This was just supposed to be a little one-shot for JustAStrangerPassingBy for being the 100th review for my story Falling For You, but instead the entire thing kinda ran away with me and it ended up spiralling to 35 pages and nearly 16,000 words, so it's being uploaded as a three-shot :)
JustAStrangerPassingBy i hope you enjoy what i did with your prompts, i loved them all, and everyone else, i hope you like it too :)
Yes, i know i'm about a month late with the date, but a good prompt is a good prompt, whether it's given a month past the actual date or not :L
Enjoy,
Over and out x
"No Sam, it's a d! Not a b!" Kurt threw the sheet of paper he was holding at his boyfriends head and watched as it half-heartedly wafted through the air and fell to the floor about a metre short of it's intended target.
Sam just laughed and swooped down to pick it up off the floor, carefully stacking it back into the pile he was holding in his hand, trying not to crumple the edges, because he knew how much Kurt hated that.
"I'm doing the best that I can! You always make this much too hard, if I'd asked Mrs. Kazowski she would have just given me a few pointers and then left me to my own devices again to fail in peace!"
Kurt rolled his eyes and grabbed the pile of papers off him, neatening the pile Sam had just tried to straighten up.
"Yes, and that is why I am tutoring you. Because our teacher is too busy gambling online or overusing EBay to care, and unlike her I actually want you to pass this subject! So start correcting!" Kurt laughed at the pained expression on Sam's face and knocked him on the head with the papers before he handed them back to him.
They were sat in his basement room, Sam sprawled out on his bed surrounded by English Literature textbooks and notes from his class (And Kurt's rather more substantial notes from his class) and he looked too adorable for Kurt to believe as he lay on his stomach and slumped his head in his hands.
He had started tutoring his boyfriend after he had seen his grades in the subject, because he didn't care if Sam thought a C- average was good, he was capable of getting much better and Kurt knew it. Sam had been marginally less enthusiastic, but some gentle persuasion (read: making out and the promise of the same in breaks in revision) had brought him around eventually.
"Okay, so you idea's weren't bad, it's just generally the composition and the spelling and grammar that are dragging it down. You have an excellent vocabulary, obviously improved by moi," Here Kurt gave him an impish grin as he strutted up and down the room, "And the sentence structure and use of description is very good. Really, if you weren't dyslexic you'd probably be pretty impressive at english."
Sam just laughed at him, reminding him that he was dyslexic, and there was nothing he could do about it. He would just have to painstakingly go through each page with a fine tooth comb and pick out the mistakes, something which he really didn't have time for. He especially didn't seem to have time for it when Kurt was there.
As the footballer went to put his thumb in his mouth, a dreadful habit of his if you asked Kurt, his hand was pulled away and replaces by a soft and yielding mouth, lips that parted as he breathed out and swept his tongue across them in a bid for entrance. He wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him to the bed, swinging his own legs off the side so that Kurt could straddle them.
Kurt gracefully slid onto Sam's knee and then attached his mouth more firmly to his as their tongues tangled, battling for dominance. His hands found their way up into the taller boy's bleached, no, lemoned, blond hair, caressing it as the strand ran through his fingers, feather light to his touch. The new conditioner recommendation had been a good idea. He started to wonder about whether his felt the same, one of Sam's hands tightly fisted in it, when his movement to feel Sam's hair better inadvertently brought their crotches closer together and he felt Sam's arousal, probably even more prominent that his own.
Sam moaned into the soprano's mouth and the gasp he got in return made his stomach turn with what felt like butterflies as they both pulled closer still.
Until he had the presence of mind to pull away completely and stagger off Sam's hips, sitting back down into his desk chair and trying to think about something else, something like Sue Sylvester naked.
"My parents are at home, you know we can't so anything. Urrgh, they are the biggest cock blockers ever, even by being in the same building..." He trailed off, closing his eyes to block out the image of Sam as he tried to regain control.
"We'd better get on with your English Sam, I promised Cara you'd be home by ten." He took another deep breath and stood up again, crouching to the floor to pick up a few stray sheets that had been knocked off the bed when they'd commandeered it for non-academic purposes.
Sam groaned and sat up straight again, sifting the bed-bound papers back into a pile and waiting for Kurt to gather the rest. When the brunette held his hand out for them he handed them over without a word, a large smirk on his face.
"So, what do you think of the actual idea?" He asked, chuckling as Kurt just pursed his lips and scanned the sheet in fro not him at lightning quick speed.
