Harry Potter and the random activity week:
Summary: Albus Dumbledore decides to organize a 'fun' week and invites loads of other random people from various films. Warning may contain hints of hobbit slash!
Note: This is not supposed to be canon or have any form of grammar/plot or anything
Chapter 1/1 (Hopefully. God/Allah/Buddha/ Mary/ Pingu/ Valar/ Vishnu/ Lord/ Lady/ other-deity save us if there was more) :
Albus Dumbledore was bored.
"I know" he said to Minerva McGonagall who had randomly appeared in his office "Lets have a film festival!"
"Yay!" yelled a random portrait
"I have a better Idea!" Said Nearly Headless Nick "Lets have a huge orgy!"
His comment was met with silence
Suddenly Minerva said "Lets have a fun week!"
"Yay" yelled the same portrait
XOXOXOX
Breakfast the next day
Everybody was sitting in the great hall eating when Dumbledore stood up
"Since the author cannot be bothered to add any description or anything to this speech ill be brief and say were having a fun week with lots of sick twisted contests!"
"Yay!" yelled a random 1st year named Rand. M. Kid who shall not appear again
Dumbledore ignored that comment
"Anyhow I've decided to bring in a few characters to make up a team to represent the authors fav films"
"Introducing team LOTR!"
Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gollum, Sam, Gandalf, Frodo, Elrond, Arwen and Bilbo appear
"What? Where are we!" yelled Aragorn. He was ignored.
"Introducing Team Matrix!"
Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, Agent smith, Cypher, Mouse, the random kid who opens the dock named kid, Niobe, and The twins
"Introducing team Larry Rotter!"
Larry Rotter, Runt Measles, Humping, Drinking, Lord FannyRash, Doodle Dumbarse, Mrs Pigg, Nobby, Chow-Phat and Nolife
"And finally our own Hogwarts team may the following pupils please stand up:
Harry Potter,
Ron Weasley
Hermione Granger
Draco Malfoy
Ginny Weasley
Dobby
Blaise Zambini
Severus Snape
And last but not least Fred and George Weasley!"
"Arghhhh!" yelled Harry upon spotting Larry "You look just like me but more rabid!"
"Arghhhh!" yelled Larry upon spotting Harry "You look just like me but less rabid!"
"Arghhhh!" yelled Agent Smith upon spotting Elrond "You look just like me but with pointy ears, a dress and dodgy hair!"
"Arghhhh!" yelled Elrond upon spotting Agent Smith "You look just like me but without pointy ears and dodgy hair and with dodgy eyebrows and fake sunglasses and wearing a suit!"
"Arghhhh!" yelled Fred upon spotting George "You look just like me!"
"Arghhhh!" yelled George upon spotting Fred "You look just like me!"
"Arghhhh!" yelled Snape upon spotting all the others "What?"
"Never mind!" said the author chucking away the keyboard
A small scream is heard as the keyboard impacts against the walls.
"What?" asked the author at the looks he was getting
"Never mind!" said Severus
"Right then" said Dumbledore "The events list is as follows:
Sack race
Archery
Football (Soccer) penalty shootout
Duelling
Quidditch (But with 1 player as keeper/chaser and one as beater/chaser
And some others the author wants you to send in with your reviews but will add later!"
"Why is there 10 to a team?" asked Rand. M. Kid
"I thought you said he wouldn't appear again?" pointed out Harry
"Oh my bad."
Rand. M. Kid disappeared to be replaced by Rand. M. X. Tra
"Ok take two!" yelled Snape. "What?" he asked as everyone looked at him weirdly and slowly edged away
"Why is there 10 to a team?" asked Rand. M. X. Tra
"Because there are currently 5 events. There will be two competitors in each event, but the same person may not compete in two different events!"
"Oh ok" said Rand. M. X. Tra before returning to sticking blu-tack up his sleeping friends nose
"Anyway lets just skip to the next scene shall we?"
"NOOOOOOOO" yelled Snape
More weird looks and shuffling away followed
"Ok everyone's dismissed. I want you other competitors who have know idea what the heck's going on to randomly know and choose who will be competing for each event!"
