I Could Almost Swear…
Four Seasons of Sadness …
There are times that I can help but think about him. I just can't stop … Sora. When the spring comes and it's warm enough for my naked feet to touch the sidewalk, we all remember, right? It seems like the warmth melts away the winter months of things forgotten, don't you think?
It's been about two years now, and for the first time in a while, I can hear his voice. It's like he's been heavy on my heart for these past days and because of that … I admit it, I've been depressed. But, it feels like every season, there's a new reason behind my sadness, you know? Like … something different triggers different feelings or memories that lead me back to him.
Summers are the worst of them all. That's when he died. Sometimes I go to our usual spot, the small island where we used to play and just lay there. Stare at the stars. I wonder if he's up there and if he sees me. I listen to the waves and as my thought buzz as the mosquitoes do. My eyes close and I smell the usual of sea salt and, for a moment, all goes still. I can hear him whisper "Don't forget me, But don't dwell we'll see each other again, promise!" and I wonder if it was actuality him … or did I just imagine it to make me feel like he's with me now. From there I can smell the scents of him … he kinda smells like laundry detergent and vanilla. Then my eyes open and I can almost swear that I saw him in the skies. I laugh a bit "I miss you" … and for the first time in my existence, my tear ducts realize that they've slacked off for the past 18 years and do their job.
Fall is the begging of the new school year. Yea. This is the time where what he said to me when he was still alive affects me the most. Everyday Sora would call me at 5:05 a.m and say "WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!!" hmn … those first few weeks of his death; I actually stayed up all night waiting for him to call. Now, I wake up at exactly 5:04 instinctively. Hoping that the phone will ring, which it never does and probably never will. But "wishful thinking" … Right?"
These two years, I feel like I began to mimic him, and when people say "Hey, you know that guy, Sora was it? You've become a lot like him." I laugh and grin, but really, I mean to be like that, I want them to say that. It makes me happy to know that people still remember him. Now, it's when people don't member, that bothers me.
Also, I get in quite the number of fights with my already enemies because they throw in things into the already heated words. "Where's your friend, hmn?" Now is it really my fault for sending thing to the hospital?
Most of the people in school stay away from me now, except for a small small circle of friends. Kairi, who got so bad that we decided to have Namine to take away her memories, that girl was almost near suicide. Actually, if I was asked if I wasn't the least bit upset about that and if for some odd reason I said no… I'd be a liar. Not that I don't care for Kairi, but I think … somehow, someway, she could have remembered something about him. I mean … we're all living with the pain of it … so why can't she. Was she in love with him?
Then there's Tidus , Sora's brother, who started hanging out with me a lot since Sora left. I guess it makes him feel like there are some pieces of his brother still left in me, as I do with him. Then there's Axel, who laughs and jokes to take the pain away for every one…including himself.
During the winter … I suddenly get depressed for a number of reasons. My mom has me for the rest of the year and, even though she doesn't try to, that house is a constant reminder of what it was like to be with him. You see, my parents are divorced now and my mom got to keep the old house. The house Sora and I used to play in and get kicked out of for playing too hard in. With my mom, she always talks about Sora, always. She'll stare and a blitzball or an old play toy and suddenly just burst out "My god… Sora's dead." and stare at me and I try very hard not to be upset at her … or pretend like I'm not over it. She'll always bring up these stories of when we were little and I laugh because, obviously, I remember it too. Really, it seems like everything we did together I remember since he died. Like was imbedded in my head kinda .
New years … is a very close second to summer because it signifies some thing new. And as the new years ball drops and the people are counting down "FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" "Happy" … New Year. New year, a new life, new beginnings … without him. Without Sora…
Oh, so you are wondering how he died … Huh? Well … no one really knows. His remains weren't found. It's just like he … disappeared. Without a trace. Where is he … I wonder? …
I'm here … just not where you can see me
I'll be with you again someday
It will just take me sometime … Kay
Take care of her … Riku
While I'm taking care of the world…
A/N
Hi!! This is something I wrote for my Best Friend, Charity Shelton. You see, she died a couple of months ago and something just lead me to write this. Maybe it was because her birthday is on May 14th. Well, I would love to see someone make this into a full length fiction. I think it's a good story layout? Yes? Just tell me if you would like to use it. Oh, and one more thing, in my mind, Sora's not dead. I made the ending so you can take it as you wish. Sora could be dead, or he could be … I'll leave the ending to you. On that note, thank you for reading and please review! P.S- this was updated twice, I added stuff and edited stuff too. Yea!