0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 10 AND YOU WERE 8... we both tried out for the blitzball team. It was a stupid idea though; I wasn't good at blitzball and you had never played before. It was obvious that neither of us would make the team, I knew this truth the moment both of us showed up to try outs. However, you still had a hopeful shine in your bright cerulean blue eyes.
When we officially didn't make the team, you frowned. Your beautiful eyes shifted to the ground and your shoulders seemed to cave in on yourself. I watched you closely and admired the way you scowled at the ground.
I felt my stomach do flips and tie itself into knots. I shifted from foot to foot, trying to make the uneasy feeling leave me. But it did nothing, because I would always feel that way while I looked at you.
You turned around to walk away, and it felt like my heart was sinking to my feet. I didn't want you to leave! So I walked after you and put a hand on your shoulder.
"It's okay, I didn't make it either," I said, my voice quivered. I wasn't sad. I felt like I wanted to throw up and rip off my skin and hide, but I wasn't sad. I guess I was nervous, or scared. I don't know. But that nervous feeling was gone the instant you turned around to look at me.
Your blue eyes met my green ones, and a small smile crept onto your face. In that one single moment, I knew a truth that would take me years to accept ...YOU CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 12 AND YOU WERE 10... we stayed up past midnight together. It was August 7th, the day of your birthday. You invited me to sleep at your house to celebrate your birthday with you. You invited other people, but I was the only one you asked to sleep at your house. I felt really special.
We watched a few movies, and looked at the inappropriate magazines Hayner got you for your birthday. They were all of naked girls, but I didn't like it. I didn't feel turned on by the girls in their panties, I only saw them as girls in panties and nothing else. I felt weird to admit that, so I didn't say anything. I watched you instead. Your bright eyes were wide, and your blonde hair was disheveled. I guess you liked the magazine more than me.
After that, you wanted to go outside to the roof. I agreed, and we ended up laying next to each other to watch the stars. You had always loved space, ever since I met you. You knew the names of all the constellations and planets, and you felt at home when you looked at them. When you stared at the stars, you felt safe and warm. You thought of the stars as different worlds and different places, and you thought that every time someone was in love, the person they loved would become a star.
Soon, you fell asleep while you were talking. I hadn't talked much, I was content with just listening to you babble. When you fell silent, I looked over at you. You looked peaceful as you slept. You mouth was curved into a small smile, and I figured that you were dreaming about the stars. I watched you sleep and was wrapped up in my own thoughts. I thought about love, and what love meant. Some said it was the way your heart fluttered, or how you would do anything for someone. But, then, I realized love is when you feel like you're home.
I shifted onto my back and fell asleep, dreaming about you. I accepted that ...YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS HOME.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 16 AND YOU WERE 14... we talked everyday. Our friendship blossomed into one where we would call each other or text each other at every waking moment. You were always the one I would talk to when I got home and before I left. I liked that.
One day, you didn't answer my calls or my texts. I felt an emptiness in my chest and a heaviness in my gut. I tried to breathe, but instead my throat clenched shut. I threw my phone across my bed room, not wanting the constant reminder.
Suddenly, my phone rang. I scrambled across my room as fast as I could and picked it up. You were on the other end. Your breaths were shaky and nervous, I could tell.
"Meet me at the clock tower right now. I have to tell you something," you said. Then you hung up the phone. I stared at my phone, in a daze. I felt weird, like I was in a dream.
I ran to the clock tower. When I got there I saw you sitting on the ledge, staring down at your hands. I watched you for a few moments. I admired the spiky style of your hair, and the bright color of your eyes. You turned around and saw me. You smiled and I felt a tingling sensation all over my body.
I walked to you and sat next to you. We were quiet for a long time, but it wasn't awkward. I felt happy as long as I was next to you.
The sun was setting when you finally spoke. You gingerly grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. Heat rose to my cheeks. We had never held hands.
"Axel...I think I'm in l-love with you," you said to me. My heart stopped for a moment, then picked up at dizzying speed. I couldn't help but smile at you. You were very worried, I could tell from the way you bit your lip. I gave your hand a squeeze. I wanted to tell you that I loved you too, but my voice didn't seem to be working. I was too happy knowing that ...YOU SAID LOVED ME.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 18 AND YOU WERE 16... I went to college. We spent the last night together. Neither of us spoke about our separation, it would ruin it. But I could still feel the weight of our distance when you kissed me. Every time our lips met, I could taste the sadness on your tongue and could feel the heartache on your lips.
