AN: I think I just diagnosed myself with depression, and wrote about it...Naruto style

Disclaimer: nothing

I just need some silence; this world makes too much noise! I can't stand it anymore; assholes and retards just make my day worse. I can't believe some of the things I hear on a daily basis, and it drives me up the wall.

I'm too smart for this shit; I need some place where I can grow, some place I can speak without having input from the peanut gallery behind me. THIS IS BULLSHIT!

And I can't take anymore!

I'm giving this world the middle finger and never taking it back. They don't deserve this mind, these words that flow from me like water. I hate them all!

I don't care about anything anymore, I don't feel things like I used to. It cuts deep like knives in my chest, twisting and cutting, thrashing pieces to bits. It hurts like nothing I can describe, these words have failed me, and they were all I had left.

I'm not suicidal; the word just makes me shiver. I would never be that selfish and mean, and I'm a wimp when it comes to pain. I can't bring it upon myself.

It hurts so much I can't stop the bleeding, my heart turns to stone and sinks in my chest, rattling my ribs as it clanks down and down, finally reaching the ugly black pit.

My core.

Myself.

Little things will set it off, things you wouldn't think of being triggers: inspiration fails me, I feel like crying.

A mood will wash over me like waves, carrying me under and dragging me down. I go quiet and utter not a word. It hurts forming the words; my throat won't let them out.

Because I don't care enough to say them.

I'm not going to answer the phone, who cares about the person on the other end? I don't.

People won't leave me alone, I want them gone but I need them to live.

I need the negativity that is society to keep this ragged heart beating. I need it to fuel my hate that burns hotter everyday.

It sucks the life out of me, I'm so young but aging faster than light. My body is tired, my soul is weak, and I just don't want to deal with anything anymore.

I've screamed it basically, from rooftops and towers, but I think everyone's gone blind and deaf.

The achievements aren't enough, the awards don't mean shit, and no matter how far I go it'll never be enough.

I'll still be empty; the success will only make it worse. I need to strive but I need to fail, it's this never ending battler inside my head that rages everyday, spiraling me into this never-ending downward staircase.

It's becoming too much, I'm growing a shorter fuse, and it hurts just to breath.

This mask, this façade, is crumbling quickly; so fast I can't glue the pieces back together to hold my real self in.

And my real self scares me to no end. It's dark and cold, but it's that evil that rests deep in my gut that I long to let loose. I want to see it rip people apart and tear their bodies in two.

It's that evil that I want to become, but the saint comes marching in, breaking up the darkness with that irritating light.

Fuck this shit, I want to kill something, just punch it so hard my knuckles bleed and it's skull caves in. I wanna beat something down into the pulp I feel like; I want someone to share my pain!

But it's just going to stay with me, it always has, and it always will.

These may just be angry rambles dished out in less than five minutes, but it feels so good, I want it more and more!

My fingers are on fire, and I'm craving that darkness once again. I need it; I really need it to keep this stony heart thrashing against my chest.

My salvation is close to nothing and my hope is quickly dwindling. So I see no end in sight. This world is caving in on me and my shoulders aren't strong enough, my knees are shaking and I can hear my bones cracking, the pain is washing over me.

Until it all comes tumbling down.

Sometimes random shit will just irk the hell outta me, and after rereading the latest Naruto chapters (the one where Naruto goes to the waterfall of truth and finds his inner self), it really got me thinking about what's rumbling inside. If you're gonna review, don't take this the wrong way, I don't want sympathy. Don't think about my earlier comment, just tell me if you liked the little tid-bit. Thank you.