical looks.
"She just can't be," he whispered brokenly, dropping to his knees and pounding the floor with a flaming fist. "She's. Not. Dead!"
"Stop that, you idiot Slayer! Might I remind you that this is my home? I would greatly appreciate it if you don't destroy it like everything else you touch!" Porlyusica bustled in, glowering at Natsu, the ground beneath him cracking slightly.
The Dragon Slayer took a deep breath and calmed himself as his sudden burst of anger subsided.
"Sorry," he said quietly, rising to his feet and resuming his spot next to Lucy.
Seemingly deaf to their persuasion, Natsu ignored Mirajane, Happy and Levy when she struggled to convince him to take a break and return to the guild. Even Gray and Gajeel pitched in.
Finally, the composed scarlet-haired mage intervened with, "let him grieve in peace," before spinning on her heel and clanking out, eyes impassive, but tinged with melancholy.
"Don't do anything stupid, squinty-eyes," the Ice-Make wizard clapped him on the back lightly, his tone wavering faintly but joking.
Natsu welcomed his attempt at normalcy.
"I won't," he simply said.
They all trotted out, closing the door behind them, and the pink-haired male sighed, ashamed of the way he bristled against his nakama, but the way they said it made it sound like Lucy had no hope left.
There was always hope.
And Natsu would stay here, waiting for the Celestial mage to wake up, even if it took an eternity.
XXXXX
… The scales tipped to the left, completely sinking down to the end, nearly touching the meadow floor.
"Er …" Lucy shifted her feet anxiously.
The Reaper (she refrained from calling it "Death," because it wasn't what it really was. Death has no gender. It is merely a passing of judgement) seemed to contemplating something before it lifted its head and waved its robed arm, the object disappearing.
"You have a gentle spirit, Heartfilia," it said finally. "Despite your occasional annoyed attitude towards your friends due to their … odd behaviour and habits, you cherish them very much."
Lucy's orbs distanced. "I love Fairy Tail," she replied softly, "and my precious nakama."
It appeared to smile.
(But maybe it was just the trick of an eye, but she could've sworn she saw a twitch from its mouth from underneath the cloak.)
"Lucy Heartfilia," it boomed, "Death is not a choice for you to make. However, because of your extraordinarily compassionate heart, I will allow you to decide on one of the two possible roads: the first is the obvious; you will cross the River Styx"—the Reaper gestured towards the bridge behind it that connected this field to a distant area unknown to her eyes—"and join the afterlife, like you were originally expected to, or, you may remain in the World of the Living—"
Lucy parted her lips to speak, but he continued, "—as a ghost."
"W-what?" she said, stunned. As a ghost?
"The sprites are being especially kind today, Heartfilia," it said rather sharply. "So, which one will it be? Your time is running out."
"Will they be able to see me?" the blonde finally choked out.
The Shinigami paused, almost as if listening to a voice unspecified to her.
"Your friends will. You will remain as an apparition until you see fit. Your soul will always remain here, but your consciousness will pass through the barrier between the two worlds," it explained.
"I know this may be asking too much, after all the exceptions I've been privileged with, but I'd like to make one last request," Lucy hesitated, after deliberating her options carefully.
"We are listening."
Surprised but gratified, she asked, "May I be allowed to touch them physically?"
She fingered her shirt as the Reaper halted briefly, tilting its head slightly.
.
.
.
"Very well, if that is the path you wish to embark upon," it nodded after several beats of silence.
"It is," Lucy smiled.
The figure reached its arm out and she closed her eyes as she felt her essence being tugged back into the Upper World, but not before she swivelled around and said cheerfully, "Gomen, Mama, demo I can't join you just yet. I'm not finished there and I have a family with people I love and trust."
Then she was gone.
The Shinigami sighed ruefully, lifting a hand and taking off its hood to reveal long, blonde hair that fell to the waist.
"You have an intelligent daughter."
Layla Heartfilia laughed faintly, turning to the fairy that fluttered near her ear the entire time.
"I do. She's really grown," she agreed, watching with keen eyes as the water near her churned and an image of the former Celestial mage materialized.
"Thank you for this," she murmured, addressing the miniature nymph.
There was a flicker of light, and in the sprite's place was the exact copy image of the woman in front of it.
"It was a pleasure. She's quite lovely. I'll have to look out for her, but I doubt she'll have too much problems. After all, she's already dead," a deep, masculine voice replied, amusement evident in his tone.
"Oh, Death. You never fail to surprise me with your compassion," the blonde laughed lightly. She handed him his scythe and the black robe she donned faded in sparkles, and she was once again clad in a pair of casual jeans and t-shirt.
"Layla," a voice called in the distance.
She turned around to see Jude Heartfilia, waving from next to a willow tree, holding a basket.
"The same joys as being alive, hmm? Well, at least we won't get any fatter," Layla joked.
Death chuckled and retreated into the shadows slowly as he watched the blonde wave goodbye and hurried up the slope, laughing, to join her husband.
After all …
It wasn't not the initial time this kind of thing had happened. Mavis Vermillion was the first to be granted this request.
XXXXX
The first thing Lucy felt was warmth. Excruciatingly hot temperature that enveloped her entire being.
Her eyelids fluttered as she opened her eyes. After a moment, she realized that she was currently at Porlyusica's treehouse, outside of Magnolia.
The blonde looked around, scrutinizing the home, finding it a little too cluttered for her taste, before she turned her gaze to look at her sleeping partner, smiling at his relaxed features, comprehending belatedly that he had been clutching her motionless hand the entire time.
