"How's your face?" Brian Macklin threw his jacket inside his car. He was clad casual but neat, as was his habit, being one of those who, in Anna's opinion, made jeans and T-shirt look smart as he had a balanced, well-built strong body most young guys half his age could only dream about, and Anna often thought that if the man only bothered in social ways, he too would have women swarming around him even if his facial features were not as handsome as for example Bodie's, and he was a few years older than most field-agents, maybe in his mid-fourties.
"I can keep my teeth", Anna informed the blond man whose gruff ways had never intimidated her. Macklin was a combatant like her brother Jack, and the woman appreciated that particular attribute, especially as Macklin was one of the best she ever had encountered. Besides, she liked him, the man could also be witty and fun, and Anna had no idea why most agents she had learned to know, thought that Macklin was a sadist. He simply was a trainer who knew what he wanted and put the trainees through it, that's all, so there was nothing to whimper about, grown-up men that they claimed to be and all. "Thank goodness I didn't have my tongue between the teeth, I bet I would have lost a part of it when I whammed down. But anyway, I can even eat and talk quite normally now." Anna had been doing warm-ups waiting for her colleague... superior... whatever, and was in a good mood at the sunlit yard. "You then? Nose?"
"No problems, I can even blow it again. Got some nice bruises though." Macklin grinned in a good-humoured way which probably would have made his usual victims gape, as the Chief Trainer of CI5 wasn't exactly known for smiling, he rather had a well-earned reputation of wiping smiles off anybody else too in a matter of seconds. "I think I wouldn't be here if you had managed to hit where you aimed at. Almost asked if you're a man-hater par excellence, or if it was only personal."
Anna's smile was sheepish. "Sorry about that, and I mean it. That's what I'm afraid to happen with the trainees." She wasn't smiling any more. "You are good enough against me, but they are not. I don't dare to imagine what could have happened with someone else..."
"Well yeah, I did get the picture." Macklin pushed aside the looming guilt-trip of the blonde woman, and looked around at Anna's yard, beholding the house which despite the size gave a cottage-like impression with the ivy reaching upwards, and the out-buildings, and plants and trees and bushes still looking a little feral and undisciplined as Anna had moved finally in only days ago. "Nice place you have here, by the way. Must be a lot of work too, if this is as old inside as it looks outside. How come a bird like you chose to move out from the city to a place like this?"
Anna snorted. "I shove those goddamn birds down your throat one day." The threat only made the man grin again. "I like it here, that's why. I'm no city-slicker."
"City-slicker", Macklin chuckled. "Sorry, forgot you're a cow-girl. No horse here yet?" He gestured towards a building which clearly was a stable. "There seems to be room for a few."
"Nope, not yet, but maybe one day, I really would like to have some good steed. Anyway, I do like it here. It's peaceful, and there's air and nice landscapes, and I got the roof fixed by a couple of locals my nearest neighbours, mr and mrs Ellis recommended. There's quite a long list of other reparations and renovations in line but I'm not in a hurry, the place is now habitable. And I don't mind the work, I need to be occupied anyway, I love the planning and decorating and everything, and Malcolm is a sweetheart and gives advice." Anna looked around her and smiled. "I fell for the place when I first saw it, although it was after that damn storm last winter and the place had been empty for years. Malcolm didn't need to sell this to me, really, he probably saw I was drooling and whimpering the moment the car stopped when we first arrived here. By the way, he's one hell of a brave man as that was the first time I drove all by myself after getting my British driver's license, and I was in half-hysterics all the way!"
Macklin chuckled at the image but a moment later gave his companion a curious glance. "Anyway, this place is huge for a lone woman, Missie. This is for a family. Big house, stable, that wing, and whatever those buildings are."
Anna gave a little smile. "Oh well, maybe one day there is a family." She blushed mildly.
Macklin opened his mouth to say something, but shut it and thought before opening it again. "Well, I wish you all the best with that project. Speaking of which, does Bodie know I'm here? I didn't see him today and don't know how jealous the bloke is over you. I would rather not need to beat the crap out of him over nothing."
