Loving you is not Okay

Summary: The world had been plunged into chaos due to Voldemort's return. Scrimgeour (not Slug horn - sorry guys!!) goes nuts and thinks he can beat Voldemort himself and decrees anyone he deems "unfit" to fight will be executed or sent away until further notice. (aka. Azkaban) Harry is practically powerless.

Warnings: Femmeslash AU drabble shorntess
notes: Dumbledore is alive - Sirius is alive - Bill and Fleur never got engaged (man I love being an author haha)

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

UPDATE: I ACCIDENTALLY UPLOADED THE UN-EDITED MESSY VERSION BLAH! All italics are somewhat like flashbacks. They are little stories in Hermione's mind.

Hermione's POV

I remember as a child my Aunt marrying another woman. The government had just passed a law that let everyone marry whoever they wanted. The happiness on everyone's faces that day was unmistakable. No one was scared to be near my aunt and her new wife, no one was disgusted, and no one wanted to see them dead.

My Grandmother showered my new aunt with hugs and kisses, welcoming her to our new family. This day was one of the happiest days of my life. There was no war, there was no worry, and there was no Minister of Magic to threaten the lives of those around me.
It was the happiest day of my life second to only one. It was second to the day I first kissed the love of my life, Fleur Delacour…you. It was an incredibly rainy night, and it wasn't quite dark, but it wasn't quite light out. It was an almost eerie lighting, but everything just glowed. It was almost like being underwater the rain was so heave. You and I were professors at Hogwarts. You were the potions master, and I was the runes professor. Granted you had a bit more work and a higher standing than I, I was happier with my students. One of them reminded me of myself. Alejandra was her name. She even had a time turner to get to all her classes. I told her Divination is a waste of time but she insisted something good could come of that class. She was the only reason I met you. She simply reminded me that even something fantastic can come of something I hated.

At first, in fourth year, I detested you with a raging passion. Lately though, that passion had turned into nervous butterflies. Every teacher's meeting we would share awkward glances. You would blush and quickly look away while I would pretend to be looking at something near you, then fix my hair. Our eyes always found each other. It was after the Halloween festivities planning meeting that our fate was inevitably sealed. As I turned the corner to go to the meeting, you turned the corner leaving. I had missed the meeting apparently. I was busy grading papers. We collided and I dropped everything I was carrying then you landed promptly on top of me. Our legs were entangled as your hair draped like a waterfall over your shoulders. You lifted yourself up and while propping yourself on your hands, said "Je'sui desolee ma cheri" I looked at you and replied "It's quite ok… I suppose I missed the meeting." I was fully aware we were still on top of each other and I had no intention of moving. Something felt right. The warmth of your body spread throughout every inch of me. Your deep blue eyes bore into my soul. As when you spoke your language, I watched your lips move in a flowing motion that made them that much more enticing. It was then I realized why I was so nervous around you. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.

"Excuse me, professors?" Came a voice. I gasped as we gathered ourselves and stood. It was Alejandra. "Sorry to…interupt but I didn't want any one else seeing. We all know how rumours start in this school."
"Ah.. Yes…thank you Alejandra. Sorry." You smiled.
"Your secret is safe with me." she said as she turned and walked back down the hallway. "What does she mean secret?" You inquired. "I dunno," I said replying to you about Alejandra's comment, even though I knew perfectly well what she meant. I was alone with you again. We had an awkward moment where we simply stared at each other, then you finally broke this pause with a smile. A beautiful, cliché million watt smile.
"Sorry to have bumped into you like that." I said
"It is quite all right 'ermione. Perhaps we could, 'ow you say, 'bump into each over tonight for dinner." I smiled at your offer. Or perhaps it was your accent. Or perhaps the fact you were asking me to dinner. "I would love to."
"Let's meet in 'ogsmead zen. Tonight at five at Madame Rosmerta's"
"Sound ace."
"Ace?" You asked.
"Oh, sorry, it means cool, or good."
"Oui, my English is not perfect yet, I am trying, it iz the small slang terms that I do not understand still."

"It's ok. My French isn't exactly great."
"You speak French?"

"No, that's why its not great." We both laughed. "Okay then, I have more papers to grade." I said finally collecting the papers I had dropped on the floor. "I will see you tonight at five then?"
"Five sharp!" You smiled one last time and gave me a hug. It felt so damn good. Your body was slender and strong. I couldn't help but think what was underneath your robes. I cursed myself for thinking such things when you were simply hugging me. As you turned the corner I leaned against the wall and slid down it. I sat for a few moments by myself. The halls of Hogwarts had always comforted me. Was I gay? Was this ok? Was I falling in love? Yes, Yes, and Yes.

That was our first official meeting. Before that we never really talked. It was simply business. That night at dinner, it had begun to rain. I remember Dumbledore warning us before we left a storm was due in and if it got too bad we may not be able to get back to the castle. That night had turned out to be the best one of my life. We made it back to the castle, but it took a while. It was before heading back that you kissed me and told me you loved me since fourth year, the first time you ever laid eyes on me.

