Disclaimer: I don't own shit, Harry Potter ect belong to JK Rowling-don't sue me.
This is twisted, completely OOC and I know this. You don't need to tell me. Go ahead and review, but please, no flames.
Bad Hermione
Harry and Ron were still awake when Hermione staggered into the Griffindor common room at nearly one in the morning, her hair askew moreso than normally.
"Hermione!" Harry said jumping up from the game of chess he was playing with Ron. "Where have you been? We've been worried?"
Hermione blinked blurrily at him. "You 'ave?" she asked, stepping towards him uncertainly. "Tha's so swee'!" She sighed and Harry got a whiff of her breath.
"Hermione," he started, taking her hands and leading her to a chair by the fire. "Have you been DRINKING?"
"No!" Hermione said, looking at him, but her eyes refused to focus and she soon gave up with a sigh. "Well, a li'l," she admitted, her speach blurred. "I was bore' an' Lisa 'ad somethin', an' so we drank a li'l..."
"You were bored." Harry's voice was flat with disbelief.
Hermione nodded in that way that only drunks and injured folks can manage-her head lolling on her neck. "Yup. S'ill am."
"You could play chess," Ron said, getting up from his seat on the floor.
"Not THA' kinda bore'," Hermione said, gaining her feet with difficulty and reeling towards the redhead. "I'm bore' wi' li'l perfec' Hermione-perfec' grades, never done anything wron'..." She reached Ron and wrapped her arms around him, leaning heavily on his lanky frame. "I wanna change...." She looked around in bewilderment. "where's my wand?"
Harry frowned, and stepped over to help Ron disentangle the drunk witch from himself. "Hermione, do you think you should use your wand like you are now?"
Hermione glared at him, as he half-carried her back to the seat. "Yes." She slurred. "Where s'it? Oh!" she giggled as she found her wand in her pocket. "Is righ' here!"
Harry reached over to take the wand away from his friend, but she jerked it our of his reach. "Don' take it!" she said loudly, as Harry tried again. "Immob'lis!' she shouted, pointing the wand at Harry, and, even though Hermione badly mispronounced the latin, Harry found himself unable to move.
Ron lept forward and knelt beside Harry as Hermione giggled. "Oh! I lik' majic....." She pointed the wand at her head and said a few words, so slurred that Ron couldn't even understand them. He winced, shutting his eyes, afraid that when he re-opened them, Hermione would have done something like turned her face inside out.
Hermione giggled again. "Mush bette'," Ron opened his eyes and stared at Hermione in shock. Her hair was short, spikey and blue! "Ron," Ron flinched at the sound of his name. "D'you hav' a safety pin?"
"Uh...." Ron hesitantly reached in his pocket and pulled one out-his father had gotten a bunch, thinking them to be extremely cool.
"Than's..." Hermione leaned forward to take it, but couldn't quite reach. "Gimme it," Ron slowly passed the pin to Hermione. Hermione took it and, before Ron could stop her, shoved it through her nose, effectivly peircing it. "Coo'" she said, ignoring the blood that ran from the hole in her nose. "I feel diff'rent. Do you wanna be diff'rent too, Ronny boy?" She giggled and stood.
"Uh, no," Ron said, backing away from her, feeling scared. "Hermione, uh, why don't you go to bed.....I remember when Fred and George got drunk-they needed to sleep it off..."
"Nons'ns'!" Hermione said, lurching towards him. "I don' need to sleep..." She caught Ron's robe and looped her arms around his neck. "Com'on...." She leaned close and kissed the taller boy.
Ron tried to pull away, but Hermione was surprisingly strong-especially for a drunk girl. "This'll be a change!" She slurred as she whipped her wand out again. "Undressedilis!" She said, making the english sound vaguely latin. Of course, nothing happened, except Ron tried to edge away from her once again. "Oh, dam'!" Hermione growled. "I'll hav' to do'it th' ol' fashion'd way!"
"Uh Hermione..." Ron muttered.
"Shu'up." Hermione growled, and pushed him hard enough that he fell. She sat on his stomach and grinned drunkinly at him. "This'll be fun..."
***
Hermione moaned as she woke. She was cold and had a headache and the early morning light was hurting her eyes. She tried curling up into a ball, but her knees hit something warm and firm first. Hermione's eyes flew open and painfully focused on Ron's naken body.
With a shriek that hurt her ears, Hermione lept up (making herself dizzier than she already was), to find herself naked as well, and in the Griffindor Common roomn, no less! Harry was alseep not far from the fire, Hermione's and Ron's robes were strewn over the floor, along with Ron's chess set and Hermione's nose hurt.
Harry moved, and Hermione quickly ran and grabbed her robe. She yanked it over her head, throwing Ron's on his, and made her way to Harry's side.
"Harry?" She said, softly, and even that made her ears ache. Harry's eyes opened and widened at the sight of her.
"Hermione!" he said, sounding shocked. Hermione tapped him with her wand, which she had recovered along with her robe. Harry sat up gingerly. "Are you alright?" he asked.
"I think so," Hermione stuttered. "What happened?"
Harry eyed her, her hair and nose. "I think you'd better look in a mirror....or ask Ron," he indicated Ron's still-naked, sleeping form.
Hermione frowned. "A mirror?' Her hand snked up and felt her hair-short and spikey, and her nose-with the safety pin in it. Her breath tasted like alchohol, and her body ached. She glanced at Ron, and thought of how, just moments ago, she'd been curled beside him, as naked as he.
Hermione passed out.
Well, what do you think? I don't like the ending-and I may do a sequal if I get around it it....please tell me what you think.