He pretended to look over a few more pages, keeping his ice cold mask on his face as he watched Sam from under his eyelashes, the blond jock's expression getting more and more worried with every passing second. He tutted, pursed his lips some more, and eventually looked up and met Sam's eyes.
"Hmmm... well, I'd think it was acceptable..." At the look on Sam's face, the crushed puppy pout that made his insides melt, he couldn't hold out any longer and laughed good naturedly, watching Sam's face morph from upset to annoyed to amused.
"How didn't I guess you were playing me? I really shouldn't doubt myself that much. Well, I should, but not when you're around to give me warped view on my work." Sam said with a grin, reaching for the papers back and being swatted away.
Kurt smirked and said "Uh uh uuuuh, I need to give you feedback first. Remember my 'warped view'?"
Imitating Kurt's eye roll as best he could, Sam relaxed back on the bed, leaning on his elbows, and waited for his boyfriend's assessment.
Kurt scanned the page for real, taking in Sam's ideas and pondering their implications.
"Okay, well... I really like your original idea, friends who switch personalities for the day, it seems intriguing. Will they be wearing each other's style of clothes?" He really did think it was good, he probably couldn't have topped Sam in the creativity stakes, although he would be a great equal.
"Yeah, complete swap. Names, classes, siblings, everything." Sam said, smiling hesitantly when Kurt seemed to approve of his idea.
Kurt looked up from the paper and smiled back, sitting down on the bed next to Sam and throwing an arm around his shoulders.
"I really do love the idea, but you have no back story. Why do they do it? Charity, a bet, what was their reasoning?"
Sam looked around Kurt's room frantically for inspiration and his gaze settled on the calendar he kept perched on the end of his desk. He looked at the week ahead's dates and came to a stop as he reached the Tuesday box.
"April Fools day."
Kurt stared at him like he had gone mad, and Sam just continued smiling and raised his eyebrows as the soprano's lack of understanding.
Sam repeated "April Fools Day. They do it as an April fool, silly."
That time Kurt did get the message and jumped up, clapping as he re read Sam's work and beaming a hundred watts. He knew just how to work that into the story and was feeling pleased with himself as he skipped around the room. He was stopped in his haphazard waltz as Sam grasped his arms, looking excitable.
"We should do it!" He said, his smile nearly blinding Kurt as his hands closed around Kurt's arms.
"Do what?" Kurt asked.
Sam just smiled at him and raised an eyebrow, seemingly waiting for something.
After a few more seconds it apparently hit him.
"No! No Sam, I'm not. I'm just not!"
"I can't believe you made me do this!" Kurt grumbled as they drove up to the parking lot at McKinley.
They had been 'out' at school for two months and at first it had been pretty bad. He had received more slushie facials and locker checks and dumpster tosses and name calling than ever before even with Sam and Finn and Mike and even Puck trying to help, because he had apparently 'converted' Sam, and Sam had been subjected to pretty much the same, minus the dumpster tossing and with added fighting, until one fight too many left Sam getting a broken arm put in plaster at the hospital and Kurt, Karofsky and Azimio arguing the toss in Figgins' office.
The look on Azimio's face when Karofsky had accidentally outed himself had been priceless and Kurt really wished someone had had the forethought to take a picture of it.
Surprisingly after the initial shock had worn off Azimio had been pretty decent about it and had absorbed it without saying much at all. When it had turned out that actually he didn't really have much of a problem with homosexuals at all, and was just following Karofsky's lead, a compromise had been reached.
Kurt would keep his mouth shut about Karofsky's sexuality and about how much Azimio knew (like he wasn't doing that already, after the death threat he had recieved?), Azimio wouldn't out Karofsky to anyone either, and both Azimio and Karofsky would knock the bullying on the head and never speak of their deal again.
He had no reason to be worried about being with his boyfriend and out and proud at school.
However, them swapping everything, clothes, classes, friends (although their friendship groups were practically the same anyway), houses, cars, names, everything, was bound to get them some unwanted attention.
Sam just looked over at Kurt and tried not to smirk at his obvious discomfort at the clothes he was having to wear.
They had clued their parents in as to what they were going to do and after Cara and Marc had rolled their eyes at him, Burt had laughed heartily (until Kurt had put on his best ice queen voice and told him he wouldn't cook fro him ever again unless he shut up) and Carole had smiled and hugged Kurt, their respective parents had agreed to keep their mouths shut about their plan, and to help in any way they could.
So they had started by switching houses the night before, which was easier for Kurt than Sam. Trying to explain to Finn why Sam was sleeping in Kurt's bed and wearing Kurt's clothes and driving Kurt's car (he hadn't been happy about that one) and generally answering to the name 'Kurt' would have been hard without ruining their scheme, and Finn would have told everyone. So Burt and Carole had worked together to get him to stay the night at Puck's.
