Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me! All of these characters belong to the brilliant J.K. Rowling. My story is only based on her novel. The only thing that belongs to me is the idea of this story.

An Illusion of Love By: SoccerLily

Chapter 1: Shady Truths and Secrets

I look out my dust-covered window with glazed eyes and stare down at the steaming chimneys below. The unique snowflakes sprinkle down covering the warm, cozy houses with yet another covering of white icing. Fresh tears start to stream freely down flushed cheeks as I remember that no gifts will be coming this Christmas. I look back at my ragged bed and shabby surroundings and once again wince at the sight of myself in the mirror. I hate the six-year-old oriental complexion shimmering back at me through the many cracks and missing pieces of the fogged mirror.

"Mr. Snuggles, I was a bad girl… a bad, bad girl… Grams said so and Grams is always right. She says I shouldn't have done what I did… I told her I had to because Mommy and Daddy were not very nice… She said it didn't matter and I shouldn't have done what I did and that this had to stay between her and I. So, Mr. Snuggles you have to keep this a secret." With that the small girl places a knobby finger to her lips and made a soft "shhh…" sound.

10 years later

"Mr. Snuggles do you think what I did was wrong?" Cho Chang places one hand behind the tattered old, elephant stuffed animal and pretends the animal is responding. She places one hand to her neck and clears her throat getting ready to imitate what she imagined him saying. With a clearly deeper voice she begins her masquerade.

"They deserved it… they were very mean and never gave you what you wanted… Grams is just too good to appreciate your actions."

"Don't talk about Grams that way! Look at what she has done for all of us. If it weren't for her we wouldn't have had anywhere to go. She didn't leave us as stranded little orphans out in the cold streets, she helped us, and she took us in not caring what we had done. You should be grateful… more than grateful…in debt."

Cho places her stuffed animal back on her pink comforter and swiftly lifts her mattress up. There in between broken metal springs she pulls out a small shoebox. She raises the lid to pull out a modest green diary hinged together by a few loose ribbons. She places the box back in a hidden corner and re-adjusts her mattress before lofting herself onto it. She opens a nearby drawer and pulls out a quill and ink.

"The things you find in hidden passages at Hogwarts. You would think Tom Riddle would have chosen a more suitable place to hide a volume of his diary."

Cho shrugs and turns to look at the diary embroidered in light green snakes. In the middle stamped in humble letters spelled the name "Tom Marvolo Riddle" which now below it were carved in: " Niece: Cho Chang." Cho gives a mischievous grin and opens the diary up to August 31st and begins her daily routine of pouring her inner most thoughts into a blank page.

August 31

Dear Diary,

Guilty, jealous, insecure, angry, and other horrible thoughts and feelings just keep flowing through my pounding head. All of these emotions had been bubbling inside as long as I can remember. I can't deny that I am not the sanest person you will come across. I have faults just like everyone else. But mine are worse than you can ever imagine. I maybe Cho Chang, one of the most popular girl at Hogwarts, but no one really knows me. The real me. My Past; My Present; Or My Future. They have no idea who Cho Chang really is. They have no idea of the things I have done or things I am capable of to get what I want. No one does.

I have been locked up in a protective cocoon. I am the only person responsible. I'm the one who had the key and swallowed it. On the outside I am the kind and caring Cho Chang everyone knows and loves. On the inside I can't say there is a beautiful butterfly. To tell you the truth, who am I to lie? You can search and search but all you will find is bottled up feelings of anger, guilt, and remorse. I'm the only one responsible. It is who I truly am. It is who I want to be.

Sincerely,

Cho Chang

Twenty minutes after departing Kings Cross Station I decided to make my way to his train compartment. I had rehearsed my apology over and over again all summer. But, I couldn't help worrying Harry might reject me. I thought our date at Hogsmeade was going great. Then, Harry goes and says he is going to meet Hermione after me. He acted as if our date didn't matter, as if it was a joy ride that came to an abrupt end. He was going to go from one girl to another but now I see that it wasn't like that at all and I was overruled by envy.

Harry and Hermione have such a close relationship I couldn't help but worry. Since I'm the jealous type exploded in front of all those people at Madam Puddifoot's Coffee Shop. From then on things went from bad to worse. I probably embarrassed him horribly bursting out that way, screaming at him without remorse or shame at all. Which is why I decided it was necessary to have a talk.

We have to set things straight before they get out of hand. But, most importantly I needed to apologize for loosing my temper. I thought I had worked out my "issues" and could confront the problems that would come my way. Last time I truly lost my temper changed my life forever and I wasn't about to go through that again. I had lost enough and I'm not going to let go this easily this time.

I passed golden-framed compartment after compartment and finally arrived at the very last compartment where I had seen him walk into earlier. I stared at my feet and rehearsed my apology again. I wanted everything to be perfect. In the compartment I heard two people talking. I recognized the first voice instantly to belong to Harry and the other to my disgrace to belong to Hermione. I used the new Extendable Ears I got from the new joke shop Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, to ease drop on their conversation.

Thank God for Fred and George making rule-breaking easier for future wizards. I carefully placed the Extendable Ear against the sliding door making sure no one saw or heard me. I kneeled to the floor and listened motionless. But, I soon regretted doing so.

"Hermione, er…I was wondering…um… could you give me some advice," Harry nervously said as he started to edge closer to her.

"Absolutely, what ever about Harry?" Hermione questioned as she looked up from her book, Hogwarts: A History, a concerned look on her face.

"Well, Hermione, see there's this girl…" Harry started edging even closer to Hermione.

"I see, continue Harry," The twinkle once in Hermione's chestnut eyes disappeared immediately after Harry's words. An immense look of disappointment appeared on her face.

To be continued…