When Time Is On Your Side
Looking to his side at the digital alarm clock on the wooden chestier drawers, the time was clearly on his side this time. As he expected it to be much later, though it was earlier. Earlier enough to spend a good number of hours watching his boyfriend Brendan Brady sleep. Steven Hay went on his side; he was surprised that he was in the same bed with him. After everything he done to him and he dose not mean this week alone. They went to bed and slept only, no intercourse happened. It was too early, and he still has not forgiven him yet. Brendan told him everything he needs to know. Told him almost everything about his history with Simon Walker. Told him about meeting in prison, told him that Walker helped him when Joel Dexter got stabbed. Told him about them kissing, which Steven hated. Brendan kissed the man who tried to kill him, though it was way before. It was hard for Brendan to admit all those things to the man he loved.
He was scared of rejection; he could not take that from him, not now. Brendan told him about other things, like some stuff that happened when he and Cheryl Brady went to Southport. About his grandmother Florence Brady knowing all along that his father Seamus Brady abusing him, though he never mentioned how far the abuse went. Brendan has not forgiven his father by any means. Just he saying sorry calmed him down and when he saw the two people he loves. His father almost disappeared, so he has not forgiven him, he just dose not want anything to do with him. Brendan even had the nerve to tell him about killing Mick or so he thought. Steven was devastated by it all, really. Though he knew he killed Danny Houston, Mick was just another pawn. Brendan says he has put all that behind him and Steven only half-believes him. Though the thing that bothered him the most was the fact he and Walker had intercourse. He may have murdered somebody else and that would bother most people more then sleeping with somebody while they were not even together. Though this was not a normal relationship, it was toxic, yet it was fragile.
The thought of Walkers body on top of Brendan's was just sickening for him to think of. The thought of Walker moving all his filthy hands around him and then some. It tipped him right of the edge, not to mention the fact Brendan consented. Why would anyone want to touch Walker like that? Steve tried to shake it of by wrapping his arms around Brendan himself, kissing his neck though that plan failed as thoughts were still carved into his mind. Brendan was still sleeping like a log, he is a deep sleeper. Steven held onto his hand, with blood still on Brendan's hand. He suckles the blood almost, until he can't see anymore. He keeps tossing and turning as sleep never came, with all his thoughts and angst piled up. He lifts the pillow under him up, he chucks it across the room, and Brendan finally wakes up when the pillow makes the lamp fall of.
"What is wrong with you?" Brendan asks, as he sees the smashed glass scattered across the floor.
"You, you" Steven hisses, moving away from him.
"Steven, I thought we were okay; you went to bed with me" Brendan replies, a little muddled.
"I love you, but I can't be with you" Steven tells him, he can be with him though not like this.
"What are you saying?" Brendan asks nervously
"You slept with Walker that makes me sick" Steven snarls.
"Oh yeah cause you sleeping with Douglass makes me happy? Brendan debates back, though he dose not want to argue tonight but Steven basically left him with no choice.
"He did not try to kill you!" Steven yells back.
"That was before, I never would of done it if I thought you be at risk" Brendan tells him.
"You never know Brendan, do you? You were happily playing your games with Danny until he chucked your toys out the pram then you had to go and kill him; he was probably not even going to kill me, he might of just beat me up and then left!" Steven puts his body out from the blankets.
"Well then, why would I let him beat you up in front of your children; do you really think he would of cared about your kids being there well he beat the shit out of you" Brendan hated arguing with his man, he really did but he had to make him understand.
"Amy would have been there, we could have ringed the police" Steven was cut of.
"Oh yeah, you really think Danny couldn't fight of a woman, Amy would not of been able to rang the police till he beat you up" Brendan was frustrated of discussing something from three years ago.
Steven tutted, he was about to stand up. Though Brendan grabbed onto his arm.
"Stop it" Steven choked, pushing Brendan of.
"Steven, we need to talk" Brendan tells him, as Steven ends up crying. His tears were dripping down like rain while the sun is still up.
"No, come here" Brendan puts his arms out; he could see Steven giving up as he got back into bed and moved into his arms. Letting Brendan hold him as he cried, all he could hear was Brendan hushing him.
"Please, don't stop holding me" Steven whimpers, he feels Brendan gripping him tighter.
"Never"