They had gone shopping and bought clothes because there was no way Sam was going to squeeze into Kurt's skinny jeans and his own clothes would have drowned Kurt. These had been carefully stashed away in the other's house and Kurt was rather proud of his planning even if it hadn't actually been his idea in the first place.
So that morning Kurt had got up in Sam's house, in his geekified room, shuddered as he remembered that he couldn't do his morning skincare routine (he had had enough presence of mind to bring his essentials though, so a very abridged version took place) and then gone down, instead of up, to eat breakfast with Cara and Marc.
He had then gone back upstairs and dressed in the clothes he and Sam had decided on the night before. A plain white t-shirt with a purple hoodie over the top, zip half done up, and a pair of loose blue jeans. They were the most annoying thing about his outfit, Kurt decided. He was used to jeans so tight they moulded to his body and fitted snugly, but the ones Sam had said he should wear left room for everything to move and he just felt weird. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, he had just put on the last thing, a pair of purple converse, and kissed Cara goodbye on the cheek before leaving to pick Sam up from his own house.
Sam, on the other hand, had been woken up by Kurt's alarm at six am because he had been told, in no uncertain terms, that if he didn't do Kurt's normal skincare routine he wouldn't be entering into the body swap plan properly. Since it had been his idea in the first place he couldn't exactly back out, so he had wearily agreed to get up at Kurt's normal time and follow Kurt's written instructions about his routine. Kurt had also threatened to withhold kisses if he didn't, which may have been a factor.
After the confusion that had been, because the boy clearly didn't know what labels were as several of the bottles he had had their names written on them in the corners in such small print that Sam had to squint to read them, he thought getting dressed would be easier. Wrong.
The more he had stared at the outfit the more he wondered what he had been thinking allowing Kurt to buy it for him. He was supposed to go to school in black skinny jeans that he had hardly been able to get on in the shop, with knee high leather boots with buckles, a thin cotton t-shirt, cream with horizontal black stripes, and a cream blazer layered over the top. He also had to pull off Kurt's normal school bag, his messenger satchel thingy, and a scarf that he could have sworn his mom had been drooling over in some expensive boutique the week before. She was going to freak when he gave it to her.
When he had finally struggled into the outfit, marvelling at the amount of preparation and effort Kurt took to get everything right (he knew his boyfriend took a lot of time but still, putting on that outfit had to be one of the hardest things he'd ever done), he had walked up the stairs of Kurt's basement room to have a breakfast of yoghurt and berries with Burt and Carole, who denied him any cereal or protein, telling him that Kurt would never have eaten it.
After that all he had had to do was wait until Kurt has showed up in his car, because he didn't trust him to drive the Navigator.
After about ten minutes of waiting he had heard the engine he knew so well outside and run out the front door, yelling bye to Carole and But out of habit. Seeing Kurt at in the driver's seat of his car wearing his outfit and smirking self consciously had to have been one of the hottest things he had seen in a while.
So now they were sat in McKinley's parking lot and Kurt was waxing poetic about what they were going to do during the day.
"Seriously, we could have done anything, anything, but you have to go and make us swap lives for the day! We're going to have to have a proper plan for everything, because if I look like any more of an idiot than is inevitable I will be bringing down wrath on you that you didn't know I was capable of!"
Sam rolled his eyes (he was picking up Kurt's mannerisms all the time) and said "Okay, first tip of being Sam Evans, don't use big words like that. Sure, I'm not dumb, but don't sound like a dictionary, or thesaurus or whatever. Like, I love hoe you talk, but I think that's my job for the day. You get to be simple." He smiled bashfully and Kurt just blushed and shushed him.
"Your go. Tip one of being Kurt Hummel for the day."
Kurt looked over at his boyfriend and sighed. It was going to be a long day.
"You have to have an attitude. I mean, a serious attitude. We may be exempt from the bullying and slushies etcetera, but there is still a sizeable amount of people who like to mock my dress sense and my overall persona. Well, your dress sense and your overall persona for today. So be prepared for some whispers, but they don't normally happen when we're together."
Sam looked confused, saying "I thought everything was okay now?"
"Well, they don't seem quite so vocal when you're around. Fighting with the hardest guys in school, bar Puck, and then not being bothered by them any more, may be something to do with that." Kurt mused jokingly.
"So I've got to have what attitude?" Sam asked.