"Bonjour 'ermione!" You called to me as I entered the tavern. You were seated at the bar. "Our table is over this way. I was getting us drinks while I waited. I assume you like wine?"
"Yes I do, very much so actually. I never liked it as a teenager but now it's, well yea, I like it." I said awkwardly. Way to talk smoothly, Hermione.
"I know 'ow you feel. Mama and Papa always insisted I had a glass with my dinner but I never liked it. I feel so grown-up now when I drink it. Even though I am grown-up, it's strange to feel that way oui?"
"Exactly how I meant to say it." You smiled. As we both sat down you asked me what I was planning on eating. I hadn't thought that far. Should I order a salad? I didn't know. I didn't want to look like a pig. " Ma cheri, I will order for us. Trust me. I am a very good judge of tastes. And if I am wrong, I will cover the entire bill."

"Fleu-"
"Non, I insist." I succeeded. "Now, Dumbledore said a horrible storm is coming in. I fancy the rain though."
"Yea, I love the rain too. Something about it is so relaxing."

"I remember I used to turn everything in the house off and simply listen for every drop to hit the roof. I always felt safe when it poured. I can only remember one large storm though. I never really rained hard, like the way I prefer it to."

"It rained liked that all the time where I grew up. I always feel at home when it rains." It was then our wine arrived and the waiter asked for what we were having. You ordered yourself a steak-tip meal with asparagus and a salad to start. You then ordered me a type of chicken stuffed with feta that I had never tried with broccoli and a salad to start also. " 'ermione you mean to tell me you 'ave never had feta chicken! This is absurd! You will love it I promise." And I did. I loved every bit of it. It was the greatest meal I had ever eaten and you picked it out for me on our first meeting. It was like you knew me all my life. It was during coffee after we had eaten that the rain had started to come down. "Listen 'ermione!" you smiled excitedly, pausing and closing your eyes to hear the drops hit. You looked so serene. You slowly opened your eyes to say, "Let's pay and walk back in the rain. Please?" The look in your eyes was irresistible. The fire's glow hit your eyes in all the right angles and made them look like sapphires for the taking. " I was thinking the same thing." We left the restaurant and buckets of rain fell upon us. It was like being in the lake. You grabbed my hand and a bolt of electricity shot through my body and I smiled. You looked at me but there was no smile like there was on my face. My smile turned into a look of curiosity. You were completely serious, but in a concerning, needing way. The fire from Madame Rosmerta's glistened again in your eyes and played softly upon your skin. You took my other hand in yours. " 'ermione I have ssomething I want to tell you." you said softly, rain falling down your face. You were beautiful. " I-I love you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you." She looked away from me, as if ashamed. I felt shocked, but in a good way. I smiled at this. You telling me this was the best news I had ever received. At that I squeezed your hands as if to say ' I know, and it's ok.' You looked at me with hopeful eyes, smiled, leaned in ever so slowly. Before your lips hit mine you paused and looked me in the eye as if asking me one more time if it was ok for us to be loving each other. Yes, it most certainly was. It felt so right. Something that made sense to me so well could not be wrong. It was at that moment I fell in love with you. Our lips were millimeters apart and I could feel the rain slide between our lips. I finally closed the gap and kissed you. It was the greatest feeling I had ever experienced. Slowly we moved together as your hands came up to cup my face. Your hands were slender and elegant. I held onto your waist. Everything was perfect at this moment. As we broke apart I leaned my forehead against yours and whispered, "My room or yours?" I had never been so sure of something so quickly. I wanted you it was that simple. You and only you. Something just clicked and I think something clicked with you too. " 'ermione, I would be more than obliged if you would accompany me to my room." I didn't even know where your room was. The only teacher room that I even knew of at all, was mine own. I smiled and kissed you once more before we walked back to the castle hand in hand. It may have been fast but that night we made love until the sun came up. Just before leaving you grabbed me and shut the door. You kissed me passionately to let me know it was no one night stand and you were definitely in love with me. "J'taime" I was attached to you forever in that moment. You were the only one for me and I was the only one for you.

We lived together after that. My room was barely lived in at all. We made love more times than I can remember but sometimes we would just sit in each other's company. I would read and you would draw either me or something in your mind. You were always sketching. You once drew me sleeping. I was completely embarrassed to see how awkwardly I slept, you thought it was beautiful though. Finally, when the school year ended, you asked me to move with you to London to your flat. I obliged. We lived together for three years before the war was under-way in full-swing. Neither of us knew what would become of the situation or our relationship. It was well known the minister hated anyone different than he, besieges muggles. He hated gays, blacks, Muslims, Asians, anyone who was slightly different. We weren't worried in the beginning. It was towards the middle of the war that our desire to marry was shattered.

It was a time that I never want to remember.

TBC - YES I AM WRITING ANOTHER NOT SO ONE CHAPTER STORIES!!

Please, please, please read and review. This story is rather morbid feeling already. I promise it will be sad but happy. And compilations is almost done. Seriously. So please leave a review and chapter two of this will come soon.

It's not going to be a wicked long fic. I'm thinking three chapters of good ness Kind of capturing the before the during and what happens to them.