Tollete Dolorum

'Take Up Your Sorrow'

Disclaimer I do not own Teen Titans. Period.

Author Note Ah, never thought I'd do it, but I did. I wrote (am writing?) a Robin/Raven fanfic (or at least it will be). gasp Don't gasp. I'm obsessed, all of a sudden.

- - -

Chapter One - Descending

The pale light from the moon seemed to mingle effortlessly with the monotone voice of the girl sitting cross-legged in the air. Her pale features mirrored that of the perfect disc in the sky, contrasted by her choice of clothing and the color of her short cut hair. Her muttered prayer of sorts fought for control of a disturbed mind.

She fought off the images from the night terrors that had brought her from the comforting embrace of sleep to the chill night air here on the roof of Titan Tower. Eyes closed, but not in peace, she struggled through the confines of her own memory, forever engraved with the gore that threatened to choke her even now.

Her dark hair hung in even darker clumps around her face, and sweat glistened on her face. For once, her meditations were not helping her in the slightest.

The images rose before her again, stronger this time. She opened her mouth, an animal scream of terror rising in her, but no sound passed her lips.

Blood, terror, and fire. Pain, horror, and death. They embraced the dark girl, who tried to fight but found her limbs useless in this battle. The vision was stronger this time, and opening her eyes proved impossible.

She saw them all. Each lay dead or dying before her. Beast Boy, forever trapped in the form of a wolf, dead in pooling blood. Perhaps his was the most kind death.

Starfire had died protecting her love, it seemed, for her slumped body, though horribly mangled, lay over Robin's. The boy wonder himself lay unmasked and nearly beheaded.

The bile rose in Raven's throat to survey this so far, but the vision did not end there.

Cyborg had been dismantled, his mechanical half gone completely while only what had once remained of flesh lay in a charred heap.

Tears streamed down Raven's face freely as she surveyed the last of her friends deaths. Terra's. The boisterous blonde lay enshrined across a boulder. It appeared that she had been tied down and beaten to death, for the body was a mass of bruises and blood with her face.

Raven fought for control, but couldn't help but whimper when she surveyed the dead teens once more.

Stairs leading upwards tempted her, but she wanted only to flee from the murder of her friends. She fled upwards, each step taking more effort but rage and fear driving her further.

She had not made it this far in her dreams. This time, however, the vision would not free her.

At the head of the stairs, she paused, horrified.

She had found herself.

And she was kneeling at her father's feet.

Finally free, the vision released her. She flailed around until she hit the surface of the tower's roof, hard. Her breathing came raggedly, her face stained from tears she hadn't realized she was shedding. Fighting for control that seemed so fleeting, so pointless, a pain overtook her and doubled her over.

'My daughter. . . my heir.'

She bit down, hard, not realizing that her lip was in the way. When the iron taste of blood filled her mouth, she coughed until she vomited.

Pushing herself away, she looked around.

The voice had been in her mind, she knew, but she looked around for him anyway. Trigon. Her father.

'You will be the one. . . you will prove your worth.'

She closed her eyes, trying to ignore his voice. That voice that she had so long ago learned to fear, and loathe.

'It will not be I who slays the Titans, my dear. . .'

Her mouth formed the word, but she couldn't speak it.

'It will be you.'

- - -

She didn't remember blacking out, but the sun was high in the sky when she finally awoke the next morning. She shivered, though the sun had warmed her pale body. This cold came from within, and she doubted she would ever be warm again.

That vision. . . premonition? . . . had left it's scar on her mind. She would never hurt the Titans. She hesitated. She wouldn't if she was in her right mind, she reasoned.

Half of her blood was demonic. Could she truly control it? Had she ever really controlled it?

No.

She was now a danger to her friends, and she could not afford to be. Until she could control her demon side, she was a liability.

She was a risk.

She would have to leave them.

She didn't want to, and knew she had to.

She reasoned to herself. Terra had been in that vision. Dead, but there. Which meant that the blonde girl would have to be returned from her stone prison before the vision could take place.

Letting out a long held breathe, Raven mused she had time.

How much, however, she didn't know.

Descending the stairs into the Tower, she mulled over where she would go. Could she return to peaceful Azarath, and dare bring that threat to those who had trained her?

It had been because of her father that she'd come to Earth. She knew that her friends weren't ready to face Trigon.

Especially if she was seduced by her demonic heritage. She closed her eyes, and fervently hoped that she could avoid that future.

Azarath was out of the question, at least for now. She would had to find a way to help herself, then. She would have to go on the run.

Until then. . . she vowed to find a way to tell her friends, instead of disappear into the night. She couldn't do that to them.

Pausing, she realized that she stood outside the door to the living room. She hesitated a long moment, staring at the door.

She could see, in her mind, Beast Boy and Cyborg hard at one of their racing games. She could see Starfire cheering, perhaps with a bowl of 'pudding of happiness' in her lap. She could see Robin, eyes closed (though who could ever tell when they were closed behind that mask?) listening to one of his favorite songs, blaring on the radio.

She sighed, and keyed the door open.

She almost smiled, despite her heavy mind, at how accurate, down to the pudding of happiness, that she had been.

"Oh! Friend Raven! Would you like to partake in the pudding of happiness!?" Starfire exclaimed upon sighting the darker girl.

Raven closed her eyes. "No." she replied evenly. At Starfire's crestfallen expression, Raven added: "Thanks anyway, Starfire, I'm not hungry."

Starfire smiled broadly and went back to cheering for her friends.

Robin, however, stared at her as she walked passed him. She could feel his eyes following her as she disappeared into the kitchen.

With shaking hands, she pulled a box of her favorite herbal tea out of the cupboard. When she finally dropped in onto the counter, she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

"What's wrong, Raven?"

She started, turning around with her hands glowing black before she realized that it was only Robin who had interrupted her.

She released the burst of power she'd gathered and sighed to herself, silently. She needed to get a grip.

"Nothing." she finally replied to his question, turning back to stare at the offending box of tea. She assumed that he had gone, because the kitchen remained silent as she filled the teapot with water and set it on the stove with only minimal shaking hands and sweaty palms.

"I don't think it's nothing." Robin's voice chipped in, finally. She glanced over at him, steeling her expression into a glare. He shrugged. "If you want to talk, Raven. . ."

"I don't need to talk!" she growled, then was instantly remorseful for it. Not only at Robin's bruised pride, but because the teapot she'd been heating shattered with that burst of anger.

Sighing, she turned the stove off and moved to pick up the pieces.

Yelping, she realizing just how hot the pieces were.

"Here." Robin gently took her wrist and held her burnt fingers under a cool stream of water from the facet. She found herself blushing before she realized exactly what was happening.

"Thanks." she breathed. Robin turned to her, and she was a little startled to realize how close they were. It would only take a little bit of a motion to kiss him. . .

She immediately berated herself for the thought, and yet wondered at it.

"No problem." he released her wrist a moment later, looking away. She glanced down, mentally kicking herself. When he glanced back at her, his expression was softer. "I'm serious, Raven. If you need to talk. . . I'm here for you."

He left the kitchen on that note, and Raven let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. What had brought that on, she wondered. All of it.

The urge to kiss him. . . was there something there? No, impossible, she reasoned. She was beyond love, and it was forbidden to her.

His sudden concern for her. . . was she seeing more there than actually was? She must be! Robin was in love with Starfire, not the dark maiden with the burned hand. He must have just been showing concern for her as their leader.

And she had more important things to worry about, besides.

Like how to tell her friends that she was their greatest doom.

- - -

Fin.

-The Celtic Raven.

"I'm descending into you. . ."

-Descending, Scars of Life