I broke away from you, and looked you in the eyes. You were so beautiful. Your face was flushed yet your expression was stoic. Your blue eyes didn't seem as bright as usual, they looked flat. Your blond hair looked a bit duller. I sighed and pressed my hand to your cheek. Your hand touched mine. You smiled at me and I smiled back. I pressed my lips to your forehead, softly.
I pulled you closer, your head on my chest. My pale hand played with your soft blond locks. I could feel your racing heart against my chest and the rapid breaths chilling my bare skin. Then I felt a wetness on my chest. I frowned and lifted your face to look at mine.
Tears trickled out of your eyes, and your mouth was twisted into a frown. I wiped away your tears. I had never seen you cry, and I never wanted to see you cry again. I leaned into your ears and promised you that I would be yours forever.
You smiled softly at me. You brought your forehead against mine and ...YOU SAID FOREVER.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 21 AND YOU WERE 19... It was Januray 6th.
We went to different colleges and only saw each other during the summers and over skype. That wasn't enough for me. I wanted to hold you, I wanted to kiss you softly. So I went to see you.
I went your apartment and I walked inside (you had given me the spare key.) I didn't hear you anywhere. I saw your favorite pair of shoes by the door and your keys on the counter though, so I figured you must be home.
I wanted to surprise you, so I didn't say anything. Instead I walked towards your bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, so I pushed it open. I wish I didn't.
I saw you on top of some guy with short brown hair. You were in the process of taking off your shirt, but the guy you were with had his shirt off already. He turned around and froze. You turned around. You saw me and your seductive smile was instantly wiped off of your face.
I was speechless. I felt numb. I didn't even know how to think. I could barely hear you as you followed me while I ran out of your apartment. You grabbed my arm outside and spun me around to look at you.
Your eyes were beginning to water and your lip was quivering. You begged me to listen to what you had to say and said that you loved me and that you were sorry. I shook my head and pushed you away from me. Then I stalked away from your apartment, fighting back my tears. All I could think was that ...IT WAS OVER.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 25 AND YOU WERE 23...I hadn't talked to you in a long time. I stopped answering your calls and eventually you stopped calling. By now, we both finished college. I didn't move back to Twilight Town, I found a job at a small insurance firm. I had no idea what you did, but I guess you had become an astronomer like you always wanted.
I went to work at 5, came back at 9. It was a boring routine I had been doomed to live with for the past year. I didn't make many friends at the workplace. I didn't feel like much of a people person ever since we broke up.
On the 3rd of April, we got a new intern. I went to work that day, not suspecting anything. I walked into the doors and I stopped in my tracks. At one of my co-workers desk was a small blond with familiar blue eyes. It was you.
You looked up at me, and a nervous smile graced your lips. I smiled back, even though I tried not to. I never really did forgive you, but I couldn't stop myself from walking over to you and kissing you on the lips.
I didn't think I would see you again, but ... YOU WERE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 26 AND YOU WERE 24... it was just us in the office. The boss told me to stay back and look at some papers, and told you to stay in case I needed something.
I just finished the paperwork and was getting ready to leave when you blocked my path. You looked up at me softly. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around my waist and stood on tippy toes to press your lips to mine.
We hadn't kissed in a long time. I missed the feeling of your lips fitting perfectly against mine. I had forgotten the taste of sea-salt ice cream that came with all your kisses. I missed tangling your my fingers in your hair, and I missed caressing your cheek. I missed you.
Our kiss turned into something different. You were more sexual. You wanted more. You tugged at the button of my shirt and ripped it open. Your small hands pawed at my bare chest. I was in a frenzy. I took of your shirt and your pants before you had any time to object. I moved my lips away from yours for a moment and brought you to me desk.
I laid you down on top of it, and hovered above you. You pulled my to roughly and kissed me more passionately than ever. That was the first time ...WE MADE LOVE.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 32 AND YOU WERE 30... we were nervous. Our son would arrive today and we were on our way to pick him up.
I drove. You sat next to me with your feet tapping. You bit your lips and looked out the window. You were too anxious to even talk. I looked at you for a moment then reached out to grab your hand. You smiled at me.
