Title: If I Die Young
Date: 29 December 2010
Pairing(s): Ichigo Kurosaki, mentions of Aizen and Tatsuki
Rating: T for mild language
Summary: Ichigo knows that he may not come out of this alive
Word Count: 442
Dedication(s): The song "If I Die Young" by the Band Perry. It's not a songfic, but I was listening to it as I wrote this, and the song was the original inspiration for this as well.
AN/: Sorry for the OOC-ness. I'm feeling weird because I turned 17 yesterday and have realized that I'm three semesters away from graduating and have no clue what I'm going to do with my life. I'm not sure how that comes out as this ficlet, but whatever, sorry for the melodramatic story. "}
Nothing depresses me more than the thought of dieing young. There are so many thoughts that plague me with their sweet temptation. What if this battle really does end my life, both as substitute shinigami, and as a human. What if I save myself only to find my best too weak to save the others that I would die for. I think in that case…I would end my own life. It would be the least I could do to show them my apologies.
Heh…listen to me…only fifteen years old and already I plan my own death. Why the hell can't I live the normal life I always wanted…?
And what about my dad? He's already lost his beloved wife because of my own inadequacy, how would he react to his only son leaving him after only FIFTEEN YEARS ON THIS GOD-FORSAKEN PLANET!
Either way, I refuse to have this any other way. Aizen-conceited bastard-says that he did all of this because of me? I call his bullshit…but still I stand tall as I walk towards where he stands, prepared to blow Tatsuki away with one swing. Somehow I do think that this is my fault. No…I don't think, I believe.
…Aizen or I will die today…
If I do die today, I want to be lain to rest in the river where I lost my mother. I want my father to know that he will always be my hero and that I didn't mind the sneak attacks as much as I let on. They made me more aware of my surroundings. I need my sisters to watch him and make sure that he sends me away with the words of the song he wrote for me and mom the day I was born. If he doesn't, that's understandable, but it would make me smile to know that he would still remember the joy of the day his wife blessed him with a son. I want my friends to know that I would never change what is about to happen now. I couldn't live with myself if I had it any other way.
How sharp is this knife of a short life? I don't feel any pain as I call the demon's attention to myself. It's time for me to put on my best. I will see them all again someday, but until them, I will be the sky that they can stand under and know that I'm safe for once.
If I die today, I will be three months, five days, and 11 minutes until I will be sixteen. I will die young, but all I can feel is peace.