Their Loneliness
She slammed the cubicle door shut, the tears now flowing freely down her cheeks why should her choices have to separate them? She thought they were close, tight knit, yet they so freely discarded her like litter. She was on her own now, after all of the dangers she had faced for them, the scars the rumours now, it was all meaningless. She paused fruitlessly attempting to compose herself; crying was for the weak, she was not weak. Then she heard that she was not alone with grief, outside the cubicle another's tears could be heard too. She was foolish for crying over her problems, friends fall out all the time, to apologise and make up later. However, whoever was crying out there sounded distraught and desperate and...
She slid back the latch on the cubicle door and gently pushed it open with a creek, she was stunned frozen to the spot that the person so broken was Malfoy. He ran the cold tap still tears flooding his pale sunken face, he had not heard her presence otherwise he would be very defensive what could break Malfoy? She wondered she thought he was one of the strongest of all of us, from studying his profile from behind she realised he was very thin, gaunt in fact, his hair was unusually messy and unkempt and he was trembling.
She felt exceptionally sorry for him, as a Gryffindor she wasn't meant to but she did, afraid of how he would react when her presence was noticed she inched forward silently and placed a gentle hand on his right shoulder.
"Malfoy" she breathed, almost a whisper, he jumped away from her as though her hand burned him. His eyes were cold and grey yet frenzied; he grabbed her by the throat and slammed her into the stone wall, her head rebounding from the impact, his wand pressed into abdomen.
"What do you want Sharpe?" he growled dangerously in her face. Lydia Sharpe was not a timid girl and yet she could not speak her eyes stung, afraid she would not cry, not because she was afraid of him but of how alone she felt, very alone. The pressure on her throat increased and now her eyes welled, flowing down her olive cheeks.
"Answer me!" he was really angry now, but Draco knew he was venting as he felt angry and hurt and betrayed, she made the perfect punch bag.
"I don't want anything, I just thought you might need some comfort you were alone and crying and..." She trailed off realising just how pathetic she sounded.
"I was not crying" Malfoy spat bitterly. This was where she knew it would anger him but she didn't care.
"Sure, Malfoy because that's how I act when I'm ecstatic, and get off of me you have no right to have your hands on me. Let me go!" She writhed and fought in his grip however he had a lot more strength than her and she was overpowered easily. He was angry again, no furious, his face was towering over her and his body was smothering her between himself and the wall.
"I bet Potter had you spy on me, didn't he? Didn't he? You two are a cute little couple aren't you?" he snarled seething; the venom in his every word was terrifying especially when he was on the topic of Harry.
"He wishes!" Lydia exclaimed tears in her eyes again "That's why I'm here; I was in that cubicle in tears. He asked me out I said no, now Ron hates me as I turned down his boyfriend." She laughed however there was no warmth it cold and bitter. "Even Hermione is against me, she stays out of it, to stay with them and now none of my friends will talk to me and I am so alone." She attempted to gather herself and continued; "I came out here and I thought that your problems looked bigger than mine, that you might need a, a..."
He listened to her intently pleased that she too was pissed at St. Potter however now his guard was up.
"A what? What do I need? I'm Draco Malfoy; I need nothing and no one." He was still intimidating, however now she had figured him out, he was scared.
"A friend Draco, maybe that's what you need. You don't have to do everything alone, and you don't look particularly happy by yourself."
He released her throat from his vice grip, studying her, she was actually intriguing. However she was still trapped in the human sandwich between him and the wall. Potter was a git to hurt her, she was quite beautiful with her dark hair and her eyes which were dark also almost as though with them you could read into her soul.
"It's his loss, Sharpe. I'm sure plenty others would hang out with you, and Granger and Weasley are stupid to follow Potter, hating you for his mistakes." He spoke more gently now.
There was a silence a moment of quiet acceptance between the two of them Lydia understood that he couldn't open up to her and tell the truth, that they couldn't come out of this best friends, however this moment between them could mean something. They regarded each other, Malfoy moved away from the wall expecting her to run away and possibly hex him. However, she astounded him when she walked towards him slowly and wrapped her arms around his torso placing her head lightly against his chest. She really was a mystery, an enigma, a puzzle, so different to every other girl he had ever met and they both realised that they had judged each other on appearances.
Malfoy stood confused by the affection he was being given, his own family never treated him like this in sixteen years of his existence. He didn't hug back, just stood confused at how to react.
"Just relax Malfoy, I'm not going to bite you, just yet," she whispered quietly into him. He responded by trying something new, Draco curled his arms around her pulling her in closer. They both stood there as time passed them by, it wasn't until she could feel him trembling and wet running down her neck that she realised the affection she had shown had open his heart he was now crying. Lydia was afraid to speak, knowing that when she did his walls would go back up and she would be in the sandwich between him and the wall once more."Draco", she whispered "Don't pull away, or go mental again. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I've learnt from you that I can let my walls down, it helps. Want to try it? Lydia never broke the hug keeping him close to her, giving him the reassurance to open up, emotion therapy for free. "What you tell me stays in this bathroom and we can leave it in here, Draco." They were silent once more; he was racking his brains as to how to say it, and what to say. How had this one Gryffindor girl, one of Potter's friends, made him like this.