"Bodie knows, he only said he doesn't want to hear about an ambulance visiting. By the way, do you know if Bodie is usually jealous? Hey, you can go inside if you want to change." Anna was doing light hops.
"I can run in these clothes as they go to laundry anyway, besides it wasn't my intention to sweat but to make you do that. Anyway, I change afterwards if I need to, thanks. As for Bodie, I have no idea if he's jealous or not, that hasn't been any of my concern. I've just got an impression he has some kind of special interest in you." Macklin checked the laces of his sneakers.
"Special?" Anna blushed again, and this time more than mildly.
"Well it can be called special, that he has circled around you all this time without trying to sha... uhm, seduce you." Macklin kept his face deadpan. "I'm quite sure you've noticed that bloke is not exactly what could be called celibate."
Anna gave a short laugh. "Well that hasn't been too hard to notice, although I'm quite sure I don't know even a half of it. But he's been a good mate all the time, and now... well, who knows..." she turned clear crimson.
"Spare me", Macklin said with a raised eyebrow. "And no inappropriate behaviour at my gym then, thank you. Nobody is allowed to enjoy his - slash - her existence there. Except me, watching the suffering."
"Haven't yet got to the inappropriate anywhere, as a matter of fact. Not that it is any of your business, actually, now as I think of it." Anna's eyebrow replied to Macklin.
"Well finally you got it." Macklin's voice was dry. "Dammit, somebody might get the false idea I'm a human if he caught me listening to you, woman. Better start lashing your hide. Right, as I said, we could at first have a run of a few miles as it's not raining, for a warm-up. For me, I mean, I had no time after that bloody talk with the chief. How wet are those tracks through the fields?"
"If we take the one going up that little hill, it's in a sneaker-condition, only the first two hundred yards had puddles really and they are easy to avoid."
Macklin looked at the pointed direction, to a little hill maybe a couple of miles away behind some fields showing remnants of stone-fences. "Suits me, I could make your sorry arse go through some interval-excercises there and on the way. And there seem to be some trees, I can make use of those too. Take gloves, so you don't get dirt under your high-society fingernails."
"Go just a little further on that path, Macklin, and it's boxing-gloves that I take", Anna growled, but they both knew she wasn't really annoyed.
"You have those? Oh dammit, if I had known I would have taken mine along", Macklin was a little disappointed. "I didn't know you do boxing."
"That would have been a sight for sore farmer's eyes, to have us punching each other up there. Well, I haven't really boxed before, but thought to give it a try. I thought it might do good to my shoulder and muscles so I bought the gloves and a punch-ball a couple of days ago, of the kind that's attached to ceiling. Haven't got the ball fixed yet as Bodie's been working odd hours and he hasn't been here."
"I meant to suggest you boxing soon so that's actually quite bloody marvellous, and Doyle may come in handy there too, he's not bad with gloves. I can fix the ball if you show where and if you have the tools. Anyway, get your timer and those gloves now and off we go, they promised rain for the later evening."
Anna winced. "They promised, he says..."
At the top of the hill, after the third series of 25 step-ups to a stone, which Anna had done after climbing two big old elms and doing series of pull-ups on a suitable branch, as well as push-ups on a dry patch of ground, Macklin finally gave the red, puffing and sweating woman a breather.
"How's breathing?" Anna sat her head between her knees, her chest and sides heaving, and Macklin wondered if he had gone too far as even the pony-tail was hanging limp. "Do you have your inhaler with you?" He saw the woman shake her head. "Right, just concentrate on getting air. Hey, let me take your heart-rate. Didn't mean to cause you a heart-attack."
Macklin quickly took Anna's wrist and took the time from his watch. "Not that bad, actually, it's within the limits the old doctor gave. Have you talked with Hoskins about your lungs?" He saw Anna nod at first, and after a while the woman finally straightened up a little.
"Yeah - he - told me - to - give it - a few - months - still - to give - my - system - a - chance - to - adapt. And to - try and improve - remaining - capacity. He said - mine - probably - was - well above - average - before shooting, so - maybe could get - close to average - with time."
