Spoilers through Comeback. A celebration in glee club has unintended consequences Ensemble piece but the main incident involves Artie.
No Good Deed
Author's note: I don't own any Glee characters. Let's pause while you recover from the shock. Done now? Okay. This is my return to fan fiction after working on a novel and life stuff. I will return to my on-going Buffy stories, starting with Higher Education and Abandoned Buildings, but it's awfully long and I have to reread it myself as I try to remember how to write other people's characters. So I decided to start with a show I'm enjoying now. Hope it doesn't suck
Will Schuester sighed as the afternoon's glee club rehearsal ended. Regionals were coming up, Sue was coaching his competition, and his kids were not in a good place. There were too many divisions; Rachel seemed to be pouting, Finn was avoiding the diva, Quinn was staring daggers at Sam and Santana, which was upsetting Brittany, which meant that Artie was spending more time trying to comfort her than paying attention to his number with Mercedes. Mike and Tina were in their own world and Lauren, although trying her best, wasn't a natural performer. It was a sad day when Puck was the most attentive person in the club.
Glee club needed a change. "Maybe they'd like to feel more involved," he thought. "Hey guys!" Will called out, "I think we need to try something new for Regionals." That got almost everyone's attention. Quinn was still staring at Sam, but eleven out of twelve was an improvement. "Tomorrow I'd like to see how Rachel would like to stage our first number." Seeing Santana, Mercedes, and Tina start to protest, he quickly added, "We'll let Mercedes try on Friday and anyone else can have a turn next week. Who knows, maybe we can find a winning number."
Rachel had found a notebook and was jotting things down already. Mercedes was smiling and Brittany and Santana were talking to Artie about a number. Will smiled as he looked at the students. "Yeah," he thought, "this will be good for them."
Finn walked over to Artie. "Have you finished, you know, the thing?"
Artie wheeled away from Santana and Brittany and told the quarterback, "I'll send it to Coach tonight," he promised. Finn nodded and left.
"What was Frankenteen talking about?" Santana asked.
Artie was evasive, "It's for tomorrow, a video that coach Beiste wanted."
"Something with burly men who know how to treat ladies right?" Santana guessed.
"Uh, no," Artie quickly countered, not wanting to go follow that train of thought. "It's kind of a surprise." He looked over to Brittany. "Is it okay if we leave it for now? I kind of promised not to tell anyone."
Santana knew that if she pressed, Brittany would get interested and Artie would cave. She would have never thought that Artie Abrams of all people would be the person who cared for Brittany almost as much as she did. It made her happy and uneasy at the same time. Still, she's told him on no uncertain terms that, if he hurt Brit again all that would be left of him was "a pile of ugly sweaters and two wheels."
Still, the video sounded boring. Besides, why stir up trouble here when there were so many other people to mess with? She shrugged and left to take Brittany to motocross practice.
One person was interested in what Artie was doing, Lauren Zizes.
Lauren was head of the AV club, and like everything she did, she took her responsibility seriously. So she waited a few minutes then snuck up to the AV room. Artie was editing video files. She looked over his shoulder and he looked back at her, shrugged, and continued.
It was footage of the championship football game. Seeing she wasn't leaving, Artie explained, "Finn suggested that since the only reason we were able to play the game was the help of the girls in glee that you should all be given letterman's jackets. Coach thought it was a great idea, and I'm making a video to go with the jackets. She insisted it be G-rated, so we don't get into any trouble." Noting Lauren's frown, he added, "We know you already have a jacket for wrestling." Though they had known each other for years, he was always a little afraid of the Lauren.
Something didn't seem right to her. "How did you get so many angles? Normally we only have one or two guys taping, but you have six video files."
Artie chuckled. "Puck set it up. He asked me to get extra video guys."
"Why."
"We didn't want Rachel, Mercedes, or Tina to get hurt," Artie explained. "We told the guys on the other team before the game that the girls would be falling down as soon as the ball was snapped and that we'd be taping them every play. If they stepped on them, or did anything to hurt them, we'd post the video and they'd be known as creeps who beat up girls and probably wouldn't have sex until college." Lauren laughed. "Plus, Mike said that he knew six Asian poisons that couldn't be detected by modern science and he'd be happy to use them if anybody touched Tina."