When we got to the building, we looked at each other. This was the moment, the big moment. You reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. I smiled at you, then leaned closer to peck you on the lips.
We walked inside and were greeted by a pretty blond woman. She ushered us into her office and we waited. We waited for a long time. You were growing impatient and your hand was sweating. I gave your hand a squeeze.
Then the door opened and a man walked in holding a baby carrier. You and I both jumped up and grabbed the carrier. Inside was a small boy. He was only a year old. The childs hair was strawberry blond and his eyes were blue. The baby had a lot of baby fat on him, and to me it was the most perfect baby I could have ever hoped for.
I looked up at you to see that you were smiling at me. I smiled back, overjoyed that ...WE HAD A SON.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 45 AND YOU WERE 43... we sat in the hospital.
Tears were leaking out of your eyes freely, and I was crying too. Our beautiful, wonderful, magnificent son was in the bed next to us. He was in a comatose state, ever since last Tuesday.
We didn't know what happened to him. We don't know why our son was covered in bruises, why his legs were shattered, why his brain got so damaged, or who did this to him. We didn't have any answers. We simply got a call from the police, and that was what broke our world.
I sat next to our son, my hand in his. I thought about his 5th birthday and about how the only thing he wanted was to go to the beach. We took him and laughed while he played in the sand. When he was 10, he made it on to the local blitzball team. At his first game he lead the team to victory. We were so proud of him. We threw a little party afterwords for the team. He was so happy.
He looks happy now too, while he sleeps. I don't see the pain that should be racking his body, I don't see any worry on his face. He looks peaceful.
That's when his heart failed and ...I LOST A PART OF MYSELF.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 60 AND YOU WERE 58... You felt broken too, but you never told me. You were more concerned with me. You always were sweet and caring like that, that's part of why I love you.
I cried in your arms that night. It was the anniversary of the death of our son. Your hands stroked my fiery locks. Your lips were tenderly kissing the top of my head.
You leaned your head down to my ears and spoke about our son. You told me that he was watching us and wanted us to be strong. You told me about how much he loves us.
Between my sobs I said to you, "I know all those things! I'll just never see him again."
You stood up from our bed. You grabbed my hand and tugged me to the open window. You pointed at the brightest star in the night sky, then turned back to me with a smile on your face.
"He's right there. He has always been there. We can see him whenever we would like," you said to me. I smiled at you through my tears. I stared up at our som's star and ...I STARTED TO FEEL WHOLE AGAIN.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 75 AND YOU WERE 73... you were almost gone.
I was lucky and had my health, but you were not. Your joints hurt and to breathe was like a struggle for you. I helped you for as long as I could, but eventually I couldn't care for you as well as I could.
I put you in a nursing home. I moved nearby. I spent everyday by your side and held your hand. I told you about the blitzball teams, about your nieces and nephews. You looked so happy when I described the world to you, like you were living again.
I were old and wrinkles, the blond hair I loved was replaced by balding grey. But you were still beautiful in the way you laughed, and how soft your eyes were when you looked at me. You were still the boy I fell in love with.
But, while I was telling you about how old your niece was now, I noticed something different. Your hand was slack in mine. When I looked at you, your eyes looked glassy and blank, and they were looking at me.
I shook you and shook you, but you did not wake. I collapsed onto your body. I cried more than I thought I ever could.
"I love you, forever," I whispered onto your still chest. In my head I heard you say forever.
When the nurses came and took me out of the room, I was still crying. All I could think about was that ...YOU WERE GONE.
0o0o0o
WHEN I WAS 80 AND YOU WERE GONE... I was very alone. You were my other half, my love. You were everything I ever wanted. Now you are gone and all I have is memories.
The memory of you lips on mine, the memory of your voice softly whispering in my ear. I had memories of every moment. I remembered everything about you, I remembered every day we spent together.
I cried still. I always stopped crying at night when I looked to the stars and saw your beautiful face. I found your star, it was right next to our son. I spent all night staring at your stars. I felt safer and more whole when I saw you two.
That feeling always went away and the emptiness returned when daylight came. With the sun came the tears, the hole in my chest reopened, and I felt a loneliness that nothing could fix.
Soon the night came again and I stopped crying. Instead I looked at your stars, then ...I LEFT TO JOIN YOU.
Happy AkuRoku day! Though this wasn't particularly happy...
Whatever! I hope you enjoyed it c: