(Stan and Wendy are at a psychiatrist's office.)

Stan: We've been having some problems with our relationship lately. We don't talk too often, we don't hang out too often, we never have any time to ourselves.

Wendy: It seems that nowadays we just grow more apart than together. I mean, all the years of breaking up and being a couple many times, it just doesn't feel the same anymore.

Stan: Maybe, the spark in our relationship is dying out. And it's a sign of just calling it quits for good.

Psychiatrist: It appears that your relationship is at an impasse. Your love for each other is very much at risk. I think I have a suggestion to keep the spark lit for long. However, it could require you to express yourselves freely.

Wendy: What do you mean?

Psychiatrist: You know... (The psychiatrist makes a hole with his hand and shifts his finger back and forth. Stan and Wendy are shocked.)

Wendy: Are you suggesting that we have sex?!

Stan: Dude, fucking sick!

Psychiatrist: I'm just saying, it might be the only way to save your relationship.

Wendy: By performing underage intercourse?

Stan: That's totally fucked up. What the fuck kind of psychiatrist are you?

Psychiatrist: I happen to have graduated in Yale. Twice.

Stan: You know what. Fuck you and your advice.

(Stan and Wendy leave the office.)

(The next day at school, The boys are at the cafeteria.)

Stan: And then he said that in order to save our relationship, we were to have sex.

Jimmy: Have s-s-s-sex?

Stan: Of course. That's the stupidest piece of crap I've ever heard of.

Cartman: So, are you gonna do it?

Stan: What?

Cartman: Are you gonna drill Wendy's vag?

Stan: No, I'm not gonna drill Wendy's vag.

Craig: I have to agree with Cartman on this one. Maybe you and Wendy should do it. That would be the most awesome thing to ever happen.

Stan: Are you fucking serious right now?

Jimmy: What's the big d-deal, Stan? You just need to get p-p-passionate with Wendy.

Stan: Goddammit, we don't need sex to fix our relationship. Kyle, back me up here.

Kyle: I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to stay out of this one.

(Kyle exits)

Stan: Dude?!

(Later, at the hallway)

Wendy: Stan, do you mind telling me why people are actually agreeing to this whole sex thing?

Stan: I don't know and I don't care. They're just being ignorant.

Wendy: Honestly, we shouldn't really have sex right now. We're too young.

Stan: Exactly. All we need to do to make this better is just hang out more.

Wendy: Right. Great idea, Stan. Maybe we should go to a park, or a fancy restaurant or a-

(Wendy and Stan look at everyone staring at them.)

Stan: What? What are you all looking at?

(Everyone is still staring at them.)

Stan: If you're all waiting for Wendy and I to have sex, well I'm sorry, that's never gonna happen. Now piss off.

(Everyone walks away)