Artie inserted a shot focused on Lauren. "What about the camera on me?" Her voice had taken on an ominous tone.
Artie shrank down in his wheelchair. "Puck told the other team that he'd be videoing you destroying them on each play and that he'd take it home to enjoy later." He waited for Lauren to punch him, but she only said, "Good."
Lauren laughed again when she saw the rapid repeats of Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina falling down, all set to a cover of Michael Jackson's "Beat it" by Fall Out Boy.
"Some of the guys kind of lost attention as the game went on," she noticed as Artie continued to piece the video together.
"Yeah, the only guy who caught each play was Jacob. He was taping Rachel." Artie cringed. "I really don't want to think about that too much."
"Yeah," Lauren agreed.
Artie came to the play where Tina recovered the fumble. He checked between all of the angles and put together a three-camera cut that focused on her eyes as she ran. He processed it in slow motion and set it to R Kelly's "I Believe I Can fly,' ending it with a gong sound when she was tackled. He checked the video and found a tight shot of Mike's concerned face as she was on the ground. "They'll like that," he said, as if trying to convince himself.
"What about this shot?" Lauren said, reaching over Artie's shoulder to Jacob's video. He'd stopped perving on Rachel long enough to focus on Artie's breathless reaction as he stared at his former girlfriend.
"Overkill," Artie mumbled. "We don't want it to look like she died or anything."
"Yeah, right," Lauren thought. "You don't want her to think you might have feelings for her." "I think it's a good shot of you," she persisted.
"It's for the girls, not me," Artie replied. There was only a little footage left before the half ended, so Artie added a brief montage from the halftime show and Finn's winning play, followed by Rachel close ups courtesy of Jacob, including one of her spitting on the sidelines. That, he thought, was the perfect way to end the video.
"I want to watch it before you send it to Coach Beiste," Lauren said. "I have to make sure it makes the AV club look good."
Artie looked dubious, but she was in charge, so there really wasn't anything he could do. "Sure. I'll need it tomorrow, though."
"No problem," Lauren said. "I'll just make sure Puckerman has something to worth watching."
That seemed to calm Artie, "The part where you made that guy cry is at the two minute mark," Artie said as he trundled off.
Lauren watched the video and was impressed. Artie had done a good job. She took out one shot where two guys had double teamed her and knocked her over. Artie had immediately followed it with shots of her nailing both guys, but it was the principal of the thing. That left the video about four seconds shorter than Artie's original cut. She found the shot of Artie while Tina was hurt and added that, which exactly made up for the missing shot. She thought Tina would like to know that Artie was concerned.
She forwarded the video file to Coach Beiste and texted Artie that she had sent the file. Said it was her good deed for the day. Then she edited together a quick video of Puck from the game footage and put it on her flash drive. It seemed only fair.
Sam and Santana were lying in the former cheerleader's bed, trying to catch their breath. "Not bad for a rookie," Santana quipped as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. "Definitely better than Finn," she was sure to add. She saw Sam's reaction and smiled. "Yes, this is so much more fun than some video," she thought.
"That was…" Sam tried to think of the words but nothing came to mind.
Santana laughed. "You play video games right?"
"Yeah," Sam managed, not sure where this was heading.
"Well you just gots a new one, Call of Bootie, and you just cleared level 1. And it only gets better from here." She bent down to kiss him. She loved the look of adoration he gave her, and wanted to make him happy as well. "Besides, this should make sure that he never looks at Quinn again," she thought.
Rachel tore another sheet out of her notebook, balled it up, and threw it into the trashcan by her desk. It just didn't work. She knew what she wanted, a sad duet from two of the other glee kids (maybe Tina and Puck) leading into the anthem she would compose, with herself as the lead singer. Until she finished her song she would have something inferior as a placeholder; probably the Beatles Hey Jude (the rest of the team could join in during the Nah Nah Nahs so they would feel included).