"One where you stick your nose in the air (NOT literally!) and ignore everything and everyone who disapproves of you. Don't look, don't acknowledge them and generally keep a smirk in place even when you can hear them. It makes them all upset because they think I haven't heard them."
Sam just nodded and took in the information. He had never actually realised that Kurt was still suffering from malicious whispers and was making himself a promise to try and catch whoever was doing it.
"Okay, so you're all set, that's pretty much the golden rule, everything else I think we covered in preparation. How about you? How do you want me to act?"
"I don't really know. Don't hold yourself up like you normally do. As much as I love it I think I kinda slouch a little bit more, and I walk with my hands in my pockets when I'm not holding hands with you." Catching sight of Kurt's face he saw the expression Kurt made when he saw or heard something cute and he smiled in response as a knee-jerk reaction.
Kurt nodded and said "Well, I think I know pretty much everything else, you ready to go?"
Sam just looked at him like he was crazy and got out of the car gracefully, shutting the door softly behind him and walking round it to the driver's side to greet Kurt as he got out.
"Impressive disembarking. You've been watching." Kurt laughed.
"Why thank you. And may I say your portrayal of myself as you exited the car was very impressive."
Kurt smiled and said "Looks like someone's been paying attention in out English tutoring sessions."
"I try. Anyway, I was trying to be you. Any good?" Sam asked.
Kurt laughed loudly and said "Pretty good. I think we may just make it trough the day."
Linking their hands together he led Sam through the maze of cars and they neared the building sooner than he thought they would. But isolation could only last so long.
Mercedes was the first one to see them.
"Kurt? What on earth are you wearing?" He confused voice cut through the air loudly.
Sam just waited for Kurt to turn, but after realising that he hadn't he looked towards him, becoming surprised by the glare he was getting and the elbow that jabbed his ribs. Oh yeah, he was Kurt now.
"Yes Mercedes. I think the more appropriate question is who on earth am I wearing. I'm sure you'll find it's Alexander McQueen." Sam said with the playful snootiness that he often heard Kurt infuse his voice with.
Mercedes just looked even more confused.
"Sam?"
Kurt then turned to face her and remembered to put his free hand in his pocket, saying "Hi Mercedes. Happy 1st April!" cheerfully.
After that it only took her a few seconds to figure what they had planned. She knew Kurt inside out and it wasn't hard for her to piece the puzzle together.
"Guys I'm totally walking in with you, I need to see the reactions. Half the school won't even know what's going on and I'm betting the half that does figure it out won't know why. Best April Fool ever!"
Sam chuckled as she said it and before long they were all laughing loudly, Kurt leaning on Sam for support. But Mercedes, being Mercedes, had to comment on their outfits before she let them carry on on their path of confusion.
"I need to let you know now, boo, that that outfit, while not suiting you at all, actually looks quite good. You're a total fashion god, who else could pull off so many different styles. But still, I can't help but laugh. And Barbie, for the sixtieth time you can't be Ken, you look freaking hilarious. Not that those clothes aren't gorgeous, and not that you don't look good in them, but please. I can't not laugh." She said while still recovering from her previous hysterics.
"Good to know." Sam smiled, taking Kurt's hand again as they made their way up the steps and towards the doors. Only to be stopped by Rachel.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Thanks Rach, nice to know you're happy with whatever way myself and Kurt like to dress." Considering that it was Kurt who said it she was coping pretty well.
"It's nothing like that I just - What?"
Okay, not that well.
"What did you say? Kurt, are you okay?" She looked confusedly between the two of them.
Sam answered, saying "I'm fine Rachel, why?"
She looked at him like he was insane and tried again, "Sam, I wasn't talking to you, I wanted to know why Kurt wasn't his usual, fabulous self." If she hadn't been saying it in such a kind way Kurt may well have strangled her, but he didn't think she was aiming to annoy. She just had no verbal filter and a knack for being frustrating,
"I am my usual, fabulous self. This blazer is Alexander McQueen and if you don't think he was fabulous then I'm not speaking to you ever again." Sam threatened, causing Rachel to look between them with bugged out eyes and then threw her hands in the air and storm off, muttering things about obnoxious footballers and sneaky fashion designers.
Hearing Mercedes laughing yet again behind them Kurt turned to her and glared. She simply shrugged and moved so she could link her arm through his on his left side. It was an unconventional position but this way they filled most of the corridor and people had to move out of their way, which gave rise to a sense of importance and superiority. It also made sure everyone who walked down that corridor had to see them as they walked in. So, maximum exposure for what Kurt decided he was calling the 'Switch Made In Heven'.