Macklin nodded in his thoughts. "Yeah he's right, I'm sure your lungs were more efficient and maybe even bigger than those of an average woman of your size. We have to keep on working with your lungs for a few months still, because the oxygen-level affects everything. This confirmed the thoughts I had after the test, I just wanted to see if fresh air makes any difference. So from now on it's going to be very varied excercises for you, the aerobic ones you can take care of by yourself, but when doing the anaerobics, intervals and most of the gym-workout, I want someone to have an eye on you if I'm not around, and cut it if you're too pigheaded to do that yourself."
"I'm - not - pigheaded." Anna scowled.
"Oh yes you are." Macklin gave Anna his don't-start-at-me -look. "You know what you were able to do before, and you want to reach that level again, so your frustration is far greater than mine at the moment. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I want you back in shape too, but my head works more with present than with past. I will have a look at your last fall's papers only after the next New Year, and even then only to see if you're anywhere near those old results. I want you as fit as your organs allow, be it anything over an average woman's fitness or not; and I don't want you to lose your combat-skills. And as a matter of fact, you still are quite fit compared with average chicks, and your heart works fine. So don't throw those glares at me, woman, because I've dealt with these things for years already and even at the moment, only Fischer and Chang of the Squad's birds are anywhere near your fitness, and even they because you've been kicking their arses for weeks, while I am only gently getting serious with you." Macklin sat down on another piece of rock and watched the woman breathe.
"Gently", Anna puffed.
"Well I promised the old quack I won't kill you, didn't I? Do you still go singing?"
"Yeah." Anna started to relax so Macklin saw she was starting to feel better again. "Once a week - now."
"Has it become any easier?"
"Yeah, lots. Those breathing - excercises – I get there - have helped, a lot - I think. Haven't felt - giddy - there - for weeks now."
"Good. I was pretty sure it would help you with time, especially as I knew you like to sing anyway, so you also got a dose of natural endorphines when you were not able to get them from other physical excercise, in addition to workout for the muscles of your ribcage and lungs, and also new way of controlling the flow of air."
"You have - hidden depths", Anna commented.
"Bah, just some experience. No form of excercise should be frowned at for as long as it works and different things work in different situations. Have seen some singers who have a far bigger lung-capacity than average folks of their size, so I've thought there must be something to it." Macklin stretched himself. "Besides everybody knows that if you do something fun, you feel better even physically."
"Right. That's why you thrive - torturing others." The corner of Anna's mouth curled upwards finally.
"Of course. And now I get extra kicks giving you pains." Macklin gave a cheeky grin. "Right, when you feel you're up to it, brisk march back to your place."
Anna took a deep breath and worked herself back on her feet.
"I didn't mean immediately. I don't necessarily want you fainting on me to be carried back", Macklin frowned.
"As you conveniently - skipped - all the darn things - you made me do up here - that would - only serve you right." Anna made a face at him.
"Why excuse me, I'm not the one needing to get back in shape", Macklin objected, and they headed down the hill, pickering about excercises, and whether or not someone should be keeping an eye on the Chief Trainer's physical prowess. But as far as Macklin was concerned, a march - maybe little less than brisk but with constant talking - was itself good excercise for the woman, after her momentary exhaustion.
"You really are something, you know." Macklin stood his hands on his hips and shook his head after he had studied the punch-ball Anna had purchased.
The woman was crimson. "Well I can't be a genius in everything, now can I?"
Macklin sighed. "Just take the receipt, go back to that store, and ask if they have something that you could actually use here. Or then I attach it over your kitchen table and you can stand there. Just for your information for the future, the ceilings in this house seem to be bloody two or three feet higher than in modern apartments and you're not exactly six feet four yourself either. So, either go and change the ball, or get yourself a practising-table to stand on. Or stilts. And, another thing, that ball doesn't even seem to fit in here. I wouldn't fix it in any room in an old place like this if this was mine. Rather into some of those warehouses or outbuildings. Or basement, but some room which is more modern or less good-looking."