The problem was that she needed to be framed by the others at the end of the performance, and there just weren't enough guys. She would be in the center of course, and there had to be five couples around her. Artie was the problem. Sitting in his wheelchair he was even shorter than her and it would throw off the composition. Maybe she could put him with the band, playing guitar. Mercedes would help with the chorus, so she would be off to the left, opposite the band. Lauren didn't match well with the other guys, so she could stand beside Mercedes. Brittany and Mike and Tina and Puck could handle the dancing during the chorus, which left Sam and Santana and Finn and Quinn – Wait, no she wasn't going to let that happen.
So there would be Quinn and Sam and Santana and – That wouldn't work either. Okay, Lauren and Finn and Sam and Santana. That left Quinn beside Mercedes, or standing alone behind Rachel, neither of which helped create a balanced five-point star with her at the center. Maybe Santana or Quinn could get one of the former guy Cheerios to join for the performance. It's not like they had anything else to do. She allowed herself a brief smile at the demise of the Cheerios. Not that she was celebrating the misfortunes of others; just that apparently karma did exist and she was in this rare case the beneficiary.
Yeah, a new guy would help. Maybe it would even improve Quinn's mood if another guy were on the team. "That would work," Rachel said to herself, "I'm doing this for her."
Finn and Puck had slowly rebuilt their friendship since the championship game. Currently they were sitting in new Hummel-Hudson house, playing video games while Kurt did his homework. Artie had come over with Puck, and he was checking the latter's geometry homework to make sure his tutoring was paying off.
"You're sure you can't cut class at Dalton tomorrow?" Artie asked Kurt.
"Given how much money my dad and Carole are spending, no," Kurt sighed.
"But the girls would totally love it if you saw them get their lettermen's jackets," Finn persisted. We're doing it at glee practice after school. You'd just have to cut out during last period."
"I'll see," was as far as Kurt was willing to go. He didn't want to go back, not as long as Karosfsky was there, but he was enjoying this. Finally hearing something about glee from the guys, not just bits and pieces from Rachel or Mercedes.
Artie's cell went off, "Lauren sent the video to Coach," he told Finn and Puck.
"Great," Puck said not bothering to look up from the video game. "So, after I finish schooling Finnster, what do you guys want to do?"
Artie's cell went off again. It was Brittany. "Hey B," he said.
"Hey Brittany," the guys chorused.
"Puck, Finn, and Kurt say 'hi.'" Artie dutifully relayed. "How did motocross go?" Kurt listened in, privately amused at Artie's change in attitude as he talked to his girlfriend. He noted a blush on his friend's cheek at something the former cheerleader said. "Babe, I know you bought it for me and I really like it, it's just…" "Sure, you're right. It'll go with that. I'll wear it tomorrow. Okay, I'll meet you by your locker tomorrow morning. Love you, bye."
"Awww" Finn and Puck called out as he hung up the phone. Artie picked up a cushion from the couch and threw it at them.
"What was that all about?" Kurt quietly asked. He didn't want to make Artie uncomfortable, but this sounded perilously close to good gossip.
"Brittany bought me a sweater and she wants me to wear it tomorrow," Artie explained.
"So, all of your sweaters are horrid," Kurt replied. "What's the problem?"
"I'm pretty sure Mercedes will send you a picture tomorrow, so you'll see for yourself," Artie groaned.
"Then why are you doing it?"
"Because she wants me to," Artie admitted, his earlier gloom lifting immediately. "It'll make her happy, and there's almost nothing I wouldn't do to make her happy." His voice dropped, "as tomorrow will show."
Puck nudged Finn, "My boy is whipped," he said pointing over to Artie.
Finn smile at the comment quickly faded. "But at least he has a girlfriend."
"Hey, it's just a matter of time with Lauren," Puck said with only a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
"Well, you're doing better that I am with Quinn. She's moping around staring at Sam. I don't understand it," the quarterback grumbled.
Puck shrugged. "Look, I know the last thing you want is me talking about is Quinn, but my baby momma has been through a lot. She lost the Cheerios and her boyfriend in a couple of weeks. That's gotta be tough."
"So you're saying I should wait?" Finn asked.
"I'm saying maybe she needs a friend," Puck clarified.