"Oi, flame-brain, I brought some—"
There was a piercing clatter and an astounded whisper of, "Lucy!"
She looked up, startled, to find herself wrapped in cool arms, a shocking contrast to the warmth of Natsu's heat.
"Gray," she sighed, hugging him back tightly.
"Gray, what's taking so long—?"
"Lucy!"
"Lucy-san!"
"Lu-chan!"
"Bunny girl."
Abruptly, the blonde felt herself being bombarded with squeezes as Levy, Wendy and even Erza joined the Ice-Make wizard (Lucy was thankful she'd been healed from all her injuries).
"G-guys, c-can't breathe," she choked, gasping when they finally released her, smiling sheepishly.
"Luuuccccyyy!" Happy wailed, flinging himself at her, sobbing into her chest.
"I'm sorry I worried you guys," she stroked the blubbering Exceed as he sniffled.
Lucy glanced to the side, noticing that Natsu was also awake and watching her with an unreadable emotion in his eyes.
"But there is something I need to tell you," she faltered, but seeing her nakama's encouraging (thought still tearful) looks, she took a deep breath and blurted, "you see, in exchange for returning here, I … had to give up all my magic."
Silence.
And then—
"Is that it, Lu-chan? You scared us for a moment there!" the blue-haired bookworm exclaimed.
"W-what?" the blonde stammered blankly.
"You will always be a Fairy Tail mage, Lucy," the Master appeared beside Gajeel. "We do not judge you based on your magical abilities, but on your heart."
"And you have the most empathetic heart ever!" Happy chimed it cheerfully, beaming.
(Dimly, Lucy wondered where the neko learned such an "advanced" (for him, anyways) word from. Not Natsu, that's for sure, she mused dryly. The Fire Dragon Slayer's vocabulary was even more limited than Happy's, mostly containing, "nakama," "friendship," "protect," etc.)
"Thank you!" she cried, throwing her arms around her friends, who were still gathered around her.
They all laughed and hugged her back before Porlyusica called out, annoyed, "the girl needs some rest. Nothing short of a miracle, it is, but she still needs sleep."
The guild shuffled their way out her room (with the exception of Happy and Natsu), but not before Cana burped and made her promise she would join her for a round of beer, saying it would "re-energize her body" (more like put her in a dazed slump), Erza demanded she take a break from taking any jobs for a few days (something she agreed to fairly easily—seeing as she had no magic and all, but the scarlet-haired mage assured her they would still be taking her along for the adventure. Lucy protested, saying she would only slow them down and be a burden, but she insisted, and the intimidating stare of the Titania was enough to convince her), Gray ruffled her locks, murmuring a pledge to visit her more often (Lucy wasn't quite sure how she felt about that, but the shiver down her spine due to a certain water mage's glare made her think that maybe she should keep away from the Ice wizard … at least until the red target of, "Love Rival" was off her back), Levy swore she would update the blonde on everything she'd missed out on (it'd been three days or so since the incident) Wendy promised to train her healing abilities (so the next time—not that there wasn't a possibility, albeit a slim one—something like this happened, the Sky Dragon Slayer would be prepared), and the remaining members merely grinned at her, but Lucy would feel the relief and happiness in their gazes.
Finally, the door swung shut, and the blonde turned towards the wide-awake Fire Dragon Slayer, who had sat by her bed the entire time, silent during the entire exchange.
"Natsu—"
Natsu, who had been watching her with dark intensity in his eyes, lunged in and embraced her tightly, chanting "sorry" over and over as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, positively ecstatic to have her back in his arms.
His voice muffled, he promised, "I vow on my life that I will protect you from all danger or otherwise, Lucy, and I will never let something like this happen ever again."
Said blonde smiled and brought his head up, cupping his cheeks as she murmured, "I know you will, my dragon," before kissing him softly.
Natsu returned the kiss fiercely, his tongue gliding against the seam of her lower lip. She parted her pink lips as he gained entrance, their tongues battling for dominance as Natsu felt his body burn with unfamiliar heat as fire pooled in his stomach—
"They liiiiiiiiike each other," came a smug snicker.
The two broke apart, panting as the Salamander rubbed his nape sheepishly, cheeks tinted with a light red hue.
Crap. They'd completely forgotten that Happy was still in the room.
The blue-furred Exceed cackled and flew off, assuring her that he would bring the best fish he could find for her the next time he came (Lucy didn't really want it, but hey, the adorable neko was practically glowing with glee, so she let it slide), intending to stay with Wendy and Carla (like he'd done the past few days) but they appreciated he was giving them the needed time space and time alone).
"Luce, I—" she pressed a finger against his lips, effectively stopping his upcoming words.
"I love you too, you stupid dragon," she whispered, kissing him chastely.
"Love you, Luce. I'm sorry it took me such a long time to realize," he said quietly.
"Stay with me tonight, Natsu?" She asked gently.
He nodded. She shifted to give him some space as he clambered onto the bed.
The Dragon Slayer slipped under the covers, nuzzling his cheek in the slender curve of her neck.
"Good night, Lucy," he sighed happily, already drifting off.
"'Night, Natsu," she whispered, closing her eyes and snuggling closer to the warmth that radiated from the pink-haired male, silently thanking her mother for her guidance before she, too, fell asleep.
XXXXX
"You're not going to tell them?"
"No. They'll figure it out eventually," she smiled repentantly, "and I don't want to ruin their happiness after everything they've just endured."
"Hmm."
"Thank you for letting me stay, despite my condition," Lucy said softly.
"You are and always will be a member of Fairy Tail, my child," Makarov chuckled, patting her on the head gently. "Even if you are dead."
fin.