Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who
favour fire.But if it had to perish twice,I think I know
enough of hate, to say that for destruction ice. . . is also
great, and would suffice.
— "Fire and Ice," by Robert Frost.
It's when you stare at yourself in the mirror and no longer recognise the person staring back at you, that you know you've changed beyond repair. That no matter how hard you try or what you do, you'd never be able to go back to that person you once were. That person that you didn't hate so much.
There's a clarity in knowing that. In acknowledging it.
Everyone is flawed.
Beatrice Prior knows this now.
But some, are more flawed than others.
She, was more flawed than any other person Tris knew. Even Eric, who she hated above all things. Most of the time, she just stands there, looking out the small square window in her cell, watching the city she couldn't control carrying on without her, better than it had been before, despite the changes that Evelyn had made once she had risen to power. Jeanine Matthews was smart enough to know that she had been defeated. It was clear in the way that she held herself, the way that she sat there, not saying or doing anything, just waiting for what she knew was to come.
And Tris knew, too.
Someone was going to kill her. Whether it was Evelyn, Tori, or even Four or anyone else that had been hurt by Jeanine and her actions. But Tris... had no wishes to kill Jeanine, and this surprised her. Which was why she'd watch her over the monitor screen for hours on end.
It had only been a week since everything had happened, and she's sure no one had tried anything because after Evelyn had prohibited everyone from leaving out the gate, she had been camping out here. "Watching the prisoners," when she only had interest in watching Jeanine.
The roles had seemed to have reversed.
She was the one standing on the other side of the glass wall, but Jeanine couldn't see her. Mainly because Tris didn't want her to. Four kept asking her what she wanted to do to Jeanine, and she knew that he meant that if Tris wanted to kill her herself, he would help. But Tris never gave him a straight answer because the truth was, she simply didn't know. She had no idea.
But she knew that she had to do something, soon. Because they weren't going to wait much longer before executing Jeanine.
Not that she didn't deserve it but...
She jumped in her chair when she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning around to find Cristina standing behind her with a small smile on her lips. "Hey. Four told me you'd be up here, on Jeanine duty." Her dark eyes moved to the monitor and she frowned, leaning forward, towards the screen. "What the hell is she doing?" Tris' eyes moved to the monitor as well, and she couldn't help a small smile.
"I don't know. Plotting world domination again. Or just thinking of different ways to kill herself before someone else gets to her."
That was her poor attempt at humour, and despite her laugh, she knew Cristina didn't really buy it. A moment of silence followed, and she heard the scratching of metal against the floor as Cristina pulled up a chair besides Tris, and she sat up straighter, clearing her throat as she ran a hand through her short blonde hair, turning to smile at her friend. Who she could still see hadn't fully forgiven her for Will's death. Just as Tris, hadn't fully forgiven herself.
"What are you really doing here, Tris? What is your... obsession with her? We're all worried. Especially Four."
Tris sighed. Of course her boyfriend would be worried about her. She barely ate or slept, and most of the time that she had she spent up here. She'd be worried, if she were Four, as well. But Tris didn't have any solid answer or explanation to give him, or anyone. She just... didn't know, why it was so important to keep watch on Jeanine, why she didn't want her to be killed.
"Honestly? I have no idea, Cristina. I just know that... actually, I don't know anything. When I figure it out, you'll be the first one to know. Well, the second," she smiled, and Cristina seemed somewhat satisfied for now, nodding her head and patting her shoulder before standing up. "Come on, then. Everyone's eating downstairs. Actual food, not this bullshit balanced diet crap they have here at Erudite."
Tris eyes moved to the screen, and Jeanine had moved to sit down on her bed, staring at the wall. She wasn't going to go anywhere, so after thinking over it, biting her lower lip, and hearing her stomach growl once, she got up and followed Cristina outside the door, hearing to her babble on and on about everything that was going on that Tris apparently was really not keeping up with. Not that she didn't care or wasn't interested, but she had other things on her mind. Other... blue and blonde things. But she wouldn't dare voice these thoughts even to Cristina, who she now deemed her best friend, despite everything that had happened... despite Tris being forced to kill her best friend's boyfriend.
