Oneshot set post S9. Hoping Lady J's flu is a little less swine-ish!

The Home Secretary had taken a liking to Ruth. He had requested her presence in his special meeting with Harry that morning. He wanted the input of Section D's Russian expert. Harry thought that it was just that he fancied the sound of her over the phone. It was an ungracious thought and he berated himself for it, she was worth a whole lot more than that.

They were in a car being driven back to the Grid. They said little. Things were still strained and strange between them. The Inquiry had come and gone and he was still here, still in a job, but still miles away from where he wanted to be with Ruth. She couldn't get past Albany and he couldn't tell her it was a lie, he had had to assure the Inquiry of that, no one must know. He had had enough of Albany.

The traffic had ground to a halt. Gridlock.

"Let's walk," said Ruth.

"Thanks, John, we'll walk from here."

They got out, grateful of the fresh air and the tension they felt within the car.

They paused as they crossed the river, a boat passing below them. The sun was low and the mist was still hovering, it was illuminated in a warm, slightly surreal glow.

"It looks beautiful," Ruth said quietly.

"Yes," said Harry but he was looking at her.

"I think the HS has taken a shine to you, Ruth. He'll be offering you my job soon."

She said nothing but glanced at him.

"What would you say?" he willed some reaction out of her.

"I couldn't do what you do Harry," was all she said. For some reason it sounded to him like an admonishment.

It was at that moment and through the mist that Harry saw him, Joachim Muller. And he was walking straight towards them.

Harry pulled Ruth to him and kissed her. He kissed her long and hard. And he didn't stop for a considerable amount of time. When he eventually pulled away from her he stayed close, his eyes darted to check that Muller had gone. He looked back to Ruth. She was staring at him, eyes dilated and mouth slightly open. She was oblivious to Muller, in fact, at this moment in time she was oblivious to most everything.

He reached for his phone.

"Tariq, I need a trace now. Joachim Muller. Lambeth Bridge, heading to the Southbank. Find him and stay with him. Get Beth and Dimitri out there. Do not lose him."

He closed the phone and looked at Ruth. She was still looking at him.

"I'm sorry, Ruth. I couldn't let him see me. He thinks I'm dead. In fact I thought he was. I'll explain later. Come on, we need to get back."

She followed behind him. She said nothing.

Ruth had never sat in a briefing and not listened in her life. She did today.

She was doing her job, she was analysing the situation, it just wasn't the situation of which Harry was briefing them, it was the situation of the kiss and how she had felt and what it had meant and how in the end it had meant nothing as it was just a ruse to not be seen.

"Will you do that?...Ruth?" said Harry.

"Yes. Sorry, do what?"

He looked at her. They all did.

"Are you alright?" asked Dimitri.

"Fine," she snapped back, "I just missed what was said."

Harry had never, in all the time he had known her, seen Ruth miss anything.

He looked at the others, nodding his dismissal. They filed out of the office glancing at one another.

"Ruth…"

"Don't worry, Harry, I'll get Beth to fill me in."

"Ruth…"

She was gone. She hadn't spoken to him since the kiss. Is that what this was about? She was upset he'd used her. It must be that. Did she not realise how important it was for him not to be seen by Muller? No, she hadn't been listening.

Harry wandered out of the meeting room and waited until Ruth had left Beth's station and returned to her own. He crossed the grid to her and leant over the back of her chair and whispered, "Ruth, I need to explain.."

"I know what I'm doing, Harry, there's nothing to explain," she cut him dead.

He turned away and returned to his office but after five minutes of restlessness he emerged and shouted across the grid, "Ruth, here now."

She stood up unwillingly and walked past several pairs of curious eyes.

He slid the door shut.

"Ruth, I'm sorry I kissed you."

She said nothing.

"Well, not sorry, just sorry it was because of what it was, when it was…you know, under those circumstances," he was waffling and he knew it. This was meant to be helping but it wasn't.

He stood somewhat defeated in his explanation and his apology.

"You kissed me because you didn't want to be seen."

"Well….yes."

"And if you'd been with Beth? Would you have done the same?"

"Um…possibly…yes."

"And Dimitri?"

Harry looked uncomfortable. "I would probably have tied my shoelace."

"That's a relief," she said unsmiling.

"If I could have picked anyone, I would rather it had been you."

"Thanks a lot," she said ungratefully.

"Ruth…" he didn't know what else to say.

"You know the problem, Harry?"

"What?"

"The problem isn't that you kissed me because it suited your purpose."

He waited.

"The problem is me. I thought I knew where I was and now I don't."

And she left.

"What does that mean?" he called after her. God, for once could they not just say what they meant.

"Where's Ruth?" said Harry two hours later.

"Gone on a coffee run," answered Beth apologetically, she knew Harry would not be happy about his senior analyst doing coffee runs.

"And Muller?"

"Dimitri and Alec have got him under surveillance. It's all quiet at the moment, he's not left the hotel."

"Right," said a preoccupied Harry and walked to the pods.

Ruth stood looking at the river again. It calmed her….usually.

She had convinced herself that she no longer felt anything, she told herself that she had killed people, she had lost her family and still she felt little or nothing. The service seemed to have drained her of that capacity.

And then he'd kissed her.

"Hi," said Harry.

Ruth was surprised to see him but she only nodded. Neither of them spoke for a long time but looked out at the river.

"I thought you came out for coffee?"

"I drank it," she lied.

"What all six cups?"

"I was thirsty."

He smiled. She didn't.

Time passed once more.

Finally they both went to speak at the same moment.

"Ruth, I…"

"Harry…"

They both stopped and Ruth turned to him but as she did her eyes darted past him and then quickly back to his face as she whispered, "It's Muller."

She reached for the collar of his coat and pulled him towards her and kissed him. She kissed him long and hard. And then she released him. Harry was slightly distracted and so was Ruth.

"Has he gone?" he asked.

"What?"

"Has he gone?"

"Yes," she said as she glanced away.

At that moment Harry's mobile beeped. He read the text and then he turned the display to Ruth so that she too could read the message.

'Muller just leaving the hotel. Dimitri in pursuit.'

Harry looked at Ruth.

She said nothing.

"That wasn't him, was it, Ruth?"

"No."

"You were mistaken?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Then what, Ruth?"

"I needed to know."

"Know what?"

"I needed to know if it would feel the same, to make sure it wasn't just the surprise."

He looked a little perplexed.

"I needed to kiss you to see how I felt."

His heart was hammering. There was no doubt what he was feeling.

"And?"

"I felt."

"Felt what, Ruth?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

"I felt…alive.."

"And I wasn't even trying properly," Harry couldn't keep the cheeky smile from his lips.

Ruth looked at him.

"We could try again, Ruth and this time I'll mean it. It'll be for you and no one else."

She took her time and then simply nodded.

Harry leant slowly and sensually forward and he kissed her. He kissed her long and hard and he meant every second of it.

As he pulled away from her he whispered, "how do you feel now?"

"Overwhelmed," she said.

"Is that a good thing, Ruth?"

"Oh yes, Harry, a very good thing."

He smiled smugly.

She hesitated before she spoke again, "Though just to make sure you'll need to do it again."

He did.

Hope you've enjoyed.