Hello everybody!
After counts with her fingers and gasps almost 5 months of posting something here I'm back. I know it's a long time but you know: life happens. In such a short period of time my life made a 180 degrees turn and I couldn't(and sometimes didn't want to) find the time to sit down and write.
But it is really a long story and if I start telling you everything you would either die of boredom or kill me so let's forget it, I'm back!
While chapter 7 of 'Give me Tonight' is being finished (I haven't forgotten about it) I decided to write this short one-shot. I can't tell you about the pairing without giving away the plot, you will have to read and see for yourselves.
Warnings: Yaoi! Adult themes but not too graphic; angst; an my horrible English :P
The sad, sad reality: I do not own Saint Seiya or any of it's characters, they belong to Masami Kurumada & Toei
"Blah" talking
And now, on with the show.
Shadows of the Night
By Soul of Emerald
A faint moan escapes my parted lips.
I can only imagine the many forms our shadows, born by the silver moonlight filtering through the window, create over the wall. I only need to turn my head a fraction to the right to see the dance being displayed on the wall, an accurate imitation of what we were doing right now.
But I don't want to.
I don't want to turn my head and see those shadows mocking me, mocking us, mocking this moment.
I just don't want to see… when it's easier to lock my eyes with yours and pretend.
Pretend those shadows don't exist, pretend that the moonlight is wrapping us in her silvery embrace, pretend that you're actually here with me.
A particularly hard thrust sends chills up my spine and this time a pleased gasp fills the air around us. And there, just barely but still there, is a small smile in your lips. Or is it a smirk? It is difficult to tell when all those shadows are playing over your face.
Your movements speed and the force of your thrusts increases aiming for that same post that has me gasping and clutching desperately to you. Self satisfaction is shining in your deep blue eyes and I cannot blame you, you have every right to be. You're simply amazing. You are… This is…
This is…
And then again I can see those shadows moving at the same rhythm we have set.
I don't want to see. I want to get back to this.
I want to get back at pretending.
Never in my whole life would I have imagined I'd be good at something apart from fighting. But now I guess pretending is another thing I excel at.
Now not only are your movements getting frantic but so is my heartbeat. I'm getting close, oh so close it almost hurts. Please Athena, let me reach for that place, that bright light that will guide me home…
…that will guide me to you.
How long has it been since we last saw each other? Since the last time we shared a meaningful glance that spoke more than a thousand words? Hours, days… months?
But it does not matter now because you're right here with me, by me, in me. Your long dark hair falls all over your back and over me, cocooning us from that silvery moonlight as we both try to get to that place.
I can tell you're also close to reach it. The way your jaw tenses, that tiny flicker of lust behind your eyes seconds before you close them. I know all these because I know you so well. Or at least that's what I pretend.
And it's in that moment, when I finally reach that bright light that everything comes crashing down on me.
It's in that moment when the shadows playing over the wall and over your face morph into the face of another… into your real face… the face I did not want to see.
But still I cannot stop the bitter tears from escaping my eyes, I cannot help but call out your name and wishing it was you here with me, inside me, completing me.
"…Camus…"
Your eyes shot open as you hear my voice calling out for him and a sad, longing look takes over you but it fades just as quickly as it appeared as you thrust almost brutally now in order to reach your orgasm as well.
I know I should tell you to stop because it hurts, oh by Athena it hurts so much, but not as much as the pain that's filling my heart.
You have the right to be angry, even mad at me, after all I'm using you by pretending is someone else's touch you're giving me, so that's why I let you use my body to find your release as I finally let my head turn to the side and lock my eyes with the shadows on the wall.
And there they are, just as I imagined. Mocking us, mocking this… mocking me.
More tears run down my face as I watch the shadow throw his head back at the same time you spill your essence in me.
Mere moments later I feel your body pressing me down as your shallow breathing ghosts over my ear, but I don't mind, actually I don't mind at all. If it weren't for that pressure I think I could die. Just like the shadows.
Exhaustion is quickly winning over my mind and body.
Vaguely I register you pulling out of me and getting off the bed to Athena knows where. Maybe the bathroom, the kitchen, I don't know and I don't care. Because you're not here with me… because you have left me.
I hear the sound of water running and I can't help but feel guilty for my actions.
Still I will continue to pretend, because it's easy for me and for you. I can only hope one day you can forgive me for all of this. I never wanted to use you, but this way is easier for me so that's why I will keep on pretending.
"Forgive me… Milo…"
Standing here, over the window bathed in the silvery moonlight I watch you sleep.
I can only guess you're having a nightmare but by the way you're trashing I know I'm right. I also know what is that you're dreaming.
As I watch you there, I can't help but smile, a smile that cannot reach my eyes.
Poor foolish boy, do you actually think I do not know what you're thinking, what you are doing… what you are pretending? I have known your true intentions since the first time you came to me with a proposal I simply could not refuse, for I have been searching for the same thing you were.
I quickly scan the land before my very eyes. A painful, longing look overshadowing their blue colour.
How long has it been since we shared this?
I really don't know.
Actually I do know. I know exactly how many seconds have passed but I refuse to acknowledge it. It is too painful, even more so than it already is.
A pained moan comes from the bed and I again find myself looking over your sleeping form.
If you think you're good at pretending then I'm better.
When you come to me, offering your body to me, when I have your lithe form shaking in pleasure under mine I cannot help but pretend those light blue eyes of yours are actually two shades deeper. That your shaggy blond hair is actually an endless mane of the deepest dark green colour I have ever seen.
When you call out for him… in my heart… I cannot help but call out for him as well.
This makes me no proud. I feel bad. I feel bad with myself for allowing this to happen, for allowing this to continue.
But every time you chose to continue pretending…
…and I cannot help but chose that too.
I slowly make my way back to bed and try to be as gentle as possible as I lay down, I don't want to wake you up for if you do pretending will be hard.
Giving a last glance to him I close my eyes and lock away my guilt, praying that you will forgive one day for my weakness, for using someone you held dear for my own selfish benefit. And I also pray that you will be able to forgive me for keeping on pretending.
"I'm sorry… Hyoga…"
So how was it?
Angsty, isn't it? This fic is set somewhere after the Sanctuary saga and before the Hades saga. I guess it was a way for me to let go of some feelings I have been holding that were making me no good and so that's how this story was born.
I don't know why I'm so evil with those two because I actually love them very much. I guess that's the twisted way my mind works :S
Well, I would really appreciate if you take a minute or even less of your time to leave me a review, constructive criticism is always welcome, but flames are just a waste of time not just for me but for the flamer as well.
Thanks for reading!
Soul of Emerald.-