Homeroom was fun because they were in the same class, but had swapped seats, which was mildly confusing to some of the people there but really not that important. Sure, their clothes had drawn a lot of stares and whispers as they had powered down the hallway, but no one had said anything, apart from one cheerleader who had whispered rather loudly that 'Sam is so whipped. He's even letting Kurt dress him now." At least until she had seen Kurt, then she had just stared.
It was when Kurt had answered yes when the teacher called out "Samuel Evans." That most people sat up and took notice. He was playing the part perfectly, slouching a lit in his seat and glancing over at Sam a lot, as per what Sam had sheepishly admitted he normally spent most of homeroom doing.
The teacher hadn't noticed anything but the classroom erupted into a whispering mob and Sam just sat up straighter in his seat and smirked more pronouncedly, trying to copy Kurt's mannerisms as he took in the spectacular view of their plan starting to be set in motion.
Kurt had taken Sam's schedule and memorised it the night before, and knew that he was supposed to be heading towards Spanish with Mr. Sue. Having successfully opened Sam's locker and retrieved the books he needed he wandered towards the classroom, looking forward to the reaction of their glee coach when he turned up in the lesson and took Sam's seat and place in the class. He also had to pretend that he was only passable at Spanish, which he thought might be quite hard, but he was stopped from worrying about it when a breathless, excited voice spoke behind him.
"Sam? Sam, can we walk to Spanish together?"
He turned on instinct and found Tina smiling massively at him and holding up her Spanish binder as proof that she really was in the same class as Sam. He processed that she'd called him Sam and realised that there was no way 'Cedes could keep her mouth shut. Groaning inwardly he said "Sure Tina, I guess so."
As she fell into step beside him he caught her amused gaze out of the corner of his eye and nearly started laughing, but restrained himself at just the right moment. Instead he smiled and asked her, in a conversational tone, "Are you still going shopping with Kurt on Friday? He's really excited you know, he kept trying to get me to go with him because there's a sale on at Marc Jacobs or somewhere and he looked so adorable."
Kurt thought he'd done a good job imitating Sam's usual demeanour with Tina, and therefore the rest of his girl friends, and gave himself a mental pat on the back. He carried on a small conversation about Kurt's outfit choice for their shopping trip, trying to sound like he really wasn't sure about fashion, and then they reached the doorway and he took a deep breath and stepped inside.
He was pretty sure he knew where Sam's seat was, but he still looked at Tina for direction, who gave a small nod towards the seat one behind the one he had thought was Sam's. Well, at least that had saved him the embarrassment of being in someone else's seat. Well, he already was in someone else's seat, but he didn't think it counted when he was basically cloning that person anyway.
Kurt was halfway through pulling out a notebook and pen from the bag that Sam had given him when he remembered that as Sam he didn't need to make notes, because his boyfriend had confessed over the phone the night before that he didn't actually pay too much attention in lessons, only enough to get the main points but not enough to understand the finer details.
Sitting up straight again he clasped his hands on the desk and waited for Mr. Shue realising only moments before he walked in that he was in a very un-Sam-like position. Slouching further down he shoved his hands in his pockets, realising that in loose jeans it was actually quite possible for them to stay there without his fingers losing circulation. He let his non-producted (he didn't care that it wasn't a word, it wasn't english.) hair fall over his eye and sat patiently until Mr. Shue noticed him.
He didn't have to wait long.
When the class you teach had twenty five kids and the first name in the register was Maddie Duncan it is a little weird, but whatever. Roll with the punches.
Of course, that meant that Sam was the third person on the register.
"Sam Evans."
"Here." Kurt didn't disguise his voice, but didn't look up from the desk , still daydreaming about Sam. He had free time because Sam normally daydreamed, so why shouldn't he use it to think about his gorgeous, amazing, sexy, wonderful boyfriend?
"Kurt?"
He could hear the incredulity in Mr. Shue's voice and nearly ruined it all by laughing, but instead he just raised his head, looked Mr. Shue square in the eyes and said "No, it's Sam sir. You just called my name for the register."
The look he got back was worth the agony of not doing his proper skincare routine, and of having to drive Sam's old car to school, and of wearing weird loose jeans and of not being able to chill out with 'Cedes in biology. It was priceless, Mr. Shue doing a double and triple take and then just looking stunned. Kurt could practically hear the gears clicking away in his mind.
"Is there something wrong Mr. Schuster?" He asked politely, in such a way that Sam would have probably said it, he hoped, and one that also implied that the teacher was quite obviously going crazy.
After being stared at for a few more seconds he saw he turn back towards the board halfway as he said "No, nothing at all Sam." In a worried voice.