As they reached the canteen on the lower floor, she saw Four, Tori and a few of the others sat at the end of the huge table they had placed on the spacious room. The benches were filled with people, eating, drinking, laughing, much like what she used to say back at Dauntless, and she smiled, because half of the population now occupying Erudite were Dauntless. The other half were Factionless, although she assumes they weren't called that any more. Factions didn't exist, any more. The whole system went down with Jeanine.
She took a seat by Four's side, and Cristina sat next to her. "You okay?" Four looked at her with that intense gaze of his, and Tris nodded her head, offering him an easy smile. She always felt naked under his eyes, like he could see inside of her, but she decided to not say anything else. She didn't want to have another heated discussion over what her next course of action could be.
No, now, Tris just wanted to eat some good food and talk with her friends.
Forget about things, for a while. And things, she meant Jeanine. Because she had learned to live with... everything else, that had plagued her. She knew that she did the best she could, and her parent's death weren't totally her fault, and even if she had shot Will, his death was... an accident. A tragedy of what had happened. He was under the serum, and he was shooting at her and her mother. What else could she have done? But these things... they didn't bother her the way they did a month ago. She's no as tortured as she was. But that doesn't mean she's healed, or whole. She could pretend to be, at least for now, not to worry her friends and loved ones.
The only family she had left was Caleb, and she made sure that Evelyn wouldn't kill him. She talked to Four about it, and they had a plan to get Caleb out and leave Chicago to go see what was waiting for them beyond the Wall. But not yet. It wasn't the right time, yet. They were going to wait until the trials began.
"Any news? On anything?" She looked around the table, or their small circle of people, taking a small bite from the burger in front of her.
For the first time in what felt like forever, Tris actually had a nice meal.
She succeeded in distracting her mind from Jeanine and everything once for the hour she had spent eating and talking to her friends... she almost felt normal in that hour.
But of course, Tris Prior and normal don't go together.
As she and Four were returning up to the control room, she saw guards running up to where the cells were. She and Four exchanged a look, before the both of them jogged to catch up. Evelyn was talking to Bryan at the door of Jeanine's cell, which was... open. Her heart stopped beating for a moment, her hand resting against the wall. She must have gone pale because the whole world flipped upside down.
Four reached to grab her arm, looking worriedly at her. "Tris? Tris! Are you okay?"
Looking to meet his dark eyes, slowly, she felt air coming into her lungs again, and she nodded her head weakly, grabbing hold of Four's strong arm to balance herself. Four wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her to where Evelyn was with the others, and just as she had suspected, Jeanine's cell was empty. All that was left was the ugly dress they had made her wear, draped very meticulously over her bed.
Four started asking Evelyn questions, but Tris didn't listen. She let go of Four and walked towards the cell, reaching to grab Jeanine's dress with both hands. Her eyes shut for a minute and she could almost see her pacing in her room, impatient. Day after day. Who knows what ever went on inside that brain of hers?
The smartest person in Chicago... did they really think they could keep her here forever? No. Evelyn had to be smarter than that.
Or maybe she just underestimated Jeanine.
But Tris? Tris never head. Which was why she spent her time watching over her.
She turned to Evelyn and Four, who were both looking at her with a funny look on their faces. "She's had help from someone from the inside. They knew I was gone. They... do you trust everyone that works for you?" The question was directed at Evelyn as she walked past her and Four, and even if Four kept calling her name, she kept walking straight forward with Jeanine's dress still in her hands.
No matter what, she had to find her. The good thing was... she already had an idea of where she was.
If anyone was going to get their hands on Jeanine after this, it definitely was going to be her. Not Evelyn, not any of her bloodthirsty, brainwashed men. No. It was going to be her, and she was going to get the justice she wanted to have so badly... just how she was going to have that, though? That was... that was the mystery. But that didn't matter, she was going to find a way. She was, after all, one hundred percent Divergent. She has a little bit of everyone inside of her, doesn't she? This would be useful, now. She had to be smart like an Erudite, agile like a Dauntless. And well... Candor wasn't going to be on the list.
Tris packed a bag with supplies and weapons, got her gear ready, and left it all in a closet no one used, locking the door and shoving the key inside her bra, as she went by her day as normally as she could. She had dinner with Four and the others, pretended everything was fine and even back to bed with Four. She laid down next to him, let him hold her as her mind raced and raced and raced...
And when Four was fast asleep, she slipped away, off the bed, grabbed her shoes, and dressed to leave. She stopped at the door, turned to watch the rise and fall of his chest as he slept peacefully on the bed, his arm still draped over the now empty space of her on the bed.
Her heart ached, of course it did.
This was the second time she left him like this, in the middle of the night, without any sort of explanation. But this was only because she knew that he wouldn't understand, she knew that he would try to stop her, or come with her. And she couldn't have any of these things. She had to do this by herself. She has to find Jeanine and punish her, by herself. Whatever this... rivalry between the two of them meant, she had to carry it out before it ate her up.
She grabbed her gear, put it on, secured her bag on her chest and arms, and left the building. It was surprisingly easy to sneak out one of the lower floor windows and climb down; she wasn't afraid of heights. She wasn't afraid of anything any more, not even dying.
Once her feet were on the ground, though, it was harder to hide. The guards surrounding Erudite seemed to be a lot more aware than the ones inside.
Smart of them, maybe.
In the time she had spent in the control room, she had gone through files and files, studied things about Erudite. They had been working on this prototype. A motorbike, as she had read it. She had seen it before on History books, about the way the world was before. They were considered dangerous, but fast. Tris saw this prototype for something that was a bike, only it floated above ground. It was fast, fast than the cars and the vehicles the Dauntless used for surveillance. It made moving through the ruined city a lot faster, and smoother. They were silent, the motor was designed to not produce any sort of sound, and the lack of wheels helped in the regard, too.
Tris knew where the prototype was kept, and she had to sneak in the garage. That was easier than she imagined.
Passing the car she had stolen from Evelyn earlier, she rolled inside of the room and the lights turned on. It was a huge warehouse type of room, with all sorts of things displayed. From different looking cars to weapons and clothes. She was studying a gun and head gear as a robotic female voice greeting her: "Welcome, Evelyn Eaton. What would you like to see this evening?"
Tris stared at the walls, looking for a hologram or a speaker or anything... she cleared her throat, and tried to imitate Evelyn's voice as best as she could.
"Prototype 12460."
Suddenly, two trap doors on the floor slid open and a platform started to rise, and on top of the platform, stood three motorbikes. They didn't have a name yet. But they were beautiful. One was red, the other was blue, and the other was black. They were sleek looking, with beautiful handles. They looked sleek, and light, and Tris already fell in love with the black one. She reached to touch it. The metal felt smooth and cold against her fingertips.
"Is this prototype ready for use?"
The computer replied: "Prototype has not yet been tested outside, but lab tests have all proven successful. Would you like me to tell you how to run it, Evelyn Eaton?"
Tris nodded her head, and climbed on top of the bike before grabbing two guns, as much ammo as she could fit inside her bag, and the head gear. One that helped her see in the dark, and the other one helped her vision. "Let's see how this runs."
A while spent in the room learning how the bike worked, and she got the hang of it, despite not knowing how to drive even a car. It was like... riding a bicycle. But... deadlier. "Open the door," she gave the command to the computer through the monitor on the glasses surrounding the handle of the bike. There was a little screen of commands and controls on the upper part where she half leaned, the seat was incredibly comfortable, and the handles controlled speed, landing, and there were a few other things, too. A shield of protection and guns that slid out from a compartment at the front of rear. It was incredible.
The door opened, and as the guards started to notice it, she was already speeding past them, five feet off the ground and going twice as fast as the train did. She let out an excited scream as she felt the wind against her face, raising one hand up in the air before she disappeared from their camp of vision, entering one of the dark streets. Lights were out, and it was just her and... whatever lurked at the corners of Chicago at night.
Part of her had no idea where to go, but...
If she was Jeanine, and if she was running from people who were dumber than her, she would go exactly where they would look for her first, because they'd think she'd be too smart to go there, and they'd go look elsewhere. By the time they'd realise that, she'd already be somewhere secure.
Her instinct, as well as her brain, told her where Jeanine would be.
"Take me to Abnegation." She spoke to the computer, and it showed a path, as well as give her directions on how to get home.
A/N: I re-watched Insurgent this afternoon and got this idea in my head and I couldn't not do something about it! Especially because I haven't updated inconclusive O and for that I am sorry, dear readers. I SUCK. But anyhow! I will try to work on those very soon, I promise. Hopefully working on this new fic will inspire me!
Please feel free to come chat to me on Twitter: stagwithin or Tumblr: stagwithin! And please, comment below. I'd love to hear what you lot think about this one.