Anna looked around her. "Guess you have a point. It just felt such a brilliant idea at the time." It was clear she was mortified.
"There's nothing wrong with the idea itself, I told you. Anyway, even if you decide you won't have a ball or a sack here, there are several places where you can pop in to practise, now as you have the gloves."
"Not my usual gym, I asked last week, they don't have boxing at all, that's why I bought the ball". Anna looked pouty.
"Doyle has a ball at his place, you know that, Bodie does some boxing too but I don't know where or if his gym is anything for birds, you could ask him. And there's an old bloke I know who has a little gym where boxers go, he's got eye for techniques and so on. He could use a few extra bobs now as he kicked out some blokes who meddled with drugs and pills, a few months ago."
"A decent one, then?"
Macklin shrugged. "Well, more or less. Bad-mouthed he is and sometimes swims in a bottle, but he likes to keep his place and trainees clean anyway."
"But didn't the dealers want to get back at him? I've heard they can turn nasty, and if he's an older guy..."
"Others can be nasty too, not only crooks. Old Jock has some friends and we- uhm, they kind of announced that trying to bother Jock has negative health-effects."
"And they believed?"
"At least the one who got out from the hospital last week."
"He tried?"
"Not personally, but he sent two underlings, who rather talked than visited ITU. Besides, like every doctor can confirm, it's always more efficient to get into the root of the problem instead of only tackling with the symptoms. Same goes with thugs and their bosses."
Anna put her hands on her hips. "You look far too smug for your own good, Macklin. And let me guess, now you're going to tell me with clear innocent eyes you had nothing to do with scaring the crap out of the underlings and beating some bugger to pulp without simply going to the police?"
"Well all right if you insist, I take the clear innocent eyes." Macklin waved Anna's resentfulness aside. "Besides those underlings had cans of petrol with them when they broke into the gym, enough to burn down the whole place and Jock's flat, which is straight above it. Also, the police got them eventually, the whole lot, and the underlings ready and willing to speak because they knew it would be safer for them to be behind the bars. The boss was more pigheaded."
"Had been."
"What?"
"If you repeat hearsay, it's had been instead of was, which indicates you were there yourself too." Now Anna's arms were across her chest.
"Why thank you, mrs Grammar. I keep that in mind. It's been a while since I was interrogated the last time." Macklin concentrated to pack the punch-ball back into the box and through her narrowed eyes Anna tried to decide whether his ears were a little more red or not as somehow the shade looked a little different.
"And probably that only means you've been good enough to cover your tracks", she sighed. "I don't know if I should laugh or give you another bruise."
"How about making some coffee instead? And for your information, Jock is over 70, has no family after his missus died, and his son is in Australia, and he keeps that place with his savings because it's the only place for some lads to have something remotely sensible to do instead of hanging on the streets beating grannies. There they get at least some motivation to keep their heads straight and to try to eat and drink healthy, training for amateur matches." Macklin closed the box.
"Oh." Anna squinted her eyes and thought for a moment. "And did you make sure the message got through to all possible bullies?"
"Yepp."
"Good. All right, regular or cappuccino?"
"Okay. I think you had some reason to suggest the training here today, other than just running in fresh air. Am I right?" Anna had showed Macklin around the house while the coffee was brewing, and now poured full mugs for them both. "Oh and help yourself to anything on the table."
"Thanks." Macklin took a roll which had some stuffing. "Well yeah, as I knew this is an old house which was uninhabited for quite a while, in the middle of bloody nowhere, I wanted to see the place and surroundings to decide better on the excercises you can do here. And I have to say that training-wise this is a very good place; there are good runs, and you can do intervals either there on the hill, or inside here in the stairs, you can do the pull-ups outdoors if the weather is fine, and so on. Besides, if you bought yourself a saw, and I mean a regular saw and not one with a motor, you would get hell of a good workout for that shoulder and arm of yours simply sawing those planks as I suppose they're meant for some repair. Use your head a little and I bet you yourself come up with more."
"Oh." Anna was impressed. "I see. Yes, of course. And actually, I could ask the Ellises too, if they have something to do at their farm."
