The statement that Blaine made in BTW to the girls that if it was safe he would want Kurt to go back to McKinley got me thinking. I wanted to see the discussion between them, so as always, I provided my own. And because I had to provide it Glee is not mine
Kurt Hummel thought that his was the absolutely best way to spend a Saturday afternoon, curled up on the bed in his room watching movies with his boyfriend. He almost had to pinch himself on occasion because that fact still hadn't sunk completely in yet. He had a boyfriend, who also happened to be the best friend he had ever had in his life. And said boyfriend was also gorgeous and had the voice of an angel. Looking up from where his head was resting on Blaine's shoulder he smiled.
"What are you grinning about Hummel?" Blaine asked with a grin of his own
"Just happy." Kurt replied leaning up to lay a gently kiss on his boyfriends neck
"Are you really?" Blaine asked with a small sigh "I know that I couldn't be happier right now Kurt, but sometimes it seems like there is something bothering you, something holding you back from being completely happy"
Kurt pulled himself up from the bed and sat cross legged looking deep into Blaine's eyes "You make me happy. Sometimes I wonder if all this is real or just another one of my silly daydreams. I honestly never thought that this would happen."
"No need to rub it in" Blaine chuckled "I know I may be the singularly most clueless person on the planet sometimes. How in the hell did I ever think that the only thing you were to me was a friend?"
"Sheer stupidity?" Kurt replied laughing out loud
"Hey! No calling your boyfriend stupid, so not cool"
"I wasn't calling my boyfriend stupid, I was calling my seranade guys at malls, makeout with rachel friend stupid. Luckily it only took me going New Directions in a moment of weakness to get his attention"
Blaine took a moment before he answered, a pensive look coming over his face. "You really miss them don't you?"
"Sometimes I do." Kurt replied with a small sigh.
"Kurt, it's ok. I understand. As much as you have tried, Dalton just isn't you. I'm so sorry that I pressed you to fit in so much. I think that is what hit me with Blackbird, we just don't express ourselves the way that you and New Directions do. Seeing them do Loser Like Me at regionals and Rachel's solo, it was like they laid everything bare. At the benefit last night it was the same thing. You all sing to express yourselves, we sing because it is tradition. I almost envy you all for that."
"Whenever something was going on we would pick a song that expressed how we were feeling and sing it to the group. Music was how we worked things out. When my dad had his heart attack and I thought I was going to lose him I sang I Want to Hold Your Hand in glee that day. It helped, it let me show how I was feeling, and everyone just listened. I miss that."
"Do you ever think about going back?" Blaine asked in a whisper, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. Looking at Kurt he knew he didn't really want to reply. "It's ok if you do Kurt, I would understand. They are your family there, more than we can ever be."
"I miss them Blaine" Kurt said as silent tears began running down his cheeks "But Karofsky is still there, so I can't go back. And how could I leave now? I finally found you, I can't leave that."
"Kurt, leaving Dalton wouldn't mean leaving me, or at least I would hope not. Tell me honestly, if it was safe to go back, what would you want. Understand that whatever you say, I am going to continue to be right here, you're gonna have to work harder than that to get rid of me." Blaine said quietly looking deeply into Kurt's eyes and holding both his hands tightly.
"I would want to go back" Kurt replied leaning in to wrap his boyfriend in the deepest hug he could. "I would hate to leave you, but I would want to go back"
"I know"