"That was my first hug, ever..." He breathed his voice strained Lydia stayed quiet this was his turn to speak, "My father doesn't believe in affection, he forbade it from my Mother and I. I am a lie Lydia, I'm not this monstrous invincible pureblood everyone believes me to be, that's what people want me to be, everyone needs something or someone to hate and blame to unify the population against something. I am that someone, I can unite the whole school by knocking down a first year; or calling Granger a mudblood. I am weak and vulnerable and not who my father wants or believes me to be, who I need to be. I am putting everyone and everything you care about in danger- including myself – and yet you feel sorry for me because I cannot destroy your everything. I'm not a monster Lydia." Draco whispered softy, he trembled from indecision and the treat of impending death. He could never tell her the truth, not because he didn't want to or because he would be risking his life ,but because that would make him a terrible and selfish monster, putting her in mortal danger in order to ease his sense of guilt and grief.
For Lydia this event was insightful and shocking to understand the inner workings of a fascinating and guarded mind such as Draco's and she realised that he didn't want to be the wicked character played but he didn't have a choice. They both saw each other now as people not dissimilar to each other they had never broken their embrace they just held each other hoping that comfort from both a stranger and an enemy could save them. She leant back and gazed into the fascinating depth that was his eyes, and saw that Draco's eyes were the same colour as molten silver now not hard and void of emotion like earlier. He was an innocent forced into a life of darkness and evil he could join them or die by them, Lydia saw him as a misunderstood hero he never complained about his personal life he just carried on to try and sustain his life and avoid impending death. He reminded Lydia of a fallen angel the way his hair was beautiful and unkempt with it ruffled giving him a more dangerous and attractive appearance, it was unfathomable how something so beautiful could be so dangerous. The strange thing is he was thinking the exact same thing the flood gates had opened he was talking and she wasn't even a therapist he was worried that next he would next befriend Potter and fall in love with the girl, she could be his undoing and he knew it. She saw the thought on his face and stretched up to caress a stray lock of blond hair from his eyes, this gentle and yet foreign female touch made him close his eyes, relishing in the moment of tenderness shared between him and the intriguing girl before him. He opened his eyes when he realised that her hand had never moved from his left cheek, when he looked down he didn't see pity or fear; he saw wonder and beauty in the person before him. Draco allowed himself to not think this through he simply leaned down and tenderly kissed her. It was affectionate and beautiful, she tilted her chin up to meet him and responded to his kiss, she laced her fingers through his soft tresses, and slowly he wrapped his arms tighter around his enemy turned love, the forbidden. The once friendly safe hug was now a perilous and dangerous embrace that could wound and destroy each of them. There was a kind of electricity a raw and untamed passion they couldn't possibly wish to end, they were now kissing fiercely, he picked her up so the height difference didn't strain his neck. Tongues delved, they were like ballerinas in a dance wrapped in each other swaying and holding each other sweeping to leaning against the wall. Resembling a love story praying that the end would not be a tragedy, but a joy, all which mattered at that moment was the solace they had now found in each other and it was beautiful to behold.
The two teens wanted to bottle this moment and live in it forever, and never have to resort to woe and death that roamed out of this bathroom, with prejudices and war and darkness, they were the light in the dark, and after we cannot find the light without experiencing darkness and they were a light so bright when combined that it could destroy all looming evils. They looked deep into each other's now not only seeing themselves but each other their souls were alike and yet so different. It was not going to be easy in fact it was going to be extremely difficult for them but if they survived each other's secrets, demons and inner darkness, they could find the meaning of true joy and love. Eventually Draco would need to confess to the deed hanging over his every breath. However this one girl was giving him a chance for light and love and happily ever after, she gave him a newfound want to be good and love her eternally.
They stood now still intertwined wishing and dreaming of simplicity and instead were presented with no right answer. Other than they were going to have to try every single day to make things work, however it takes true woe and strife to find and encompass true everlasting love, they were going to have to take a leap to find if they together could fly. Every story of true love have had battles and obstacles to overcome and so would they however united they were stronger than any army.
"I can't go it alone anymore" Draco whispered quietly into her ear raw emotion thick in his voice. Lydia smiled up at him her dark eyes shining
"You don't have to. She grinned, "If we take it a baby step at a time we can make it there."
Neither of the pair had a clue where 'there' was, but Draco thought that if Lydia was going then sure as hell so would he. She gave him optimism in a world full of darkness and she forgot the spat her and her friends were in, and as far as Potter was concerned he could, just watch.
"What did I do to deserve you" he spoke fervently rewarding her with a kiss, just for being who she was.
"I think we need each other, love. We complete the empty half of the other the loneliness that was within us both brought us together." Lydia spoke honestly hiding nothing from Draco, as he wished he could her, however he would have to for now keep his secrets from her for Lydia's own safety.
The young couple left the memories of that bathroom behind them and hand in hand exited to what they could only hope was a brighter future; however neither could be sure of anything with the now rapidly approaching war. Draco had to choose a side, his heart with the light, or the darkness simply to save himself. Nothing was certain other than that Lydia would always fight for good and all Draco knew was that even though he had only felt like this for forty seven minutes whatever she was fighting he wanted to be there to protect and defend her from danger, all they wanted was each other, and that would sustain itself lifelong and never change. They now abandoned the place they found both each other and themselves and although loneliness brought them together, they were now united and striving to deserve nothing more than each other's love.