The snow outside her dorm room window started to fall in thick sheets as the wind blew. Hawke tried to make out the student center across the street and failed. The cold that permeated from the window (that she forgot to seal, even though Aveline her RA had pestered her to…) finally forced her away from her desk and she retreated to her bed.
Hawke spread her long limbs across her small dorm bed. Her feet covered in large woolen socks from her dear friend and roommate Merrill. She lifted her head to stare at the ugly yet comfortable green monstrosities. Shaking her head, she rolled onto her side to stare at the empty side of the room. Merrill went home for Satinalia, leaving her alone for the next two weeks.
Two long, lonely weeks. Not many students stayed on campus, and those who stayed either had no funds to make the trip, or had no family to visit. Hawke fell into the second category for the first time this year.
Blinking back tears, she curled into herself. This was the first year without Bethany and her mother. Bethany had contracted a virus travelling abroad two years before and wasted away before Hawke could make it home from school. Her mother, an even more terrible loss. She finally met a sweet guy on an online dating service, and Hawke had pushed her to pursue it so she wouldn't be alone all the time. Leandra never came home from that first weekend getaway. Hawke buried an empty coffin on her summer vacation.
She picked at the pulled threads on the sleeve of her sweater. She knew it wasn't healthy to sit here alone when the remaining students in the dorm would be in the common room celebrating. She could really use some spiked egg nog, or warm apple cider. She also realized that Aveline would be knocking on her door any minute to pester her into doing just that, so she might as well get the head start and avoid the personal questions.
Hawke sat up and stretched her legs out before setting them on the floor. When she stretched her arms out she froze when small green and red lights started blinking around the room. How did she not notice them before? She pulled her phone out of her pocket, checking the time. 9 pm on the nose. There was an unread message from an unknown number in her notification tray.
You can't be alone on Satinalia kitten.
Hawke felt the tears on her face even though she smiled at the screen. Isabela always knew how to make her feel better.
Isabela started out as a fling her freshman year. Hawke would slip into the local college hangout The Hanged Man in between classes, and slip into Isabela's bed in the apartment above the bar. She couldn't quite nail down when they began this dance; all she remembered was that it started with a smirk, an exchange of shots, a few cheesy pick-up lines, and then there were a mix of pale limbs and brown curves tangled in the sheets.
She didn't know what to call Isabela now. Hawke hadn't gone back to the Hanged Man since summer break. She never invited 'the fling' over to the dorm. Somehow, a quick tousle wasn't enough anymore, and Isabela made it clear before she left for the summer that's all it was. Hawke wanted more, wanted to take her home to meet her mother. Instead, she her summer was spent without either woman in her life.
A knock at the door brought her back to the present. Hawke rolled her eyes as it looked like Aveline had finally made it to her end of the hallway. She approached the door, the blinking lights washing over the room. She reached for the doorknob, turned and pulled.
On the other side was not Aveline, but a tall dark beauty dressed in what could barely pass for a holiday costume. Her long brown hair curled around her shoulders, her body encased in short red dress trimmed in white fur. Isabela leaned against the doorframe with a hand in the air holding a few twigs wrapped in a red ribbon and a look on her face that was borderline predatory.
Hawke's jaw dropped as she looked up at the sad bundle meant to be mistletoe.
"Iz, please tell me you aren't standing here right now, pretending like you haven't see me for months."
Isabela's face dropped. She lowered the sad bundle and looked at the floor, not quite sure where to begin. "You know I don't do the hard stuff, sweet cheeks." Her statement barely made it to Hawke's ears, but the reaction was immediate.
"The hard stuff? That was your excuse for telling me I was nothing but someone to warm up your bed! You wanted to keep it fun, friendly.. cup-CAKE!" Hawke could no longer contain the tears that fell from her eyes, her voice grossly accentuating Izzie's favorite pet name for her. "Well, where the hell was my FRIEND when I needed her? I wasn't asking for happily ever after Iz, but you couldn't even be there for the bare minimum when I needed my FRIEND the most."
When Isabela did nothing but stare with surprise, Hawke turned around to close the door, but it wouldn't shut. That sad excuse for a mating ritual was shoved between the door and the frame, red ribbon sticking out like a white flag. With a sigh, she dropped her hand from the door and walked across the room to collapse face first on her bed once more. The door slowly opened as Isabela sauntered in, closing it behind her.
Hawke peeked over shoulder to watch Isabela approach. The red and green lights washed over all the exposed skin she displayed. Hawke cursed silently as she couldn't help but appreciate the beautiful woman now sitting down beside her. Goosebumps rose under the sleeves of her sweater as Isabela started to gently rub a hand down her back.
"I'm sorry, Hawke, I just.. I didn't know what to say."
"Not off to a strong start Iz…"
Isabela snorted, "It's the truth, Marian."
Hawke lifted her head in confusion. Isabela never called her by her name. She never called anyone by their name. It was 'gorgeous' and 'sweetheart', and even 'cupcake'.
Isabela inhaled evenly and started again, "I was scared. I don't do the whole parents thing, and then when you came home and I found out you had lost your mother… How do I even begin to make that better, Marian?" Her hand moved from Hawke's back to her hair, stroking her short black locks away from her face. "I'm not planning on staying around here after graduation, I want to travel the world, I never intended on settling down and doing the white picket fences… I couldn't afford to get attached..." she trailed off, concentrating on Hawke's face.
Hawke reached to pick at the white fur that covered the top of Izzie's thigh. After a moment's contemplation, she lifted her body to wrap that arm around Izzie's waist and pull her close. She whispered evenly, "Iz, I still have another year here. I have no intention to settle down. I don't even think I want to do the family thing, I've never really known what that is to begin with." She swallowed the knot in her throat as she pulled Izzie's legs close to cuddle her gently. "You did this with the lights didn't you? They would be on constantly if Merrill put them up."
Isabela took Hawke's chin in her hand and offered her a sly grin. "She let me in while you were out finishing your finals. You used to talk about putting up the lights with your sister for Satinalia. I couldn't bear for you to be alone during your favorite holiday, so I tried to cheer you up the best way I knew how."
Isabela leaned forward to brush Hawke's lips lightly with her own. Finding no hesitation, she deepened the kiss.
Hawke reached for the mistletoe bundle at their feet and pulled off the red ribbon. Her arms still wrapped around Isabela, she tied the ribbon snugly on her unadorned arm, where she normally wore a gold band. "Izzie, you mean the world to me, and I never want you to feel tied down," she smirked as she pulled at the red bed she just finished tying.
Isabela groaned at the ridiculous pun, "Cupcake, that one wasn't even clever." She nipped Hawke's shoulder, Now, let's get our evening back on track, I have pretty, silky things under this dress to show you haven't seen yet."
Hawke grinned at the invitation and reached for the dress. The holiday break wouldn't be so lonely after all.