The incident hadn't gone unnoticed by the rest of the class and they were all swivelling in their chairs trying to get a better look at him. Most were whispering amongst themselves again, trying to make sense of the fact that Kurt Hummel was sitting in their classroom wearing clothes he would normally not wear unless he was spending the entire day in the house, taking up Sam's seat and answering to his name in the register.
As the whisperings grew louder he rolled his eyes, something that he knew Sam now did a lot (he must be rubbing off on him), and said "Guys, if I was Kurt why would I be sat in your class."
He could see that he had stumped him with that, as they had no explanation to hand that would negate his warped logic.
"Because Kurt has History with Mrs. Carpanzi first lesson on a Monday remember?" He smiled even wider and was then shocked when someone sitting a few rows over muttered something dryly.
"Of course we remember. It wasn't like he spent the entirety of the lesson asking people about him and then telling them he's in History, just so he could talk about him. The guy moons over him too much already."
Kurt had to put his hand over his mouth to hide his huge smile.
Concentrating slightly on Mr. Shue's lecture on how to properly conjugate verbs he watched clouds change shape out the window and decided: That day was going to be FUN!
Sam had tagged onto Mercedes pretty much as soon as Kurt had left to go to his Spanish class, and had linked his arm through hers and stated to sashay down the corridor the way Kurt did when he wanted Sam drooling.
This earned him a smirk from Mercedes but after she remained mute on the topic of his walk he figured it was passable as a Kurt walk and carried on chatting to her, trying to ignore the confusion and whispers. It brought back memories of before Karofsky and Azimio had stopped their bullying and it made his skin prickle a bit. But he smiled through it, remembering that it was on his terms that they were whispering this time. He just rolled his eyes and gave Mercedes his full attention.
"So, you were saying that you think movie night should be Thursday this week and not Friday? Why? Movie Night's always been a Friday." He asked, genuinely wondering what could make her switch the routine that she and Kurt normally ran like clockwork.
Mercedes just smiled and said "I think it has something to do with the surprise your boyfriend's concocting Kurt."
He took a moment to figure out what she meant and then nearly facepalmed as he realised she was giving him a hint.
"Because it is your two month anniversary after all. I hope he hasn't forgotten, you know what Sam's like." She laughed, noticing the startled expression on his face. Well damn, it was their anniversary and he'd forgotten all about it!
He was about to ask her what she thought he should do when he remembered that he was, in fact, Kurt, and therefore would probably have more than enough ideas. Groaning inwardly he moved the conversation back onto fashion as they neared the corridor that their (Kurt's) History classroom was on.
"If he has forgotten I'll take every one of his favourite superhero nerd t-shirts and shred them into tiny pieces. That'll teach him to forget our two month anniversary!"
He could feel Mercedes shaking beside him as they walked and she leant over to whisper in his ear "You sounded so much like him then it was scary."
"I aim to please." He said with a laugh, winking at her.
"Anyway, sometimes I just want to take him shopping 'Cedes, I mean, have you seen his wardrobe? Not that I mind when I'm taking it off him," At that Mercedes blushed ferociously and Sam just smirked, "But it really is hideous." Kurt had told him many times how awful his clothes were.
"Boo, I have to agree with you," She said, looking at Sam cheekily out the corner of her eye, "But that there is equally if not more horrific!"
Sam looked over to see a girl who he thought was a freshman sporting a luminous green t-shirt with a pleated orange skirt and little black shoes with buckles, not unlike the ones that Rachel Berry wore.
"That is a walking fashion disaster. That outfit needs burning, stat. I can't believe they even let her within three miles of our presence, it's burning my retinas." And with a roll of his eyes he strutted faster along the corridor past the offending outfit, glaring at the girl with obvious disdain as they passed.
As they reached the classroom Mercedes leaned over to tell him that Kurt's seat was the one next to her at the back of the room, not that he didn't know it already after practically stalking Kurt to his classes the first week or so after they started dating.
Walking in a few people noticed and openly stared or just looked at him confusedly as he took the seat next to Mercedes and pulled out a binder and notebook. God, Kurt actually took notes in class, he had only just realised that he was going to have to pay rigorous attention to whatever the woman at the front was saying.
Looking around he realised that most of the class was staring at him with undisguised confusion and amusement and he shifted in his chair and crossed his legs, forgetting a moment too late that he was wearing Kurt approved ridiculously tight jeans. It was quite possibly the most uncomfortable position he had ever been in, he felt as if someone had just created a vacuum inside the crotch area and it was slowly sucking all the air out. Uncrossing them gingerly he absentmindedly wondered how Kurt managed, then decided that as long as they kept his ass looking so perfect Sam wasn't going to be complaining any time soon. He'd just have to soldier through for a day.