Burt Hummel arrived from work and saw the boys gathered around the television. It was nice to see Kurt with friends.
"Long day, dad" Kurt noted.
"Inventory week. It's always a pain in the rear." He smiled at a memory. "Especially since I don't have my assistant checking off items for me anymore."
"Sorry dad, since I've been at Dalton the homework…"
"Hey, don't worry about it. Carole and I are proud of what you're doing there. I just miss you sometimes," he sighed, tousling his son's hair to his oh-so-obvious displeasure.
The other boys laughed; none of them, not even Puck, dared to muss the fabled Hummel hairdo.
The next morning, Artie put his jacket in his locker, pulled out a stopwatch and started it, and began wheeling over to Brittany's locker. He placed the watch on his lap and five seconds later heard the first laugh. Not that he blamed the girl. He was wearing a yellow sweater with ducks on it; courtesy of his girlfriend. And not just ducks, but smiling little chicks. Normally Brittany had great taste, except in this one area. Ducks were her fashion kryptonite.
At twenty seconds, he heard a cell camera snap and looked up to see Mercedes. Puck came by at fifty seconds and said, "If you weren't my bud now, you would totally be duct-taped to the flagpole for wearing that," he laughed, shaking his head. "Brittany?" Puck asked. Artie nodded. "Sorry dude," Puck slapped Artie on the shoulder. "I gotta run. Got the strangest text from Lauren last night."
At one minute fifty seconds he got a text from Kurt, giving his outfit 4 Urkels, the worst rating on his friend's scale of horrible outfits Artie had worn.
Karofsky shoved him into a locker at two minutes.
At three minutes, he saw Brittany by her locker, wearing a matching silly duck sweater that looked so much better on her. She looked up and smiled at him. And all of the embarrassment was worth it. Even the slushie he got from one of the hockey guys after fourth period. At least after that he had a reason to change out of the sweater.
Quinn stopped by her locker and absentmindedly put away her jacket and grabbed a notebook.
'Hey," Finn called to her. When she looked over at him, he asked, "Would you mind helping me with the Geometry? I don't know what I did wrong, but I'm pretty sure you that the sum of the angles in a triangle isn't 4,000 degrees."
"Sure," Quinn said. "Let's take a look at it." She smiled as they walked to class.
At lunch Will was sitting with Coach Beiste when Sue stopped in front of their table. "Sorry Will, can't stay long, the toxic chemicals coming off your hair might singe my eyebrows, but I just wanted to give you a few details about how Aural Intensity is going to destroy your gang of hopeless losers at Regionals."
Coach Beiste looked up at Sue and said mildly, "I don't think you wanna do that."
"Who asked you, She-Hulk?" Sue said, staring at the football coach.
Coach just smiled and continued, "Well, I found the show choir rulebook online, and it says that attempts made by a coach to intimidate, harass, or otherwise impair another choir from performing are subject to that coach's suspension pending a ruling by the board. Since we're only a few weeks from the Regionals, if Will files a complaint, your team would have to forfeit, since the board only meets every six months."
Sue stared blankly at the football coach.
Will's grin was even broader than Coach Beiste's. "So you're saying that Sue can't come by the choir room, the auditorium, or my office, conducting verbal drive-bys?"
"I'm not saying it, the rulebook is. You really should read it, Will. Rules are our friends. Without them we're just a cow pie in flapjacks."
Sue groaned and fled, kicking open the door to the teacher's lounge. Just when she'd found a reason to live she was being forced to leave Will and the glee club alone.
At three, everyone assembled for glee club practice. Kurt hadn't been able to make it, but everyone else was there, and Coach Beiste was sitting on Will's desk with a computer and projector hooked up and a box that Finn assumed contained the lettermen's jackets. He was sitting on the top row of chairs beside Quinn. Puck and Lauren were sitting together, as were Brittany, Santana, and Sam. Mercedes was sitting on the front row beside Artie, next to Tina and Mike. Rachel was sitting beside Mike.
"Okay guys," Will called out. "Coach Beiste has a presentation to make."
"Coach!" the guys called out.