"Digging, hammering, sawing, carrying, why waste time to drive all the way from here to some gym, if you can achieve the same here doing something useful?" Macklin took a bite of the roll. "These are good. Something Mexican?"
"Yeah, tortillas. With veggies and chicken as filling, felt like Mexico yesterday when in kitchen. I got your point, I have done some small things here according to my condition, but never thought I could use chores as excercise really." Anna looked thoughtful. "And I think the Ellises could use a pair of hands, mr Ellis hurt his leg a few weeks ago and complained the other day that it still bothers him. That way I could also give a little back to them, they have been really a great help." Anna took a bite of a tortilla too. "Hmph. Why didn't I think about it myself? It makes perfect sense now when you talked about it."
"Well where do the farmhands and builders get their muscles from? They don't go to the gym, you know, they work. As simple as that."
"Still not simple enough for me, it seems." Anna grimaced.
"On the contrary, it was too simple. You're a woman after all. Complicated." Seeing Anna's eyes narrowing, Macklin raised a placating hand. "You're not the worst though, I wouldn't have taken you as my cross otherwise. You're pretty tolerable usually."
"Why thank you." Anna's voice was cool.
"Don't tell me you're one of those chicks who can't take a compliment when they hear it. Do you mind if I have another one?" Macklin pointed at the tortillas.
"Compliment? Well if you say so." There was no warmth still.
Macklin rolled his eyes. "You are the only woman I can imagine working with voluntarily. Any better?"
Anna thought for a moment before smiling. "Well... yeah." She saw the questioning look and the sideglance to the tortillas. "Have as many as you want, I made plenty."
"Thanks." Brian happily picked two more on his plate. "Oh and I also wanted to see if there's a spot here we could use for matches for a few weeks."
Anna almost suffocated to the bite she had just taken.
"Don't start choking there now. I got an idea about it, and using psychological terms, I aim at both de-sensitising, and, conditioning you. While at the same time taking care of your combat skills not getting rusty, of course."
Anna finally managed to inhale again. "Are you crazy?" Water was running from her eyes and she had to take water and drink it.
"Yeah, but that doesn't have anything to do with it, does it? Anyway, I'm being serious. We have about four weeks in our free use before you're supposed to start training the basics with your penpusher-lot, and I rather have now these particular excercises in some place else than at the HQ, even if they are held after my other trainings, because it's going to be different from my usual sessions, and I don't want that bloody commotion again we had on Friday. So I'd appreciate if you tried to listen instead of bursting an artery."
Anna managed to stop coughing. "What's that about de-sensitising and whatsit, conditioning? Have you been talking with dr Ross?"
"No I haven't, besides today she looked like she would scream if I only opened my mouth to say g'day. What I mean is, that, I am going to try and get you de-sensitised, meaning, gradually raise the bar of your boiling-point. Are you following me?"
Anna frowned. "Yeah, I think I am. Sort of. Can't figure out the how though."
"Pushing you, of course, and, using the other half of the fancy terms, I want to try and condition you to a word. A safety-word, as a matter of fact. Something that makes you stop doing whatever it is you're doing."
"Safety-word?" Anna sat down again and it looked like she was unwillingly getting interested. "What's that?"
To make Anna relax, Macklin took a swallow and a bite before continuing, and he saw the woman finally take the coffee-mug back in her hand. "Some word working as a red light if things are slipping out of hand, as simple as that. But as it looks like that when you snap you do that quite totally, I think that we have to try and work with that word, so that it would grow gradually stronger in your mind at the same time as my pushing intensified. Some word you don't use or hear in every other sentence, and which means to you something positive and, especially, safe. We can use it both ways, and I think we also should, so that at least for starters, if you felt you're going to snap, you could make me stop by using the word. That should reinforce it in your mind."
"Not in yours?" Anna looked still baffled and leery.
"I rarely lose control over myself." Macklin looked completely at ease saying that, and after a moment of thinking and taking a swallow of coffee, Anna reluctantly nodded.
"Yeah, I've noticed that. And you're able to handle me anyway."