"Kurt Hummel."
After a short silence a dig in the ribs from Mercedes made him realise that he was supposed to be answering.
"Uh... yes miss." He mumbled, noticing the heads that had swivelled his way as he answered and just raising an eyebrow at them as they smirked at him. It probably didn't have quite the same impact as Kurt's version did, but he'd mastered it sufficiently enough that no one said anything. At least, directly to his face.
Settling into his chair he found a note being shoved under his nose as Mercedes looked pointedly at the front of the room.
So, Boo, is it just me or does the hockey jock on the front row look like he needs a total hair overhaul?
He glanced up at the jock in question and had to cover his mouth with his hand to stifle a laugh at the obvious mullet that he was sporting. Mercedes was right, the guy seriously needed a makeover, even Sam knew that mullets were a complete disaster.
He stopped trying to scribble down that the teacher was saying for a second to write back to her, giggling as he thought of what the real Kurt would say if he could see they guy.
Something needs to be done like, now! I thought mullets were banned; we need to make them illegal!
He returned his gaze back to the front of the class just in time, as the teacher was looking down her nose at him and she didn't look happy.
"Mr... Hummel, care to show me what needs so much of your time and attention?"
Sam let out the breath he had been subconsciously holding, thankful that she had played along with their whole swap thing. But the next second he realised he was busted and his heart sank to the bottom of his shoes like a stone.
"Uh... Just making notes?" He said like it was a question.
She narrowed her eyes at him and flicked through some of the pages she held in her hand, before saying "Well in that case I'm sure you can tell the class what year President Kennedy's visit to the city of Berlin was when he made his famous 'Ich ein Berliner' speech?"
From the left hand side of the classroom he heard someone sniggering and then a high, clear voice said "God, Sam's so dumb that he sometimes believes Brittany about all the stupid things she says. He's got no chance."
Grinding his teeth in a way that his old dentist always used to yell at him for he looked up and into the teacher's eyes, smirking as he realised that he knew exactly what the answer was and he didn't even have to look at the hastily scribbled notes that he had made and now was struggling to decipher (How come Kurt's were always so neat and perfectly presented?).
"It was 1963 and I think you'll find it was 'Ich bin ein Berliner."
His teacher (he still couldn't remember her name) just stared at him, then shook her head and said "Right, of course, carry on."
The person on the other side of the room didn't sound so smug when they let out a shocked gasp. He turned around so he could face them and saw one of the Cheerios, Heather someone, her eyes wide as she took in his elated face.
"Miss Stratton, how nice of you to volunteer to answer the next question."
The cheerio spluttered and dropped her hand from her mouth before shooting death glares at him at their teacher wandered closer to her so that she could see her squirm.
"Hmm..." She considered the textbook sat on her desk and then looked up, a deadly spark visible in her eye, "Let me see."
The girl fidgeted and picked at a corner of the paper that was sat on her desk, obviously not there for her to make notes on.
"Okay Miss Stratton, the largest nuclear bomb to ever be tested had a fireball with a diameter of what exactly?"
The look the teacher gave her could have wilted flowers and shattered glass but the girl was too busy flicking through her partner's sheaf of papers frantically to notice. Lifting her head resignedly after about half a minute she said rather unsurely "Two miles?"
"Incorrect, the fireball of the Tsar Bomba was 8 kilometres in diameter and could have engulfed most of Lima."
Sam smirked even more smugly and couldn't resist saying quietly "I guess that makes you dumber than Brittany then."
Mercedes just whipped her head around and looked at him before cracking up completely and from the looks on other people's faces he guessed he hadn't been as quiet as he'd originally thought. However, as long as Mercedes' was laughing he supposed that he was doing a pretty passable job of being Kurt.
Sam made his way out of History on Mercedes' arm again, only to find Kurt waiting in Sam's own usual spot outside the room, leaning on the wall with one knee bent and a foot kicked up on it like he had seen Sam so a thousand times. His pause was momentary but he knew the smaller boy had seen it as Kurt pushed off the wall with a smile and reached up to wrap his arms around the taller boy's shoulders something he would normally let Sam do.
"Thought you'd never arrive." Kurt said as he stretched up to kiss Sam squarely on the lips, annoyed internally at the fact that even with his recent growth spurt he had to reach up to kiss his boyfriend. But it was what Sam normally did when he met him, so it fell to Kurt to take up the mantle on their April Fool day.
