~Fearless~
"Honestly Alfie, it's not that scary, ya chicken."
Alfred Freedom Jones whimpered as he clutched the couch's throw pillow tightly and clasped his eyes shut. Why oh why did he always let his twin sister, Amelia Liberty Jones, talk him into watching these things? And why did it always seem like a good idea at the time? Couldn't possibly be the fact that Ami would jab at his ego, or that she could pose a threat to his man-card; he could just imagine the devilish glee she'd get out of telling their buddy Gilbert that Alfred F. Jones, self-proclaimed Badass Hero, was a total sissy when it came to horror movies. Amelia got some sort of sick pleasure out of coercing him into watching these things.
Tonight's nightmare fuel was a film on Netflix titled "Grave Encounters". The plot was fairly simple; a new paranormal investigation group, not unlike that of the "Ghost Adventures" crew, was filming their 6th episode inside an old, abandoned mental hospital, and once inside, the building turned into an inescapable labyrinth of hallways, filled with all sorts of spooks and specters.
Amelia sat there on the couch, cool as a cucumber. Alfred, on the other hand, was about three seconds away from shitting his pants. Mother of God, his sister had to possess some sort of demonic powers! Hell, for all he knew, he could be sitting next to the devil's mistress (which, when he thought about it, wasn't so far off the mark; she was dating that psycho Russian dude, and Alfred had no problem believing that Ivan was the devil himself.)
How could she be so calm in the face of such terror? Not only that, how could she call it "lame"? Being all alone in pitch darkness and then thrown up into the air and having your neck snapped by a ghost wasn't lame at all! Nor was finding a severed tongue on the ground, or being thrown down an empty elevator shaft, or having the word "hello" carved into your back!
And now some dude was being drowned in a bathtub full of blood! Good Lord, why was Amelia not screaming in horror? She was a chick, wasn't she? Weren't girls supposed to scream and cry while the guy was the hero and put up a brave front?
"Don't ya think that's just a little sexist, Al?"
Belatedly, Alfred realized he had said that last thought out loud.
"Seriously Ami, how can you like this stuff?" He nearly shrieked. (Nearly. He wasn't quite ready to get his man-card revoked yet.) "This is worse than when that guy got sawed in half in'The Raven'!"
"Bitch, please!" Amelia scoffed. "The Raven was a thousand times better than this movie!" (Amelia had dragged him to that one recently, because it was about her favorite American poet, Edgar Allen Poe. Neither one of them had known about the gore in it, much to Amelia's delight and Alfred's displeasure.)
Alfred jumped once again when the solitary female character started shrieking again. She and the main character had dumped the bathtub of blood over, to find that the unfortunate camera man who had been drowning in it had disappeared entirely.
Amelia laughed.
Amelia LAUGHED. She threw her head back and laughed at the character's pain and suffering. And honestly, how could she call it cheesy? Had she really been THAT jaded from "The Woman in Black", "Nightmare on Elm Street", "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", the numerous Stephen King movies she had watched, and the Fatal Frame video games she was constantly fangasming over?
About 20 minutes later, the movie ended with the main character having lost his mind completely and dying alone, to which Amelia had frowned and called out "LAME!" Alfred momentarily loosened his grip on the pillow, only to tighten it again as he thought of the perilous journey he would have to take from his seat in the living room to the safety of his bedroom. Fuck, there were bound to be insane ghosts coming out of every crack and opening! Why was his bedroom so far away?
As if reading his thoughts, Amelia sighed and took hold of his arm, pulling him to his feet. "Come on, ya big baby. Ya want Tony in your room tonight?" She began to lead him towards the stairs as she called for the family dog, a Siberian husky by the name of Tony. The family feline named Americat was always good for a cuddle if you were feeling sad or lonely, but if you were scared shitless, then it was time to call in Tony to watch over you while you slept. The dog was a fuckin' tank, man!
"'Corse I want Tony!" Alfred half-scoffed, half-whimpered. "We men gotta stick together!"
Amelia rolled her eyes and continued to lead him down the hallway towards his room. He jumped every time he heard a creak or groan. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, they were going to die! That's it, it was all over for them. Tony would bravely try to defend them as they were overtaken by the ghouls lurking in their house, but Ami would be the first casualty, and then Alfred would be taken next. Mom and Dad would regret ever going out tonight and leaving their poor, defenseless teenagers at home. Their deaths would become televised all over the country, maybe even all over the world, and their high school would have a moment of silence for them, even dedicate a memorial page to them in the yearbook, and people would mourn that they were taken too soon from this world and-
"We're here, dummy. You can let go of me now."
