Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors/3k.
A/N: I thought I'll write a one shot focus on things to hate about Shu-Han. Though, I'm a lone Shu-ist(and open mind Wei-ist), this is my point of view on why Shu-Han was hated.
Reasons to Hate Shu-Han, hosted by SilentNinja
The talk show begins at the studio where audiences cheer loudly. A man walk into the stage and wave at the fans of Dynasty Warriors and Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! I am SilentNinja, your host and proudly present you this hour a moment of the entire Shu-ist community. Wu and Wei ists are welcome to watch this show because they're about to see several character bashing. Lets bring you the popular Shu characters! Please come join us," SilentNinja announced.
Zhao Yun, Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Wei Yan, Huang Zhong, Ma Chao, Xing Cai, Guan Ping, Pang Tong, Jiang Wei and Yue Ying show up at the stage and each take a seat where SilentNinja seat himself at the center.
The Wu and Wei ist crowd booed loudly while a few Shu ists nervously remain quiet. Zhao Yun took a deep breath while Zhuge Liang is surprised by the sudden rudeness of the crowd, Liu Bei could only look down ashamed, Wei Yan just smirk and Ma Chao along with Zhang Fei give the middle finger.
"Oh boy, they really hate us. I wonder where's that author Luo Guanzhong?" Pang Tong scanned the audience.
"Who gives a damn about Luo Guanzhong? These people are just a bunch of Cao lovers!" Ma Chao shouted.
"Ok peoples, I will start with Ma Chao. Since you're the best character in Dynasty Warriors 5 thanks to using the Shadow Harness," SilentNinja looked at Ma Chao and hear his thoughts.
"I hate Cao Cao and everything about him! Nothing makes me so proud to massacre his entire family!" Ma Chao said.
"That's why the entire Wei ist community label you as a genocide traitor," SilentNinja crossed his arms and nodded.
"I don't give a damn if I'm a traitor to the Han ruled by the Cao government! He has no right to control other people's lives and my entire clan!" Ma Chao scoffed.
"Loose cannon!" One Wei ist shouted.
"You're no different to Pan Zhang!" One Wu ist shouted.
Ma Chao gets up and raise the finger.
"Murder!" Another Wei ist shouted.
"Yes, I murdered Wei Kang at Ji castle! The rat bastard!" Mengqi chuckled evily.
"And thus lead to the death of your wife Lady Yang…." Zhuge Liang added.
"Zhao Ang and his bitch Wang Yi set my wife up and they lynch her and my son!" Ma Chao argued.
"Terrible, but that's a price to pay…" SilentNinja sadly nodded.
"Boo hoo, I lost all my family. Losser!" A wei ist taunted.
"….." Ma Chao snarled at the Wei ist thinking of several ways to kill the entire Wei ist community.
"Ok, next is Guan Yu, The God of War," SilentNinja faced to Guan Yu who is like always rubbing his damn beard that needs to be shaved.
"First of all, my deepest condolences to all Pang De fanboys and fangirls that he got cut off on Dynasty Warriors 6," Guan Yu said.
"BOOOO!! BOOO!!" Pang De fans jeered. Outrage by Koei cutting off Pang Dexus.
"They're bothersome bunch," Guan Yu laughed.
"Your arrogance is one of the best," SilentNinja shook his head laughed.
"Hey dumbass, you loss Jing so easily, why are you even laughing Fraud of War!" Wu ist scolded.
"Lu Xun set me up!" Guan Yu countered.
"I should have know that Zhou Yu has Lu Xun as his true successor," Zhuge Liang thought.
"But who really killed Guan Yu?" Pang Tong look confused as he never expect this to happen because he was dead years before that incident.
"Pan Zhang…" Guan Ping sighed.
"Pan Zhang? I though it was Sun Quan!" Liu Bei look shocked.
"That undisciplined officer Sun Quan employed," Zhuge Liang filled in.
"Why, why did they killed you, Ping?!" Xing Cai wept.
"Please, don't cry my star. A warrior dies without regrets and I'm glad you looked after Xing as the empress," Guan Ping stroked Xing Cai's hair.
"I don't want to marry Liu Chan!!" Xing Cai cried louder.
"……" Liu Bei sighed.
"Way…to screw up…..Yunchang…" Wei Yan glared at the "God of War".
"Hey, if you defended Jing, the same plan will happen!" Guan Yu urged.
"Actually, Zhuge Liang should have defended Jing upon his return there," Zhao Yun said with his eyes focus on Zhuge Liang's arrogance.
"You're giving the blame of Jing's loss at me?" Zhuge Liang choked.
"Longzhong…failure…." Wei Yan laughed.
"Ever since the Battle of Han Shui, I was considered Pang Tong's successor," Zhao Yun sadly stared at Kongming.
"That's what the Shu-Han historian Qiao Zhou, Chen Shou, the Wei, Wu, Jin historians don't want us to believe and Luo Guanzhong," SilentNinja nodded. The number one Zhao Yun fanboy himself is here on Zhao Yun's defense of his butchered history being recorded.
"Luo Guanzhong even go as far to have you rip off the empty castle strategy I invented," Zhao Yun said.
"……." Zhuge Liang looked down the floor speechless. Did his existence caused Zhao Yun to be an underrated Shu contributor and the fact that Zhuge Liang was looked as a living god, a Chinese marvel?
"Which brings us to the next officer, Zhuge God," SilentNinja glared at Kongming, "No offense, Kongming, but to me, you're to blame for the downfall of Shu-Han."
"What is he talking about!?" Zhuge Liang gasped.
"That's not true!" Yue Ying stood to defend her husband.
"The Prime Minister did us all a great way in our lives," Jiang Wei urged.
"BOOOO!! BOOOO!!" Wei and Wu ists jeer unison.
"Unbelievable…what just happened after I died?!" Liu Bei turned to Zhao Yun.
"A lot… of …crap…happened," Wei Yan sighed.
"How about it, Kongming. Using the same damn roads on 4 Northern Campaigns and Ma Su leading Jie Ting," Zhao Yun nodded.
"You deploy Ma Su to lead the army!? Didn't I just told you what I said about that moron!?" Liu Bei looked at his famed strategist with watery eyes. How could this be?
"My lord…" Zhuge Liang shuddered.
"You should have seen it, my lord. Ma Su disobey orders and Wang Ping got into an argument with him and those who agreed with Ma Su," Zhao Yun explained.
"Un-friggin-believable!" Liu Bei stood outraged.
"And the entire three kingdoms community put me as the blame for Shu-Han's downfall by saving Liu Chan. However, Liu Chan was never the issue," Zhao Yun then pointed at Jiang Wei.
Everyone stared at the very last hero of Shu-Han.
"Hahahaha, that loser loss to me 7 times," Deng Ai appears in the audience laughing.
"And you employ this man during the Northern Campaign?!" Liu Bei shouted. He wants a full explanation of the downfall of Shu-Han.
"W..wait..I can explain it..!!" Jiang Wei shuddered.
"No offense, but did I just met you as a brat during my Rebellion," Ma Chao wondered.
"……." Jiang Wei frowned.
"Man, I knew we shouldn't trust that almighty wannabe Zhang Liang," Zhang Fei complained.
"I shouldn't have entrust you to guard Xu Zhou, you moron!" Liu Bei scolded.
"HAHAHA…Cao Bao…Incident.." Wei Yan laughed harder.
"Also my lord, we should have ditched Yang Yi," Zhao Yun shook his head.
"Yang Yi?! What did he do?" Liu Bei asked.
"He slandered me. Framed me for being a traitor after Zhuge Liang died just so he can get promoted," Wei Yan explained in his historical personality.
"M…my lord…I can explain that posthumous order. It…it.." Zhuge Liang was cut off when Liu Bei boomed.
"You fool and all your friends you let me hire!! What is the meaning of this upon Wei Yan's death!?" Liu Bei angrily scold at Zhuge Liang.
"Dear is that true…?" Yue Ying asked turning to her husband who never seen the darkside of his personality.
"My wife, it's a joke. I didn't intend to have Wei Yan assassinated," Zhuge Liang denied.
"Zhuge Liang…evil…." Wei Yan return to his Dynasty Warriors cave speak.
Yue Ying tears shear and she ran out of the stage.
"And Luo Guanzhong tried to make him look so honest and perfect while I turn into a jealous jackass who wants to kill him," Zhou Yu spoke out at the audience.
"This has nothing to do with you, Gongjin. Go back to having sex with your whore of a Qiao!" Zhuge Liang urged.
"Who are you calling me whore!" Xiao Qiao shouted.
"Doesn't matter, Wu are all traitors to the Han and Zhou Yu plotted the entire Jing Zhou campaign just to take the province from the rightful successor Lord Liu Qi and the victory of Chi Bi is an excuse of his heroism!" Zhuge Liang urged with serious criticism.
"I forgot to inform you my arrogant friend that I ditched the Two Kingdoms strategy the moment your cowardly lord flee to Jiang Xia and it was my Lord Sun Quan that wanted the province more than I could careless about it as long as nobody set foot in the land of my best friend! Be happy that my assistance Lu Su returned Jiang Ling to you pitiful hypocrites after my death!" Zhou Yu countered.
"GONGJIN!! GONGJIN!!" Wu ists chanted.
"Vote my Zhouie for president!!" Xiao Qiao smiled.
"I want nothing to do with the Jing Zhou crisis and Guan Yu's death. I rest my case," Zhou Yu crossed his arms.
"Wow! Zhou Yu just owned Zhuge Liang in a debate! What has the world coming to!" Pang Tong look shocked.
"By the way, Kongming. Had you enjoyed sex with your wife? She loves you so much that she never seen the real ambitious monster inside you who discouraged Li Yan," Zhou Yu taunted.
"What the….that's none of your business you pervert! Arrrgh!!" Zhuge Liang coughed blood from suffering an illness.
"Prime Minister!!" Jiang Wei race after his beloved Prime Minister.
"And all of my successors have done a great job for the future of Wu while your successors had all failed," Zhou Yu smiled.
"Y…you…" Zhuge Liang struggle to get back on his seat.
"Wow, totally expected of Zhou Yu's argument. He'll have his reputation and personality redeemed in the movie Battle of Red Cliffs coming this summer. Don't miss it!" SilentNinja wiggled his finger.
"GONGJIN!! GONGJIN!!" Wu fans chanted again.
"Chi Bi sucks!" One Wei fan jeered.
"Fluke!" Another Wei fan jeered.
"Too bad, your heroes aren't even good naval officers. It takes like …what..the entire Jin army to invade Wu. That's a long time," Zhou Yu laughed.
"At least we survive the worst of Cao Cao's fangs for the glory of the Han," Zhao Yun smiled.
"Had it not been for Zhou Yu, we wouldn't be able to recover Liu Biao's lands. Damn I want to get my hands on Cai Mao," Huang Zhong nodded.
"Now for the final reason of Shu-Han hate, the one and only King of Han Zhong himself," SilentNinja stare at Liu Bei.
"Me too?! I know I'm deeply sorry for attacking Wu blindly and loss…" Liu Bei whimpered.
"Make Ma Chao rank higher than Zhao Yun," SilentNinja added.
"Excuse me, " Ma Chao look confused.
"Well…I couldn't thank him enough for getting Liu Zhang to surrender…" Liu Bei said.
"Having Zhuge Liang slander Liu Feng so you can force Liu Feng to commit suicide," SilentNinja sighed.
"…." Liu Bei frowned.
"How about that for your credibility, Kongming," Zhao Yun glared at Zhuge God himself.
"You rather want him to succeed or Liu Chan?" Zhuge Liang raised eyebrow.
"Liu Feng didn't deserve that," Zhao Yun scowled.
"Forgive me Liu Feng…" Liu Fei whimpered.
"Father…." Liu Feng cried at the audience.
"So even Liu Bei did the same thing my bastard husband did…" Zhen Ji sighed at the audience.
"I wasn't there that time, Zhen Ji…" Zhao Yun said. Zhao Yun was at Jiangzhou before Liu Feng's death where he governed the city.
"All this is what makes people look down upon Liu Bei's novelization self," SilentNinja said.
"Well…I really do wanted to restore the Han Dynasty, but I couldn't let go of my anger," Liu Bei shrugged.
"And betray me…" Zhao Yun added.
"So, your plan makes more sense than Zhuge Liang and Wei Yan's on attacking Wei?" Pang Tong questioned.
"I don't believe Cao Pi would kill the Emperor if his pitiful ascension was by evil means. He wants the entire Central Plains and North China to encourage his ascent with false accusations at Liu Xie on the Han's downfall thanks to Wang Lang. Coming for a clan that turned into the Consort Clan," Zhao Yun turn to see Emperor Zihuan with that same look that makes Zhao Yun wants to punch that smirk looking face hard.
"Damn, I should have killed Wang Lang sooner!" Sun Ce throw the chair at the ground hard.
"Bofu…" Da Qiao took her hands around her husband to calm his anger.
"And for a 1,000 years after Shu-Han's fall, these heroes were never acknowledged until the novel was made, however Guan Yu and Zhuge Liang remain major key factors to the incident. Guan Yu was sympathized greatly at Wei and due to his merits in the Battle of Guan Du, he got a heroes funeral. And Zhuge Liang's inventions and marvels become a culture development in the ages," SilentNinja said.
"He don't deserve a funeral!!" Pang Hui screamed. But, the securities show up to drag him before he got closer to Guan Yu and screaming at him.
"Hey kid, don't take this personal. Cao Cao owns me the debt," Guan Yu crossed his arms.
"Father deserves better!! FATHER DESERVES A HEROES FUNERAL!!" Pang Hui echoed out of the stage.
SilentNinja rubbed his forehead. There's a buttload of Shu hate due to the biasness and the novel.
"I learnt that Pang Hui massacred your entire family for payback," SilentNinja said.
"That won't change anything. The kid never learns," Guan Yu laughed.
"Yeah, it won't change anything. Guan Yu will always get uber stats in Romance of the Three Kingdoms 1- 11 and Zhuge Liang will continue to look as a god even if he's overshadowing Zhao Yun's hardworking," SilentNinja sighed.
"They both don't look god like to me," Sima Yi scoffed.
"JIN! HALT JIN DYNASTY!!" Jin ist chanted.
"Thanks to my descendants, I won the race," Sima Yi smiled.
"If serving those Cao morons was a joke, I do envy Cao Pi's ambitious attitude which I rip off to abuse my power, father," Sima Zhao said.
"LOL Cao…" Sima Yan laughed.
"So there you have it, the entire true about Shu-Han and why they're hated. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for joining with us and don't even bother hating Zhao Yun. He deserves recognition more than anyone for his non corrupt, heroism, and one of the three people who defeated Cao Cao single handedly, even if it means he rescue Liu Shan. Would you rather want Cao Pi's ascension to force Yi zhou as a part of the wonderful, powerful Wei Dynasty after Liu Bei dies? You should never underestimate True Loyalty," SilentNinja said.
The show ends with the credits rolling.