"Shut it!" coach replied with a smile on her face. This was why she taught high school. Feeling the love and respect from the kids, knowing she was having a positive impact on their lives, it made it all worthwhile.
"Three weeks ago, we almost lost out on the chance to play in McKinley High's first championship football game in 20 years. Four young ladies stepped in and saved our Malibu classics from the fire irons." Puck and Finn shared a puzzled look. Maybe one day they'd understand coach.
"I wanted to thank you ladies for signing up, so we have a little video that Artie put together." She smiled at the young man in the wheelchair.
The video started and soon everyone was laughing. The girls each had an intro piece, and received applause from the others as their names, "Rowdy Rachel, Maulin' Mercedes, Touchdown Tina, and Lethal Lauren," appeared. The video ran exactly four minutes, as Artie had originally intended, but he looked over to Lauren when he noted a missing shot. She smiled back at him and he began to get nervous. "What other changes had she made?"
He found out when he saw the shot of him reacting to Tina's injury. Tina looked over at Artie and saw him studiously examining the tile floor. She quickly turned her attention back to the screen.
Fortunately, the rest of the video caught everyone's attention, and they all cheered when Finn scored the winning touchdown and laughed at the closing Rachel shots. A round of applause followed the conclusion of the video.
"I've got lettermen's jackets for each of you," coach said, as she passed out each one. At Finn's suggestion, Rachel's had a small gold star over the M.
"I won't have to borrow yours anymore," Tina said to Mike as she struck a pose. Mike's smile faded just a bit; he liked it when she borrowed his jacket.
"I've also got a jacket for Artie," coach said. The other members applauded as he wheeled forward and put on his jacket, which covered the slushie stains on his shirt.
"Oh," coach said. "One more thing. I posted the video on the school website and emailed your parents so they could see it. Thought they might like to see you in action."
Mercedes and Tina exchanged a look. They were doomed. They had faked their parent's signatures. Mercedes checked her phone. Yep, her parents had already left a text, "You are in so much trouble young lady."
"Thanks coach," Will said. "Okay guys, we need to get started. Rachel, I think you have something to show us?"
Rachel smiled and suggested they go to the auditorium.
She positioned everyone and said, "Okay, here's what I want for the finale." She paused, hoping this wouldn't be too awkward. "Quinn, could you or Santana ask the guy Cheerios if one of them could join us, just to stand and dance for the number?"
"Why don't we just let Artie sing beside me" Quinn asked.
"It's a symmetry thing," Rachel explained. "Artie is too short in his chair. We can't see him behind me and it would be distracting to the audience. It would look like you don't have a partner."
"But Artie's one of our best singers," Quinn persisted.
"And he'll be on stage with the band," Rachel said, not seeing the problem. "And let's face it, dancing isn't something he can do and our one advantage over the Warblers during Sectionals was our choreography."
The others looked over at Artie, sitting in his chair off to the side of the stage. "She's right," he shrugged, not wanting to make a scene.
"This isn't cool," Puck said.
Brittany frowned and looked over to Santana. "Listen dwarf," the Latina said, "You're just afraid someone might take their eyes off of you for one second and see him. You're pathetic." It took seconds for things to descend into an argument and Rachel stormed off.
"So much for team unity," Will sighed.
By the next morning, it seemed everyone at the high school had seen the video. Lauren lost count of how many times she was called "Lethal."
Tina met Mercedes in front of her locker. "How long?" She asked.
"I'm grounded for three weeks and I have to make a formal apology to my parents at church this Sunday," Mercedes answered. "How about you?"
"Grounded till prom unless it's a school function," Tina sighed. "At least I can still do glee club."
"Same here," Mercedes said. "Speaking of, I was thinking about my number today. I hate to say it, but I like Rachel's idea about the dancers."
"What about Artie?" Tina asked.
"Please, like I'd stick my boy in a corner. He'll be up there with you if you want. Or we can give him to Quinn."
"I'd like him for a partner," Tina said. They'd always been friends and since Artie had been dating Brittany they'd regained some of their closeness. She noticed the look on Mercedes' face and quickly added, "I've danced with him a lot, it'll be easier for him."
"Right," Mercedes agreed with a smirk.