Oh.
Amelia snorted at his surprised expression and kissed him softly on the forehead. "Night, Alfie."
"N-night, Ami."
Aw, hell no, he did not stutter just then, did he?
"Don't worry, Tony'll keep you safe."
Alfred scowled as he closed the door to his room and quickly jumped into the bed. He was a badass hero, he didn't need a dog to protect him. Not that Tony wasn't awesome, because he most certainly was. He'd be the best sidekick a hero could ever hope for! But still, heroes didn't rely on their sidekicks to protect them. There was a reason Batman was constantly replacing Robin.
Alfred snuggled down into his Superman bed sheets, Tony laying at the foot of his bed. he was browsing through his iPod, trying to find a soothing playlist to at least help him get some sleep tonight, when he heard a loud shriek of terror coming from Amelia's room. His eyes widened so far, they nearly popped out of their sockets. Oh god, he was totally right! His sister was totally gonna be killed by a vengeful spirit!
"ALFIE, HELP! GET THE DUST BUSTER!"
...wait, the dust buster? What, did she think she could just suck the ghosts up, like in "Casper"? Getting out of bed, he whimpered slightly as he glanced down the dark hallway towards his sister's room. He decided to clench his eyes shut and book it.
When he slammed the door open, the sight he was greeted with was not quite what he was expecting.
Amelia was curled up in as tight a ball as she could manage, her Captain America bedspread kicked down to the foot of her mattress as she looked up at the ceiling with absolute terror. Alfred followed her gaze...
...and saw nothing more than a fat spider resting above the bed.
It never ceased to amaze him. His seemingly fearless sister could look any ghost in the eye with nary a flinch, but she couldn't even look at a tiny little spider without screaming and changing from a tough tomboy to a squealing little girl.
"Seriously, Ami?" he sighed. "You're screaming over a little bug?"
"It is NOT a little bug, have you even seen the thing?" she whimpered.
"So don't look at it."
"Are you kidding me? Spiders are like Weeping Angels! You don't take your eyes off that shit, or else they'll disappear!"
Alfred rolled his eyes, but nevertheless went out into the hall closet and armed himself with the dust buster. He re-entered her room, stood on Amelia's bed, pointed the end of the miniature vacuum at the fat sucker, and turned the power on. Americat scrambled out of the room as the dust buster came to life and Amelia shrieked at the desperate flail the arachnid made as it was sucked to its early grave.
Alfred turned it off. "There. Happy now?" Honestly, Amelia was such a little girl about spiders.
He turned to leave for his own room, when he had footsteps behind him. Shit, he'd completely forgot about the ghosts! He whirled around, only to find his twin behind him.
"Can I sleep in your bed? That eight-legged bastard might've had friends, and I ain't stickin' around of he and his buddies were gonna have a frat party over my bed."
And so it was that Alfred found Amelia curled up against him in his own room, Tony resting dutifully at their feet, while Americat was curled up by their heads, purring into her mistress's ear. Soon afterward, Alfred and Amelia drifted off to sleep at the sound of Amelia's "Enya" playlist.
Divided, they were vulnerable to their respective enemies. United, they were truly fearless. The ghosts and the eight-legend bastards didn't stand a chance against their heroic might.
1. Their names, Alfred "Freedom" and Amelia "Liberty"... Let's just say their parents are really patriotic.
2. I've always imagined that since Alfred is so damn scared of horror movies and video games, Amelia would be so thrilled by them. *shrugs*
3. Alfred's Superman sheets vs. Amelia's Captain America: You can't convince me that Amelia wouldn't be a fan of superheroes too. And while I believe that they both would enjoy seeing "The Dark Knight Rises" or "The Avengers" together, it's my weird headcanon that Alfred would lean more towards DC comics, while Amelia would be more of a Marvel fan-girl.
4. Weeping Angels: You CANNOT convince me that they AREN'T Doctor Who fans. I mean, come on!
5. "Grave Encounters" is actually a real movie, you can watch it on Netflix. While it is rather cheesy and does have a lame ending, they did a pretty good job with the ghosts.
6. Edgar Allen Poe was the most awesome poet and writer, second only to Shakespeare, and "The Raven" was an awesome movie. Go see it.
7. Fatal Frame: These games can be summed up in six words. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
Nope, I still don't own APH.