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Random abandoned charms room #231 aka Fellowship HQ
"I don't see why it can't be called 'middle earth creatures HQ or something'" said Lord Elrond "I mean not EVERYONE here is in the fellowship!"
"Oh shut up!" said Gandalf smacking him round the head with the Ebil staff of DOOM tm "We need to choose our candidates for the events!"
"What is this Qwadmidtch anyway?" asked Sam
"Don't you know? It's a game us wizards play" said Rand. M. X. Tra who ahd just walked in.
"Who are you and why the hell are you here?" asked Gandalf
"I need the list of competitors....."
"fine here it is" Gandalf conjured up a piece of paper and a biro and yelled to his team mates
"GROUP HUDDLE!"
"Ewwww! Said Frodo upon spotting the... thing he was touching "Gollum's drooling over my tacky bit of jewellery again!"
"WE wantzzzz it though!!! Itz mine, my own, my precious!!!!! Ours! No! Mine! Mine! Mine!"
"I swear you died....." pointed out Frodo "And for the last time this is a free ring I found in a Kellogg's packet not The One Ring TO RULE THEM ALL!"
"Yeah, yeah whatever just give me the frikkin' list" shouted Rand. M. X. Tra over the din
XOXOXOX
Same time Potions Lab/ Torture chamber #122 AKA 'Zion'
"Cool! What does this one do?" said trinity as she poked a classic stretching rack
"It stretches you"
"Oh"
"you know.... "started Agent Smith before trailing off
"What?" asked Neo, despite the person he was talking two being his mortal enemy
"Why is the room called Zion? I mean... not all of us are rebels"
"It's called Zion because I want it to now shut up!"
"Fine! I will!"
"You do that!"
"Ok that's going to far! Now I turn you into an evil clone of DOOM tm!!!
"Guys.... Shut up! " Yelled Morpheus determined to win "We need our team roster...."
XOXOXOXOX
Same time Slytherin/Steal the Ring common room/ sty "Warty Hog land"
Larry passed the room slowly, having already 'requisitioned' the room from the Slytherins.
"Right so what's the plan?"
XOXOXOX
DA room "Team Hogwarts HQ"
"Right so what's the plan?" asked Draco
"Why are you being so nice all of the sudden?" asked Hermione
"I honestly don't know. I mean every fan-fic usually have me as the good guy and I rather like the ones that set me up with you and Ginny so....." Draco winked at the girls causing them to swoon
"EWWWW! That's my sister ferret boy! Im gonna do my typical reaction an go off in a strop now!"
XOXOXOX
1 hour later....
Dumbledore was sitting in his office when the lists of all the teams competitors and event appeared on his desk as if by magic (Well it WAS a magical school with moving staircases, dungeons, ghosts, she-males, Quidditch and broom cupboards so why can't they have other strange occurrences???)
Curious the old man looked down at the team rosters:
Team Fellowship (and another neat scrawl) and the other freaks nobody likes
Sack race
Gollum Bilbo
Archery
Legolas Arwen
Football (Soccer) penalty shootout
Sam Frodo
Duelling
Gimli, Aragorn
Quidditch
Gandalf Elrond
Team Zion
Sack race
Mouse, Kid
Archery
The twins
Football (Soccer) penalty shootout
Morpheus Cypher
Duelling
Neo, Agent smith
Quidditch
Trinity, Niobe
Team Warty Hogs
Sack race
Doodle Dumbarse Mrs Pigg
Archery
Nobby Chow-Phat
Football (Soccer) penalty shootout
Nolife Runt Measles
Duelling
Lord FannyRash Larry Rotter
Quidditch
Humping Drinking
Team Hogwarts!
Sack race
Dobby Ginny Weasley
Archery
Fred and George Weasley
Football (Soccer) penalty shootout
Hermione Granger Ron Weasley
Duelling
Harry Potter, Severus Snape
Quidditch
Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zambini
"hmmm" said Dumbledore "interesting