Tina ignored her friend's innuendo. "You know, last year I thought of this move where Artie turned his chair and I jumped over his knees. We could be doing that while Mike does an old-school breakdance spin and Brittany jumps over Mike's knees."
"That would be a pretty high jump for you. Maybe we should let Brittany…"
"I can do it," Tina insisted, ignoring another smirk from Mercedes.
Finn was standing by his locker waiting for Quinn when he saw Rachel. She was wearing her lettermen's jacket, which was decorated with dozens of iron-on gold stars.
"Rachel," he hissed, trying to keep from attracting attention as he dropped his jacket over hers.
"What's wrong?" she asked, not understanding his behavior. "Is he trying to get back together with me?" she wondered, allowing her body to lean into his.
"You don't put stuff on a lettermen's jacket," he quietly tried to explain. "If the guys on the football team see it, it'll be like you're making fun of them."
"Oh, so I should be worried about offending the guys who drove Kurt away and harass us on a daily basis." She shrugged off his jacket and elbowed him away from her.
"Yes," Finn said. "If you want to keep things from getting worse."
"Well, things will get better after today, regardless," she breezed.
"Why"
"Because I got a call from the local news last night. Since I'm the star of glee club as well as the video, they want to interview me…and maybe the other girls," she added as an afterthought. They're dropping by after school and with luck the interview will be on the news tonight. This will be the first of many interviews I'll have in my career, so I need to be ready. They might show it years from now during my lifetime achievement award." Finn sighed, he knew that look; she was already lost in her dreams. He only hoped none of the other football players saw…and here's Karofsky.
The burly footballer took one look at Rachel's jacket and pushed Finn and Rachel into the lockers. "What are you guys thinking," Karofsky yelled. Fortunately Puck and Sam were around and were able to break up the fight. The bell rang and Finn went to class, still hearing Karofsky grumble.
During the last class of the day, Karofsky was in French and one of the hockey players came up to him after the bell. "Saw the football video last night," he snickered.
"Yeah," Karofsky muttered as he gathered his books.
"Last year you had a gay kid on the team and this year it's a wheelchair kid, little girls and halftime shows," mullet #3 noted.
"We won the championship."
"Nobody's gonna remember that. They're just going to remember a bunch of girls falling down and you guys dancing around like idiots. Maybe you should sew stars on your lettermen's jacket, too."
"At least we'll be remembered for something. And none of us are taking French so we can try to sound Canadian." He shoved the guy, then noticed there were three other hockey players still hanging around.
"Oh, you're getting mad. I better watch out or you might start singing us show tune. Maybe we should just kiss and make up," he laughed as he and the other hockey guys left the classroom. Karofsky was shaking from anger. He closed the door trying to calm down.
Artie was wearing his lettermen's jacket as he waited for Brittany to come by his locker so they could go to glee club practice. She and Santana walked up to him and he could see his girlfriend was upset.
"I lost my keys," she said.
Artie tried to calm her. "Okay, we know you had them this morning,"
"Why?" she asked.
"You drove me to school," Artie reminded her. "So, do you remember seeing them anywhere?"
"I think I had them in biology at fourth period." She replied.
"That's a start," Artie said. "You guys check the bathrooms and I'll go upstairs to the biology lab."
Santana smiled at Artie. "I have a spare set of her keys at home if we need them," she said.
"Good to know," Artie replied. "I'll have to do that. Be right back," he assured Brittany as he rolled to the handicapped elevator.
Artie looked around the biology lab and saw a set of keys on the front desk. "Yes!" he celebrated. They were Brittany's; the tell-tale pink "B" charm confirmed it. He turned and wheeled out of class
Karofsky had just pulled himself together and opened the door when he saw wheelchair kid rolling down the hall to the handicapped elevator. In a football player's lettermen's jacket. The same guy who was wearing a duck sweater yesterday. These glee idiots had ruined the one thing he'd been working for all year. It was so unfair. He literally saw red as he ran forward and without thinking pushed Artie from the lift to the stairwell and launched him downward. Artie's head hit the cement wall and blood splattered against the wall as he and the chair clattered down the stairs.