I wrote this on a whim while a bit bored at work tonight.
Disclaimer: I, obviously, do not own The Mighty Boosh or any of it's characters. I just get a kick out of Noel and Julian's creations. The original Christmas classing 'The Night Before Christmas' was written by Clement Moore.
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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the shop,
All the creatures were stirring as the shopping did stop.
Old, dusty jazz records sat on unloved the shelf,
Which could only be cherished by Howard himself.
Vince stares at his reflection in a fine pane of glass,
While Naboo and Bollo get high on their grass.
Close up Nabootique, back up to the flat,
Crash out on the sofa for drinks and a chat.
When downstairs in the shop there arose such a clatter,
Vince and Howard head back to see what's the matter.
Howard steps down, with Vince close behind,
Peering around to see what horrors they can find.
Another loud crash, a new fear and shock to live,
As Howard cries 'Don't kill me, I have so much to give!'
Vince pushes past Howard and turns on the light,
To witness the source of this bump in the night.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
Was the source of the problem, the answer now clear.
He stood in the shop, all scaly and green,
In the light from above his pink tutu did gleam.
Vince looked at the stranger, from seaweed to leg,
He knew in an instant this must be Old Gregg.
Gregg looked at Howard, who was looking at Vince,
Howard's shrew like eyes narrowing as he did wince.
"Why're you here?" asks Vince with a frown,
His eyes scanning up this underwater clown.
"Old Gregg came to give Howard his present!"
He holds out a box what was wrapped up all pleasant.
Howard steps forward, his face full of worry,
Gregg drops the gift and grabs Howard in a hurry.
And then, in a twinkling, the bell on the door,
As Gregg dragged Howard straight out of the store.
Vince goes to follow into the cold London air,
But decides that this weather would mess up his hair.
Vince heard Gregg exclaim as he took Howard out of sight,
Wondering if Howard would put up a fight.
Old Gregg could be heard from Dalston to China,
"My name is Old Gregg and I have a mangina!"