"Who, me? You know I had to finish my notes Sam, it just won't do to leave them half finished!" Sam smirked as he messed with the soprano, whose narrowed eyes showed that he didn't appreciate being messed with.
"God Kurt, I thought I was the closet nerd, not you?" He was having way too much fun teasing Sam.
"Closet? Sam, I think your nerdiness stopped fighting the white witch around the same time your sexuality did."
At that Kurt couldn't not laugh. Sam had just referred to himself with a Narnia metaphor at the same time as insulting himself and nailing Kurt's best bitchy manner.
"Excuse me? How did I out my nerdiness exactly?" Kurt played along.
Sam shrugged and started walking, remembering to swing his hips the way Kurt had told him was a must.
Talking behind himself as Kurt hurried to keep up, he said "You walked into school dressed in an Avatar shirt, said 'Oel ngati kameie' and proceeded to kiss me in front of half the school. Your nerdiness outing was only overshadowed by the fact you were shoving your tongue down another guy's throat."
Sam struggled to keep a straight face as he recounted the day he had given up pretending and just kissed Kurt. He saw the brunette having the same problem and that sent him over the edge, giggles soon blossoming into loud laughter that attracted the attention of the few people that were already staring at the pair.
Their hysterics were interrupted by a loud voice that rang down the corridor even over their laughter.
"Dude, please tell me there's a reason you're dressing like Hummel?"
Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck's blunt question and, straightening up, turned to the mohawked teen and smiled at him.
"Don't know what you mean Puck? Kurt didn't dress me at all. I know better than to let him get any where near me with those tight pants he insists on. They make his ass look good though." He winked at Sam as the taller teen blushed.
Sam couldn't help agreeing with Kurt pretending to be him as he tried to adjust said jeans and found them practically immovable.
At his comment Puck had finally looked at Kurt and done a double take that should have stayed in movies, his head flicking back and forth like a cartoon.
"Dude, why's he answering for you?"
Kurt just rolled his eyes and answered the question that Puck had obviously been aiming at Sam.
"Dude, why're you still talking to Kurt? I'm over here!"
Puck finally took in his outfit, and then looked back over at Sam, who was squirming slightly uncomfortably as he tugged on the belt loops of the skinnies and tried in vain to loosen them.
"What the actual hell?"
Well, they couldn't just stand by and watch as Puck became more and more confused, and when Mercedes arrives a second later, having been caught up talking to someone, all three of them had to grab each other as they laughed so hard Kurt thought his lungs would burst.
"Either we swallowed laughing gas or something about being you is too damn funny!" Sam said, out of breath.
"I knew there was something going on!" Puck said, pointing a finger at Sam's blazered chest and walking towards them.
Mercedes took one look and dragged them all into an empty classroom, right beside Puck.
"Hey Aretha, what are you doing, manhandling the Puckster?" Puck grumbled as he rubbed his forearm and frowned at her.
"Well, you were about to wreck their plan. I couldn't let you ruin the best fun I've had all year just because of your big mouth!"
Puck smirked, "I think you'll find it's, uh, Kurt who has the big mouth."
Sam lunged at him and Kurt had to hold him back, which just made Puck laugh harder.
Rolling his eyes Kurt said "One, I happen to like his lips, thank you very much, don't deny you secretly want him too (Puck just laughed) and two, we've got a little April fool's going on, so shut up and don't ruin it."
"I think they're gonna guess Kurt, I mean, you don't actually look like each other."
"Yeah, that's not really the point. We just want to see the confusion and weird looks." Sam chuckled.
Puck actually considered that for a moment then smiled as he shook his head at the two of them.
"Dude, you two are weird. But hey, provides me with amusement, so I'm all for it. One question?"
"Shoot."
"Please, tell me you're going to be carrying this on in glee later on?"
Kurt looked over at Sam, puzzled and then they both turned and said in unison "Yes."
Puck was the one cracking up when they spoke, and one quick look at Mercedes was enough to convince Kurt that she had no more idea about what was so funny than they did.
"Uh, Puck?" Sam heard himself saying.
"Yeah?" The self proclaimed sex-shark raised his head to answer and then started chuckling again.
"What's so funny?"
His answer was so obvious that after he had left the classroom still laughing all three of the teens still in the room just looked at each other in mild horror.
"'Cause you have to sing each other's songs. And you can't back out, 'cause Shue has a list of what everyone's performing."
A/N: I'd like to point out that for the purposes of my random muse Kurt, as well as Quinn, Santana and Brittany, are still Cheerios.
I really have no idea whether this is okay, or if you'll like it, so please review and let me know? :) x