"At least for the time being." Macklin looked calm saying that but Anna blinked at that unexpected comment. "You know, when I went home on Friday, I tried to remember when I've been in that kind of fight at work, and it was maybe a couple of years back when agent Kennedy still was in service, he's a SAS like some others in the Squad but his years in Ulster had cut his fuse short, and he, by the way, is quite a lot bigger than you are so I can tell that you literally got out of proportions. That's another reason why I want to do this now, before you're in full form. I don't mind getting a few bruises but I dont want to get in a situation where I would have to injure you to make you stop. Anyway, I think it can't get much worse at the moment if we start it now, and if my idea works, you get a better control over yourself and also get to let some steam out. Think it this way; you may snap anywhere. Some drunk punk in the city leans on you, hell, or some Bodie's mate who has taken a few, you get the picture? There may not be around anyone your match to get in between in time if you lose it."
Anna looked dark. "You don't have to remind me." She sighed. "That safety-word business, how did you get it in your mind? And are there people using those?"
Macklin coughed, as if a little embarrassed and amused at the same time. "Yeah, there are, but let's say that probably not in your circles. I'm quite sure you don't want to know where they're used, but they are really used exactly for that, to make a person stop if the other one is starting to feel too uncomfortable."
"But does it work?"
"This is the first time I give it a try, but I've been told it does work. So it should work with you too. But it's up to you, Missie, if you want to give it a try"
She thought for a while. "But what if it goes wrong, for some reason?"
"I promise I stop immediately if I get a whiff things turn to worse." Macklin looked serious. "I have no intention to mess your head any further."
"Okay then." Anna sighed and let her shoulders relax. "Why not, if you're willing to bother. And I want my head in check too." She finished her tortilla and emptied her mug. "More coffee?"
"Just a half, thanks."
Anna made an even share of the rest of the coffee. "Okay. When do you want to start with it?"
"As soon as possible. I call you tomorrow, all right? About lunch-time? I make you the homework-plan tonight and we can talk about that too."
"And you trust me to follow that plan all by myself?" Now Anna looked a little amused.
"Of course, the bloody perfectionists that you women are. But like I said, the tougher bits only if there's someone keeping an eye on you."
Anna pushed the tortilla-plate closer. "Just don't feed Bodie, please. He'll be a ball of butter if the rest of the stuff you make is anything like this." The trainer couldn't resist the temptation nevertheless, and took one more.
"These are not overly fatty and you can always make him sweat, can't you?" Anna grinned.
"Oh if it was up to me, he'd be sweating every day. Just like most others. Doyle is one of the few who really excercise on their own initiative, the rest have to be kicked every now and then."
"Most of the women in my group excercise very faithfully", Anna disapproved the derogatory comment.
"Yeah, because you birds always want to be perfect. Most of the time it's bloody annoying but sometimes comes in handy", Macklin made a generous gesture with the mug in his hand.
"Ha ha. And all that annoys you men about it is, that women get very close to being perfect."
"Shut it, Missie."
They continued their amiable verbal fencing for a few minutes longer, before Macklin took his leave.
Later in the evening Anna got a phonecall from Bodie, who had to go on a stakeout for the night but first wanted to hear if Anna was all right after the training, and Anna reassured the agent she was in perfect condition and the discussion meandered into the best jokes Bodie had heard from young Lennox.
"Oh hey, by the way, Bodie, before I forget, do you know where they use something called safety-words?" Anna suddenly remembered.
"Yeah, in those S/M places." Bodie had the answer ready.
"S/M?"
"Sado-mas..." Bodie didn't swallow in time.
"WHAT?" Anna was blinking rapidly at her end of the line.
"I've been told!" Bodie added hastily. "Haven't been in any such place meself, honest. Hey but I have to go, Ray's at the door. Cheers!"
"Bye and take care-" Bodie had vanished already.
Anna let the hooting receiver down.
"Sado-masochism?" she just had to say it aloud once more, incredulous.
After a while she started to giggle. "Well, at least he claimed it would be the first time..."